Absence
by Iane Casey
Summary: Cuddy gets drunk after her miscarriage and calls House. What's meant to be a time of comfort goes downhill when she starts ranting. Angst and drama ensues. On impulse, she fires him, asks him to leave and never show his face again. House listens to her.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **

_**A/N: NEW STORY!**_

_Yay! This is my third Huddy fic! Hopefully you guys would also love it just like ASH and BW._

_I thought that since ASH is coming to an end, I'd start the third fic._

Takes place in between seasons 2 and 3.

_**

* * *

**_

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

PROLOGUE

_**.**_

_**July 20, 6 pm**_

Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the strong and powerful Dean of Medicine of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, the unbreakable and independent woman, was getting herself drunk—again-- for the second time in two weeks. She didn't usually drink but she had a good reason to do so.

She was at home after having taken three weeks off prior to her miscarriage. Yes, the In Vitro Fertilization Treatment worked. But her body failed—once again—to provide her the everlasting happiness and fulfillment that she has been longing for; a child. Someone she could love unconditionally and call her own and would love her back just as much. She won't forget the date she miscarried. July 5. It was fortunate for her that she didn't need Dilation and Curettage because her body expelled all fetal materials naturally.

Fate has been kind to her in all aspects of her life except love and family. She became successful in her field, she became a powerful, and independent woman. But Fate didn't seem to want her to succeed in love and family. Either that or Fate was only testing her.

She needed to numb herself and shove out all thoughts of her miscarriage from her mind by drinking alcohol and making herself drunk. The infuriating thing was she's always managed to hold her liquor and that was the reason why she was not too drunk yet. But she wanted to numb herself completely so she stayed in bed, her back against the headboard as she continued drinking her Vodka.

She wanted to forget about everything. Hurt, pain, and anger were running rampant throughout her system and were making her want to drown herself more in her drink. She hated herself because of the miscarriage. She hated her body. The body that could produce drooling looks from any man who set eyes on her but couldn't produce a child. She hated that fact.

She had no idea how she could have cried a river from the day she miscarried and could still be able to cry at that moment. It's been two weeks. She carried her baby for only six weeks from conception. She didn't even reach the middle of her first trimester. It's been two weeks of sorrow, agony, and silent mourning. She could have cried an ocean and nothing would change because it wouldn't matter. Her baby was gone. She kept telling herself that it was only an embryo, not even a fetus, but she couldn't convince herself to call it that. It mattered too much.

This utter chaos in her life could have been alleviated even for a fraction had she someone with her. Someone to comfort her, feel her pain, and hug her while soothing her with words of encouragement that she could always try again. If only she had a man in her life; a husband, a lover, a partner, or whatever would suffice just as long as she had someone to be with and to lean on. No matter how strong and independent she was she was still a woman after all. There should be someone with her to help her through that moment. But sadly, there was none.

She needed someone.

She needed _him._

She needed House.

Even she herself didn't know why House was the one she needed at that moment. But she felt that since he was the only one who knew about the treatments, he would understand her pain better than anyone else. She knew that she could always count on him whenever she had deep, personal problems.

For some reason that was unknown to both of them; pain, suffering, hurt, and grief brought them together in some form of attraction that only the two of them had.

She secretly loved and appreciated him for always being there for her no matter how he makes it look intolerable, idiotic, and unendurable for him to listen to all her pain, he was still there listening. And when she was at her lowest, he manages to make her crack a small smile even if just temporarily. He was always there. And now, she needed him there with her.

But he was still recovering from his gunshot wounds.

Oh God, she felt her heart stop when she heard of it. She ran to the observation room of the OR in her power suit and do-me pumps without the slightest thought of decorum. Her world crashed when she saw him, her friend and her employee, lying unconscious on the operating table with his abdomen bleeding profusely and his neck bleeding as well. She remembered Cameron trembling when she told her that he personally asked for Ketamine. She quickly approved the treatment.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when her doorbell rang. She shuffled towards her front door and opened it. The UPS guy made her sign something and she took the small package, left it somewhere, and then grabbed another small bottle of Smirnoff's from the kitchen before she flopped down on her comfortable couch and stared off into space, tears slowly trickling down her cheeks.

She finally decided to call him. She took the telephone from its cradle and dialed a number she knew by heart. She knew that he was still recovering but she had to see him. She had to talk to someone about what happened or else she'll go mad.

She needed him.

She needed House.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Let me know if I should continue...

_**Spoiler:**_

_Don't let the prologue deceive you. Because Chapter 1 is going to be full of angst and possibly, drama._

_More dialogue and description too! _


	2. Tension

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **

_**A/N: UPDATE!**_

_**Thank you for the feedback on the prologue! :D**_

_Here's chapter 1!_

_Again, please let me know if I should continue…_

_**I hope you like it! **_

_**

* * *

**_

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 1: TENSION

_**.**_

"House," Cuddy cut him off before he had the chance to say his usual "Somebody better be dying!" greeting.

On the other line, House immediately pursed his lips and furrowed his brows when he picked up on the tiredness in her voice and tone. He instantly knew that something was up and he was sure as hell that that something wasn't good at all.

"Cuddy," he addressed her, his voice low and laced with a tinge of suspicion.

"Can you come over?" she softly requested. "Please?" she added. Internally, she wished he would come.

"Why?" House asked since it was the first question that was eating at him at the moment.

Cuddy groaned in frustration, "Just, please. Come over. I'll tell you when you get here." She said, her voice pleading for him to come.

"I'll be right there." House said in a casual manner, not wanting to expose himself. He cared about her, he always have. But even she knows that he masks the care with his own personal touch of blunt truth and sarcasm.

"Thank you," Cuddy replied and hung up. She sat on the couch and stared at the phone. She called him. What now? She sighed and drained her bottle of vodka and lay down on the couch. She gazed around her living room. It was big, empty, and cold. Just like she was feeling now but feeling small not big.

It would take House about 15 minutes to reach her house in that death trap he called a bike. What would she tell him aside from the miscarriage? She knows that he would ask him why she called him instead of Wilson. She needn't think about the reason though. Wilson was a very caring person but sometimes he just overdoes it. And as opposed to her previous thoughts of wanting someone there to comfort her and assure her, she wanted House's own brand of those things. Channeling his care and concern via sarcasm, blunt truth, and real assurances that although weren't too optimistic for her taste, she would be able to translate them for herself. She wanted the kind of comfort only he could give.

She was half drunk by that time. Ho many bottles have she downed? She has no idea. She was sure though that she drank enough to make her drunk but still able to think. But her partial drunkenness was surely going to give her no control over her words and actions.

Unmindful of where the question from her head came from, she suddenly had her mind swimming in thoughts.

What would have happened if she asked him to be her sperm donor? Would he have agreed or at least thought about it? Would he have talked to her about being just a plain donor or an active participant in everything? Would she have been pregnant by now and haven't miscarried?

A part of her, somewhere so deep she couldn't herself reach, wanted to have a part of him. That was why she wanted to ask him but she kept herself from asking at the last minute. She also knew his genes were obviously great and that he was the safest choice next to Wilson.

She shook her head from those questions and thoughts. There were more things to think about at the moment. She lay there contemplating whether calling House was the right choice.

House got dressed and took his helmet and exited the apartment. He revved up the scooter and was on his way to Cuddy's when he decided to buy something for Cuddy. She sounded like a big mess so most probably she still hasn't eaten dinner.

Why was he dead set on going? He was curious, he thought. No. he was _both _curious and concerned.

Why did she sound so defeated? As if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. He hasn't seen her for a month and a half now. Miraculously he was able to keep himself from walking in on her house in the morning and invite her to jog.

_**

* * *

**_

8 pm

Three knocks on Cuddy's door woke her up from her short nap. It took her awhile to stand up and because her head was throbbing from thinking, drinking, and that very short nap. Finally able to keep her balance, she slowly walked to her front door and managed to glance at her wall clock. She found out that she didn't have a short nap; she had two hours worth of a nap. She immediately wondered whether it was House or somebody else at her door. She hoped as hell it was House.

She looked through the peephole and was pleased to find House waiting not so tolerantly outside.

She opened the door a crack and leaned on the doorframe. She looked up at him with a sad smile on her lips. "Hey," she greeted not managing much effort at cheerfulness.

House studied her appearance. She looked like… well, she looked like crap. Her hair was tied in a messy ponytail; her eyes were red and puffy obviously from crying her heart out. She was wearing a baggy white long-sleeved shirt and sweats.

"You look like hell!" House said in greeting, not wanting to ask her what's wrong at that exacts moment.

He didn't expect her to smile at his words though. He wondered whether he should be scared or happy that she smiled.

"Thanks," she whispered sarcastically. After a split second of silence she asked, "What took you so long?" she asked him just as quietly.

House shyly held up a bag of Chinese take out in front of her while another hand had a plastic bag with approximately six cans of beer in them. Cuddy gratefully smiled at him in appreciation.

"So, am I just a delivery guy or will you let me in?" House uncomfortably asked her as she just stared at him. Cuddy opened the door wider and House went in.

House was slightly shocked to see empty Vodka bottles lying around her house.

"You didn't tell me you had a party," House muttered, knowing that she drank them all. Cuddy didn't answer. Instead, she headed to the living room and sat on a couch and kept silent.

House followed after dropping the bags on her dining table.

"Loser boyfriend left you?" House guessed.

Cuddy scoffed at him. "I wish," she muttered and leaned back on the couch and slapped a hand on her forehead. This was just frustrating.

"Cuddy what's wrong? You only get drunk when you fail at something." House stated knowingly. He tried to look for an answer in her outlook but he wasn't able to get one.

They stayed quiet for quite some time. When House was about to speak Cuddy finally found her voice and she spoke.

"I lost it, House." She whispered as her eyes started misting up.

"What?" House asked her unsure of what she lost. Although he had a fairly good idea what it was.

Cuddy met his eyes and he saw them filled with hurt, regret, and anguish. "I miscarried." She said then buried her face in her hands and cried.

House didn't know what to say. He knew that she always wanted a child. He wanted to give her assurances but there weren't any. He can tell her she could try again and there's still that big possibility that she'll just end up miscarrying again. He wanted to hold her in his arms but thought twice about it. It'll just make her confused.

"You can always try again." House whispered finally allowing her to have a little assurance.

"Just to fail again, right?" Cuddy answered in a sob.

"Adopt." House said.

"Single parent? Not to mention, not mine," Cuddy said firmly. As long as she can conceive she would try but if it really didn't work for her, she would think about adopting then.

House didn't know what to say anymore so he just asked. "When?" he cautiously asked.

"Two weeks ago," she whispered.

"And you didn't tell me?" House asked then thought about it and quickly added, "Or Wilson."

"None of your nor Wilson's business." Cuddy answered in annoyance.

"Then why call me and ask me to come?" House asked her firmly.

"I needed you here." Cuddy admitted.

"Why?" House asked.

"I don't know House, I just do!" she answered in frustration and got up.

"Cuddy, it was just an embryo, not even a fetus. You can try again." House said not meaning to sound so heartless.

"It was still mine! It was still my baby! I lost it!" Cuddy choked as tears freely fell from her face for him to see.

"Well, there's nothing you can do about it now, is there?" House coldly replied as he stood up and walked towards her.

"You son of a bitch," Cuddy said as she slapped him. Hard. She wanted him there to comfort her, not insult her. She must have been deluded into thinking he could care.

She was supposed to slap him again when he stopped her hand by holding on to her wrist. Her other hand was about to finish the job but he gripped her other wrist too.

Her chest heaved as she glared at him. House studied her. She was just hurting and drunk that's why she was acting the way she was at that moment. He wanted to tell her he was sorry but he wasn't. Why lie? Everybody does it enough.

"Let go of me," Cuddy said, gritting her teeth. She was mad at him. She wanted him there and right now she was mad at him. She should never have called him.

House pinned her hands on the fireplace in her living room. He pinned her wrists in level with her ears.

"No." House answered sternly.

Cuddy looked at him with hatred in her features but after gazing into his eyes and to his lips her eyes softened a shade and she wondered how those lips would taste in hers. She made a split second decision to at least try and forget her miscarriage. She was probably drunk enough to forget.

She leaned in and closed the gap between them as his hands still pinned her wrists. She kissed him hungrily, her tongue instantly slipping into his mouth and she moans as her tongue battled his for a fight over dominance. After a fraction of a second, House kissed her back just as hungrily as she did.

The hands which pinned her wrists loosened and glided up her hands. She intertwined her fingers with his as they hungrily kissed each other with need, desire, and lust. It was perfect but the situation was all wrong. It made House feel as if he was taking advantage of her at that moment. He pulled away from their kiss and looked at Cuddy whose mouth still hung open but whose lips were swollen at that moment.

He released his grip on her hands and started to get his helmet when she called out to him.

"Don't go. Please." Cuddy pleaded.

"Cuddy, you're drunk. I won't take advantage of that," House answered honestly and it stunned her. He was serious. But none of her would listen to him at that moment.

She's already tasted him and she wanted to keep doing so because even for a few seconds of drowning in that kiss she lost herself completely. She lost her senses and her feelings. She forgot that she miscarried and forgot about everything else.

She didn't only need him now, she also wanted him. She craved for him after having a taste.

"No." House firmly said as he looked at her.

Cuddy moved towards him and she looked up at him as she pulled the white baggy shirt from her body and let it drop on the floor.

"No?" Cuddy asked him.

House was able to control himself. She wouldn't really want this. She was drunk and she was not herself at that moment. She would regret it in the morning and it will count as the second one night stand they have had.

"No." House replied as he stood his ground.

Cuddy started sliding down her sweats but House stopped her hands from doing so.

"Cuddy, you're drunk. Go to sleep," he said as he took the shirt from the floor and handed it to her.

Cuddy punched his chest as tears escaped her eyes yet again.

"I'm making myself vulnerable to you, you bastard!" she said as she punched him again.

"Cuddy you are not making yourself vulnerable. You're making yourself available to me." House cleared. Cuddy still didn't make a move to put on the shirt.

"I want you to help me forget," she pleaded.

"Cuddy, you're practically whoring yourself to me right now!" House almost yelled and that silenced Cuddy. He had to do that if he wanted her to realize what she was doing was brash.

Brash was his game, not hers.

She would break now but she would heal later.

Did he just say she was whoring herself to him? How dare he?! How dare he say that to my face?! He was out of line! Cuddy's mind was fuming and she wanted to slap him or punch him at that moment but refrained from doing so.

She wore the shirt again and she pointed to the door as her eyes expressed what could only be read as rage and hatred. "Get out of my house! And you know what? You don't need to go back to work! Just go and don't let me see your face again!" Cuddy yelled at him with rage.

"_You_ called me Cuddy, _you, _wanted me here, and _you _said you needed me here." House told her.

"And I'm sorry and stupid that I even did!" Cuddy said incredulously, her tone rising with every word.

"You're mad at me for not having sex with you tonight? You wanted to forget about your miscarriage. You wanted to forget about once again failing to be a mother and now you're mad because I actually declined your offer of meaningless sex?" House asked her incredulously. She had to wake up from her drunken stupor if she wanted to set things right. But she wouldn't. Not soon at least.

Cuddy slapped him again. Harder, this time. House wasn't able to dodge it because he just let her do it. He's endured much more painful things than a slap in the face.

"Just get out, House. I never want to see your face ever again." Cuddy said with all the detestation she could assemble.

"Gladly." House answered, took his helmet and rode his bike back to his apartment.

Cuddy sat down in the middle of her living room and broke down. She just wanted him there but she royally screwed thing up.

She sat there contemplating on how much of a failure she's been. She fired him. She fired the most excellent doctor in her hospital over this. Surely House wouldn't think she was serious, would he? Of course he wouldn't. It was House after all.

_She didn't know that House took her seriously. _

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Please let me know what you think…

_Oh and do tell me if I should continue…_

_Thanks for reading! :D_


	3. In Vino Veritas

_**A/N:**_ _**Thanks for the revs! They keep me going!**_

_Thank you for waiting for the update!_

_An intense chapter heading your way after this eye-opener! :D_

_**Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey**_

_**Enjoy! **_

_**

* * *

**_

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 2: In Vino Veritas

_**.**_

_**August 3, 7 am**_

Cuddy sat on her ergonomic chair and sighed deeply. Everything seemed unusually quiet at the hospital. With House on leave for his recovery and her being away for three weeks the hospital might have been a ghost town for all she knew. She had received reports from whom she left the hospital to and was glad it didn't burn to the ground while she was away.

Finally back at work, Cuddy was content to have mountains of paperwork waiting to be filed, signed, and read over to keep her mind off of two things: her miscarriage and House.

She didn't call him to apologize because she had nothing to apologize for. Well, that was what she finally forced herself to believe after half a week's worth of blaming herself for hers and House's fallout.

At first she blamed herself for negating the things he suggested like trying again, adopting, among other things. She was too drunk to have noticed that he was trying to alleviate her mood from sorrowful to crappy. He tried to be what she wanted some other man to be in her case and she failed to acknowledge that he was trying to comfort her and instead pushed him to finally go brutal with honesty.

_Shoot, my fault, _Cuddy thought and she groaned inside her empty office.

Then she blamed herself for shouting at him when he finally albeit brutally told her and let it sink to her soul that what she miscarried wasn't a baby yet nor a fetus; it was just an embryo. She knew what she was getting herself into before she called him but forgot what she should have expected for they were washed away by the alcohol in her system. She blamed herself for calling him at a point where she thought she would be conscious enough to be able to take his brutal verbal lectures and realizations for her ears. She thought she could channel them into more soothing words for herself but she wasn't in a fit mind to do so.

And it all went crashing down.

In vino veritas; in whine there is truth.

She told him that she wanted him to leave her alone, get out of her life, leave her hospital and never show his face to her ever again.

But did she really want him to leave? Did she really not want to see his face ever again? Did she really want him to quit?

The latter was business-centered and the answer was completely obvious. Of course she didn't want him to leave the hospital! He was the hospital's biggest asset and one of the many reasons she had an easy time acquiring donors. She'd be insane to fire him on a whim. And indeed she was insane; insane to fire him over something personal and definitely not work-related.

She shrugged off the firing matter, though. This was House. He knew that she wouldn't have the gall to really fire him. _Ass,_ Cuddy thought.

The two other questions kept confusing her. Both were of personal nature. Business was way off the list. She didn't really want him to leave. Maybe she did at _that_ night because he didn't give her what she wanted and that was utterly embarrassing on her part. She was too drunk that she actually removed her top in front of him and was about to remove her bottom.

He was right. She didn't make herself vulnerable. She made herself available and in order for her to snap out of it, he had to tell her that she was practically whoring herself to him. _Damn the man for being so right all the time, _she cussed.

Cuddy was starting to think that she really had to apologize to House. She never really thought of it over the rest of her leave like she was thinking of their predicament at the moment and that's why she was starting to see things more clearly.

Both of them were at fault but she went too far.

She wanted him to stay at the hospital, she wanted to see his face everyday at work, and she wanted to fix their friendship.

Her heart fluttered though at the thought of House stopping her from making a very regretful mistake. He stopped her from undressing herself in front of him. He stopped her from making things even more complicated than it already were between them.

She initiated that intense kiss they shared. Cuddy unconsciously held her fingers to her lips. She could still feel his lips on hers, his tongue on hers, exploring her mouth. Her heart fluttered more when she remembered him stopping that kiss too. He didn't want to take advantage of her. That was very Houseian for her. She was grateful he stopped her.

House might have wanted her too by the way he kissed her. But he turned human when she wanted more and not the god he others claimed him to be. Not the man who used anything to get what he needed for something he wanted. He genuinely cared about her. He knew she was drunk so he stopped them from adding a second one night stand to their history.

She smiled at the thought. But a part of her, drunk or sober, wanted him still. A part of her always has. A part of her always imagined what it would be like to be in a relationship with House. He was smart, mysterious, unsolvable, fun, a jerk most of the time, but secretively human. She knew he was soft underneath. It was a secret she was proud that only she, and maybe Wilson, knew.

Cuddy was pulled out of her deep thoughts when Brenda knocked on her door. She waved the nurse in and smiled.

"Great to have you back, Dr. Cuddy," Brenda said with a small smile.

"Good to be back," Cuddy answered and reached for the small envelope that the nurse handed her, "Thank you." She said and Brenda exited the room.

Smile still painted on her face, she opened the envelope which had nothing written on it. She pulled the single sheet of paper out of the envelope and unfolded it. What she read made her widen her eyes to see if she wasn't just hallucinating.

House resigned. He really, really resigned. He took her seriously!

But why?!

Cuddy's heart started beating faster. She read the letter for about five times before finally confirming that she wasn't hallucinating. He really quit. He was really leaving her hospital and her life.

She didn't hate him. She wanted him around. She wanted him present in her radar all the time. She wanted his smart-ass remarks and his company. She didn't hate him enough to send him away. She didn't want him leaving her and the hospital. She was more confused than ever upon reading his letter of resignation.

It was evoking feelings she didn't know existed. Either they just bubbled up into the surface or she ignored said feelings many times, she didn't know. She didn't know what to think. Why was she getting paranoid all of a sudden? Maybe because House _really _resigned and there was the slightest possibility that he left. She didn't want to believe that he would leave the state although she wasn't marking it off her list of worst-case scenarios.

Many times she fired him sober and this was the first time he believed her when she fired him with him knowing she was wasted even if she managed to stare him dead in the eye when she recited her words which were full of rage at that time.

It turns out that he also knew about Pliny the Elder's infamous philosophy.

She stood up and folded the letter and put it back on the envelope before getting her bag and quickly walking out of her office. She told her assistant to cancel all her meetings for that day and that she had personal matters to attend to.

She had to go talk to him. For the hospital's sake or her conscience and sanity's sake, she didn't know.

She had to apologize or explain or whatever. She just had to talk to him.

Again.

Apparently, not only was there truth in wine.

There were also lies.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: So… Is House gone? Or is he planning on really going? Will Cuddy be able to reach him in time if he was leaving?

_Lemme know what you think…_

_Rev to find out…_

_Don't forget to follow me on twitter! _

_**New story: In Pursuit of Changes**_


	4. Lies and Truth

_**A/N:**_ _**Thanks for the revs! They keep me going!**_

_I was very happy so I wrote a new chappie right after the new one!_

_Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey_

_**Enjoy! **_

_**

* * *

**_

**ABSENCE**

* * *

_**CHAPTER 3: LIES AND TRUTH**_

_**.**_

"Have you spoken to House?" Cuddy asked Wilson when she opened the door to the Oncologist's office and poked her head in.

"Not since last week," Wilson answered as he finished signing a patient file. Cuddy's brows furrowed more and she pursed her lips, "Okay." She simply said and headed out of Wilson's office leaving him confused but he shrugged it off and continued working on his paperwork.

Cuddy hurried to her red Lexus in the hospital parking lot and drove to House's apartment, hoping as hell that he was there. For about fifteen minutes of driving she was able to reach his apartment. She took a deep breath before getting out of her car and made her way to his apartment door. She knocked gently. No answer. She knocked louder for a few more times and still there was no answer. Her heart was thumping loudly in her chest and she felt like she was going to explode. Maybe he left. Maybe he didn't. She didn't know what to think.

"House," she called out while knocking more urgently on his apartment door.

"Who you looking for, lady?" a little boy with bright green eyes and jet black hair politely asked her from the top of the staircase.

Cuddy turned to look at the kid and she offered a small and nervous smile. "Hi sweetie, do you know if someone's here?" she asked softly.

"Dr. Greg go bye bye," the kid replied. Just then a woman came out of the door and carried the kid which was probably four years old.

"Zach, I told you never to go out and play near the stairs," the woman gently scolded then turned to Cuddy, "Hi, can I help you with something?" the woman asked with a genuine smile.

Cuddy couldn't help but return it and she answered. "Your son told me that Dr. Greg went away. I was wondering if it was true." Cuddy inquired civilly. As calm as her voice was her insides were churning at the thought of him already gone.

"I believe so. He checked Zach once when I asked for help and he was quite nice with children. I've seen him bringing boxes into his apartment the last couple of days but I haven't seen him since then." The woman replied.

"Momma, I want a yummy sandwich," Zach whined.

The woman gave Cuddy an apologetic look and Cuddy just nodded. "Thank you!" she called out.

"No problem at all!" the woman called back.

Cuddy turned to face House's apartment door; Apartment 2-B, to be exact. She turned the knob and was shocked to find it unlocked. Was it already being opened for viewing for interested renters?

She walked inside House's apartment and saw the boxes stacked at one corner of the living room. The place looked deserted. She took a few minutes of observing the room and found it eerily quiet. She didn't believe that he was going. What was worse was that he was probably gone.

"What are you doing here?" an all too familiar voice asked her and she almost jumped out of her skin upon hearing it.

"House!" she gasped both in relief and shock. He didn't go!

On impulse she walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist, rendering him speechless and his body tense.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, her body starting to shake from emotion.

House furrowed his brows. Was she really crying? He inwardly sighed and wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. When his action only made her sob even more he rolled his eyes and rubbed her back soothingly.

"I don't want you to resign, the hospital needs you," she whispered.

"You've made your sentiments perfectly clear, Cuddy," House answered when Cuddy finally released him from her bear hug.

"I was drunk, you knew it!" she defended as she met his eyes. Her eyes were wet with tears and she shamelessly let them stay there.

"You do know that---"

"I know, I know, but it wasn't the truth! At that moment it was because my judgment was clouded, come on, House, you don't seriously believe I'd really fire you," she rambled, grasping at straws, desperate to make him stay.

"Who said I was leaving?" House said with his brow arched.

Cuddy gaped at him, "You're not? But you… The letter…" she stuttered not knowing what to say or how to continue.

"The letter was real." House said.

"But you're not leaving?" she asked him.

"I'm moving to a new apartment," House answered her casually.

All she could do was continue gaping like a fish out of water. "So why did you resign?" she asked him suspiciously.

"Because you wanted me to, Cuddy!" House snapped a little.

"I just told you that I didn't! It was a stupid mistake. I shouldn't have fired you. I said I'm sorry," Cuddy said, her tone varying from frustration to regret.

"What more can sorry do Cuddy?" House asked as he leaned on the wall of his apartment and stared intently at her, watching her every move.

Cuddy's heart had started beating faster again and she kept her gaze down. "Please come back to the hospital, House. I could just rip off your resignation letter and act like last week never happened," she said and finally looked up to meet his eyes.

"From the moment you were here, you were talking about the hospital and you wanting me back there. So I'm really just a hospital asset, not a friend nor anything, right?" House asked her unflappably but deep inside he was hurt. He had time to think things through and a major revelation on his part scared him. He had to do something about it.

Cuddy wanted to say that he was more than that but her damned pride wouldn't allow her to reveal that much. She inwardly sighed. She brought herself into this mess; she had to bring herself out.

"I don't want you to go," she admitted, meeting his eyes for a split-second before severing the connection.

"So why the hell did you kiss me again?" House joked with a small smile that Cuddy couldn't help but return. It was his way of saying they were… cool.

"You were in my face, I was drunk---"

"So you have the hots for me," House said, it was getting really fun seeing her blush profusely in front of him.

"I was drunk!" Cuddy argued with an incredulous smile that she couldn't wipe off even if her life depended on it.

"Why are you smiling?" House asked her, amused. It was fun though that their conversation turned from serious to light to serious again and now they were arguing like old times.

"You're frustrating!" Cuddy exclaimed. She hated to admit it but she enjoyed being like this with him.

"So you really want me back at the hospital and you still want to see my face there?" House asked her in a low voice as he looked at her.

Cuddy smiled and replied dryly, "As much as it pains me to hear you demanding insane procedures, yes, House I want you there." She said, touching his arm lightly.

"Please?" she pleaded softly and gazed into his piercing blue orbs.

House nodded, "Okay." He answered softly.

"Thank you," Cuddy replied with a soft smile.

"Don't I get a kiss for that?" House teased. He would never admit it to anyone that the kiss they shared that night was still tattooed on his lips. It wasn't just a kiss. It was more than that, and it scared him.

"Ha-ha…" Cuddy replied dryly but turned the side of his face with a hand and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She was laughing internally as shock registered across House's face.

"Dinner tonight at my place," she said with a shy smile. "For reconciliation, I owe you. Goodbye House." Cuddy said, not waiting for a reply. She walked out of his apartment happy that House will be staying.

"Goodbye Cuddy," House whispered when he heard his apartment door close.

House walked to his phone and took it from its cradle and dialed the Olympic Airporter Shuttle Services.

"Yeah, I reserved for a shuttle…"

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: *gasps*Where in the world is House going?

_Don't forget to leave a review…_


	5. Run

_**A/N:**_ Update!

Please let me know if you're still interested… Absence has gotten fewer and fewer revs over the last two chapters… And yes, I do know the last two were slightly redundant.

Anyways, I hope you like this installment!

_**Enjoy! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 4: RUN

_**.**_

"Wilson, are you busy tonight?" Cuddy asked him over the phone. She went home and was planning on taking a shower so she didn't look like she cried a river earlier at House's place. She was glad though that he wasn't really leaving. She didn't think she would be able to handle him gone.

"Not at all, is anything wrong?" Wilson answered.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to invite you over for dinner at my place tonight around seven. Are you free? If you are you can pick House up from his apartment," Cuddy said in a somewhat cheerful tone.

Am I in trouble or something? And House? Wow!" Wilson said jokily and answered with a chuckle.

"So?"

"Yeah, that would be… interesting." Wilson answered with a laugh at the last word for lack of a better one.

"Great!" Cuddy answered and Wilson was sure he could see her smiling on the other line, "See you later Wilson!"

"See you. Wait, you sure House is coming? I mean it _is_ House, you know." Wilson said.

"He'll come, don't worry about it. Just haul his stubborn ass over my place tonight if he has second thoughts," Cuddy said confidently.

Wilson was positive that he probably have never heard her so excited about seeing House and he was wondering if something happened between the two. Well probably he'll get the inside scoop that night.

"If you say so," Wilson answered.

"I do, bye Wilson." Cuddy said and hung up. After the call she showered and let her bloodshot eyes mellow a bit before she headed back to the hospital to at least catch up on some paperwork.

_**

* * *

**_

Apt. 2-B, 7 pm

"House!" Wilson called out after having knocked more than a dozen times at least. He tried looking for the spare key where he knew it was hidden but didn't find it. After having tried for a few more minutes, Wilson finally decided to knock at House's landlord's apartment.

"Yes?" The old man asked when he opened the door.

"Hi, good evening, I'm James Wilson, I wanted to talk to the landlord about a friend staying at 2-B?" Wilson inquired politely.

The old man gave Wilson a confused look. "I'm his landlord, Charles Hanes. Dr. House is your friend? Well, he must be some great friend if he didn't tell you that he was leaving today." Charles answered sarcastically in a gentle tone.

"What? Excuse me, but I don't think I heard you clearly. Did you just say that House left today?" Wilson asked, swallowing a lump that seemed to form in his throat. He wanted to shout but was being mindful that he was still talking to someone older than him and probably just senile.

The old man nodded. "A few hours ago, although he did leave something for a woman; Lisa Cuddy, I believe was her name if I remembered correctly."

"He left for some country. He didn't mention, though," Charles added.

Wilson was stunned speechless. Everybody lies. House amazingly just did. Why didn't his best friend tell him that he was leaving? _Oh god, Cuddy, _Wilson thought.

"Are you okay?" Charles asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Wilson nodded slowly.

"Um, can I get what he left? I know the woman. She's a close friend and my boss," Wilson said.

The man believed him and told him to wait. The man retrieved the package from some part of his apartment before reappearing in front of him. "Here," the man said, handing a Manila envelope.

"Thank you," Wilson answered. The man gave him an apologetic look and went back to his apartment.

Wilson made his way to his silver Volvo and stared at the envelope on his lap. House would never leave without a very deep and serious reason. That particular reason was surely inside the envelope since even he, House's best friend, didn't even know anything.

Deducing, surely Cuddy was a huge part of that reason. Wilson slowly opened the envelope and found files, a long letter, and two CD. Ignoring the letter and CDs, Wilson took out the files.

What he read when he finished comparing the two files gave him the biggest shock of his life. It was virtually impossible! House couldn't have possibly done it. And since it failed, the consequences and risks outweighed the benefits.

"God, House," Wilson murmured. He slumped back on his car seat and ran a hand to his face.

House ran away. He knew Cuddy wouldn't forgive him. Cuddy wouldn't be able to look at him without remembering everything that had happened. After what he did, he couldn't take the guilt. So he ran away. He usually did by deflection and sarcasm. But now, he physically and literally ran away.

Wilson thought the file was more than a lot to take in a day but he had to read the letter. His good side and guilty conscience stopped him from doing so, though. Cuddy deserved to be the only one to read the letter which possibly contained House's explanation.

He made a crucial split-second decision to hide it from Cuddy. To hide what House left meant to hide the reason why he did and what he did. Cuddy won't be able to take it. It would only make things more difficult and complicated than they already were. He knew Cuddy had a right to know but Wilson was dead-set on protecting Cuddy from the hurt, and protecting House from whatever reason he couldn't place his finger on at that moment.

Lost in his thoughts, Wilson was pulled out of them when his phone started to ring. When he thought things couldn't get any worse, Cuddy was the one calling him.

"Where the hell are you two?" Cuddy asked annoyed.

"Cuddy…  
Wilson started, his voice a blend of hurt, concern, hesitance, and betrayal.

"Is anything wrong? Where are you two?" Cuddy asked, her voice calm but with an undertone of concern and worry.

"House… he… Oh god, how do I tell you this?" Wilson asked him self audibly.

"Wilson, what the hell is going on?!" Cuddy demanded, Wilson mentioned House and that was why she was starting to get more nervous by the second because Wilson couldn't seem to find the right words to break the news about something seemingly important.

"Cuddy, House isn't at home," Wilson finally spoke.

"You idiot! You had me scare for nothing!" Cuddy exclaimed on the other line.

"He left, Cuddy," Wilson said sadly.

"What do you mean he left?!" Cuddy asked him incredulously.

"His landlord told me that he left today," Wilson replied. He heard Cuddy gasp and was cursing himself for telling her over the phone.

"God… He… He told me he won't go," Cuddy whispered, unable to continue speaking so she trailed off. She was in utter disappointment and disbelief.

Wilson furrowed his brows, "I'll be right over in a few minutes. Lisa, are you okay?" he asked her in concern.

"No.." Cuddy answered grief evident in her voice.

House left.

* * *

It was cowardice. House left because he was afraid, afraid of telling Cuddy the truth face to face. He knew it would devastate her and he couldn't see her crumble down because of him. He felt too much for her that he wouldn't admit. So he wrote her a letter instead and wrote the truth, revealing the lies and the reason he ran away and left everything he lived for; his job with his puzzles and his Cuddy.

He was a coward and boy did he know it. He took a sip from his drink and leaned back on his seat, staring out of the window, sighing deeply as he saw the fluffy clouds seemingly within reach. He closed his eyes ad tried to sleep.

Canada wasn't that far.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Why did House leave? Any guesses?

_**Please leave a review… **_


	6. Escape

_**A/N:**_ I love this story! I love the revs too! Please keep 'em coming! :)

Btw, some good news, by next week, I might be updating faster than I have been this past few weeks. Finals are over by Monday! Yay!

_**FIC SPOILERS AT THE LAST PART… DON'T FORGET TO READ 'EM. **_

_**Enjoy! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 5: ESCAPE

.

"Are you okay?" Wilson asked Cuddy when she opened the door for him. He was fairly certain she cried. It was evident in her eyes which were already bloodshot.

"Is it really true or were you just messing with me and that this is just some insane joke?" Cuddy asked, pleading for it to be the latter.

Wilson hung his head low. "He really left, Cuddy. I'm sorry." He answered in a low voice.

"Where did he go?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he answered.

"What did the landlord say?" she asked.

"Off to some other country. He didn't know where," he told her sadly.

"Do you need anything?" Wilson asked her. Cuddy needed someone at that moment and he couldn't just leave her alone.

Cuddy shook her head no.

"Have you eaten?" he asked her again. He didn't know he was being a little annoying.

"Can you just go home now, please?" Cuddy pleaded gently. She wanted to be alone.

Wilson nodded, "Call me if you need someone to talk to or if you need anything at all, okay?" he said and then squeezed her arm before he turned and left her house.

Cuddy sighed and tried to compose herself. Crying won't bring House back, she thought.

She returned everything she put out for the dinner they were supposed to have and put everything she prepared in plastic containers and stored them inside her fridge. She wasn't in the mood to eat.

The question as to why House left was eating at her and she didn't know what to think. Neither did she know where to start thinking.

She retreated to the comfort of her bathroom and ran the water, she wanted to try and relax her exhausted body and mind. All the drama was tiring. She hated it.

She chuckled when she thought she'd never thought that she would actually be desperate for House's witty comments and even his insults.

It's been only hours since she held him in her arms, feeling his warmth, hearing his heart beating near her ear. Recalling the events of the earlier day she felt that he was still hugging her back and trying to soothe her.

She shook her head. He lied to her. He hurt her.

She just had to move on and move forward.

_Easier said than done, _her heart told her.

_**

* * *

**_

Wilson's apartment, 9 pm

He's been staring at the letter House left for Cuddy, deciding on whether to really read it or not. A side of him wanted to know what was there and the other side wanted him to respect Cuddy and House's privacy. It was their business, not any of his at all.

The side that told him to open the letter and read it won with the reason that he had to know how to be able to control things while House was gone. And at least he knew what the reasons for House leaving really were.

He hasn't gotten over what the two files contained and at that moment he was about to look at something very private. He reached for the letter, hesitantly opened it slowly and read as fast as he could.

Once again, House never ceased to surprise him. He didn't mind the other words, sentences, and paragraphs in the letter. What caught his attention were three little words that weighed so heavy. Words House probably has never said before since Stacy.

_I love you._

He loves Cuddy. And yet, he left her. Guilt, regret, and failure with him, he left. Possibly he brought his love with him but he still left.

Wilson was the bearer of the light. He could either make or break the two. But the difficult part was, how does he fix two people who were probably too broken to fix? He had no idea where House was. No one probably did. He could contact the airlines and ask where House went under false pretenses but he needed a lot of luck with that. Confidentiality issues.

He sighed heavily and slumped back on his couch. Why did things go this far?

_Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause,_ House's words. Too bad House chose that time not to follow his own words.

Wilson was at a crossroads and he decided to delay having Cuddy discover the letter. It was too early for her to find out. They were scalding hot forces at the present and if the two of them clashed, it will all end in vain.

He knew keeping everything from Cuddy was just wrong but he felt that it was better for Cuddy not to see anything that House left for her.

_**

* * *

**_

Fairmont Hotel Vancouver Bar, Vancouver, Canada

After his almost six hours flight, House was drinking at the bar of the hotel he was currently staying at. He was listening to the Jazz band playing very well at the center stage of the bar and he let his thoughts drift away.

He escaped from what he feared- again. But this time, he escaped physically, not mentally. He loved- loves- Cuddy but he thought that after what he did, she won't be able to accept him. He didn't know why he was making a big deal out of it. It's not like she would ever find out unless she started noticing things. And she won't. That was a fact.

He had to find something to distract him. Pills and alcohol weren't included in his options. He wanted to continue PT, he wanted to start anew. He didn't want to change but change was inevitable.

He decided to find a new job sometime that week. Good thing he knew someone who knew a Dean of Medicine at Vancouver. Maybe he could call that guy and ask for a favor.

Another thing he had to ponder on was whether he should look for a new apartment or just buy a residential unit on some hotel at the area.

When he finally felt too tired, he went to his room and laid on the bed. He couldn't keep his mind off _her. _He couldn't keep his mind off her eyes, her lips, everything about her. It's been just a few hours since he saw her last and he was already missing her. Missing how her arms wrapped around his waist like she'd never let go.

He suddenly remembered Wilson. Wilson, his best friend, the one he should have told everything to, was left in Princeton, not knowing where in the world he was. House knew he somewhat betrayed Wilson, but he also knew that if he did tell Wilson everything, Wilson would _then _tell Cuddy everything, which still ruin everything in the end.

How could he have screwed up this bad? His father was right. He was never worth anything. He didn't know how lucky he was until he lost everything he had and wanted.

Wilson would be furious when he found out that he left, House was sure. He left his phone turned off, not risking anyone from Princeton calling him and knowing where he was.

If there was a God, he'd be praying like hell that Cuddy didn't find out where he was soon because that letter surely was to be the death of him, or the start of something better if Cuddy forgave him.

He sighed deeply, staring off into space.

Only time would tell.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

_I'm pretty sure you guys would have been able to figure out what the big secret is? Lol… If not, you'll eventually either find out or figure it out…_

_**Please leave a review…**_

* * *

_**Next chap spoilers:::**_

New character/s for next chappie and a little fun to cheer House up a bit. Less Cuddy and Wilson next chap.

House starts working again at a new hospital.

_**Next, next chap spoiler:**_

A teeny, weensy time jump… And Cuddy MIGHT finally find out what the files contain, what the CDs have in them, and what the letter says…

_Excited? I know I am… :D_


	7. New Scenery

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Public places mentioned are also not mine and neither are the establishments. The hospital mentioned is entirely fiction.**_

_**A/N:**_ Thank you for the revs last chap! :D I'm totally done procrastinating! Yay! Breaking Walls update tomorrow.

Closet readers please lemme know what you think.

I hope the length and entirety of the chap was worth the wait! :D

_**OCs will be introduced in this chapter…**_

_**Enjoy! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 6: NEW SCENERY

_**.**_

_**Aug. 24, Cuddy's office**_

Cuddy waved Wilson in after hearing him knock.

"How are you doing?" Wilson asked her. He felt the need to keep her on her toes since he was the closest person to her other than House. The three of them always looked after one another.

"I'm fine," Cuddy said too quickly. She instantly lowered her head back to the paperwork she was going over.

"You've been going home late for the last three weeks. I know it's hard—"

"You have no idea Wilson." Cuddy said, still not looking at him.

"I've been trying to get in touch with people I know who know him. I have no good news to offer, I'm sorry. Maybe he just doesn't want to be found?" Wilson said softly, not wanting her to lash out on him.

"He's a bastard." Cuddy said.

"Cuddy, do you need someone to talk to?" Wilson asked her in the same tone he used.

Cuddy met his eyes and he was surprised at how void of any emotion her face was. She was good at being professional. Too good at it, in fact. "If I did I'd come to you Wilson. If you'd excuse me, I want to get some work done." She said, leaving him no room for any response.

"Okay. You know where you'll find me," Wilson said. Cuddy nodded and went back to work.

When Wilson was about to reach for the handle on her office door Cuddy suddenly spoke and it made him feel bad for her. She was trying to be strong. He knew she'll get over it but the wounds were still fresh. She was betrayed after all. If only he could alleviate her suffering but he couldn't. The articles he held would crush her instead of healing her.

"I miss him," Cuddy admitted, her head hung low.

"Me too," Wilson said as he made his way to her desk and put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed her gently, offering some comfort.

Given the chance to talk to House again, Wilson swore he'll have his best friend's head or balls or both.

_**

* * *

**_

Aug. 24, Vancouver British Columbia Teaching Hospital, 1 pm

House got off the cab and looked at the big hospital in front of him: Vancouver British Columbia Teaching Hospital. It was almost the same size as Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. If not, it was a tad bigger.

It struck House that it did not offer the homey feel that he had been used to for many years. Not that he ever verbally acknowledged PPTH as a huge part of him.

He figured he'd been moping for far too long and it left him even more miserable. Instead of drinking his brains out he decided to contact his friend and was able to get in touch of the Dean's secretary and have an appointment scheduled. That's what he did a week ago along with getting a new condo unit for rent over the internet. He spent another week for finishing up paperwork left for his stay at Canada; temporarily. Having loads of connections was really helpful. But he made sure to pick the people he went to in fear of Wilson or Cuddy finding out where he was so early.

One thing was for sure; Canada wasn't really where he belonged.

House walked into the hospital and asked for directions to the Dean's office. The receptionist pointed to her right and House fought off a scoff at the receptionists face. He mentally kicked himself for not looking before asking.

He headed to the office which had Lexi Blair, M.D. and Dean of Medicine underneath it on the glass door. He made his way in and was met with a desk to his left side which obviously belonged to a secretary. He was surprised to see an attractive woman who was well in her early twenties.

"Good afternoon, I'm Carmen, do you have an appointment with Dr. Blair?" the woman politely asked him with a small smile.

For the second time that day House tried hard not to scoff nor smirk at the woman. "I'm her two o'clock, Dr. Gregory House," he answered.

Carmen nodded and pressed a button on the phone to connect her to her boss. "Dr. Blair, Dr. House has arrived, should I send him in now?" she asked and hung up after receiving a quick approval. Carmen looked at House and gestured her hand for him to enter the office.

House entered Blair's office and was more than surprised to see a tall and slim woman who he assumed was in her mid thirties. She was attractive—well, she was beautiful with her oblong-shaped face, eye-catching cheekbones, and porcelain skin. Her hair was dark brown which reminded him of Cuddy. But Blair's hair was straight and layered to perfection. Her nose was slender and not too pointy. He was still too far from her for him to see her eyes' color but based on his quick assessment, she was most definitely hot.

He was a very quick observer and has had the pleasure of assessing her the moment he saw her after he opened the door and walked towards the chair in front of her Oak desk.

"Dr. House, I'm--"Blair started but House cut her off in an instant. House hated formalities.

"Dr. Lexi Blair, Dean of Medicine and hospital administrator. It was on the entrance of your office. And it'd be impolite to not know who I've scheduled an appointment with!" House said with little sarcasm and met her eyes. He was shocked to see that they were a shade lighter than Cuddy's and were almost like his. But Blair's eyes were much livelier than his or Cuddy's. Maybe because she didn't have too much drama to deal with in life, House thought.

"Nice to finally meet you Dr. House," Blair said with an amused smile as she extended her hand out to him.

House was momentarily stunned. If it were Cuddy he was talking to, she would have thrown a witty retort or scolded him for his manners or lack thereof. He reached forward and shook her hand which was so soft he could have mistaken it for a baby's skin. He also got a little close up on her cleavage. They were a great sight to behold but Blair's were nothing compared to Cuddy's. Although House had to admit that her derrière was a little bustier than Cuddy's with her height. She was possibly 5'7" and 5'10" with her heels.

"Dr. House," Blair said and looked down at House's hand which was still gripping hers.

House let go and acted as if nothing happened. Well nothing did, he just didn't want her to think that he was checking her out too much. Well, that and comparing every little thing he saw with Cuddy. He just couldn't stop thinking about her to save his own ass.

"Please sit, would you want some coffee?" Blair asked him ignoring how he looked at her just seconds ago. She actually found him mysterious just as the others told her. So far she hasn't seen the sarcastic, snarky, and cantankerous side of the man yet and she didn't think she'd like to see it. But she was never one to pass up a challenge.

House nodded and Blair just looked at Carmen who then nodded in return. Carmen dialed a number on the phone and placed an order over the phone. Apparently they had contact and business with the Starbuck's beside the hospital.

"Résumé," House said as he placed a Manila folder on top of Blair's desk. He raised a brow when she just put it aside, folded her hands on top of the desk and looked at him with a poker face.

"You won't read it?" House asked with a small smirk as he leaned back on the chair.

"I don't have to read it, Dr. House. Your reputation is widely known in the field. Well, your reputation of being other stuff too," Blair said with a shrug.

"Then what do you want us to talk about?" House asked her.

"Why you left Princeton," Blair said nonchalantly, staring him down with a blank face.

House diverted his gaze, "Personal reasons." He said with a slightly gruff voice.

"I see. Have your documents and everything else been fixed so we'll have no problems?" she asked. House nodded.

"Okay. Dr. House, you do realize we don't have a diagnostic department here, right?" Blair started.

"Straight to the point please," House ushered with his hands as he met her eyes again.

"I'd put up one for you if you'd abide by the board and my conditions," Blair told him.

House rolled his eyes, "Of course."

A knock at the door suddenly put a pause to their conversation. Blair waved Carmen in and the woman entered with two Tall Starbuck's coffees and handed them a cup each.

"Thank you," Blair said with a small smile at Carmen. House just nodded in regard.

"It's going to take at least a month to get everything done; the paperwork, the office, among other things. I've also heard you need a team to function?" Blair more likely stated than asked.

"At least two to three people," House said.

"I'll let you get three." Blair answered nonchalantly.

"Wow, you haven't hired me yet and I'm already spoiled!" House said in feigned excitement.

"Nice," Blair said and clicked her tongue. "I'm going to be gathering résumés and hand them over to you by the end of the week and you look them over. So, any preferences?" she asked him.

"So, you already gave me a job and my own department, just like that?" House asked, a little confused but surprised nonetheless.

Blair smiled and nodded. "It's actually a win-win situation Dr. House. You get a job and your own department and I get more donors in the mention of your name alone. I also get seminars. It's fun actually, don't you think?" she said slyly.

"So it turns out that you'll be using my name then?" House asked, feigning hurt by placing a hand on his chest.

"You get something, I get something in return. It's pretty fair. No one gets cheated long as you do what I say without me having to force you to do your job." Blair shrugged but her voice was firm.

House grinned mischievously at her. "If I must say, you have a pretty good source," he complimented. "Anyone I know?" he asked with an innocent look.

"I won't tell but it's the "friend" you had me talk with," she said with matching air quotes. "I guess I won't be looking at your résumé but I will have to call for references." She said, going back to her business tone.

House shook his head. "No references." He said sternly.

Blair frowned and furrowed her brow at him. "Why?" she asked.

"None of your business," House told her, his walls high up.

"Well, if you'll be working for me, it is my business because I need references," Blair said in a warning voice.

"Well, if you want me in your hospital at all, I suggest you don't ask for references. Ask me for anything else but if you dare ask for references from Princeton I guarantee you that this is the last you'll see of me in this hospital and this country." House said in a slightly intimidating and challenging voice.

Blair's face remained stoic but she was internally fighting a battle. She had two choices, pry or leave him be. It was obviously very personal but she had to do her job. She suddenly thought about why she actually needed his references when she practically knew a lot of things about the man already. She mentally shrugged. Well, if she lets him off the hook she should at least get something in return, right?

"Okay, no references but you have to give me something in return." She said and leaned forward on the desk and looked at him seriously.

House raised an eyebrow but resigned. He had no choice. "What do you want?" he asked her.

"I want an International Seminar. You'll speak, as well as other renowned diagnosticians in different countries. Wait, I'll make it an International Diagnostic and Oncology Seminar. What do you think?" she asked him with a girly smile. Obviously she was giddy about having to plan something that would have her hospital swimming in Canadian Dollars because it means expansions and more improvements. House internally rolled his eyes. Just like Cuddy. Only difference was he never gave in to Cuddy's demands of him speaking at a seminar that much unless he was very much needed or it interested him.

"I think it sucks. I don't have a choice at all, do I?" House answered rhetorically.

"Nope," she answered him happily.

"Blair witch," House muttered.

"Ahuh… Not even a day we're already getting cozy with pet names?" Blair teased. She felt comfortable with the ass and it was actually a nice feeling. It felt like she won't have any problems with the man.

"You're actually screwed up, aren't you?" House asked only half-joking.

"Depends on your definition of being screwed up, House," Blair shot back.

"Please tell my secretary via phone the preferences you want regarding your new team and I'll be the one scouring for your new minions," she added.

"So there'll be no clinic duty for me?" House asked with a wide grin.

"No, unless you want some," Blair said.

"Hell no!" House answered at once.

"If you say so, but you get clinic duty EVERY time you disobey me and my hospital's regulations." Blair warned him. House having no choice, nodded in return. At least he had no clinic duty to begin with. But he doubted that he won't break any of her rules from the first day he'll work at the hospital.

"I'll give you a tour of the hospital sometime this or next week, depending on my schedule. I'll let Carmen give you a call." Blair said.

"Welcome to VBCTH, Dr. House," Blair said as she stood up and once again extended her hand to House in welcoming.

"Thank you," House answered sincerely.

Blair smiled genuinely at him and sat back down on her chair.

"Oh and Dr. House…" she started with an innocent tone.

House turned back to look at her.

"I've heard about your obsessive need to barge in your boss' office demanding for insane procedures. I'd prefer you come to me with civility because I won't hesitate to dial for that reference you're so afraid of having me call. Are we understood?" Blair said with an eyebrow arched and her face dead-serious. She respected his need to protect his privacy but she wouldn't hesitate to use it against him if he didn't respect her authority.

Okay, innocent she wasn't. Damn, the woman was a subtle genius, House thought. House nodded.

"It was nice meeting you. Have a safe trip home, Dr. House," Blair said with a victorious smile. Damn, doing research in advance was nice, she thought.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: So… Whatcha guys think about Dr. Lexi Blair? Hope you don't kill her. Oh and do you want Wilson to get in contact with House at some time? Or want me to just surprise you with stuff?

_Let me know what you guys think and if you guys are still with me…_

_**Please leave a rev :D**_

_**Next chap spoiler:**_

_Another teensy, weensy time jump… And Cuddy MIGHT finally find out what the files contain, what the CDs have in them, and what the letter says…_

_Excited? I know I am… :D_


	8. Discoveries

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Public places mentioned are also not mine and neither are the establishments. The hospital mentioned is entirely fiction.**_

_**A/N:**_ Hey guys! Still there? :D This chap is going to be fairly long, I hope you guys don't mind. I think I owe you guys a long chap for the lag in updates…

This chap is mostly Cuddy…

House's letter was a bit of a challenge to write… Hopefully it wasn't too OC and OOC at the same time. :D

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

**CHAPTER 7: DISCOVERIES**

_**.**_

_**October 25**_

It's been two months and she never heard any news about House. Not a single sighting which meant he really wasn't in the area. He was due back at the hospital mid-September but he didn't show up either.

_Of course he didn't. He left for good. _Cuddy thought.

She's contacted every dean, head, and chancellor she knew in the country and asked them about House, of course, under false pretenses, but didn't get any positive feedback. The rumor mill had gone wild the second week that House still wasn't in the establishment wreaking chaos. From Wilson's report, there were bets going on about his absence.

The hospital has been running like a well oiled machine despite her personal problems. Just because she had problems it didn't mean she should let her hospital, and according to House, her baby, get into trouble and fall apart. She wouldn't let the only thing holding her up now to be taken away from her.

God, she missed House. Things were too quiet. It was also a little surprising that Wilson haven't been too annoying anymore—not like she wanted to be annoyed—and asking her all the time how she was doing and if she was okay.

She's okay, she's fine. She was getting used to House not being there. But that didn't mean that she didn't miss him. It didn't mean she never thought about him multiple times a day and wondering where he was and what he was doing, if he was doing fine. Or… who he was with.

Cliché as it is, it's in fact true. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

She's been so used to seeing him almost every day, arguing with him, finding comfort in his unconventional way of comforting that she still couldn't get over his absence easily. Yes, she's been getting used to him not being around physically, but he was still under her skin, lurking. He was still in her thoughts. He was still in her heart.

What she'd give to hear his voice again or see him. What she'd give to have his arms around her again like the last time. She never thought that that one intense argument they had before would have this effect on them. But what's done is done. She can't undo the past. House's gone, she has to move on. And she is, she tells herself, slowly.

A sudden thought entered her mind while she was staring at the oversized tennis ball in front of her. She took his tennis ball from his office; she was actually surprised he forgot to take it. Or maybe he had a spare, she suddenly chuckled in thought.

Were his things out of his apartment by now? Maybe he had them brought to his parent's house, or not. How would she know? She hasn't spoken to anyone regarding yet.

As if luck was on her side, Wilson interrupted her thoughts by knocking on her office door. She waved him in and he offered her a small smile which she returned half-heartedly.

"Need anything?" she asked him.

"I see you snatched a memoir from his office," Wilson said with the same small smile and pointed to House's red and grey oversized tennis ball.

"Finders keepers," Cuddy said with a grin, "So, needed anything?"

Wilson's face turned serious when Cuddy asked again. He took a seat in front of her desk and looked at her. "He should have been here weeks ago, Cuddy. He won't be coming back. We have to tell his team. They're starting to snoop around. You have to tell them soon enough."

Cuddy pursed her lips. "I don't know if I could close the department, though I should." She stated. She wanted to keep it open so she could at least somehow feel him near. She looked at Wilson hopefully, "You think Foreman would be able to handle the position?" she asked him.

"I don't know. You shouldn't be discussing that with me. Discuss it with Foreman." Wilson told her.

Cuddy nodded, "I'll talk to him about it soon and tell the team about House."

She suddenly remembered what she wanted to ask him so she leaned back on her chair and looked at Wilson again. "By any chance, do you think House's things are still in his apartment?" she asked.

Wilson stilled. Cuddy noticed. Cuddy arched brow. Wilson knew something she didn't.

"You're hiding something," Cuddy assumed.

Wilson quickly covered, "Why would I be hiding something?" he innocently asked her.

If Cuddy hadn't known him for years she would've believed he was innocent, but she did know him. He knew something she didn't. Since it was regarding House, she had to know. By hook or by crook she'll force it out of him.

"Spill or else I'll cut you with the nearest sharp object," she threatened, her eyes menacing and her hand reaching for the letter opener.

Wilson stood his ground and pretended he knew nothing. "Nothing, there's nothing about House I know that you don't," he told her believably. Thankfully, Cuddy seemed to believe it.

Cuddy replaced the letter opener, "Okay." She said.

"That's it?" Wilson asked with a curious gaze, his thick brows furrowed. She was up to something but her face revealed no plans.

"Yes. I believe you. Thanks for the heads up on his team. You may go now," she told him nonchalantly, even managing a smile.

Wilson narrowed his eyes at her one last time before exiting her office.

Cuddy checked the time and found out that she had an hour left before she headed home. She decided to go to House's apartment and talk to his landlord for information since he was the one Wilson talked to before. She'll head there directly after work.

_**

* * *

**_

House's apartment building, 5:30 pm

Cuddy knocked on the door of the woman she asked about House before. She had no idea what unit the landlord was staying at.

"Hi," she greeted.

"Oh hi, how can I help you?" the lady asked her.

"Hello," the little kid, Zach, if Cuddy remembered his name correctly, greeted her with jolly green eyes and a wide smile.

"Hi, you're bigger than the last time I saw you," Cuddy greeted back with a genuine smile. Who could resist such a cute kid?

Zach smiled in return before waving and retreating to the apartment.

"I was wondering if you could direct me to the landlord's unit. I wanted to ask about some stuff," Cuddy said.

The woman told her the unit and Cuddy thanked her and made her way to the landlord's unit.

She knocked three times and waited for someone to answer.

"May I help you?" the old man asked her.

"Hi, I'm Lisa Cuddy, I work with Dr. House who used to stay at 2-B," Cuddy greeted with a sincere smile and shook the man's hand.

"I'm his landlord, Charles Hanes," the man said with a comforting voice.

"I was wondering if House's things were already moved or if they're still there?" Cuddy asked.

"They've already been moved two weeks ago," Hanes said. "Moved to his parents' place." He added.

Cuddy frowned, "Oh. Thanks anyway. It was nice meeting you Mr. Hanes." She said and was about to turn away but was stopped by the man's voice.

"I was wondering. Did you get what he left for you?" Hanes asked her.

Cuddy furrowed her brows, confused.

"Did Dr. Wilson give you something? I mean, you do know a Dr. Wilson, right? He told me he works for you," Hanes said visibly confused.

"House… left something for me?" she asked Hanes, shocked.

"I gave it to Dr. Wilson," he said nodding.

"Thank you," Cuddy said and shook the man's hand again as she hurried to her car. So Wilson really was hiding something from her!

_**

* * *

**_

**Wilson's condo unit, 6:20 pm**

"Where is it?" Cuddy hissed when Wilson opened the door for her. She was fuming. Wilson opened the door wider for her to enter before closing it again. Cuddy turned to look at him, her eyes a menacing haze.

"Almost three months Wilson, three months! You've hidden this from me!" Cuddy said in an outraged tone.

Wilson remained composed, "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, Cuddy." He lied. He knew what she came there for. But how did she know? He sighed inwardly upon realization. She went to House's apartment and probably spoke to the landlord.

Cuddy slapped him hard, "How dare you keep it from me?! How could you lie to me?!" she yelled at him. She felt so betrayed and hurt.

"Cuddy, I'm trying to protect you," Wilson reasoned. He deserved that slap in the face, he thought. He didn't even held on to it though it hurt so much and he swore her palm was imprinted on his cheek.

Cuddy scoffed at him without humor, "Protecting me? From what?! From House?! He went away without so much as a goodbye, you knew how I felt about it and you made me believe for almost three months that he didn't leave anything at all! What are you protecting me for?!" Cuddy spat at him. She was livid.

Wilson stood his ground, "I'm sorry Cuddy but I'm not giving it to you for your own good," he said. He knows how the things House left would affect her and he wanted to save her the pain of knowing.

Ignorance is bliss with the information enclosed in that envelope.

About to slap him again he held her wrists gently and pushed it down.

"Wilson, give the envelope to me now and I will not call my lawyer and fire you from my hospital," she warned, "It was for me Wilson, and you had no say in the matter. He left something for me and you made me believe he didn't." she sobbed, no longer mad but utterly frustrated with him and his betrayal.

Wilson sighed and ran a hand through his hair down to the back of his neck. Her actions right now more than confirmed how devastated she'll be if she found out what he's been keeping her from all this time.

"Cuddy, they're too emotional for—"

He was cut off by another slap on his face. Realizing he read what she has not made her anger rise again, "You read it?! You son-of-a-bitch! Give it to me now!" Cuddy demanded.

Wilson gave in with a sigh as he rubbed his cheek with his hand. "At least let me be near you if you read it." He practically begged.

Cuddy shot him a dark glare laced with disbelief, "You expect me to trust you after this? Just give me what he left now, Wilson." She told him icily.

"Cuddy—"

"Give it to me now!" Cuddy said through gritted teeth.

Wilson had no choice. He went to his room and unlocked the vault where he kept all his valuables. He extracted the envelope from it. He was contemplating on getting out the two files but Cuddy was standing in the doorway and what were in the files were also in the letter so there was no point in doing so.

"I really think—"

Cuddy shook her head exasperatedly, "You shouldn't." she snapped at him and walked away and exited his condo as fast she could.

Wilson didn't say sorry. He wasn't sorry he hid it. He only hoped as hell that Cuddy would be able to handle the information she'll get; the discoveries and revelations that will unfold before her eyes.

_**

* * *

**_

Cuddy's house, 7:30 pm

Cuddy drove home as swiftly as the law allowed her. She got ready for bed, not remembering the files she brought home nor what she had left to do. All she had in mind was what the envelope House left her contained.

What was so important about it that Wilson dared hide it from her for almost three months?

She got in bed after making sure she locked up. It was already eight in the evening, she didn't bother having dinner. She had to know everything Wilson hid from her.

She sat there in bed, her legs sprawled out and her back resting against her big soft pillow and stared at the envelope.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and took hold of the envelope, opening it with utmost care. She eased its contents out and laid them in front of her. She saw two sets of files, CDs, and a single paper which she believed was a letter. She put aside the CDs and took the first two files and looked at them. She got confused seeing her chosen sperm donor's file in her hands. She didn't read through it and cast it aside as she didn't find it the least bit relevant to the reason why House left.

Cuddy skipped to the next set of files and was even more confused, furrowing her brows, when she then saw House's files. Sperm count and all, much like her sperm donor's files.

"Why would he—" she started in an utterly puzzled murmur but instantly froze when a thought made itself known to her mind.

_Oh God, no… no… _Cuddy chanted in her mind as she separated the files and put them side to side for comparison. Tears started running down her cheeks in fear, hurt, and a ship full of emotions raging through her system. She wiped her tears away when her vision blurred from them.

Cuddy chocked out an anguished sob and a tear fell as if mockingly on House's printed name when she finished reading and comparing the files. They were exactly the same sans the Donor's name. She heavily leaned back on top of her pillows and stared at the ceiling whilst tears mapped her face.

House was her sperm donor.

And she didn't know about it… until now.

Why was she crying so hard? Didn't she want to ask him to be her donor back then?

Sitting up she stared at the files again. She should be mad at him, enraged even. How could he have gone behind her back and do that?!

She miscarried… months ago. And she didn't know… didn't have the slightest idea… that she miscarried House's child. _Their _child.

Sobs racked her body and she covered her eyes with her palms, crying through the painfully bittersweet vision of a child with his soul-uncovering and entrancing crystal blue eyes.

Cuddy wearily took the files and put them back inside the envelope and stand at the folded letter in front of her. She didn't think she'd handle what's written there. She didn't even think she wanted to know. She's felt like the weight of the world were already on her shoulders and dragging her down to the core of the earth itself. She didn't know if she could take more.

She wanted to know his reasoning, his excuses, wanted to read his apology but wasn't sure if she wanted to be able to do so that night.

Sad… knowing he could still hurt her this much even if he were already so far away from her.

Cuddy took another deep breath and closed her eyes. She tried to clear her head even if it was almost impossible to do so. She kept her eyes closed and thought on whether to read House's letter or not.

It was meant to hurt but she'd have to read it soon enough. She opened her eyes just as a tear escaped it and left a damp trail on her already tear-stained face.

She took the letter in her hands and unfolded it as she took a very deep breath and released it.

* * *

Cuddy… Lisa,

_I know with what you've just read I've caused you more pain than I've ever had. Perhaps too much that I've pushed beyond your limits to the point where you wouldn't be able to forgive me anymore. I don't know what you're exactly feeling right now but I'm sure you're both hurting and angry._

_I know you won't be able to forgive me for what you just discovered. I crossed the lines and screwed up._

_But please bear in mind that you were in my thoughts, in my mind, when I did what I did. I know that you have been yearning for a child of your own for years and when you told me about trying In Vitro, I thought about it. Especially the day—that day— you walked into my office and thanked me for the injections. "Thank you." Weren't the only words you wanted to say. You said so yourself._

_A part of me felt like you were going to ask me to be your donor instead… or father your child._

_I know you backed out in fear of me rejecting. But honestly, I would have said yes. Don't doubt that. I would have agreed. But you didn't ask._

_If you wanted me to father your child but were probably too hesitant and reluctant to approach me. I know I'm an ass but I would have done it for you._

_Lisa… forgive me, I couldn't have fathomed the thought that you were too willing as to turn to a donor… someone you don't know. A person who donated his sperm for money—or whatever. I couldn't stand the sight—the thought—of you pregnant with a jack-off's child. You're too good for that. You deserve so much better._

_It was selfish of me but my thoughts were directed to you. I didn't want you to have a kid that wouldn't have a chance to meet its father. Not that I would have told you eventually since you'd notice it at once. I didn't want you to go through the hurt and trouble of telling your child that you didn't know his or her father. You deserve more than that. You deserve to be happy._

_And so I did it. But I failed. I'm sorry, Lisa… I'm sorry. _

_But what can sorry do, right? Your… our child is no more than just a faint memory that resides in your mind for I didn't even know about it until you told me._

_I had no right to do what I did. But know that I did it for you. You deserve to be happy… and you still do. You deserve to be loved._

_And I love you…_

_But I can't be with you… I've given you too much pain. I don't deserve you for you deserve more than me. With me you'll be lonely, miserable. _

_If it wouldn't be too much, I wish you'd forgive me. But that may be wistful thinking on my part. If ever our paths cross again I hope the mere sight of me doesn't cause you pain._

_I'm sorry Cuddy… and I love you. _

_--- Greg House_

_

* * *

_

By then Cuddy had her chin tucked in between her legs which were propped up against her chest. Her tears were long gone. She couldn't have cried another tear if her life depended on it at that moment. She was beyond grieved. She stared at his last line.

_I'm sorry Cuddy… and I love you._

Her heart felt like it was going to explode right out of its cavity. His words floated around the room. The echoes of how he probably would have said it kept ringing in her ears.

House loved her. And yet he left her.

Did he not think himself worthy enough? Yes. He said so himself.

Yes she was hurt, upset and betrayed. But she didn't hate him. He only wanted her happiness. But seemingly she wasn't meant to be happy if her child was taken from her and the man she loved…

Did she love him, really?

Cuddy sighed and held the now folded letter near her heart. If her heart was hurting this much she supposed she did love him… even before probably, without knowing it.

Absence… _his _absence… made her heart grow fonder.

More than ever, she wanted him with her, near her, and just like before he left without a word, she wanted to be ensconced in his strong arms where she felt safe.

She's forgiven him the moment she read his letter… forgetting what he did when he let his heart speak when he wrote that he loved her. There was no reason for her to relive her anger with him. Their child was gone, and so was he. There was no point in being mad at him.

It took something this big and his absence for them to realize what they really felt.

Cuddy laid in the fetal position and stared at a distant space. She had to find him and bring him back.

But since he left, he didn't want to be found. She wanted to find him though. She wanted to be with him. But apparently, House thought she'd loathe him and condemn him to live a life of hell for what he did. On the contrary, she appreciated what he did.

When she thought she'd fall asleep again, her mind recalled everything that happened the last three months and found herself helplessly crying silently and not minding to wipe her tears, letting them fall to her pillow.

It was just the beginning of a new chapter in her life.

In her and House's life.

* * *

**Three weeks later, Nov. 15**

House stared at his old phone for what seemed like an eternity before he finally switched it on. Messages weren't stored but the voice messages over the past weeks most probably were. That was, of course if anyone at all thought he was worth calling or looking for.

He checked his voicemail inbox and found out that over the span of only a few weeks, he's gotten a record of thirty voicemails. They were either from Wilson, Cameron, or… Cuddy. Most were from Cuddy though.

He didn't have the heart to listen to them. It would only make him want to go back to a place where he was most likely unaccepted anymore than he actually even was. Why do things have to be so difficult? He sighed.

As if things could have gotten worse, his phone rang. It… rang. Dancing Queen. Wilson.

Was it a sign? Was there something wrong? Was there something wrong with Cuddy? He couldn't help but ask. He longed to know how she was, how Wilson was. He was in a place where his sole purpose was to heal. And he claims to only do it for the puzzles.

It kept ringing and ringing nonstop and he curiously wondered if Wilson did this usually or was it just that night. It was a bittersweet temptation he was up against. He wanted to hear his best friend's voice but didn't want to hear it at the same time in fear of what he'll say, inform, or reveal. It was torturous.

House went on a limb and decided to answer it. Like Wilson would find out that he was in Canada through that phone call.

"House? House… House! Are you there?" Wilson's anxious voice was heard echoing throughout his condominium unit.

"Wilson…" he acknowledged after a dreadful two minutes.

"God, House! Where are you?" Wilson's worried and relieved voice asked.

"How is she?" House asked, ignoring his best friend's question.

"God, House…" Wilson breathed out, "She got what you left her three weeks ago."

House didn't reply at once. After a few minutes of silence he sighed, "Of course… Why am I not surprised that you hid it from her?" he asked rhetorically.

"How is she?" House asked again softly.

" She hasn't been sleeping and eating right. She's been indifferent," he whispered grievously, voicing out his concern. "I had to admit her a week ago when her body finally gave up on her. She fainted in the middle of clinic duty, House. Dehydration and over fatigue."

House's chest hurt at Wilson's report. "How is she now?"

"Still the same… but I've been keeping a close watch on her," Wilson said reassuring House.

"How are you?" House asked him.

"I'm good… other than feeling a little betrayed that my best friend left me clueless," Wilson said.

"I'm… sorry," House sincerely told him.

"It's so good to hear from you, House," Wilson smiled on the other line. He never thought the day would come when he'd actually miss House's voice.

"House, about Cuddy… I'm not asking you to come back, or whatever if you don't want to. I'm asking you to just call her, let her know you're okay, safe, and alive. I don't know if she'll be able to pull through this, House. Hell, at least email her, or text her, just please, don't let her feel so alone. Don't make her feel like you've died." Wilson pleaded minutes later. He got no answer from House.

"Why did you do it?" Wilson added gently after getting no response.

"And of course you read and saw everything," House muttered on the other end, deflecting.

"Stop deflecting, please, House. Tell me, why did you do it? Were you just screwing with her?" Wilson pleaded sincerely wanting to understand House's side.

"I wasn't screwing with her. And I don't know why I did it, I just did," he lied. And Wilson knew he did if he really read the letter.

"You love her." Wilson tenderly said, knowing the truth.

"I do," House confirmed in words.

"You left her anyway," Wilson sorrowfully whispered.

"She hates me," House concluded.

"If anything, she loves you." Wilson told him honestly.

"She doesn't…" House said with certainty.

"She does." Wilson firmly said.

"Sh—"

"Call her… please." Wilson begged.

"I don't—"

"House… just, just… please."

_**

* * *

**_

**A/N: I hope you liked it! Please leave a rev and lemme know Absence is still loved. :D**

_**Guys! I wanna know what you guys want! XD**_

_**Tell me: Should House call Cuddy?**_

_**Sound off on the revs! I love your reviews! [And I'm terribly sorry I don't get the time to reply like I always did like in ASH.. :( ]**_


	9. His Voice

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ I'm back on FF! Thanks guys for the support!

I adored the reviews Absence got for the last chapter! You guys are just amazing!

And I'm happy to announce that since I have a lot of time, I'm back on actively replying to revs! (Which I so love doing but haven't had much time to do…)

_Don't kill me at the end of this chap!_

_Always remember, I am not Shore…_

_**Enjoy! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 8: HIS VOICE

_**November 3 , 10 am**_

Cuddy thought what she found out didn't affect her much but it did. It just didn't take its toll on her soon. The moment she started thinking about things, thinking about what could happened and everything else, she grew tired of everything. She just felt so alone—which she was.

She just didn't have the strength to do what she does best anymore. She was rundown and tired. How could she tell herself that she's over everything and fall apart with one envelope filled of information.

She's already forgiven him in her heart. But a part of her couldn't help but grieve over the baby she miscarried. Her and House's child. It hurt even more that she lost a child that could have had a father. House said so himself that he would have said yes. And if based on his letter, he was also willing to father her child if she wanted him to.

The last few days has been hell for her. She couldn't stop glancing or running her hands on her stomach. She was still scarred from the pain it left her with. Why couldn't her body carry a baby to full term?

She was back to being contemplative and it hurt her head as well as her heart. She thought she was over her miscarriage but apparently, she wasn't. House's absence made her forget about it. But House's letter and revelation made her achingly remember everything including his absence.

She hasn't eaten well for days, hadn't gotten enough sleep… and she was never in the mood to jog. She felt so weak. She just wanted to be with House. At the very least, she wished she could just hear his voice… or hear anything about him from even anyone.

How could he love her and leave her? It was just unfair. Then again, when was life ever fair?

She sighed.

Cuddy stood up and wearily made her way to the clinic ignoring the feeling of dizziness that took hold of her. For the past few days she's started walking less confidently than she used to do making others aware that she was dealing with something that was really important to her. But if her employees were thinking of something, they definitely kept it amongst themselves.

Wilson checked on her all the time and she didn't have the potency to push him away or tell him to stop treating her like she was someone he was obligated to look after.

When she was about to get a file she felt herself getting dizzier and she felt her knees buckle under her weight. She barely noticed the nurse who asked her if she were alright. She tried to balance herself on the clinic's concierge desk but wasn't able to.

Before she could even respond or do something her world blacked out and she fainted.

Wilson saw this as he was on his way to do some of his hours and he ran towards Cuddy who was already about to be lifted onto a gurney. He asked the nurse who was beside Cuddy about what happened and the nurse told him.

Wilson then left to follow Cuddy's gurney to the ER.

"What happened?" Cameron asked Wilson with her brows furrowed in concern. Never in her years working under House had she seen Cuddy so fatigued like she did the past few days… wherein House was gone and there were no news of him. She didn't know anything but she had the feeling that what happened to Cuddy was somewhat related to House.

"She fainted in the middle of the clinic," Wilson said as he helped Cameron set up the IVs.

"Is this related to House at all…?" Cameron bluntly asked.

"If it was, it isn't any of your business now, is it?" Wilson covered a little coldly.

Cameron shrugged. She wouldn't get anything from him today but maybe… she will soon.

* * *

About two hours later Cuddy woke up and found Wilson on a chair beside her, reading some patient files.

She looked around and found out that she was in a hospital bed—her hospital's bed. Then she remembered.

_Oh God, how embarrassing, I fainted in the middle of the clinic,_ Cuddy thought.

"You do know that eating and sleeping is a vital part of our daily lives?" Wilson rhetorically asked her with a raised brow which immediately lowered.

"How are you feeling?' he asked her.\

"Weak… hungry… alone," Cuddy muttered the last part softly.

"You have to take care of yourself if you want to smack him someday," Wilson scolded concernedly.

Cuddy laid back and stared at him, "So is this the part where you tell me you told me so about the envelope?" she asked with a small smile.

Wilson shyly chuckled and ran a hand on the back of his neck. Shaking his head he answered, "No, none of that. You were right… you had every right to know. I'm sorry…"

Cuddy shook her head slowly and sighed, "It's actually fine. I mean, I wouldn't know if I could have handled it any better than I did now if I knew about it earlier."

They were silent for a few moments before Cuddy let out a soft sob.

"I hate being this weak," Cuddy told him, "I hate feeling so worthless… Every time… every time I think about him, I just… I don't know, I feel so…" Cuddy trailed off when her tears started falling.

Wilson stood up and walked to the side of her hospital bed and tilted her chin to meet his honest eyes. "Don't you ever doubt your strength. You're not weak, Cuddy, nor worthless. We all just need time. Time heals all wounds."

Cuddy wiped her tears with the back of her hand and muttered jokily, "You make it sound like I'm never going to see him again."

Wilson chuckled, "We will… Just have faith, Cuddy."

Cuddy sighed, "I miss him so much. I love him Wilson," she whispered.

"I know, I know," Wilson patted her hand comfortingly.

"Thank you for being here, Wilson. You're a great friend… and I'm sorry for last, last week," Cuddy apologized sincerely.

Wilson shook his head, "You don't have to apologize, I deserved it."

"By the way, I'm going to be looking after you 24/7 from now on. We couldn't let what just happened earlier today happen again. You got me?" Wilson pointed a finger at her like a parent disciplining a child. He also had his other hand placed on his hip for a show of authority.

"Yes daddy," Cuddy gave a mocking smile, "But don't forget, I'm still your boss."

_**

* * *

**_

November 10, Tuesday night

"_How is she?" House asked again softly._

" _She hasn't been sleeping and eating right. She's been indifferent," he whispered grievously, voicing out his concern. "I had to admit her a week ago when her body finally gave up on her. She fainted in the middle of clinic duty, House. Dehydration and over fatigue."_

_House's chest hurt at Wilson's report. "How is she now?"_

"_Still the same… but I've been keeping a close watch on her," Wilson said reassuring House._

"_How are you?" House asked him._

"_I'm good… other than feeling a little betrayed that my best friend left me clueless," Wilson said._

"_I'm… sorry," House sincerely told him._

"_It's so good to hear from you, House," Wilson smiled on the other line. He never thought the day would come when he'd actually miss House's voice._

"_House, about Cuddy… I'm not asking you to come back, or whatever if you don't want to. I'm asking you to just call her, let her know you're okay, safe, and alive. I don't know if she'll be able to pull through this, House. Hell, at least email her, or text her, just please, don't let her feel so alone. Don't make her feel like you've died." Wilson pleaded minutes later. He got no answer from House._

"_Why did you do it?" Wilson added gently after getting no response._

"_And of course you read and saw everything," House muttered on the other end, deflecting._

"_Stop deflecting, please, House. Tell me, why did you do it? Were you just screwing with her?" Wilson pleaded sincerely wanting to understand House's side._

"_I wasn't screwing with her. And I don't know why I did it, I just did," he lied. And Wilson knew he did if he really read the letter._

"_You love her." Wilson tenderly said, knowing the truth._

Wilson sighed… he couldn't believe it, he had just talked on the phone with House. He was alright but he still didn't know where he was.

The first thing that came into his mind was Cuddy. She needed to know this. She had to know that House was alright, that he was doing okay… and that he still loved her.

He dialed a number he memorized all too well and waited for her to answer.

"Cuddy," she greeted on the other line.

'Cuddy… it's Wilson," Wilson's hesitating voice started.

Cuddy's brows furrowed, "What's wrong?"

Wilson took a deep breath and sat back down on his couch, "I was able to get a hold of House…" he trailed off. He, himself was still stunned.

There was silence on the other line. He knew she was still there for he could hear her breathing as it got a little laborious.

"How… how is he?" Cuddy asked him after a minute of hesitance, her voice cracking.

"He's doing well… well, according to him. But I assume he's not screwing with me because I got to him purely by chance."

"Where is he?" she asked eagerly but softly.

"He didn't say… and he wouldn't. You know that," Wilson told her gently.

"Did he…" she trailed off, not knowing whether she was just setting herself up to get hurt.

"He asked about you… how you were," Wilson said.

"And you told him everything… He probably thinks I'm pathetic," Cuddy dryly mumbled.

"He told me himself that he loves you," Wilson said, wanting to give her a little hope.

"I told him to call you… I just wish that he'd listen to me this one time." Wilson sighed.

"Thank you Wilson… I'll just head off to bed. He won't call," Cuddy's pained voice said goodbye.

"Have you eaten dinner?" Wilson asked before she hung up.

"Yes. Goodnight Wilson," Cuddy bid him and hung up.

_**

* * *

**_

11 pm

_Ring… ring… ring… _

Cuddy was awoken by the ringing of her cell phone which was on her bedside table. Her eyes were still heavy with sleep and she just took it and gazed at the caller but didn't see one as it was labeled unknown and the number didn't register on her screen.

"Hello?" she greeted groggily as she sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.

"Cuddy…" came the voice she so longed to hear for months on end.

Cuddy's eyes shot open as she immediately awoke at the sound of House's voice.

"House!" she gasped, stunned.

"How are you?" his low voice questioned from the other line.

"Alone…" Cuddy honestly answered.

House sighed, "Cuddy…"

Tears started running down her face as her questions fired off, "Why can't you be here? Can't you just come back?"

"I'm sorry for everything… I—"

"House, you don't have to—"

"Cuddy… I know you can never forgive me… I'm sorry… I have to--"

"House no… please, don't hang up!" Cuddy's desperate voice cracked and it pierced House's heart that it hurt so much at that moment to hear her like that.

"Take care of yourself, Cuddy…"

All he heard were her sobs on the other line and he hated himself for doing this to her. But he defiled her so much that he wasn't right for her. She deserved so much better than him. All he did was make her miserable, even when he was already miles away.

"House please…" Cuddy couldn't think anymore. She was grasping at straws on what to tell him, to make him talk to her but her head was running rampant with mixed emotions and thoughts that all she could do was cry from frustration and unhappiness.

"I love you Cuddy… But I can't be with you… I'm sorry..."

"House… I—"

"Goodbye Cuddy," was his fast continuation of his statement and he hung up and slumped back on his couch, drained.

"Love you…" Cuddy's words hung on midair. Tears streamed down her face. Her cell phone dropped from her hand and fell to the floor with a loud thump. She slumped back on her bed and cried herself to sleep that night.

House didn't even hear the three words that would have made him run back to her arms so that all could be forgiven and forgotten.

He didn't hear her tell him she loved him. But he told her he loved her. She heard it straight from his mouth.

It hurt, that he gave her hope and grief at the same time.

It was a bittersweet occurrence. His voice was invigorating to her longing senses but his words suffocated her heart.

It hurt so bad… and there was nothing she could do about it.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

**Lemme know what you think!**

_**Please leave a review…**_

_**So…. What should happen next? *grins* C'mon guys, you know you want to suggest scenes…**_


	10. In Substitute?

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ Thanks for the revs last chap!

Whew… what's up next for Absence… I have no idea. Lol, just kidding… But the suspense is just as fun and exciting as it is annoying, right?

**Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey ***I post A, BW, and IPC sneak peeks there… :D *

_**Hope you like this chap as well! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 9: IN SUBSTITUTE?

_**.**_

_**November 11, 4 am**_

She woke up with a nasty headache. She cried herself to sleep last night and noticing from her clock that it was already 4 am, she only had more or less four or five hours of sleep.

Why couldn't he just listen to her? Why won't he give her a chance to speak? Tell him she's already forgiven him, that she wanted him with her, and that she loved him despite what he did. He was hell bent on keeping to himself his own assumptions as well as conclusions.

She sat up in bed and leant back on the pillow settled on her headboard and tucked her chin on her legs.

How could her life just turn into this tiring drama with House that could rival a soap opera? She sighed. Their relationship was absolutely dysfunctional. What was even more dysfunctional was that they didn't even have a relationship! All they had was a connection which was broken by him leaving her.

Cuddy searched her bed for her phone and when she finally got a hold of it she stared at it for a while. He had used a different number last night. One that didn't register. She browsed through her contacts. But she could have just entered his old number for she still remembered it by heart.

If she called, would it ring? If it did would he answer? If she called and it didn't ring, what then?

If she texted would he reply? If she continued on doing so and told him everything she wanted to say would he come back to her? She shook her head; texting won't do her good. For if he only opened his old phone in times he wanted to do so, her texts won't be received at all and her pursuit of him would be in vain.

Was he even using this number still? Maybe when he feels like it. Which was, based on Wilson's announcement of having been able to contact him once after hundreds of times he tried, once in a blue moon.

Ifs and what ifs won't help her either. She had two choices: try and move on, no matter how difficult that was OR she could, with Wilson's help, try harder to find him. The second option was hard too but even so, she wanted to go with the fifty-fifty chance of finding him and not. Either way, she figured that she'd get hurt all the same.

She closed her eyes briefly as she pressed the call button on her Blackberry and waited… and waited… for nothing. She couldn't get through for his phone was switched off. She guessed leaving a voice message wouldn't help her cause now. The best option was to talk to him directly, which was hard enough to do without any contact with him. E-mail address? He could have changed it by now. And her spoken words would prove to be more powerful than her pen, she figured.

She let a tear roll down her cheek. She was tired of crying, tired of all the drama. But she wanted _him_. And with him came the drama and difficulties, well as of now. If she did ever get her chance with him again, hopefully, once they've cleared the air, most of the things would just be as normal as things could be between them.

She unconsciously wrapped her hands around her midsection and once again settled her head on her knees.

As her fingertips caressed her flat, toned abdomen, a thought entered her mind.

But was she so desperate to have a part of him to consider trying it again?

Consider trying it again and failing… again?

_**

* * *

**_

PPTH, 8 am

"Are you okay?" Wilson asked Cuddy who had dark circles under her eyes which weren't much hidden under a slightly noticeable thick layer of concealer. He just passed by to see how she was doing and by the looks of it, she was deep in thought.

Cuddy's head shot up as she looked at Wilson then she lowered her eyes at the paper she was unsuccessfully going over.

"He called me… last night," Cuddy quietly told him. She felt numb already having cried herself to sleep. House wasn't being fair to her. He didn't even consider hearing her out.

Wilson stood there agape not knowing what to think of the situation. If House had called her like she claimed he has, then why was it so obvious that she cried herself to sleep? He inwardly sighed. House told her what he told him. And it hurt her deeply.

"What are you planning on doing?" Wilson asked her instead of asking her if she was okay which she clearly wasn't

Cuddy hopelessly shrugged and focused her eyes on him. "Move on?" she more asked than stated.

"How do you feel about that?" Wilson asked.

"I don't know…"

"You told me you loved him…" Wilson said trailing off after a while of not knowing what to add. Maybe she was only confused at the moment thus causing her to make decisions she would most likely won't even push through.

Cuddy's eyes went clouded with hurt as she wordlessly beseeched Wilson to not remind him of the bittersweet familiarity of loving a man who also loved her but thought himself unworthy of her heart.

"You need me to help you find him?" Wilson asked her.

Cuddy dryly chuckled, "You once told me he obviously didn't want to be found."

"But you want to, right?" Wilson asked with a hopeful look. An idea just entered his mind a few minutes ago and if it were to get House and Cuddy together again, he was more than open to consider the thought.

Cuddy thought about it but nodded. Who was she kidding? Like she could move on overnight.

"Host a Diagnostic seminar."

Cuddy furrowed her brows, "He hates seminars let alone attend one. And in this situation, like he'd attend one hosted by us."

"Well, he wouldn't have a choice if his new boss demands him to come!" Wilson suddenly smiled.

"How would you know if he's working at some hospital under new authority?" Cuddy negated. "And how do you expect me to be able to get any news of where he's working? The only thing we're sure about is that if he was even practicing, he's not in this country."

"Why are you negating everything?" Wilson smirked, "You're the optimistic person, remember? He's the pessimist, not the other way around."

Sighing Cuddy shook her head, "I don't want to set myself up just to get hurt. Also, I don't want to use my status in this hospital to achieve something beyond professional and business causes." She stated with dignity.

Wilson rolled his eyes and sarcastically told her, "Fine. Just sulk. He won't come anyway. Unless of course something involving you and life-and-death were to happen." He unconsciously spoke out loud. Upon realizing what he just said he looked at Cuddy in bewilderment and became panicky when he saw her face deep in thought.

"Cuddy, don't even think about—"

"What do you think about me trying IVF again?" she looked up at Wilson with hopeful sapphire orbs. She wasn't sure how he'd take it. But she hoped that he'd be open to it since he was the only one she trusted with the information if she was to try again since House still had his specimens in her hospital under that name he used as her donor.

Wilson stared at her, unsure of what to say. Then he was able to follow her trail of thought with the look he just gave her. His expression then turned grave.

"Cuddy, don't do this to yourself…" he quietly told her sitting on the chair in front of her desk.

"I want a child, Wilson. Even more if it was his. I'm not doing this just so he could go back here because he's feeling obligated," Cuddy said with a heartrending smile.

"I don't know what to say," Wilson shook his head as he quietly answered. How did things get so messed up? He didn't know.

There were a lot of questions that either had no answer, or are best left unanswered.

Remembering her previous words Wilson raised his brows in slight confusion, "Aren't you just setting yourself up to get hurt again if you went though with this?" he inquired concernedly.

"I'm going to get hurt either way," Cuddy said the paused before taking a deep breath, "and I'm sure this would make me happy."

"Are you sure you want to do it?" he asked her firmly.

Cuddy stayed silent for a while, debating this somewhat rash decision. She really did want his child just as much as she wanted him. But if she couldn't have him. She could at least have something that was _theirs._

"Yes, Wilson. I want to do it," Cuddy firmly said with a nod.

"Think about it overnight… even for a week, or a month," Wilson advised as he stood up and gave her a stern look.

Cuddy nodded. He was right. Although she was pretty sure her answer won't change.

"I don't want you doing this in substitute of having House. Because if Fate is on your side, you'll get together eventually," Wilson added before walking in the direction of the door.

Cuddy shook her head glumly, "Fate turned its back on us a long time ago."

"Fate works in mysterious ways, Cuddy." Wilson reminded her before exiting her office.

_**

* * *

**_

November 12, 3 pm

"Dr. House, my office! I need to talk to you about something." Blair excitedly called out to House who was in the clinic as a punishment for some stint House did with a patient.

House followed his boss out of the clinic and into her office and sat down on the couch a few feet away from her desk.

"Are we going to make out now?" House asked cockily as he drummed his fingers on his knee, waiting for Blair to speak.

Blair clicked her tongue and feigned disappointment, "Too bad we have a lot of things to go through before we get to that."

Blair waved a hand in front of her directing to the door, "Feel free to get yourself a hooker though," she threw back with a teasing smile. She was in far too good a mood to let his mouth get her down or riled up. House was about to stand to exit her office when Blair told him to sit down since they haven't actually started yet.

"Just get down to business," House said with a smirk, "and stop flirting with me!" he added.

Blair rolled her eyes at him but then collected herself and put her hands neatly folded on top of her desk. "I've finally organized that International Seminar we were talking about before. Well, organized half of it." She excitedly told him.

House's face fell, "When?" he asked clearly not anticipating the date.

"Two months from now," Blair answered, "I'll let you know your theme and your topic once I get everything in order."

House stood up, "Was that all?" he asked her.

Blair shook her head then her face took on a look of concern. "How have you been doing? You seem a little… off, lately."

"I'm fine," House answered quickly. He was about to make his way toward her office doors but her next question left him unsure of how to answer.

"Would you mind if I invite Princeton Plainsboro?" she asked as a friend, not as a boss, her tone letting it be known to him. She really didn't know the extent of what his history with the Dean there but she still cared about her employee and "friend's" emotional well-being.

House would have said he did mind but the righteous side of him didn't want to deprive the place he once devoted himself to of the opportunities from an international seminar just because he had some issue with the dean in said hospital.

"Invite them, I don't mind," he muttered.

Blair eyed him doubtfully but then pursed her lips, "If you're sure…"

"I'm sure," House barely whispered.

"House, I mean it honestly when I say it's okay if you don't want me to—"

"Dr. Blair, it's fine. Feel free to call them as you please," House cut her off pointedly but still maintaining a hint of politeness for Lexi's concern for him.

Blair didn't believe him with that answer but she nodded. And with that, House left her office.

Blair thought about it. Princeton Plainsboro was a great hospital from the United States and she couldn't just ignore that. But she respected House.

But he just said that it was okay with him, right? Even if she didn't believe that it was actually alright with him.

Well, she could refrain from speaking of House though. She'd give him that. She'd give him one month and a half until she let it be known that House was working for her and that he was going to be speaking in the seminar. That was the least she could do for him since she gave him the option of not including PPTH in the seminar and he chose to tell her that he was okay with it.

She sighed at the mystery that connected Dr. Gregory House and the dean of PPTH.

Some things unravel with time, she thought as she diverted her attention to the stacks of paperwork she had to go over for the seminar and the hospital.

A call to the Dean of Medicine at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, as well as the other hospitals weren't that far off. She'd be calling deans by next week. That was if she could finish all the plans, topics, and the like and coordinate with the rest of her board and the staff.

It's going to be two hellish months but the payoff would be absolutely worth it, she thought.

_**

* * *

**_

November 12, 9 pm

Cuddy stood up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She took the kettle and filled it with water and waited for it to boil. She took a teabag and put it in her cup and she waited.

While waiting she remembered Wilson's words. She didn't have to think about it. Her mind was made up.

She wondered then what House would think of her doing this?

She shook her head. If he gave a damn what she thought for just a second he would have been here instead of somewhere she didn't know.

She realized that she didn't consider everything else but what she wanted. And that was bad. Well, for her. Wilson was right, she finally acquiesced. He was so right. She had to think about this. She absolutely had to think this through.

For the moment she went on with it, there was no turning back. She'll be willing to raise a child, her and House's child, alone. She'd undergo a lot of emotional turmoil. She'd eventually have to tell her child why his or her father was missing. But that was overlooking the future. She forgot about the fact that she could just as easily miscarry again…

That… that she didn't know how she would take. Didn't know how she would take without _him _with her. In a more intimate way than the last time.

But that was far from happening. Unless a miracle made its way to her. She missed him so much, missed everything; the banter, bickering, the joy of having him in her radar, his voice, his face… everything.

Cuddy was pulled out of her thoughts when she finally noticed the insistent whistling of the kettle, informing her to get on with her life and turn off the burner. She collected herself and finally turned off the burner and took the kettle, pouring boiling water into her cup for some tea.

She then retreated to her living room and pushed thoughts of House and her plans of trying IVF once again to the back of her head so she can finish what she had to do for work. Though admittedly, it wasn't a very easy task to accomplish.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: You guys still there? :D Lemme know what you think! Please leave a review…

_So, who's guessing Lexi Blair would be calling Cuddy next chapter? *I'm such a tease* Raise your hands! _


	11. Only in My Dreams

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ You guys still there? Well anyways if you are, don't kill me with my intro. Lol. And nope, the title isn't a premonition that there'll be no Huddy ever in this fic because there is totally going to be a lot of Huddy here. :D How soon? Guess!

_**ANNOUNCEMENT: **__Three updates tonight, one for each fic… Then for the rest of this week, I'll be updating one or two fics per day… Be sure to leave a rev 'cause the muse will be demanding them from me. Lol…_

**Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey ***I post A, BW, and IPC sneak peeks there… :D *

_**Hope you like this chap as well! **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 10: ONLY IN MY DREAMS

.

"Mommy!" she heard a little blue eyed kid call to her from behind. He was running towards her and she was confused as to why she was in the middle of a living room… a very big living room to be exact.

"Mommy! Mommy!" the little boy she estimated was around four years old called to her again, a wide, beaming familiar smile on his lips.

Not being able to help herself as the boy's smile was contagious , she beamed and held her arms forward as if upon instinct as she crouched to scoop him in her arms.

"Why were you laughing?" she asked him as he held onto her tightly before pulling back with his tiny hands on her shoulders as he looked at her with blushing cheeks probably caused by his laugh-trip.

"Daddy's after me… You gots to hide me, mommy!" he whispered a little loudly for it to be even called a whisper as he was also giggle his slightly chubby cheeks out as well.

"Nice, using your mother," she heard a very familiar voice called out from what she guessed was the kitchen.

And indeed, when the person stepped into the living room, she was breathless to see him in front of her, as handsome and even healthier as ever, saw him standing in front of her, his playful smirk directed towards the little boy bundled in her arms who was hiding his face in her neck as if it would help hide him from his… father.

"House…" Cuddy breathlessly whispered when her eyes shot open and taking a deep breath she realized it was just a dream.

A bittersweet dream. Probably one that had a fifty-fifty chance of happening and or… not happening.

But the kid… the blue eyed boy who endearingly and lovingly called him mommy multiple times was stuck in her head, painfully visible and even in Technicolor. But the joy trumped her pain with the somewhat real feeling of his arms wrapped around her still. One time she imagined a child, a child, no gender preference, with _his_ cerulean eyes… House's cerulean eyes. This dream, gave that child a face… an angelic face and a gender… a boy. Every feature in vivid detail that showed her what their child would have looked like, or…

If she _did _try IVF again… what their child would look like when he reached that age. Blue eyes. Those were all she could think about. Her blue eyed baby boy.

Even if it was but a bittersweet dream, she found joy in it. Found joy in her dream child's jovial laugh and voice.

The only thing that got to her was that she didn't know his name. Even so, it also struck her that House was there. And their baby boy called him daddy…

But she left it like that, not wanting to get herself down with anything else that her dream could have meant. She closed her eyes to let sleep claim her once again, wholeheartedly welcoming the prospect of dreaming about a certain diagnostician and a blue eyed boy.

_**

* * *

**_

House's condominium unit, November 14, 3 am

House found it hard to sleep ever since he called Cuddy. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He wanted to talk to her. About... things. About everything.

He then started thinking of why he was even in this place… and not with _her._

If he did come back. Would she really be waiting for him? Willing to let him in again? She _did _ask him why he couldn't just come back… and be with her.

But he's made a decision and she was better off without him really. He would undoubtedly make her miserable. She may be sad now, but time would heal her wounds. Lisa Cuddy was the strongest woman he knew.

Nevertheless, he couldn't stop thinking about her. He found it strange how he was excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time that he would most possibly be seeing her, or vice versa, when the conference came.

Until then, he'll just try and live through the path he chose to take. The path without her as he thought was best for _her. _Even if it hurt him… his heart. But he believed that she didn't need him in her life as she's always been better off without him.

_**

* * *

**_

VBCTH, Blair's office, 12 pm

"Please get me the office number of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's Dean of Medicine. They're located in New Jersey. When you get a hold of the number, please let me know." Blair told her secretary via the intercom. She's called many deans and chancellors from different hospitals from different places and she's talked to more than half of the people in the list already.

She wasn't sure though if she could really talk to PPTH's dean without mentioning House. She knew what it was like to have someone, specially someone as great a doctor as House, taken from her as if a rug was pulled from beneath.

Well, she could mention House in the future. After all, he had a right to leave her hospital. But not less than the number of months they had agreed upon in his contract which was twelve months.

She guessed that was alright. If ever House wanted to go back to Princeton, New Jersey, for whatever reason, she didn't really have any say in the matter as long as all his duties and obligations with regards to his employment here weren't left hanging and undone.

A few minutes later her secretary gave her a piece of paper which had PPTH's number and the dean and chief administrator's name scribbled legibly in it. Looking at the list she had and having noticed there were very few numbers left that she had to call, she shrugged, took a deep breath and dialed Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's number.

"Princeton Plainsboro, Dr. Cuddy's office, how may I help you?" Cuddy's secretary greeted politely on the other line.

"May I speak with Dr. Cuddy? This is Dr. Lexi Blair from Vancouver British Columbia Teaching Hospital," Blair professionally replied.

"Please hold," the secretary told her. She got inside Cuddy's office after knocking and being waved. She told her who called. Cuddy nodded and took hold of the phone, setting aside a file she was reading.

"This Dr. Cuddy, how may I help you?" Cuddy greeted on the other line. Glancing at her clock, she noticed it was going on to three.

"Dr. Cuddy, hi. This is Dr. Lexi Blair from Vancouver British Columbia Teaching Hospital. I wanted to know if you'd be interested in having Princeton Plainsboro included in an International Diagnostics and Oncology Seminar our hospital will be hosting." Blair said professionally, although an alluring tone in her voice.

Cuddy thought about it. A diagnostic and oncology seminar. She then thought about what Wilson said. And how she negated it. Is this seminar something she should find hope in? She supposed so.

And not only did her hospital gain something from it, she as well would gain something if _he did _show up.

"Dr. Cuddy?" Blair pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry. Yes, Dr. Blair, we would love to be part of the seminar," Cuddy said with a small sincere smile.

Blair smiled even though Cuddy couldn't see her, "That's good to hear, Dr. Cuddy. I'll have my secretary email you the details regarding everything."

"Thank you," Cuddy said.

As an afterthought she suddenly found herself asking, "May I ask who the speakers will be?"

Blair thought about it. Was she possibly thinking whether her ex-employee will be part of it?

"Well, we have most of the proficient diagnosticians from different countries, I have yet to coordinate with the people speaking as per what their topic would be tackling. As per the Oncologists, I have yet to look for renowned ones to speak," Blair opened, wondering if Dr. Cuddy could give recommendations regarding that part.

"If you don't mind I could recommend one of my Oncologists here. I could have him contact you soon if you want," Cuddy offered, knowing that Wilson liked speaking about his profession.

Blair agreed and they talked a little bit more about Wilson before Cuddy decided to go on a limb and ask about a certain diagnostician.

"Will Dr. Gregory House be speaking?" she asked.

Blair sat up straight in her chair, not expecting her to ask her so forwardly. But maybe she was just curious. Changing her strategy as she knew House wouldn't appreciate anyone from _there _knowing where he was she replied, "I don't know. I would have loved it if he did. By any chance do you know where he is so I can try to persuade him to speak at the seminar?" she asked innocently enough to make Cuddy believe she hadn't the slightest idea where House was and how to contact him.

Cuddy sighed, "He used to work for me. Anyway, we… something happened. He had to leave and I haven't had contact with him for three months, give or take." She told Blair.

The melancholy in her voice didn't escape Blair as she got even more curious about what happened between House and her.

Gathering her courage Cuddy took a deep breath and spoke, "Dr. Blair, if you do get a hold of him, please let me know. There are… many things I have to say to him still."

"I'll try and remember that Dr. Cuddy. Anyway, it was great talking to you, and I look forward to see you on the Seminar. I'll have Carmen, my secretary email you about everything else," Blair told her, managing a cheery tone but not a fake one though.

"Thank you too Dr. Blair. I'll have Dr. Wilson in touch regarding his speech. Thank you for the invite, goodbye." Cuddy sincerely greeted and bid her farewell.

Blair hung up and sighed. There was a lot to know but she knew she wasn't a part of their "problem" and had no right to get or try to get involved and be a middleman. Their issues are their issues alone.

But seeing House usually miserable and having heard the misery in Dr. Cuddy's tone, she was betting they both needed each other but had too much in between them.

Anyway, it wasn't her business. But she was allowed to be curious, right?

She sighed. Reaching for a stack of papers, she started reading them off after having jotted down a few notes for her to have Carmen do with regards to the invitations. She knew Cuddy would eventually see the invitation in the mail but then again, she could always just put House's name as a yet-to-be-known guest speaker.

She was still debating the thought though.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Please let me know what you think!

_**And yes, finally, we're somewhat getting somewhere! :D**_

_**Please leave a rev :D**_


	12. Friends

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ _We all know they're miserable… so a little time jump so we can get to the seminar soon. How soon? Maybe two chapters from now. Or even after the next chapter after this one!_

_Where are the others? Lol… Anyway, I hope you're liking the fast updates this week. _

_This one came late 'cause I was in a very bad position while typing up BW30 the other night thus making my right wrist sore and making it hard for me to type fast and properly. I bandaged it for a day and removed it earlier this afternoon at school. _

*Don't kill me with the spoiler I have for you guys below* *Hides now*

_**One last thing, before I hide and before any of you guys would think about this, I would tell you now that NO CHANCE that Wilson will be falling for Cuddy, *In this fic or any of mine* ever! He'll always be the protective "big brother". **_

_**Enjoy! We're getting somewhere! :D**_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 11: FRIENDS

_**.**_

Over the previous weeks, House and Blair managed to establish a personal friendship outside and inside work; having coffee at times—which was rarely—and then conversing about different things whenever time was available.

They've been talking casually, which House got used to since he _had _to get used to talking to someone. He didn't have Wilson to bother, didn't have Cuddy to… well, everything. He had a team he could mess with but he's been given strict orders to not get involved in his team's personal lives lest it's already affecting their duties to the patients and the hospital.

But that didn't mean he never tried to get to their heads and mess with them even a little.

He hasn't had any contact from anyone other than his mother from the United States. He never dared open his old cell phone again in fear of having Cuddy or even Wilson get through him.

The disadvantage though, of having a sharp mind and memory on his part, was he couldn't forget either of those two important people's numbers.

He distracted himself by trying to explore the new place he's in. Getting to know people though, he didn't even thought about. He managed to go places via cabs, not even thinking of buying his own car so that he doesn't have to pay cabs every day. But he thought of buying a motorcycle.

He went out, worked out, always attended his PT sessions and never had Vicodin again. His leg wasn't hurting anymore and what remained of it was just his scar.

Although there were times when he played the piano in his big condo unit and couldn't help but reminisce on everything he went through while in Princeton.

Along with that, he also tried to assess how much his life and he, himself, has changed when he chose to run here.

And as time continued to run forward, he wondered whether it was taking him along with him and healing him at the same time or this wasn't really for the best of either of them.

* * *

As the days went by and Dr. Lexi Blair had more contact with every dean, chancellor, or doctor that were participating in the seminar, she got to talk to one Dr. Lisa Cuddy as well. And since they've been talking, as time went by, Blair couldn't understand how House and Cuddy could have went through something that could send them this far apart .

Dr. Cuddy always sounded so calm, reserved, yet could make some comment so the ice would break and they would laugh amidst the discrepancies they see on some lists that they then fix. Having heard from someone that Dr. Cuddy was great at organizing events, Blair didn't waste time in asking her if she could help her out with the topics and to whom they best fitted to be assigned.

Cuddy, having taken a liking to the business-oriented but very outgoing and nice host of the seminar, agreed to help. Only about thirty percent of her reason in agreeing was to get her mind off things.

Blair has tried many a time to stop herself from asking about Dr. Cuddy's personal or business relationship with House but she managed to hold her tongue. She agreed with herself that they weren't that well-acquainted yet for her to ask such a personal question.

_**

* * *

**_

VBCTH, Blair's office, December 11, 4 pm

"Dr. Blair, I've got Dr. Cuddy on hold," Carmen, her secretary told her through the intercom.

Blair thanked her and pushed the button for the speaker and shifted her attention to Cuddy.

"Dr. Cuddy, how may I help you?" Blair greeted cheerfully as she stuck a sticker label to one folder.

"Dr. Blair, I told you that you could refer to me as Lisa," she heard Cuddy say in the same tone she used.

Blair's chuckle echoed through her office as she replied, "Then _Lisa, _I'd prefer it if you called me Lexi. This is great improvement though Lisa, we've spoken to each other what, once or twice a week? Now we're on first name status!" she joked, causing Cuddy to laugh.

"Yes, Lexi, I'll be sure to get our bands ready," Cuddy rode along.

Blair shook her head at what they were doing. She had to admit it was fun though. She found it amusing how she could get along well with someone she barely knew but somehow, in some unexplainable way, gotten close to just by keeping in touch on the phone and through email.

This made her even more curious as to what got in between House and Cuddy.

Feigning curiosity, even if Cuddy wouldn't see, Blair raised an eyebrow and seriously asked, "Do they allow same sex marriage there in Jersey?"

A few seconds of silence later Cuddy and Blair burst out laughing as they thought of the two of them in that situation.

"That was fun. So, anyway, I'm sorry for getting us sidetracked. You were going to ask?" Blair said, still trying to get herself together after laughing hard.

Cuddy kept silent awhile, pondering whether she should push through with her question or just forget about it.

Knowing it would be her first time asking it, Cuddy took a deep breath and spoke.

"I just wanted to ask if you were able to get in contact with Dr. House?" Cuddy asked, her voice trembling just a little.

Blair sobered at her question. She _now _hated herself a little for lying to Cuddy. But she had a duty to her hospital and she made a silent vow to herself that she wouldn't interfere with anything she finds out regarding House and Cuddy. Also, she somewhat promised she wouldn't let the truth out until seriously necessary.

"I'm sorry Lisa but I still haven't had contact with him. I'm trying to though," Blair said, lying through her teeth, feeling a part of her wrench annoyingly in guilt.

She'll know and see him soon enough. Time flies quickly these days, Blair told herself.

She heard Cuddy sigh, "Thanks. Oh and I've fixed that list you asked me to organize. I'm just curious. Who's the surprise guest speaker going to be?" Cuddy then asked, her tone from disappointment to that of curiosity.

"Sorry, Lisa. You've been such a great help and I want to tell you but I can't. You're going to have to wait and be surprised at who it is," Blair then said. Well, there was no doubt Cuddy would be more than surprised to see for herself at the seminar who her "surprise guest speaker" will be.

Cuddy clicked her tongue but had a small smile on her face. Well, she couldn't blame Blair. If she were hosting the seminar she would as well hide the identity of her surprise speakers. "That's okay. Anyway, I have to go, paperwork waiting," Cuddy said.

"Thanks for organizing the list! And I'm really sorry for not being able to tell you. Although if I get hold of Dr. House, I'll be sure to let you know," Blair told her.

"Thank you Lexi," Cuddy said gratefully, "Goodbye."

"You're welcome, Lisa. Thanks again. I'll talk to you soon, bye," Blair replied and then they both hung up.

Feeling tormented by her own guilt, Blair dropped her head on top of a few paperwork on her desk and groaned.

_**

* * *

**_

VBCTH, House's office, December 11, 6 pm

"Okay… I have had enough!" Blair told House as she sat down on the couch in his office and crossed her arms in front of her, looking at him with a guarded stare. After having worked through her inner turmoil at being somewhat an invisible middleman between House and Cuddy, Blair finished more paperwork before snapping at the questions in her head and finally decided to go ask House.

House raised an eyebrow at her, "I didn't do anything!" he answered confusedly.

Blair shook her head and clicked her tongue. "No, this isn't work related," she told him.

House rolled his eyes at her as he grinned wolfishly at her, "I told you, before I even consider sleeping with you, you have got to get rid of that boyfriend of yours!"

Blair's jaw dropped and she chucked a throw pillow at him which he caught and threw back at her. "I told you never to stick your foot into my personal life!" she reprimanded.

House defensively raised his hands in front of him, "Hey! I didn't! What would you have had me do? Leave the restaurant I was eating at where you and your badass hubby were supposed to date?"

"He isn't a badass! He's perfectly—"

"Endowed?" House mocked sarcastically.

Rolling her eyes at his mocking Blair then chose to just join him, "He is, actually. And he isn't a badass. He was just stressed that night that's why—"

"He snapped indecorously at a waiter who accidentally hit his chair thus causing him to spill his wine on his pants?" House suggested.

"How near were you to us?" Blair asked him in a hiss. "Why are we even talking about this? I'm the one supposed to interrogate you here!"

"How long have you been with him?" House ignored her questions.

"Why? Not that it's any of your business anyway," Blair muttered, defeated. Maybe if she answered all his questions in an instant they'd get somewhere after his curiosity is satisfied and satiated.

"Because usually, if that happened on the first date, a woman such as yourself wouldn't have dated him again," House said knowingly. He had a bad feeling about her boyfriend.

Blair bit her lip and shook her head, "No," she drawled, "He's just… complicated. He's really nice if you get to know him. He just has a short fuse, is all." She told him with a small smile.

"So… how long?"

"Half a year," Blair said and before House could open his mouth added, "And I didn't come here so you can interrogate me about my love life!"

House shrugged, "Well, you allowed me to."

Blair shrugged as well, "I consider you my friend, House."

House sliced the air in front of him with a hand, "Pshaw, I'm touched," he said, then putting his palm on top of his chest and feigned being touched by her remark.

"I'm betting what got "touched" was your ego," Blair dryly muttered.

"So… you were going to ask me when you walked through my door?" House asked, getting them back on track.

And he finally gets satisfied… at the moment.

Blair looked at him for a while because she really wasn't sure how he'd take her question. Every time they talked, their topic either revolved around other hospital staffs, cases, or places in Canada she could recommend him to check out.

"What really happened between you and Lisa?" she asked.

House gave her a confused look which she rolled her eyes at before clarifying, "Cuddy?"

"So, what, you two are best friends now?" he scoffed at her, deflecting.

"I mean it, House," Blair's tone changing from exasperation in a heartbeat, "I don't understand how the two of you could have gone through something that made you move so far when you could just have moved some states away."

"It's none of your business," House muttered under his breath although she heard it.

Blair sighed and stood up. She made her way to the chair in front of his desk and sat down, reaching forward to pat his hand as she searched his blue eyes which were avoiding hers. "House… You could tell me anything. I won't tell her. Just tell me anything you can, because I'm sure you've been keeping this inside. I'm in front of you right now as a friend, not as your employer, not as your boss."

House just remained silent. Normally he would have up and left then and there. But she was right. Having no one to tell this to was hard. Then again, when did he ever have someone he could confide with, with these kind of things?

He used to have Wilson but the things he said to Wilson were also limited.

"House, I want you to know you can trust me," Blair sincerely told him, taking her hand back after one last pat, "Because you really can trust me."

House closed his eyes and sighed deeply. "It's complicated," he murmured gruffly.

"Everything's what you make it to be," Blair told him.

"We had a very bad fight," House then told her.

Blair rolled her eyes and scrunched up her face, "House, I'm not a child. I could perfectly rationalize and dissect things and situations" Blair defensively told him.

"Sorry, I thought you were—"

"Could you please stop deflecting? If you're desperate to not answer my question you could just say so," Blair cut him off.

House scoffed, "Well I'm sorry. I thought I already implied that with the words "It's complicated"," he sarcastically told her.

Well, rules of ethics and politeness never worked for him. She'll have to play his game. Manipulation can be a blessing sometimes, she thought.

And House needed a push. If he really went to Canada to move on, he had to talk about things so that he could work from there as to how to do it and move forward.

"If you don't tell me now, I'll go right down to my office and call Cuddy and tell her that _you're _the surprise speaker I told her whose identity I can't divulge," Blair threatened him, arching a brow at him in a dare when House's icy glare met her audacious ones.

"Do that and I'm out of here," House threw back at her.

"Do _that _and you're ass gets hauled to jail for breach of contract and you get stripped of your medical licenses. Oh wait, or you might get deported," Blair countered unhinged by House's threat of leaving.

House sighed and his tensed posture softened as he looked down, "Lexi," Blair's eyebrows shot up at the use of her first name with his confusing vulnerable tone, "I'm not apt to opening up to anyone."

Blair's gaze softened at his state. "House, I may be the only friend you have here, you know." She joked.

"Actually, yes, I think so too," House agreed sarcastically.

"And you're diverting the topic again. Tell me anything. And we'll work from there," Blair said, understanding that he couldn't tell her everything which was right.

"I love her," House said.

Blair rolled her eyes at that.

"Could you cut that out? It'll stick if you keep it going," House told her, annoyed.

"Well, if you didn't say such obvious things, I would be able to keep myself from doing it!" Blair told him pointedly.

"I helped her get pregnant," House then chose to say.

Blair's head lolled to the side as her eyes bugged out of their sockets. She was speechless.

"Behind her back…" House added when he saw his team a few feet away from his glass office door.

And with that, Lexi Blair, M.D. died from shock…

Well, actually no. She was just too stunned that she wasn't able to reciprocate House's team's polite evening greetings to her.

"Bryan's getting worse. The treatment didn't work, and we think you should see something," Alexis Chou, House's team member of Asian descent informed him with a well-practiced American accent. House liked calling him "blindy", much to his annoyance but he got used to it weeks later, because of his eyes.

House snapped his fingers a few inches away from Blair's poker face as she unblinkingly continued to stare at him in disbelief and shock, causing her to snap out of her thoughts.

She was about to speak when House cut off anything she was about to say or ask.

"Patient's dying. I'm pretty sure that's more important than dissecting my love life," House told her, the words "love life" that left his lips caused his team to look at him with curious expressions, eyebrows raised.

"We're not yet finished with this," Blair pointed at him with her index finger.

House waggled his brows up at her.

Though yes, having revealed a few things to her did make him feel a little—if nothing—better. Well, not better. Freed, rather.

_**

* * *

**_

PPTH, Exam room 2, December 15, 11 am

"Cuddy, are you really sure about this?" Wilson asked her for maybe the thousandth time.

Cuddy double checked to make sure the clinic door was locked before facing Wilson with a frown.

"They're just twice a day injection of Menotropin, Wilson," Cuddy muttered as she looked at him.

"Which is part of the protocol for In Vitro fertilization, I know. And since you're going through this, means you're going through the entire process," Wilson said knowingly.

"I could still change my mind," Cuddy unconvincingly told him.

"Yeah, right." Wilson said. Sighing, he put down the injection and patted the chair near him, asking Cuddy to sit.

When Cuddy frowned at him not injecting her first, Wilson patted the chair again and she finally complied although reluctantly. Wilson then leaned back on the exam table and looked at her, clearing his throat before speaking.

"Cuddy… I know you're probably sick of me making excuses and such about prolonging this but… this is the last time I'll suggest it. If what I'm going to propose next doesn't happen, I'll wordlessly and with my blessing, help you through the process," Wilson started seriously.

Cuddy sighed, "What is it this time, Wilson?"

"Wait until after the seminar. It's a diagnostic and oncology seminar. And there's a long shot of House attending it but it's worth the last try. If you, we, don't get to meet him there and you don't get to talk to him, then I'll wordlessly help you through this," Wilson proposed.

Cuddy shook her head at Wilson, "I don't need your blessing for this, Wilson," she said.

"Well, you need my help. And you still will if you succeed at conceiving," Wilson shrugged.

Cuddy briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay," she agreed finally, pursing her lips as she looked at Wilson.

"You think he'll be there?"

Upon agreeing Cuddy knew she was subjecting herself to hoping and being let down again but it would be the last, she promised herself. If their fates still didn't collide by then, then there really wasn't anything to be hopeful for anymore and she should, even if painfully, try to move on like she's been trying the past months.

And when the time was right and she was impeccably ready, she'd then try IVF again, with Wilson's help.

"I don't know," Wilson answered honestly on a sigh.

Cuddy looked hopefully at him, "I hope he will."

Wilson nodded in agreement. So did he, so did he.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Let me know what you think! Leave a rev please :D

_**SPOILER for next chap::: **_

_**HOUSE kisses BLAIR…!**_


	13. Surprises

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ _*comes out of hiding* Lol… Before you guys skin me alive, read this entire chapter first… Lol. Feel free to do whatever you want with me afterwards…_

A shout out goes to Lexi Bernstein aka BreeInDiamonds, my bestest fanfic and FB biatch, for brainstorming with me and serving as my demi-muse for this chappie. :D 3 yah Lex. Lol 

_**THIS CHAPTER IS MY PERSONAL FAVORITE… it's also the longest. :D**_

_**Yo guys, I'm sure you've been waiting for this chapter… second to the most awaited one you've been waiting for. Lol… Please send me some love and revs :D**_

_**Gotta love this! Enjoy!**_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 12: SURPRISES

.

She was used to spending Christmas alone. But this was the first Christmas in many years of working together that she hasn't seen him. Telling her that she was Jewish or things like that. Earlier that day Wilson dropped by her house and asked her if she wanted to go out for a Christmas dinner, as friends, since he didn't have anyone to be with as well.

Throughout of the duration of the evening, they ate and as much as possible, didn't talk about House though it was impossible that they didn't. House was like their common denominator.

Cuddy opened up to Wilson during dinner, telling him that he was right to suggest waiting until after the seminar to reconsider the In Vitro Fertilization.

Wilson told her that it was okay. That maybe she was making slightly rash decisions as means to find happiness to cope up for House's absence. He knew that Cuddy was very reasonable thus agreeing with the logic of his proposal to postpone until hope is all lost and Cuddy will be somewhat freed to do what she wants that is, if she unconditionally wanted to do it.

After a night of… well, a night full of conversations, Cuddy and Wilson realized, along with more important things, that...

Christmas wasn't the same with the Grinch who celebrated it as well.

* * *

House, obviously, spent Christmas in the warm confines of his condominium unit. He didn't have anyone to bother.

Aside from being bored though, he genuinely wanted to greet Cuddy and Wilson a merry Christmas but thought the best of it at the last hour of actually thinking of doing it. He opted to call his mother and talk to her for a few hours. Other than that, his Christmas was pretty much spent in front of his plasma TV, watching wrestling with a can of beer in his hand and Chinese takeout boxes on his center table.

Blair called him at around six in the evening to greet him a merry Christmas again after telling him to not get his ass drunk so he could haul it to work the next morning. Of course, she said it in good humor with just the slightest undertone of an order to it.

He then glanced at the unopened gifts he got from different staffs and patients from the hospital.

Realizing the number of it, he guessed that he _did _gain something here in Vancouver.

A little more humanity.

Not that he didn't have any before. Just that, being in this new place around new people, and of course, a boss that's keeping him _both _on a short and a tight leash helped this improvement of his personality.

Blair, after a few weeks, gave him freedom in doing what he wanted with regards to procedure as long as he politely gave her his reasons as to why he thought it was needed and why the procedure was the one he chose out of lesser invasive ones. But. She never tolerated his bad attitude towards patients and staffs. That, he learned after having had an argument with a member of the ER staff. She gave him the liberty to speak as himself with her though, which was a breath of fresh air. But he did so do what she requested when Blair told him that. And annoyingly so, he had gotten used to being civil with the people around him that, he started talking even less snarkier towards his own boss, much to his annoyance at himself, and much to his boss' delight.

He now more openly showed his humanity than he did at Jersey. And since he was alone, he did audibly acknowledge to himself and to Heineken that it felt good.

* * *

_**VBCTH, Blair's office, December 30, 3:30 pm**_

"I can't wait to finally meet you Lexi," Cuddy genuinely said in a cheerful tone.

Her words caused Blair to smile. Cuddy probably was the nicest female administrator she's gotten to know during her administrative years, well maybe because there were only few young ones. "Three week, Lisa, three weeks."

"Although I'm now apologizing in advance," Blair said with a chuckle, wanting herself to not sound serious and imply anything.

Cuddy furrowed her brows, "For what?"

"Well, you'll see," Blair nonchalantly replied. "Anyway, is Dr. Wilson's speech in the works?" she asked, diverting the topic.

Puzzled and intrigued as she was, she proudly told Blair of Wilson's speech being surely one of the best he's written yet.

"How's the preparations going?" Cuddy then asked her.

"It's doing well, no problems so far. Everybody's been great at helping. My staffs have been less troublesome than they usually are but hey, we can't control everything, right?" she answered while looking down at the some files, scribbling things on them in pencil as she tried to multitask.

"Dr. House, this is completely insane and against ethics!" Dr. Mercer exclaimed as House barged through her office doors without so much as a knock.

"I told you, if you don't do it now our patient dies! And I don't care about the ethics of anything! I know your guilt complex is a record-breaker but geez, you're a doctor, we make risks, deal with it!"House haughtily retorted to the fuming green-eyed woman who had her arms crossed in front of hair.

"This is exactly want I'm talking about, Dr. Blair! Our patient already is dying and Dr. House wants this procedure done on a whim!" Mercer exclaimed, glaring at House.

Damn it, yes, yes! _She, _can't control everything, Blair thought, mortified as she looked up at House with eyes looking like a goldfish out of water.

Before House could even reply upon opening his mouth, Blair immediately held up her hand to stop any words that would surely come out of their mouths without having anyone intercede. She sent a death glare on the two warring doctors, daring them to speak.

She twirled her hand around and gestured for them to leave her office, she raised an eyebrow at House who was about to speak but closed it when she steely eyed him, sending a glance at the phone, her gaze then softening and that made House realize who she was talking to.

His challenging eyes melted to a puddle of emotions, mirroring what he was feeling.

Blair nodded slowly as she gestured for him to leave, calmer now.

Closing her eyes, she inwardly took a deep breath and thought of the next logical step.

* * *

_**Cuddy's office, on the phone with Blair**_

"_It's doing well, no problems so far. Everybody's been great at helping. My staffs have been less troublesome than they usually are but hey, we can't control everything, right?" she answered while looking down at the some files, scribbling things on them in pencil as she tried to multitask._

_Cuddy was about to reply when she froze at the next words she heard on the other line. She heard it loud and clear but she wanted to make sure her mind wasn't playing tricks on her._

"_Dr. House, this is completely insane and against ethics!" she heard a woman, she thought who was surely not Lexi, yell out in frustration._

"_I told you, if you don't do it now our patient dies! And I don't care about the ethics of anything! I know your guilt complex is a record-breaker but geez, you're a doctor, we make risks, deal with it!"And indeed, her ears weren't messing with her, neither was her brain. House was there as she heard his angered tone reason out haughtily with the other doctor._

"_This is exactly want I'm talking about, Dr. Blair! Our patient already is dying and Dr. House wants this procedure done on a whim!" she heard the woman exclaim again._

There was a few minutes of uncomfortable silence.

Cuddy somehow forgotten how to speak. Her throat was useless. She didn't even know if she was breathing. She didn't know how to react to what she just heard other than be stunned. She didn't know how to ask Blair about it.

She never heard any reply from House so she assumed Blair nonverbally stopped him from talking.

She wanted to be mad. She was supposed to feel betrayed. Her mind told her she was used. But she didn't have the power to voice her own feelings, had no power to even feel any of those.

House was in Vancouver, Canada.

He was working for a woman she's been talking to and has taken a liking to.

And she was probably meeting him soon.

Her mind was racing a mile a minute with thoughts she didn't know how to organize.

"Dr. Cuddy…" Blair started in a sorrowful tone on the other line, using her surname and title as the situation probably called for it. She didn't have to pretend Cuddy didn't hear everything because she was a hundred and one percent sure she did.

Internally scrambling to collect her thoughts but failing at doing so, Cuddy finally, albeit reluctantly settled on saying, "I'm sorry, I have to go," she said and without waiting for Blair to even reply or stop her, she was off the hook in a heartbeat.

Cuddy stared off into space a few minutes later. Upon hanging up she tried to bury herself in work but wasn't able to do so thus resolving to just think about what just occurred.

Blair had been keeping it from her all this time. And she had the gall to even call her, ask her for help, act like her friend, and what did it make her look like?

A complete idiot.

But Cuddy, or at least a part of her, wanted to continue believing that Lexi Blair wasn't a user and was genuine in her attempts to befriend her.

Of course, having House pressure her into not telling her that he was working for her would make sense since House didn't want to be found by her, of all people.

Was he _that _desperately trying to distance himself from her? Probably yes, seeing as he jumped on a plane and left! Why?! Her mind screamed in question. He was an idiot and a coward, the real Cuddy in her snarled.

"Hey, your secretary was worried, she said you've been staring off into oblivion," Wilson said as he peeped in and saw that she was indeed staring off into space.

Cuddy licked her lips and looked at him with those sapphire eyes, "House is in Vancouver," she announced.

To say Wilson was surprised was an understatement. He stared at Cuddy like she's grown two heads while he processed what she just informed him.

House was in Canada?!

"How did you find out? Are you sure?" Wilson asked her moments later, brows furrowed in confusion but inside he was reeling. They finally knew where he was!

"He's working for Blair," Cuddy told him.

"How?" Wilson asked, more to himself but he didn't realize he very much audibly said it.

"I don't know, Wilson! He has connections we don't even know about!" Cuddy snapped at him but then her voice softened again both in apology and continuation of the discovery, "I heard his voice loud and clear. He was arguing about a procedure with a doctor. He's still sarcastic, but his words held reason. With me he usually just guilt me into agreeing until he finds the proof. He was right there, in Blair's office."

"Where you just with Dr. Blair on the phone?" Wilson asked. Cuddy nodded and looked helplessly at him. "What did you say? " he inquired.

"Nothing. I was too stunned for words, Wilson. What could I have said?" Cuddy told him, her voice now much calmer as she had someone to talk to about it.

"We'll meet him soon enough, Cuddy. Three weeks." Wilson said with a small smile as he stood up.

"Mark your calendar with a big, big heart hooked with a cane," he joked as he patted Cuddy's shoulder for reassurance.

"You forget he doesn't use one anymore," Cuddy corrected with a chuckle.

Wilson naughtily waggled his eyebrows at her in an attempt to make her feel positive about her—their—new discovery as he spoke, "I was talking about his _other cane_, mind you," he said mischievously.

Cuddy's mouth formed into a circle and slowly turned into a full blown lopsided grin as she propped her chin on her hand and looked at him, feigning disgust, "That was terrible!"

Wilson chuckled, "Nice visual for you, though," he said, making her cringe in thought, "Dirty, dirty mind, Cuddy."

"Can't blame me now, can you?" Cuddy said.

"Wilson!" she said when Wilson was on his way to exit her office.

"Yeah?" Wilson asked, turning to look expectantly at her.

"Thanks," Cuddy said, not specifying anything.

Wilson gave her a small smile and nodded, closing the door behind him as he exited.

Surprising herself, Cuddy marked the date. January 23. And with the help of Wilson's cheesy high-schooler-in-love advice, she did mark it with a heart, sans the cane.

Sobering, Cuddy thought of how she ended the call with Blair. Hopefully she get to work things out with her. After all, she probably had been looking out for House in her own way, seeing as he hasn't self-destructed yet and was doing fine considering he was working.

* * *

_**VBCTH, January 1, 10 pm**_

He knew he'd be dismembered if the Blair-witch found out he's been drinking his ass off and the coming into work as he waited for the patient to respond to the new meds they placed the kid under.

House was seated on the staircase a little tipsy but not obviously so, dribbling his new grey and red oversized tennis ball when he saw his second favorite dean of medicine and hospital administrator racing towards her office with a hand on her right cheek, her head lowered uncharacteristically, ignoring everyone who greeted her.

House furrowed his brows as he made his way towards her office but at the last minute, he took a detour to the clinic and got an icepack just to make sure his guess was right.

"Knock, knock," he childishly said at the same time as he did knock on her office door.

"Not now, House!" her pained voice tried to strongly stop him from walking in on her.

Well, of course, the more you stopped House, the more he pushed.

Opening the door, House couldn't believe that he was seeing what was in front of him.

Blair was on her office couch, forcing herself to stop crying as she kept a palm on her cheek, nursing it as best she can without any cold compress.

House felt something in his gut clench at the sight of her so weak like that. He knew then that Blair really wasn't just his boss, but already a friend, a friend he wanted to protect from getting hurt anytime. Blair had been standing up for him when he needed her and when he was right and he thought now would be a good time to repay his debt.

He walked towards were she was seated and sat beside her, cupping her chin and pressing the compress gently to her face.

"Badass boyfriend?" he asked with a minute grin.

"Yes, badass boyfriend," she told him on a flinch.

"Sorry," House apologized, "Told you he was screwed up."

"He's not—"

"He is. Hitting a woman makes a man screwed up and… undeserving," House then said as he assessed the black and purple bruise that was very visible on her right cheek. He didn't know whether it was punched or slapped though as he tried to look at it better, angling her cherubic face.

"Did you hit Cuddy?" Blair asked quietly, reluctant to even ask him that question. She felt that House wasn't the type of guy to ever hit a woman but since he was talking about how wrong it was and being so serious about it, she just thought that maybe… he did.

House looked at her horrified by the thought as he shook his head, "I have been taught well, thank you!" He told her then a little offended, remembering his father's words about never hitting a woman. Then again, he was talking seriously about it. Thank God he was still coherent from all the drinks he had.

"Sorry, I… well, I just got curious," Blair apologized and explained.

She then looked him in the eyes as she said, "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you since the other day… I just… didn't know what to say or how I should—"

"It's okay," House then exhaled.

Erroneous move. A very wrong, wrong move!

And all the composure and empathy just slipped from his boss' face as it turned to that of his famed nickname for her. "Are you drunk?! And in my hospital?!" there goes the shrieking harpy embedded in this woman's genetic code, House thought.

Thank God for that bruise on her face, House thought when she immediately kept quiet, grimacing from the pain on her cheek. She opted to seethe at him with her light blue eyes as she fumed internally but cursed at what Jason did to her.

"Cat got your tongue?" House mocked.

Blair's eyes widened at his taunting, "Clinic duty everyday for a week, even with a patient. Two hours a day. Talk again you're getting two weeks and four hours. Do that again and I'll personally see to it that you stay in the clinic as an attending, all day," she threatened at him, daring him to counter, her eyes as cold as steel as she made his sentence known.

House sighed. Well, now that that was over and done with, he had some first aid to do. Carefully, he took hold of the cold compress she snatched from him a while ago and set it aside before cupping her cheek again.

"Is it that bad?" Blair mumbled, no point in keeping herself angry. He already got his due punishment and has released her steam, although in an indecorous but still productive way.

"What did he do?" House asked her seriously, trying to feel around the bruises to check if anything was misplaced, particularly bones. There were no doubts that the strength of a man's hand on a woman's face was damaging. Not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well.

"I don't want to talk about it, House," Blair muttered.

"He punched you?"

"No!" Blair negated as she looked at House, not wanting to dissect what happened.

House put down the cold compress and put his hands on his lap.

"Blair, I want you to know you can trust me," he genuinely said, using her recent words on her, as he looked into her despaired blue orbs.

"Can you please drive me home?" Blair shyly requested. She was having a headache because of the pain and she was in such a state of shock that she drove to the nearest place she knew which was her hospital. She knew she must have been such a sight to behold earlier but who wouldn't? Her face was so pink due to the pain and shame of having chosen to go to her hospital. But she knew the hospital was the safest choices since she was trembling as she drove away from her lover's apartment.

Without putting much of a trouble for her having asked so boldly, and knowing that her nerves were probably still taking a toll on her, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

"Got your stuff?" House asked her, his voice low.

Blair nodded, "I didn't even bring anything with me… just these car keys," she told him, extending her hand to drop the keys in his awaiting hand.

"I'll just get my backpack from the office. I'm pretty sure you'd want me to sober up if I had to return to the hospital," House muttered after getting the keys from her.

"Oh and nothing's broken, you're going to have to cover that bruise with many layers of concealer, though," House sarcastically told her.

"I know, smartass," Blair retorted as she walked towards her office's private bathroom. She washed her face, making sure she didn't touch her cheek.

About fifteen minutes later they headed out to Blair's car, ignoring the intrigued, concerned, and confused faces from their colleagues as they headed out of the hospital and walked to the parking lot.

"You drive this?" House asked her, surprised that she wasn't using a plain Sedan.

Blair shot him a look, "What? It's a hybrid, and I love it," she said, patting the glossy black Toyota Prius gently as she went to the passenger's side and got in it when House unlocked the car.

House was impressed. She was using a hybrid. And when he got on he then stared… how would he start this, exactly?

And instead of playing with him, probably because she really, really wanted to go home and rest, Blair took the keys from him and started the car which was very quiet, much to House's amusement.

He was pretty much used to his old, noisy run-down car.

"Sure you can drive? I mean, you did have a lot to drink," Blair said, not sure if she was more concerned for him or herself. Maybe both.

House then drove off and headed to Blair's house, of course, with her help on the directions since House still hasn't seen it let alone been there yet.

House and Blair had their share of laughs in the car when House stopped several times, thinking that the car just stopped and that it wasn't working when in fact it was, it turned out the car was just too quiet for him since he humored Blair and allowed her to talk about the preparations for the seminar, giving her time to be distracted from thinking of her "honey buns" as House teased at some part of their conversations in the car.

"Park at that sidewalk, my house's to the right," Blair pointed. She sighed in relief when she didn't see Jason's Audi parked in the walkway to her garage.

"You bought it?" House said, a little astounded when he saw her Victorian style house. The streetlight illuminated it, giving it a very homey aura.

"No," Blair said as she got out of the car, "my parents had it built to look like a real Victorian house when they got married. Well, of course they had some adjustments so that it'll be more spacious. It's mine now, though. They gave it to me and decided to stay at Ontario 'cause we have another property there." She continued and shrugged as she waited for him to hop out of her car.

Walking a few feet away from her doorstep, something caught her eye and she froze.

"What's wrong?" House asked upon noticing her tensed posture.

"He's inside, House… he's… Oh God. He'll be on his way out in seconds!" Blair said, stuttering in apprehension.

House immediately stepped in front of her and just at that moment, the door to Blair's house slammed open, revealing a well-toned six foot man with brown hair. Well, House never thought he'd think about it other than for himself but he had to admit, the man had looks. And he was obviously younger than House.

"Why did you have to give him a key?" House muttered under his breath, knowing that Blair would hear him.

He felt her hand collide with his back and he smirked, "Shut up!" he heard her hiss.

"Lexi! Who the hell is he?" Jason's green eyes blazed in fury.

"I'm her employee," House answered.

"I don't care who you are. And you're her employee so know your place," Jason barked, lowering his voice a notch as to not call any attention from the neighbors.

"Jason, please… just go home," Blair mumbled, moving towards him escaping the security of House's back.

Jason took a step towards her but she back against House's chest and House stood her upright by the shoulders, preventing her to fall.

"Get your hands off her and leave!" Jason seethed, hating to see the older guy's hands on her.

"Jason, please, just go!" Blair tried as best she could to keep her voice from cracking as she desperately begged him to just leave her.

"So what? He can have his way with you?!" Jason exclaimed, his fuse breaking. He then ignored Blair who he angrily set aside as he grabbed the lapels of House's jacket and stared the taller man dead in the eye.

Electric blue and jealous, livid green clashing as they stared each other down.

"Hitting a woman makes you less than a man," House then dignifiedly spoke calmly, his voice laced with a raging undertone of anger.

"Oh yeah? Stealing another man's woman doesn't make you any less better than I am, then!" he yelled, shoving House then lunging to punch him in the face. Flesh connecting to bone with a loud thwack as he hit House square in the bridge of his nose, causing the older man to fall on his back. Blair glanced at him but she knew he'd live.

Knowing she was most probably going to wash her dirty laundry in public, she took a breath and took the risk as she knew the victory she was sure to achieve would be well worth it in the end.

"Stop it! Jason! He's just a friend!" Blair said and defended, stopping him from coming any closer to House for another hit by pushing her hands on his chest and then holding back his hand. "This is why it's over between us! You just can't hit people! Your temper and your indulgence of alcohol makes your judgment cloudy. And when you think you're right, you don't care about anything else. I loved you! I loved you… yet you hit me," Blair said, her voice from high to low as her own words made her realize how blind she's been, she then met those green eyes, "You hit me for what? Working too much? Which you thought was me having an affair. And for what? Not having been around much these days because of work and a small argument! You've known me so long yet you don't trust me enough to know that I would never cheat on you." She said, tears forming in her eyes but she didn't allow them to fall, not just yet. She won't give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry at what she wished, and wanted, was their last meeting.

"I'm sorry… I was drunk, I didn't know what I was saying," Jason apologized, and Blair wanted to believe him but she was too scarred already. "I never meant to hurt you," Jason said as he took another step towards her but House already stepped in between them.

"The point is that you did," House gruffly stated.

"Lexi…" Jason beseeched, ignoring House, "I love you."

Blair shook her head. She couldn't allow this to happen again. House held her shoulders as he lead her to her house.

"Jason, just… please. Please leave. I don't want this anymore. I have had enough," Blair said to his face when she gently pushed House's hands from her shoulder and approached the man she's learned to love for six months.

"Can't we—"

Blair shook her head, pained, "No… Jason, we can't," she cut him off.

She gave him one last kiss on the lips, running her hands gently on his smooth cheek then unwrapping his hands from around her, "Please go." She said, her final words to the man who caught her heart but broke it either way.

Jason nodded, his head hung low in defeat, "Goodbye Lexi," he whispered before he started walking away from her. From what they had, which he destroyed with his idiocy. What hurt was that all of it was his undoing. And he hated himself because of it.

Lexi made her way to her door and just took House's arm and pulled him wordlessly into the kitchen, pushing him down on a seat in front of her island counter.

She then went to her first aid kit and brought it with her to the kitchen. She got a cloth and wet it, squeezing the excess water from it before positioning herself in front of him.

Without talking, she wiped his face, starting with his nose, which had a small smear of dried blood, gently cleaning the surface.

House felt awkward being so near to her, she was beyond his personal space. Then again, he was too, earlier.

Finally working on the bridge of his nose, Blair put on gauze after applying medication to it. Thank goodness it wasn't broken, House thought.

"Thank you." Blair said, her eyes lowered, ashamed that he had to see what she was trying hard to hide. And she was pretty sure a fair amount of her neighbors must have seen it too.

"You okay?" House asked out of courtesy, patting the side of her arm.

Thinking of everything then and the small gesture at comforting her caused her to finally break down, allowing the dam to her emotions break and tears started cascading down her face.

House was beyond uncomfortable now. He was tipsy, but still coherent. Yet he was never one to be in situations like this. He didn't know what to do. She reminded him of how Cuddy had cried on him. Her eyes, beautiful eyes, once full of life, now dull as she looked at him. Blair's straight and layered hair scattered and unruly, probably with all the drama that just happened in front of her house. She was still beautiful though.

Blair planted her face on his shoulder, her body wracking from sobs as she let herself confide in him, his silence already comfort. He was a friend even more now, surely. He had stood up for her, protected her, cared for her bruise when her ex didn't even ask if she was okay... only apologized to her. She now loved Gregory House because of this, but loved him more than a friend she didn't.

House allowed her comfort, pulling her to him to just let her cry. He had nowhere to go anyway.

He closed his eyes as he let his mind drift off to that fateful day. The day when his life changed with the decisions he then made. But he let his mind wander even before that, remembering the woman who owned him; mind, body, and soul.

This day might just have proved absolutely draining as he sunk his nose down to her hair, letting himself take in her vanilla scent. Why did this woman remind him so much of her? Her eyes, her body, her position at the hospital, and how she treated him. Why does she treat him like he was more than what he shows? Like she could see through him what others most definitely didn't.

Just like Cuddy.

"House?" her voice called to him and he opened his eyes, reveling, drowning in those confused light blue eyes, a shade lighter than _hers _and a shade darker than his.

Without so much as a thought, his eyes involuntarily closed and his left hand lightly-if not at all, traced the bruise high up her right cheek, tucking a few stray hair from her face. All he saw was _her _even with his eyes screwed shut_. _

Blair was torn into pulling away and leaning towards him. But she couldn't do either, she was glued to her spot. She watched his lips, closing in on hers and she was powerless to stop either of them as she stayed still. Her eyes glanced at his features.

She then and there knew that they were of the same disposition; hurting and thinking of other people while together; thinking of what they did wrong, what they haven't and should have seen all along.

Closing her eyes, she understood that maybe… just maybe, this would help them heal.

Then she felt them, his lips, warm on hers, kissing her softly, delicately, as if she would break at the slightest abrupt movement. She didn't kiss back, knowing she wasn't who he was thinking of at all. Though she never knew what he saw in her that he could relate to _her._

And then his lips parted ever so slightly, feeling hers more, the suppleness of her cherry lips. House cupped her cheek and it amazed her how gentle he was, how… god-like and human at the same time. Not the way he kissed her, but something… something she couldn't quite place her finger on.

He kissed her in what seemed like eternity but was in fact, just less than a minute, not even taking too long since his pace was so slow. She allowed herself to kiss him back, in gratitude—not in want, she told herself-- which was the truth.

She opened her eyes and gently, critically, pushed him a fraction from her, allowing herself to gaze up into those heavenly blue orbs full of longing… for _her. For Lisa Cuddy._

House just gazed at her, not knowing what to say about what he just did. Not knowing if he should apologize or anything. Though he was pretty sure, with what just happened, that Cuddy would always be ingrained in his memory, every bit of her, every description, every memory.

"You'll see her soon, House." Blair told him, hugging him as she wrapped her arms around him and smiled, "Call her," she whispered soothingly.

"I don't—"

"You do, Greg," she said, his first name not going unnoticed by him and he sighed.

"Is it the right thing to do?" he husked on a breath.

"It's probably always been, ever since. Reach out to her now… you'll see her soon," Blair said, patting his back as she finally pulled away.

"Take my car keys and go home, you look like hell," she quipped, lightening up the mood.

"You don't look like heaven, yourself," House quipped, smirking but then reached up to hold the bridge of his nose, groaning in pain and making Blair laugh. "Masochist," he muttered, getting the keys from her island.

"Teaches you not to mess with me with a broken nose," she said with a smirk.

They silently walked towards Blair's veranda and she looked up at him gratefully. Getting on the tip of her covered toes, she placed a delicate kiss on his cheek before looking at him tenderly. "Thank you for all the help tonight, House. You're a great friend." She genuinely told him, squeezing his arm, "I'm sorry for the nose."

"Sorry you lost your honey buns," he teased sarcastically.

"I gained a teddy bear," Blair mocked sweetly, looking up at him.

House's eyes widened, "I am NOT a teddy bear!" he negated with an incredulous scoff.

"Ever heard of the Care Bears? You're my jerky, Grumpy bear, then," she corrected teasingly.

Making her laugh even more, House furrowed his brows and pouted, obviously pissed. But how could she help it if he really looked like one of her top three Care Bears?

She internally rolled her eyes at herself. Her nieces and nephews surely did a number on her with the Care Bear addiction. Guessed she just had to deal.

"Goodnight, House." She said, giving him one final hug. Before shoving him to get going with a small smile on her face.

"You sure you about the car?" House asked, dangling the keys.

"I'll take a cab," she assured and gestured for him to get going. It was already midnight.

Now why did she only have a big sister and not an elder brother? Having House as that would be fun, she thought.

"Be sure to put on a bucketful of liquid concealer tomorrow!" House called out over his shoulder, making the woman in Lexi Blair stamp her foot like a child, turning on her heel and closing the door loudly. But a few seconds later, she watched with a smile on her face as her Grumpy Bear drive off from her living room window, setting aside her curtain.

_**

* * *

**_

House's condominium unit, 12:30 am

Should he really call now? She was probably asleep. The three-hour time difference was telling him that. Blair told him to call. And he really wanted to do so too. But he was certain that he didn't know what to say, what to tell her.

Glancing down at his cell, he slowly inputted her number, knowing very well that if he did call, his number would register. But what did it matter? She already knew where he was, and he was meeting her… and Wilson… in three weeks.

As he input her number, he closed his eyes and pressed the call button…

And waited.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: There! Love it, like it, hate it?

_**Please let me know what you think! :D**_

_Much as I wanted to continue, this chap totally had like, 7,067 words already…_

_**The chapter after the next one will most definitely be the conference… **_

**_Now, show me some love! lol_**


	14. Call on Me

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. **_

_**A/N:**_ This one's a little late cause I've been sick this entire day while writing this… anyway, it's up now so enjoy! :D

_*Gives each and every one of you a very, very BIG hug* Thank you so much for the response to the previous chapter! I feel so loved, and so does the muse who's like, overflowing with ideas! Lol!_

_Wow… I'm so touched by everyone's support. _

Oh and Absence has passed the 300 mark! For only 14 chaps! This would not have been possible without every one of you… so, thank you so much.

_**In celebration of passing the 300 mark, I give you a long Huddy convo… Prepare to *squeal*… lol, I know I did. **_

_Another shout out to Lexi, aka Bree in Diamonds! Thanks for the brainstorming again! Lol _

_**Enjoy! We're nearing the meeting of our favorite unsinkable ship!**_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

* * *

_**CHAPTER 13: CALL ON ME**_

_**.**_

_As he input her number, he closed his eyes and pressed the call button._

_And waited._

Holding the bridge of his nose, House stood up and made his way to the terrace of his condo unit as he waited for the other line to ring. Sliding the door open, he managed to ease the rapid beating of his heart at the view before him, streetlights lighting up the streets below, the lamps along the seaside where the yachts were docked illuminated the water while it drizzled in the cold January midnight.

Sitting down, he gazed at the moon in all its glory, casting a mesmerizing reflection atop the sea while clouds went on by. This was one of the few things he liked about the place he's staying at now. It offered him a peace of mind with the use of nature's natural calming power whenever he needed a breath of fresh air and clear his mind despite the cold.

He sat down on the couch outside and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, propping him forward as he kept his eyes on the sea.

A few seconds more later it rang.

Once… twice… thrice… She wasn't going to answer. She was surely asleep, he thought. Three more times it continued ringing… and he thought he'd just try again in the morning. Sighing, House pressed the end key and stared for a while.

Shaking his head, he gathered what he'd tell her.

What was he _supposed_ to tell her? He didn't even know. He just wanted to hear her voice. And more… He's long wanted to know how she really was, wanted to let her know he actually missed her. But what was that what he's really going to tell her? Did she even want to hear from him? Why was it so hard to think of anything to say?

He gazed down at his cell phone, his brows furrowed thinking whether she'll answer or remain asleep while he called.

Once again pressing the call button, he took a deep breath and was surprised at mentally crossing his fingers for her to answer. The sound of her voice would mean so much to him already. He was thirsting for the sound of her voice… her laugh mostly.

But what was there to laugh about? He hadn't done or even said something even relatively close to making her laugh or crack a smile in months. He's just caused her pain, not sparing her drama.

Caught in his own thoughts and reminiscing, he barely heard the other line ring. And when it stopped, he snapped out of his own world and realized that she had picked up but not immediately asking who was calling or what the caller wanted, probably still trying to wipe sleep from her eyes.

"Hello?" yes, he woke her up, he comprehended upon hearing her low, raspy voice. And he didn't fully realize that he's missed her voice even more than he admitted to himself until he heard it again at that moment.

"Hello?" he heard her say again, a little more awake than when she first answered.

Not bothering how obvious the answer was, he answered. "Hey… Did I wake you?" House opted for a slightly casual greeting, his uneasiness apparent.

Cuddy's heart swelled upon hearing his voice. Could she be dreaming? She sat up in bed, repositioning her pillows so that she had something to lean on. She didn't know whether to smile or cry upon hearing his deep voice. She moved up her bed, tucking her chin under her knees as she fiddled with the duvet that ran down to her toes while her other hand held her phone.

She was too lost in the bliss of hearing his voice that she barely recognized the awkwardness it held. She was just happy to hear from him. No—she wasn't happy, she was in raptures. Plain and simple.

She didn't realize she's been reveling on his first words and greeting until he spoke again, pulling her out of her daze. "Cuddy… you there?" he asked, his voice obviously nervous.

"House…" she said with a smile he could have heard. He didn't know how but he felt like a huge weight was lifted from his chest with that greeting alone.

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten on the first plane here and jumped me," he said with a diminutive, nervous laugh, his boyish grin noting his mischievousness. God, he missed doing this to her.

Cuddy smiled and bit her lip, forcing herself to not cry from emotion. He called her! She didn't give a damn that he did so at… 3:45 am, she thought as she glanced at her bedside clock. She's longed to hear him say things like what he just did to her for months!

"You called…" she sensitively murmured and trailed off as a tear cascaded on her cheek which she quickly wiped at.

House kept silent. How did he answer to that?

Cuddy inwardly sighed while she tried to recollect herself and admit what she felt whilst he still wasn't in a rush to hang up and seemed not to be interested in hanging up soon. "House." She softly spoke, wanting to make sure that he was listening to her and not staring off into space while she poured out her heart.

"I'm here," House whispered… and he certainly had no idea how those two words lifted Cuddy up in a cloud even if she was aware that he just said that he was still on the line.

"I miss you," Cuddy confessed softly, longingly. It was a new but liberating feeling having told him that. She didn't know how he'd respond to it but she hoped he wouldn't run anymore. He's already ran so far, or so she thought.

House's heart clenched at that declaration. How could she have missed _him_? After everything he's done? She _really_ missed him?

"You missed me," House repeated dumbly, "Why?" Okay, that was a stupid question. But it was puzzling him to no end. What had he done right for her to miss him? Although there was no question that _he _missed her.

Cuddy furrowed her brows. He seriously asked her why she missed him? He must have assumed that not only did she hate him, he might have assumed she loathed him!

"I do, House. I never wanted you gone!" Cuddy answered earnestly. For one, she couldn't believe that he doubted her, second, she was hurt that he was indeed thinking that she despised him—his silence was enough an answer for her.

"I never wanted to," House whispered almost inaudibly. But Cuddy heard it and she couldn't help but release the tears that have threatened to fall the moment she heard his voice on the other line.

House let out a heavy sigh upon hearing her sniffling on the other line and he dropped his head and he rubbed his face with one palm. "How are you?" he chose to ask after a moment of silence.

"House, don't deflect! Please…" Cuddy pleaded on a breath.

"Cuddy, what do you want me to say?" House inquired her in a desperate voice.

"I don't know…" she replied sincerely.

"I don't want to talk about what happened over the phone, if that's what you want," House then said, his voice starting to retain it natural gruffness.

"House… if only you'd have let me speak the last time, you would have known that…" Cuddy paused, taking a deep breath and then releasing it, "you didn't—don't, have to apologize for anything. It wasn't your—"

"It _was, _Cuddy! And you know that! I'm even surprised you haven't hung up on me!" House then stated, his voice low and full of certainty.

Cuddy's brows furrowed as she dangerously clutched the duvet on her feet and told him, "House, I never would have hung up on you! I was so worried when we didn't have any contact with you!" she said.

"There's no question as to what you would have done then."

"Stop drawing your own conclusions, House!" Cuddy said, her voice breaking.

"It's the truth!" House answered, exasperated.

"It's not, House! Could you please, just please, listen to me?" her frustrated voice implored him. She was right, he thought, he has indeed been drawing his own conclusions, blinding his judgment. But that was better than hearing the actual truth, right? At that moment, he didn't know.

"House…" her soft imploring voice called to him when he remained silent.

"Still here," House mumbled, conflicted.

Cuddy sighed in relief or in exasperation, she didn't know. "I'm tired of this…" she opened up, her voice barely audible but amidst the quiet midnight from where House was, he heard her and immediately felt the gut-wrenching powers of guilt take hold of it. He hated guilt. It made him feel so vulnerable. But he guessed he should have seen this coming.

"I'm sorry… Cuddy, I—"

"What happened, happened," she cut him off gently before he could say anything else, "and you don't have to apologize, nor do I want you to because what happened wasn't under your control or mine."

"I don't know what else to say," House honestly told her, his voice soft as he spoke, fragile even.

Cuddy smiled small as she thought of something. "Say you'll come back… Say you'll come home," she suggested, the smile never leaving her lips.

Shaking his head, lost in his own thoughts, House replied, "Come home to what?" he asked seriously. Did she still honestly trust him after everything? After all he's did? Yes, she must have long forgiven him for everything but could there still be anything between them after that? He knew he couldn't make her happy because she deserved so much better than him. He held his breath, waiting for her answer. _What _answer was he even expecting anyway? He thought.

"To me…" Cuddy replied, choking back a sob then emitted a chuckle as her smile brightened a little on the thought of him with her again. Of how they could try and make things better between them, and actually try for a relationship.

Although he knew she fought off sobbing, her strained jovial chuckle went down to his heart and wrapped around it but the man in him didn't understand this woman at all, or how she could possibly forgive all his ills towards her. And how he loved her even more that she wanted to be with him, no matter what the reason—as much as he would have scoffed or answered sarcastically over his current thoughts, he didn't. Upon nature, he started, "Why would—"

"I love you, House…" she tenderly professed, wrenching his heart out from its cavity at the way she said it, making him want to punch himself even more for what he did to her. Did she _really _just say that or was he just dreaming? His heart which has calmed down for some time jumped back to life, making his breathing a little more laborious. Sighing inwardly he thought how she could have loved him despite everything. It was overwhelming and lifting at the same time.

"Despite everything?" House found himself audibly asking, his voice an octave lower if that was even possible.

Her quiet laughter was like music to his ears. "Despite everything… I do, House." She said, amazed and amused at how she could easily tell him this now. She was sure that she would have had a very hard time saying it to him had not this not happened, "You would have found out the last time if you hadn't hung up on me…" she then melancholically murmured, trailing off.

"I'm—"

"House! Seriously, enough with the apologies… it's starting to creep me out!" she scolded mirthfully.

Letting loose, House took a deep breath and exhaled quietly. How could he have left this woman alone for moths? He asked himself, regretting that he did but at the same time thankful that he had. Why he regretted leaving was obvious. He was thankful though, because if he hadn't left, he wouldn't have known what he was missing out on, wouldn't have met Blair, wouldn't have known really just how much Cuddy meant to him and how much he needed her just as he thought she probably did.

"I love you too," House opted to tell her now, genuinely, softly, and in no rush at all. She deserved that.

Cuddy's heart fluttered at that and she let out a few happy tears. They were being open to one another. It was a surreal conversation they were having but they didn't care.

"So… Vancouver?" Cuddy started after a few moments of comfortable silence, "Why there?"

House shrugged even if she couldn't see it, "First place someone recommended."

"Where are you now?" she asked curiously.

"Condominium unit," House answered nonchalantly, peacefully gazing at the moon's reflection on the sea.

Surprised, Cuddy arched a brow in amusement, " You actually bought one?"

"Rented," House corrected.

"Is it nice?"

"It's got a view," House whispered, lost in the soothing of talking to her and the sight before him, "I'll show it to you on the seminar."

Cuddy smiled, already anticipating that date. She couldn't wait anymore, in fact. "What if I boarded the next plane now so you could show it to me soon?" she joked.

"Patience, Cuddy," House teased with a laugh which then turned into a smirk Cuddy could practically envision, "Besides, you wouldn't leave your hospital un-administrated." He added. Cuddy shrugged in response, he was right about that, she thought.

"Make sure you bring thick clothes…" House started softly but then added, "Wouldn't want your ass to freeze."

"Good to hear you're back House," Cuddy laughed quietly.

"How's your leg?" Cuddy hesitantly asked after deliberating the question.

"PT's working great. No limp, no pain."

"You've actually taken Physical Therapy?" Cuddy asked surprise.

"Didn't have much to do, I thought I might as well go for it," House shrugged.

"That's great, House, I'm happy to hear that," Cuddy said with a small smile. She then yawned causing House to furrow his brows.

"You should get back to sleep," he suggested. No point in hiding his soft, caring voice.

"It's okay…" Cuddy said, shaking her head, "It's Saturday."

"Cuddy…" House started on a sigh, "I won't go running off anywhere again."

"It's not that… I just, I just want to talk more," Cuddy said truthfully.

"We'll talk more soon… I promise, I'll call you," House promised. He wanted to talk more as well but he had a lot of processing to do and he still had to work the next day since his patient was still undergoing observation.

Reluctantly, Cuddy nodded as she spoke, "You promise?" she asked seriously.

"Yes," House answered truthfully.

"Okay…" she said. "House?" she called, he told her he was listening.

"Thank you… for everything. For calling most of all…" she said, wholeheartedly appreciating this move on his part.

"You're welcome… Goodnight, Cuddy," he said, just waiting for her to reciprocate before he hung up.

"Goodnight, House," she whispered with a small smile. "And House?" she then hurried to garner his ear for her next words.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she said endearingly and lovingly with a smile.

House gave a genuine, quiet laugh. "Xoxo Cuddy…" he teased dryly.

"House!" she whined with a pout. She was milking this all she could since they were being so open.

"Okay, okay…" House amusedly acquiesced, "I love you too, Cuddy," he said with affection.

"Thank you… Night House," she said.

"Night…" House said and then reluctantly pressing down the end key.

A rare, serene smile spread across his face as he anticipated seeing her again at the seminar. A warm feeling wrapped around his heart at her words. And that he was able to open up to her as well. Things were turning out great. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

That night, Cuddy placed her phone on her nightstand and buried herself under the duvet, a smile plastered on her face as she closed her eyes and dreamed of _him. _

_**

* * *

**_

VBCTH, January 2, 5 pm

"I suppose you called her?" Blair asked with a smile as she entered his office and stood at the doorway with her arms crossed in front of her.

House nodded.

"And?" she prompted.

House raised an eyebrow at her, "It's none of your business, Snoopy." He smirked.

"Now you know how it feels. Anyway, stop diverting the topic. What happened?" she asked, very much interested.

"Everything's forgiven, although not much forgotten," House said in the simplest way.

"Told you," she said smugly with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get too full of yourself," he snarked at her. Darn, she was right, having your personal life dissected like a frog was annoying.

"You'll see her soon, Grumpy," Blair teased as she started to turn around and walk out.

"You missed a spot with the concealer!" House called out as payback, causing his team to look at Blair who just sent a death glare his way and huffed out, her rubber shoes quietly and quickly walking off towards the nearest bathroom as he predicted.

_**

* * *

**_

VBCTH, Blair's office, January 5, 1 pm

"I wanted to apologize for not having told you earlier," Blair said in greeting to Cuddy when the dean picked up.

"Why keep it?" Cuddy asked curiously.

"He didn't want anyone from New Jersey to know," Blair honestly answered.

"How did he get through without references and a recommendation?" Cuddy asked with an arched brow at the other line.

"Well… His name _is _very much a pass already," Blair answered.

"Good point," Cuddy mumbled.

"Lisa, I'm really sorry… I hated myself, actually. But if it does make you feel better, I asked him to call you three nights ago," Blair said, scrunching up her face like a kid with one eye squinted as she waited for Cuddy to answer.

"Really?" Cuddy asked, amused, "And he listened to you."

"Well, considering the circumstances, he did. And I'm glad he did. You'll see each other soon." Blair assured.

"Thank you Lexi," Cuddy answered with a grateful smile.

How Lexi Blair was able to handle House, she probably would never know. But she was glad a strong person was keeping him grounded- as much as you can ground House, Cuddy thought.

They talked more for a while and then conversed about the other things they probably missed out for the seminar.

_**

* * *

**_

House's condo unit, January 18, 9 pm

They've been talking for a while now, not caring how long it took but at a point, Cuddy told him that she was dead-tired from the numerous pile ups and paperwork at the hospital earlier.

"I'll see you soon," House said.

"Would you laugh if I actually circled the date with a heart?" Cuddy laughed as she sat on her couch with her laptop on her side, paperwork ignored.

"Let me guess, Wilson suggested it," House smirked.

"Yes… he also told me to hang a cane on it," Cuddy returned the smirk that he wouldn't even have seen.

"Yet you drew the heart," House said, knowing that she was surely smirking on the other line.

Cuddy laughed. Yes, she did. "Mind your own business!" she humorously reprimanded.

"How's Wilson?" he then asked.

"Missing his partner in crime."

"Tell him that his current girlfriend shouldn't be more important than I am!" House fake-whined in jealousy.

Cuddy laughed, "House… even if he had one, you'd still be his bitch."

"That sounded nasty, Cuddy," House grimaced.

Yawning again signaled House that he should let her go. "Get some rest."

"Yeah, night Grumpy," Cuddy teased, remembering the pet name Blair told her to use on House to get him riled up.

"You just brought upon that Blair-witch her own destruction," House muttered, annoyed. Cuddy laughed on the other line and told him that he had nothing to worry about and that it'll be their little secret.

"Goodnight, Cuddy," House said and then hung up when she did.

Smiling to herself, Cuddy fixed her files. She'll see him in a few days.

House, sitting on his couch in front of the muted monster truck rally rerun, smiled.

He'll see her in five days. Five days more.

He couldn't wait.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Who else couldn't wait? Raise your hand/s!

Let me know what you think guys! Leave a rev on your way out :D

_**Needless to say, the next chap is the start of the conference!**_


	15. In Your Arms

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Public and private establishments mentioned are also not mine. **_

_**A/N:**_ I want to thank everyone who reads and reviews Absence as well as my other stories! You guys are the best!

And to those who reviewed the last chapter of Absence, the number of the reviews made my heart overflow with joy! And so I just had to complete this chapter tonight despite the fact that I'm sleepy and have class later 7:30 am… it's now 2:00 am, from where I am. I hope you like it!

_**Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey **_

**Alas, the chapter everyone's been waiting for since the world began! Lol**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 14: IN YOUR ARMS

_**.**_

_**VBCTH, Blair's office, January 23, 6 pm**_

"House, stop fidgeting with that tie; it's fine!" Blair scolded smacking away House's hands before he could grasp the fine piece of cloth and untie it in her office's bathroom only to tie it again for what she believe was the fiftieth time in the last hour. She was sure he was to antsy to not even give her a chance to do a final check on her hair and makeup before they headed to the hotel.

House sent her a glare but walked out of the comfort room and sat heavily on her couch, itching to toy with something to project his nervousness on. Not looking at her but instead playing on the decoration on her center table, he told her, "Stop checking yourself out for flaws and stop adjusting your front and back derrières, nobody would even notice they're there," he mocked, projecting his anxiousness there having nothing to fiddle with.

Instead of being at all insulted, Blair just laughed at him. This was the first time she saw him all nerves like this. "I don't think she'd care if all you wore was a potato sack, House. That's how much she misses you," she reassured him as she checked herself a final time. She did not care if he was already burning holes at the back of her head while she tried to console his nerves.

She exited the confines of her private bathroom and stood behind the chair opposite him, her hands patting the soft wood on the sides of it, smiling adoringly sweet as an idea made its way to her genius psyche.

"You're smiling…" House said, brows furrowing in contemplation of her sudden action.

Biting her lip as to not make her smile grow wide, she told him girlishly, "Why don't you pick her up?" she suggested.

House was not able to help himself thus rolling his eyes at her romanticism. "In case you forgot what _you _set up, she'll be at the hotel already," he countered sarcastically.

"Idiot…" Blair said afterwards clicking her tongue, "I meant pick her up from her suite," she clarified.

House thought about it and wanted to agree but he shook his head instead.

"Why not?" Blair frowned.

"You think we'd actually get to go out of the suite if I picked her up? We'll end up talking all night," House quietly told her.

Blair shrugged, "Good point. I wanted you to meet a lot of donors anyway."

"Oh come on!" House whined, standing up as he took hold of the door and opened it wide for her to exit when she went to her desk and picked up her clutch bag.

"What? All donors appear on this night only. I promise you that, House. So please, be at your best behavior," Blair said, patting his arm as she looked up at him when she made her way in front of him.

House merely nodded in consideration. He knew this mattered to her.

And God knows he's had his share of shrieking harpies whenever he pulled something off when donors were near him.

_**

* * *

**_

Pan Pacific Hotel, Cuddy's suite, 5 pm

This couldn't be happening! Cuddy thought as she massaged her temples as if it would help lessen the headache she was experiencing. The first time she gets to meet House in five months, she gets an unbearable headache. She leant her hands on the Italian marble counter in the spacious bathroom while she took a deep breath and stood up straight, heading for the walk in closet adjoined to it to ensure she was ready.

Maybe she just pushed herself past her limit the week before they had to leave. She kept running here and there, making sure everything and everyone was well-oiled in her hospital before she left it in the somewhat capable hands of someone else. She had last-minute meetings with donors, with department heads, and many others two days before she and Wilson left. Also, she tended to her mountains of paperwork, not wanting to leave them in someone else's hands and saving herself the annoyance she'd probably get from what her temporary replacement would do to them.

She gazed at herself in her City Suite's full-length mirror. She was confident that she was stunning enough. The invitations to the party did in fact state that it was a formal acquaintance party so she was sure she wasn't overdressed. She wore her hair up, not down like she usually does, and applied light make up. Certain that she was at her best, outfit and makeup-wise, she went to sit down on the soft and comfortable couch in her suite.

Of course, House has already called her once a few minutes after their arrival time, wanting to make sure, in his own Houseian way, that she and Wilson did land their asses safe and sound. He only asked a few questions and hang up with a simple "I'll see you both tonight." Of course she had no issues with the fact he spoke to her in a flurry. They were both nervous, who could blame them?

She had to get rid of this headache soon, she told herself after feeling it throb while thinking deeply. She's already taken medicine for it but it wasn't going away. Of all the times this could happen, it just had to happen now, she thought. The party wasn't until two hours and thirty minutes. Hopefully by then this monstrous headache would be gone.

She remained seated and contemplated on every possible thing that could happen tonight, which of course didn't help relieve her throbbing head. She had very high expectations though that this night would turn out great. Probably the best she'll have in the last five months or so, when the night's over.

She glanced around the room, taking in its beautiful furniture and the light salmon-colored painting of the room, illuminated gloriously by the ingenious lighting installed in the room. It offered quite a homey feel to it.

Standing up, she gracefully walked to the curtained floor-length windows and set aside the creamy white curtains to reveal the breathtaking view of Vancouver's city skyline. It was drizzling outside and thank goodness the air-conditioning was individually controlled.

Gazing at the skyline, she gasped. The setting sun seemingly rayed her with hope for the coming night while the clouds peacefully gathered in fluffy masses. No more maybes, she concluded:

Tonight was going to be a great night.

_**

* * *

**_

Pan Pacific Hotel, Wilson's suite, 6:30 pm

One hour.

In one, seemingly eternal, hour he'll get to see his best friend again. The thought never crossed him that he'd actually crave to hear the razor-sharp tongue and wit of his great sarcastic, manipulative, childish, and annoying best friend in action.

And Wilson thought of those paradoxical descriptions with all the love in the world.

Blow-drying his damp hair, he anticipated the view of House and Cuddy finally together that night. His two closest—best—friends finally would be together after much years of hiding behind deflection, tension, and lies.

He guessed time does heal all ills, all wounds, and makes the heart grow fonder. Each other's absence from one's lives was the catalyst for this final reunion of the two.

He couldn't be any happier for them.

Smiling and finally satisfied with his blow-dried hair, he made his way to the closet affixed to his bathroom and chose a bowtie instead of a tie. Well, he wanted to be formal as the invitation asked.

Earlier that day, for fun, while on the plane, he made a bet with Cuddy. They bet on whether House would be wearing a tie or bowtie, or not. He chose the latter while Cuddy stuck to the choice that House will be wearing one. She also clarified that she hasn't talked nor asked him about his attire.

He grinned at the possibility of five hundred bucks on his coat pocket by the end of the night. Of course, the pot money didn't go that high without him coaxing her to ride along with that big an amount since it was the first time in more than five months that they'll be seeing their closest friend.

Tying the bowtie, he double checked his appearance once more before exiting the room and making his way to the living room, turning on the plasma TV, opting to watch so he could calm his somewhat tingly nerves at what could be of tonight.

_**

* * *

**_

Pan Pacific Hotel, Vancouver, Crystal Pavilion, 7:45 pm

_**Pre-Seminar Acquaintance Party**_

House has been standing alongside Blair as they welcomed doctors, administrators and chancellors from different known hospitals in different countries for more than fifteen minutes already and he was starting to get bored.

"Planning to torture me the whole evening?" House whispered when the recent guests walked past them.

"Shut up…" Blair hissed quietly as to not gather attention, maintaining her cherubic smile.

They kept welcoming incoming guests and made introductions in the doorway leading to the extravagant Crystal Pavilion of the hotel for a few more minutes when someone made its way to House and hugged him out of the blue while the renowned diagnostician wasn't looking.

"Wilson, get your hands off me or I swear to all things—"

Internally acknowledging that House indeed patted his back for a while, Wilson cut him off with his smirk and said, "My, my, you never changed, have you?" And then he noticed that House was actually wearing a tie. Oh dear lord, he owes Cuddy five hundred bucks, he thought.

"We're being rude, I think," House said, gesturing to Blair beside him in a low voice, not letting his surprise and actual feelings upon seeing his best friend again.

Wilson glanced at Blair then, stunned at how beautiful the woman was. She was tall as well. "I'm sorry," Wilson said, acknowledging her presence and extending his hand to her, "I'm Dr. James Wilson, Head of Oncology at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey." Wilson introduced himself professionally with a smile.

Blair graciously sent him a thousand-watt smile as she took his hand and shook it, introducing herself, "Dr. Lexi Blair, Dean of Medicine and Hospital administrator of Vancouver British Columbia Teaching Hospital. It's great to finally meet you Dr. Wilson, Dr. House has told me great things," she said, her face innocent when he sent a suspicious glance at House beside her.

"Oh don't worry, Dr. Wilson, I've been very professional when I divulged some things," House answered sarcastically.

Blair just rolled her eyes at House and then silence wafted in the area surrounding the trio.

"Where's Cuddy?" House finally asked, looking around anxiously, trying to search for the face he's longed to see.

"She said she'll be down a little late, she's not feeling well," Wilson said, noting that House's face fell upon hearing that Cuddy was sick.

"Is anything wrong?" Blair asked concernedly, her brows furrowing slightly.

"She said she's okay, just a little headache," Wilson informed them.

"Okay…" House trailed off in answer.

"She told me to tell you not to go up, she'll be down in just a while." Wilson said with a smirk, certain that House would be obsessing and concerned about Cuddy's current condition the moment he heard about it.

"It's okay, we'll be starting in a bit so he won't be going anywhere," Blair said, not letting House be gone since he was going to be introduced as the surprise guest speaker for the seminar that night. House just sneered at her and turned around, walking towards the Crystal Pavilion open bar, getting a drink for himself, leaving Wilson with Blair.

"He's quite a handful, isn't he?" Wilson asked Blair as he followed House with his eyes.

Blair gave Wilson an unadulterated smile and turned to leave him where he stood but not before saying, "Not the slightest bit, Dr. Wilson, not the slightest bit."

Wilson stared at the back of her head, surprised. And surprised was an understatement to what he was actually feeling to what she just said. Was House _actually _behaved here? He wondered, as he went inside and looked for the seat with his place card on it.

When everyone got settled, the hotel emcee greeted them all a wonderful evening and called Blair onto the platform. Blair gracefully stood there and spoke in behalf of the host hospital, introduced herself and welcomed everyone. After a brief introduction and opening remarks, she walked down and handed the microphone to her just-introduced surprise guest speaker, Dr. Gregory House.

And of course, she hissed a warning to cut off his genitals the moment he made a crass comment about the people there. House, afraid for the life of his balls, nodded in consideration.

House ended his short introductory speech, without a snide remark against the people, all the while scanning the room for Cuddy. He still didn't see her though.

After the introductions and few chosen speakers, Blair announced that dinner was to be served and that they could all enjoy the night after that. So the people did just that and acquainted themselves with each other.

Blair took hold of House's arm, hooking hers to it and practically hauled him to a group of donors. Before they were three feet closer though, she asked him to use his charms on the old guys so that he doesn't get clinic duty for a week when the seminar was over. Blair's arm hooked on his was just to keep him in a leash, she'll tighten her grip on it if she agrees or not.

Mingling with the donors, Blair squeezed House's arm while she laughed up at him when he just secured more money for the hospital, all the while getting some fantastic deals for himself. Like special access to one of the donor's gold course without having to pay anything at all other than the beverages and stuff.

While laughing, House caught sight of her entering the room but heading off to the veranda probably to get some fresh air. Maybe she really was sick. He furrowed his brows and excused himself. Blair nodded and went back to conversing with other people other than the donors.

There was nobody else in the veranda since it was cold out that night, heck it was always cold out in January evenings there.

House made his way to the veranda, silently walking towards the door. He glanced at her, her arms wrapped around her, her flawless back bared by the moon's gleam. He didn't know what to say if he approached her.

Yes, he's been talking to her for less than three weeks before the seminar but this was face to face. He could just as easily screw this up, screw their first meeting up. He didn't know what to do or how to act.

He then thought of just being himself and not care if it showed him vulnerable. He'd be so for Cuddy; he'd lower his pride for her, lower his walls. She deserved it.

Taking a deep breath, he silently pushed the door open and stealthily walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her tightly and burrowing his face in her neck, taking in the scent that was stuck in his head for months. The moment he held her, his mind took note of ingraining this moment, every pixel, into his memory for storage.

He was fairly surprised that she didn't flinch at all.

"Keeping me warm?" Cuddy tenderly spoke, her voice filled with emotion while her arms instinctively went up to set atop his strong suit-jacket covered limbs.

House was fairly certain that he could draw her smile at that moment into his imagination. Setting his chin on her shoulder House concernedly whispered, "You're not supposed to be out here. You're sick, you should just be resting in your suite," he said, feeling her warm temperature.

Cuddy bit her lip as a tear made its way down her cheek. Never had she imagined that he'd be openly, verbally say his feelings and concerns towards her. And hearing them just now made her heart flutter and overflow with unspeakable joy and content.

"I wanted to see you," Cuddy admitted, turning around and looking him straight in the eyes; those beautiful crystal blue eyes.

House's heart started beating faster in its cavity as he took in her ethereal beauty. She was magnificent, a true masterpiece in her black strapless floor length evening gown with trains from below her knee that were snow-white and transparent. Her curves accentuated with the empire a-line gown. Her shoulders bare; She was flawless.

Her face mesmerized him; minimal makeup, hair up in a neat coif, a few curls let down, framing her angelic face and smile.

"I missed you," House declared shyly. Never would he have thought he'd tell her that face to face. But he did miss her, more than she'll ever know.

Cuddy's smile couldn't have gotten wider and radiant when he said those words. Wrapping her arms around his shoulder, she hugged him tightly as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Good she was wearing minimal makeup and waterproof mascara. "I've missed you so much, House," she whispered after giving his cheek a kiss.

Cuddy looked at him, her eyes not deceiving her when she saw that he was actually wearing a suit. A white jacket at that, with a tie as well. And his tie was a sapphire blue that brought out the best in his cerulean eyes. He was breathtaking, and probably the best she's seen him. She was lost in him that she didn't even think that she won five hundred bucks from Wilson.

House looked down at her, her sapphire eyes reflecting the moon, making her glow. The beautiful lights from the veranda accentuating the beautiful angles of her face.

Hugging her again, House reveled in the perfect feel of her in his arms. They fit best together, he knew then. And he was certain he was never letting go of her again.

They pulled away after quite some time and House cupped her cheeks, affectionately wiping the tracks from where her joyous tears cascaded. She was lost in his eyes from the act. Closing her eyes to take a deep breath, she was surprised when she felt his lips, his soft, warm lips, against hers, kissing her lightly. It could as well have been a peck but the small act made her float on a cloud.

She wanted to kiss him further but he pulled away and leant his forehead onto hers, his eyes still closed; hers open now and taking in his features. He's shaved but still had the stubble, he looked absolutely handsome, and he looked well and healthy. She was overjoyed seeing him like this.

"I think we should get inside, introductions are a must," he whispered, putting his hand on the small of her back, leading her back into the pavilion.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" he asked her after pulling open the door to let her go in first.

Cuddy looked up at him with a very girlish smile, the one she usually used whenever he made something very sweet but was unwilling to take credit for doing so. "I like this side of you… it's creeping me out at the moment but I'm sure I could get used to it," she quipped with a choked sound between a laugh and a sob.

House chuckled at her emotional state at the moment and sighed dramatically. "Enough with the waterworks, woman." Cuddy just shook her head and made sure her face was tear-streaks free, even asking House if she looked okay before they ventured to the pavilion.

Spotting Blair looking at him, he gestured at her with a sway of his head to go over to where they were. Of course, Blair, sensing that her much-anticipated introduction to one Lisa Cuddy was coming up in the next few seconds, showed off her thousand-watt smile all the while making her way towards the two.

Cuddy looked at the woman coming towards them from across the wide Crystal Pavilion. The woman was taller than her, especially in heels, her hair up in a perfect bun, layered bangs cascading the side of her flawless face.

The woman was wearing a blood-red one shoulder evening gown that accentuated her regal form. She could have been cut off a catalogue. Her curves were intact and accentuated. And she had to admit, though, they did look a little bit alike.

"Dr. Blair, yo quiero que conozcas el amor de mi vida, Dr. Lisa Cuddy. No traducir esto por ella si quieres vivir," House introduced Cuddy to Blair in Spanish with a small, mischievous smile as to make Cuddy curious to what he just said about her.

Blair smiled at his words, the romantic in her squealing, which she fully understood. She shrugged, "Por supuesto, House," she said, acknowledging his threat. She then focused her attention to the spectacular and ethereal beauty in front of her.

"Lisa, it's so nice to finally meet you!" Blair said genuinely, hugging her instead of shaking her hand.

House rolled his eyes at the two although he was glad they were getting along.

"Great to finally meet you too, Lexi," Cuddy said when they pulled away from the hug.

"I wanted to thank you so much for helping me out with this," Blair said with a smile, "I couldn't have done it without you."

"You're too kind," Cuddy said returning the smile.

"Are you feeling okay now?" Blair asked her, "You still feel kind of warm though. Why don't you go back to the suite and rest, you must have been tired from all the last-minute handling of things at PPTH."

Cuddy shook her head, "It's okay. I'll be fine, thank you."

"Dr. Blair, the Montgomery's are here to see you," Carmen whispered, excusing herself before speaking.

"Well, work, work, work…" Blair chuckled apologetically at the two. "Lisa, help yourself to anything you want," Blair said before finally turning around

Cuddy and House just nodded and watched as Blair left.

"Hungry?" House asked her.

"I already ate, thank you," Cuddy answered. While she was waiting in her room, she ordered room service when she got hungry.

They spent about thirty minutes getting to know other people—much to House's annoyance. Cuddy still had a hold on his balls, that's for sure. And he didn't want to admit it to her but he didn't want some rich bald man wanting to do something or say something inappropriate.

Walking towards the bar to have a seat, House suddenly had to take hold of her when she had a dizzy spell. "I think we should get you back to your room. Too much excitement for tonight," House said, supporting her in walking.

"House, I'm fine," Cuddy whined quietly so that only he could hear.

"Sorry I haven't been available for a while," Wilson said, appearing out of the blue. He just got so involved with some of the conversations the other Oncologists and Diagnosticians were having that he couldn't get himself out of there if his life depended on it.

"Wilson, you were always available," House commented sarcastically.

"Jerk," Wilson muttered. Sobering a minute after he was going to comment about being glad they were together when he stopped himself upon seeing Cuddy. She looked like she really wasn't feeling well.

"I think you should take her back to the suite," Wilson advised, looking at House.

"Oh Wilson you—"

"Idiot, I was—"

"Idiot," House mimicked, "I get what you said. And I was just about to, except her royal pain in the ass highness wouldn't approve of the plan." House stated with a smirk. Cuddy just sent a glare their way but once again clung to House when another dizzy spell took her by surprise.

"Couldn't get your hands off me, could you?" House teased, securing her in his arms nonetheless.

"Just shut up and help me back to the suite," Cuddy commented dryly, massaging her temples with her hand.

"I would if I knew where your suite was," House answered her.

"Knowing you, House, you already know where," Wilson said, patting his hand on House's shoulder and giving Cuddy a goodbye and a wish for her to feel better soon before walking towards a group of Oncologists.

"Come on," House said, leading her to the suite he already knew where.

_**

* * *

**_

Cuddy's suite, 9:30 pm

House opened the door to the suite for her and let her in first. She made her way to the king-sized bed in the room and fell atop it, not bothering to change.

"You know you're going to ruin that dress," House said.

"I don't care," she muttered, her head throbbing.

"Won't you at least brush your teeth? You're a doctor you---" House started, feigning disgust but she cut him off.

"I brushed my teeth before I left, I didn't eat at the party," she groaned, "and you're not my father."

House rolled his eyes at the last comment. He then furrowed his brows, "Have you taken something for it?" He saw Cuddy nod with her eyes closed.

Fixing her position in the bed, she called out while staring at the wall, "Lay with me? Please?"

House nodded even if she couldn't see him do so. He took off the white suit jacket, folded it neatly along with his tie before climbing in bed with her, uncertainly at first. When he was positioned at the soft headboard of the bed, he gathered a still gown-clad Cuddy in his arms, holding her close to him.

"What did you tell Blair in Spanish earlier?" She asked him curiously.

"You wouldn't want to know," House teased.

"House come on, tell me," Cuddy urged but House told her that he'd have to kill her if he told her, making Cuddy pout but acquiesce. She guessed she'll have to ask Lexi when they meet next.

Silence wafted through the bedroom of the suite and Cuddy closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into him. Her head was tucked under his chin while her right hand was draped on his button up shirt-clad chest, atop his heart, feeling it beat beneath her palm.

"You really wanted me to be happy?" Cuddy suddenly asked him, her eyes closed as she reveled in the feel of being wrapped in his arms again for the umpteenth time that night.

"Yes, Cuddy. I really did, and I still do," House honestly answered. He knew they've already talked about these things over the phone but talking about it face to face was different. It gave more meaning to everything. It also gave more life to it and reality, assurance, and more truth to it.

"You thought I'd be happier with you gone?" she asked, her voice contemplating and emotional in its release.

"Yes, Cuddy, I thought—"

"I always wanted you with me, dumbass," Cuddy muttered with a small smile gracing the corners of her mouth. "Stop concluding without consulting me first." She added.

House's fingers traced circles on her shoulder while he chuckled at her ironic words. "You think this would work?" House asked her hesitantly.

"We'll make it work," Cuddy assured him, bringing her head up to meet those cerulean eyes with her determined sapphires. She kissed his lips lightly and settling her head under his chin again.

If she wasn't experiencing a terrible headache and those stupid dizzy spells, she would have talked more with him instead of fighting off sleep. But then again, they had a week together, six more days to spare. They could have talked about a lot of things by that time.

There was not an appropriate and best fitting adjective that he could use to describe what he was feeling at that moment, but he didn't think he minded. All he knew that he felt great. House smiled serenely.

"Cuddy… I love you," he whispered, his lips atop her head having kissed it lovingly.

The hand that was on his chest wrapped around his middle and she gave him a squeeze, letting him know his words meant a lot to her. A lot more than he could ever imagine.

It was a good thing to hear it over the phone.

But it was the greatest thing to hear it come out from the lips of the person you loved while his arms were wrapped around you securely. And she loved that feeling.

"I love you too, House," she whispered, her eyes closing as she let herself succumb to sleep.

She was here now, with him, in his arms; nothing else mattered, Cuddy thought.

Nothing else mattered; he was with her now, he was taking care of her, he wasn't going anywhere, House thought as he gazed down at the angel asleep in his arms.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: _Hope I handled the reunion well!_

_**Let me know what you think and show me some love! :D**_

_**Please leave a review.**_

_Guess wassup for the next chap?_


	16. Romantics

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Public and private establishments mentioned are also not mine._

_**A/N:**_ _Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and supporting this story! As I have genuinely expressed many times, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! Love you all! _

_**Anybody interested in smut for this story? Sound off on the revs!**_

**Enjoy the Huddy!**

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 15: ROM-ANTICS

_**.**_

_**January 24, 6 am**_

The moment he felt her warmth he instantaneously concluded that nothing could make his day go wrong. She was breathing evenly, deep in sleep. Opening his eyes to the morning, House turned on the lamp on the bedside table and set his eyes on his angel.f

He had no idea how she was able to last a whole night's sleep in that fitted dress. Maybe she really just wasn't feeling well, he thought. Speaking of not feeling well, House then remembered to feel her forehead. Sleep must have done her great good because she no longer had a temperature.

He gazed at her face, calm and peaceful in sleep. Beautiful even in sleep. He kissed her lightly on the crown of her head, lingering as he took in the invigorating smell of her hair. He gazed outside as he continued to gently draw circles on the small of her back.

They had a week of this… and he wanted to make the most of it. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feel of her in his arms like he did the night before.

Three silent minutes later House's eyes shot open when he heard his cell phone ringing violently. He immediately knew Blair was calling him since his phone was making his customized Jaws-inspired ringing tone.

House carefully eased Cuddy down onto the bed and made his way to where he put his suit jacket and answered the phone.

"Where are you? You have a speech in an hour and a half…" Blair told him when House greeted her.

"Cuddy's suite. I have everything ready," House whispered as to not wake Cuddy.

"I need _you _to get ready! Haul your ass to your condo and get ready! I won't allow you to wear what you wore last night House, even if it's formal," Blair said, obviously on speed.

"Did you have sex with Wilson?" House muttered.

"Excuse me, House! I have principles and I don't sleep around. _You _know that!" Blair said, appalled at House's assumption. "And to let you know, Dr. Wilson doesn't interest me more than a friend—if not a colleague."

"No need to get defensive!" House hissed playfully as he glanced at Cuddy who shifted on the bed, probably following the warmth from where he laid a minute ago.

"House… just get dressed and go to the venue," Blair told him firmly and hung up.

House sighed. He didn't want to leave her yet but he had work to do. Scrunching up his face as he thought of something, he smiled when an idea formed in his brilliant mind.

He grabbed the cordless phone from its cradle and had himself connected to the hotel's famed florist and ordered one thing. He then ordered breakfast for one and had it delivered to the room ala-breakfast in bed. The person he talked to—obviously a woman—was more than delighted upon the request made by the sexy-voiced man.

Ten minutes later the florist's employee brought up the fresh-looking flower and the room service sent in the beautifully arranged cart. House more than willingly gave a huge tip.

When House set the cart a feet away from the bed he glanced down at Cuddy curled up like a cat facing the curtained window, causing her face to seemingly glow. Walking to her side, House bent over to kiss her lips lightly and caressed her cheek a while.

House stood up after about a minute and then gently laid the long stemmed rose a few inches away from in front of her and then exited the suite with one Lisa Cuddy in his mind.

_**

* * *

**_

Cuddy's suite, 8 am

This probably was the longest slumber she's had in months, the most restful as well, Cuddy thought as she woke up and saw that it was eight in the morning. She was relieved that her headache and temperature was gone. She wondered why House wasn't in the bed with her but something else caught her line of vision and undivided attention.

A few inches in front of her laid the most beautiful long-stemmed rose she's ever set her eyes on. It was a perfect picture of love and elegance. Absolutely stunning with its newly-bloomed fresh look, the petals blood-red and sleek.

Cuddy beamed radiantly and reached for it by the stem, taking a sniff and she was surprised that it was one of the fragranced varieties.

Cuddy smiled with her eyes closed and she opened them widely now, welcoming the beautiful day that greeted her. She sat up in bed, holding the rose by the stem. Cuddy set aside the curtain and was surprised to find that it was snowing lightly.

She turned around to make her way to the bathroom but then she saw the cart.

"Aren't you full of surprises this morning…" Cuddy whispered blissfully as her smile mellowed into a very affectionate one.

Cuddy approached the sophisticatedly designed breakfast cart to see what each plate had. But before she could, she had to remove the covering of the tray. She already saw the warm white mug which was filled with chamomile tea as well as the transparent teapot filled with steaming water if she wanted a refill in the uncovered part of the cart. The teabags were laid out on the side, still wrapped. Tracing her eyes counter-clockwise, she then saw the small note on the right side of it. She picked it up and laughed out loud shaking her head when she read House's print saying:f

_Wilson's idea._

"No it wasn't," Cuddy negated in a whisper. She knew that whenever he projected something _he _did onto someone else, it meant that the truth was that he was the one who really did it.

Cuddy bit her bottom lip as she lifted the cover and her eyes widened when she saw her breakfast. She had a bowl of fruit medley, creamy plain yogurt on another bowl—obviously a choice for her to mix the fruits in. She also had omelet and bacon the way she liked it done, a plate consisting of a single square waffle, a saucer of small chocolates on it, and lastly, two pieces of drool-inducing garlic bread. She then saw another note saying:

_I told Wilson you'll kill him the moment you practically see the amount of calories in that tray. He wouldn't listen. _

Cuddy chuckled. She took the two notes and kept it in her purse. Knowing that the first part of the seminar she'll be attending is not until one-thirty in the afternoon, Cuddy headed to her suite's bathroom and showered quickly first but not before removing the flowers from one of the suite's vases and replacing them with her beautiful long stemmed rose.

After having showered and changing into comfortable clothes, Cuddy then set her breakfast on the dining table in her suite. As much as she wanted to eat in bed, she wanted to get some work done from her suite as well.

Cuddy peacefully ate while going over several files online which were sent to her by her temp. She was relieved to know that not one unfortunate thing has happened… yet, she thought.

In about an hour, she called it quits and shut off her laptop. She took hold of her Blackberry and texted House, asking him of his whereabouts. A little over five minutes later House replied telling her that he was in a boring lecture and that Blair was holding him captive. Cuddy laughed to herself upon reading his reply. She texted him back asking up to what time he'll be at the business center and House didn't reply after that. She guessed Blair confiscated his phone or something to keep him listening to the speaker. Cuddy smiled, at least House was being kept grounded.

Ten minutes later while she busied herself with morning news, the doorbell to her suite rang and she got up from her spot on the couch. Looking through the peephole before opening the door she smiled when she saw House on her doorstep. She opened the door for him and looked at him with a wide smile.

"Hi…" she said, the smile never leaving her face. It was different when she was seeing him in the light of day instead of night. She got a better view of his regal face and form.

"Hey," House greeted simply with a small smile.

"So… you going to let me in or leave me standing here while you check me out?" House asked with an amused smirk when she was giving him a head-to-toe examination. House kind of appreciated it that she noticed what he was wearing.

Cuddy shook her head to clear herself of the thoughts and shock upon seeing him actually prim and proper. "Sorry, I was blown away by your attire," Cuddy replied in deadpan. When House entered her suite she ran in front of him and pressed a palm on his forehead, enacting to see if he was sick. House smirked and gently swatted her hand, knowing why she was doing it.

"Not the first time you saw me like a well-groomed boy," House drawled out sarcastically, smirking at her after.

"First time in years that I didn't even have to force you or tell you to do so," Cuddy countered with a smile as she stepped closer to him and ran her hand on his tie, unclipping and untying it, making House arch a brow at what she was doing. "But you still tied your tie incorrectly," she lectured as she focused on tying his neck tie properly.

"Thanks," House said after she finished with it.

"How was your breakfast?" House asked, wondering if she liked what he did for her.

Instead of receiving words for an answer, House was stunned to feel her lips on his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply with House unhesitating in kissing her back with the same amount of fervor imprinted on his lips as hers. His arms wrapped around her, palms resting on the small of her back, pulling her towards him even more.

When the need for oxygen arose their lips reluctantly parted as they breathed each other in. The two of them knew though that they couldn't go farther than kissing until they've talked about everything. But talking about everything probably wouldn't take a day to finish. And they could wait. They were more than willing to wait.

"I take it that meant you liked your breakfast?" House slyly inquired as he locked his cerulean orbs with her sapphire ones. Cuddy smiled brightly at him and nodded as she unwrapped her arms from behind his neck.

"Have _you_ had breakfast?" she asked him, running her hands up and down his suit.

"Nope. Had to run early," he answered nonchalantly, loosening his hold on her but not entirely letting go.

"You had time to order breakfast and a rose for me but didn't give yourself time to eat?" Cuddy scolded gently.

House shrugged, "I was in a rush."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow at him, "You never bothered being late."

"Well, I guess I learned my lesson then," House said, but instead of his voice being playful, it was serious and honest… and vulnerable. That told Cuddy that his words carried more weight in them than what was just meant for it.

House let his hands fall from her completely and he sat down on the beige couch a few feet from them and leant forward as he rubbed his palms together. He realized a few seconds ago with his last admittance that there was no better time to have their heart to heart than now.

Feeling and seeing the weight of the sudden tension and seriousness in his demeanor, Cuddy took the remote of the plasma TV from the center table and switched it off. She then sat down beside House and rubbed his back with the palm of her right hand while her left held onto his bicep.

"House… talk to me," she tenderly beseeched him. "Please."

House took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He wanted to tell her this. He _had _to tell her this.

House took hold of the hand on his bicep and he enlaced their fingers as he turned his head to look at her. He saw concern and sincerity in her eyes. He also saw her need to know what was weighing him down.

Amazing how they could always speak with their actions and eyes alone.

Cuddy didn't know what to do. This side to him she's never seen. All she knew was that she wanted to be there for him and listen intently to what he felt he had to say as she kept her eyes locked onto his heavenly blue eyes.

"I never knew what I lost until I lost her," he told her, never breaking their connection.

"You never lost her. You left her on your own accord," Cuddy clarified, wanting to be honest with him. Before he had a chance to reply she continued, "But…" she took a deep breath, "I never would have realized what I've long wanted if you hadn't. If you hadn't done what you did, and if you didn't leave."

"You're an idiot," House then said on a small dry chuckle. Cuddy gave him a look and he answered her forthcoming question. "You could have any man you choose yet you chose me."

"I don't want anybody else," she admitted and hugged him with her right hand, settling her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for everything, Cuddy," House spoke after a moment of silence between them.

Cuddy unlaced their fingers and she took his chin, staring him dead in the eyes and said, "How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to apologize? If _everything _didn't happen, we wouldn't even be here."

House nodded, she was right. Cuddy gave him a reassuring peck on the lips and then smiled.

"Hungry?" she asked him, changing the topic at last.

"Yeah," House answered as he stood up and walked around the suite as he asked, "What time do you have to leave?"

"One-thirty," she answered, her eyes following him.

"Want to have lunch out?" he invited with a small hopeful grin as he stopped in front of the curtains facing her.

"Depends on where you're taking me," Cuddy answered with a brow arched in curiosity.

House gave her a smirk and said, "I thought you wanted to see my condo," he reminded her.

"I wanted to see the view…" Cuddy started, biting her lip then pausing for a while and continued, "and your condo," she added after a while with smile plastered on her face.

House rolled his eyes at her. "We have to stop by somewhere though," he then reluctantly added, not wanting to immediately have to divulge where they were going and why.

He didn't want to give her a coronary.

"Where?" There's the first question, House thought to himself.

"You'll find out when we get there." Was House's simple answer as he put his right hand in his pants pocket.

"Why?" And then the second. House shrugged at her, still not wanting to spill.

Cuddy frowned at him and tried her best to use her puppy dog eyes to make him fold but he didn't, simply shaking his head with an impish, almost teasing grin.

"Come on, tell me! Please?" Cuddy tried again, this time standing up and making her way towards him. She stood in front of him, her eyes meeting his determined electric blue eyes.

House pretended to think about it scrunching up the right corner of his mouth and his cheeks. He then looked down at her as if to nod but shook his head at her and dipped his head to give her a half-hearted apologetic peck on the lips.

Neither of them didn't know how they got so comfortable like this but neither of them minded because it felt utterly right.

"Now go get dressed," he bid her with a grin.

Cuddy didn't know whether to slap him silly or smile at him for his previous actions but she just opted to sneer at him for not telling her where they were going before they went back to his condo for lunch.

House mimicked her steer and gestured for her to get moving and she did so with a slight huff. He watched as she walked towards her bathroom and got dressed. House shook his head with an amused chuckle. She was just like him at certain times; a kid when she couldn't get what she wanted.

Five minutes later she found him sitting on the couch watching TNA with his right leg on top of his other with his long arms extended across the back of the couch, unmindful that she has entered the living room once again.

"Ready?" Scratch that, he was aware of her presence after all.

"Yes," she answered simply, double checking her bag for everything she needed including her hotel card key, her Blackberry, and the rest.

House stood up from the couch and switched off the TV and turned to look at her. He wondered why he never got tired of seeing her dressed like that; a sexy red low cut top under a warm women's suit jacket. Her low cut top also had the blessings of underwires for her already beautiful globes. Only today she was wearing professional black dress pants to go with her ruby red Jimmy Choo 'do-me' pumps.

"Knew you'd miss it," Cuddy smugly said with a coy smile as she walked ahead of him, adding some bounce into her steps just for him.

"Who wouldn't," House thought to himself as he followed her outside her suite and waited for her to pull it closed.

She strategically walked ahead of him as she asked over her shoulder, "Where are we going again?" her voice sticky sweet and innocent.

House almost slipped as he was focused on her rotund 'supertanker' giving him a satisfying show while they walked the way towards the elevator. He answered her as she turned her head innocently at him, waiting for his answer although she was pretty much expecting an immediate one after her plan.

"Well played sir!" House grinned and she returned it with her own 'eyebrow raised in a challenge' smile. "But no, you'll have to wait." He told her with a victorious waggle of his brows when they reached the elevator and waited for it to go up one more floor before it reached hers.

The bell from the lift gave a soft ding seconds later. Cuddy walked in ahead of him and faced the front of the lift as he positioned himself beside her and she whispered quietly and coquettishly to him as the lustrous elevator door closed in front of them.

"Can't blame a woman for trying."

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:_Liked it, loved it, hated it?_

_**Please leave a review to let me know what you think :D**_

_**Follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey **_


	17. UnReadable

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. The hotel mentioned is not mine, neither is House's condo unit/condo building. Other establishments featured are but a figment of my overactive imagination._

_**A/N:**_ _Gracias for the reviews! The support Absence is getting really sets my Huddy writer's heart aflutter! _

_**GOOD NEWS**__: I'll be updating two stories per day from Feb. 22-28 because I have no classes for a week! _

**To those who weren't able to respond, are you guys interested in SMUT in this fic?**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 16: UN/READABLE

_**.**_

_**10:15 am**_

House kept checking the time on his wrist watch and was disappointed that it was three hours and a half before they had to separate. Sighing inwardly he halted her with an arm on the small of her back while they were walking their way to a place Cuddy still didn't know.

"What's wrong?" was the question Cuddy's mind formulated right away.

"Let's just have an early lunch out. It's only three hours before you have to be at the seminar, and I have another one by two," House told her with a voice that had an undertone of disappointment which he was able to mask.

"I thought we had to go somewhere first? And I thought you were going to show me your bachelor's pad?" Cuddy quipped with a mock pout as they turned on her heels and walked a new direction.

"The place could wait," House simply said and then he scrunched up his face in feigned thought, peeking down at her, "I was deliberating it but then again, I haven't cleaned it up. Lots of parties here and there every night," he said, making Cuddy roll her eyes. She knew that parties in his own private solace was the last thing he'll think of, let alone have.

While they were walking to the boulevard that had many distinguished restaurants and numerous fast-food chains, Cuddy suddenly stopped in her tracks which in turn made House look at her, eyes at the ready for observing what was wrong if there was any at all.

"What?" he asked her in an instant upon noticing what she did.

Cuddy raised her French-tipped index finger and gestured at him as they continued walking then said, "Wait, did I actually hear you imply that you really want to attend a lecture? 'Boring. Stupid doctors. Senseless talk.'?" She quoted with matching air quotes. "Voluntarily, if I may add." That last statement she said with a small amused smile on her face.

When House was about to defend himself Cuddy read his mind, "Of course, Blair has your balls. Either way, I give her props, even _I_ wasn't able to make you wear something formal without threatening to cut something off." She muttered in thought.

House smirked at her words, "Jealous?"

Cuddy laughed and shook her head, "No. I _know _your balls belong to me alone."

"Dr. Cuddy talking dirty, I like it," House jollied with a lecherous grin. She needn't have said it; _He _knew his balls belonged to her just as much as her thighs were his alone.

"So… where do I eat lunch and you, brunch?" Cuddy asked him, ignoring his remark about her so-called 'dirty' talk.

"You pick, I pretty much eat anything," House shrugged. "Oh I know, you're practically a black hole," Cuddy replied with a slightly disgusted scoff, remembering House's appetite and infamous talent for stealing food from Wilson's plate.

"I'm a growing boy," House said as he followed her to a path heading to a French bistro. "Adolescent." Cuddy corrected with a teasing smile as she turned her head in his direction, letting him know with just a look and that smile that it was all it was. A tease.

"Bonjour!" they were greeted by a heavily French-accented woman. House and Cuddy were seated in the far corner of the bistro which had a nice view of some of the nice yachts on the bay. A waitress handed them each a menu and they looked it over before ordering. House ordered Hickory Spareribs and a slice of blueberry cheesecake while Cuddy ordered lasagna only. She was still quite full from her heavy breakfast.

_**

* * *

**_

Pan Pacific Gazebo 1, 10:25 am

"Is this seat taken?" Wilson politely asked Blair who was already seated at the back and just waiting for the seminar to start.

Blair's been with House on the first seminar of the day and she just wanted to hear this particular Oncologist's speech before she herself headed out and fixed some files at the hospital until she was needed or until she had to attend another seminar.

Blair looked at him with a poker face and just shook her head, letting him know it wasn't. When Wilson thanked her and sat down beside her she finally spoke. "There are many seats to choose from yet you choose to sit beside me. Why?" she asked straight to her point as her face remained unreadable.

Wilson was intrigued all the more. He raised a brow at her, studying her face as he replied shrugging, "I didn't know anyone else."

"I believe that was the reason we had an acquaintance party last night," Blair answered, turning her head to the speaker's direction.

Wilson's eyebrows shot up as he took a deep breath and reclined on his chair and turned his attention to the older Oncologist on the podium. Was this her way of saying or implying that she wasn't interested? Wilson thought to himself as his brows furrowed.

"Are you an Oncologist?" Wilson asked her curiously. He was able to talk to her a few times but their talks were purely professional all the time and was never personal.

"No." Blair answered, listening to Dr. McKenzie's speech about different trials his study was able to cover and the results of said trials.

"What are you—"

Blair shot him an annoyed look as she cut him off. "Neurology. If you don't mind, I'm actually listening to the speaker," she said, trying to keep her voice calm. It wasn't that she didn't want to converse. But she really, really wanted to listen to Dr. McKenzie. It was the only reason she attended this particular seminar of the morning.

Wilson bit his tongue after mumbling a heartfelt apology. He couldn't blame her though. Maybe she was just that in to the speaker and his topic, he thought. Not that _he _wasn't interested though.

_**

* * *

**_

Cuddy's suite, 12:30 pm

"Have plans for dinner?" House asked Cuddy as they entered her suite.

Cuddy put up a thinking face and she answered over her shoulder. "Wilson and I were thinking of having a wild night out."

"Yeah right, party pants," House smirked at her causing her to give laugh upon hearing his pet name. "No, seriously, do you have plans?" he asked again as he sat on the couch and Cuddy went to the fridge to get a bottled water for herself.

"I was planning on working on some files for the hospital," Cuddy said, sitting beside him and pulling her laptop on her lap after placing her bottle of water on the coffee table.

"Work on them at my place?" House suggested, "Let's have dinner there."

"Where exactly is your place?" she asked him as she typed in her password.

House peeked on what her fingers typed in and he smirked, "So your password's still the same after all this time? Haven't you learned your lesson?" he asked her with his eyebrows raised.

Cuddy laughed with a shrug. "I don't see the point of changing my password when you'll just try and figure it out again," she answered in an irritated tone, glancing at him with a smirk. "You haven't answered my question yet. Where are you staying actually?"

"Quaywest II," House answered, turning on the TV. Cuddy didn't know where that was and she was tempted to look it up on her Mac but didn't.

Ten minutes later the bell to the suite rang and House stood up to get it. Without looking through the peephole he opened the door and was surprised to find Wilson in front of him with his eyebrows arched.

"Why you here?" Wilson asked curiously when he saw House open the door to him.

"Why are _yo_u?" House gruffly asked in return, ignoring Wilson's question.

Wilson shrugged as he walked ahead of House, "Wanted to have her go over my speech for tomorrow."

Wilson sat on the single couch across Cuddy while House sat back where he was over a minute ago.

"Had lunch?" Cuddy asked Wilson, not making a move to get the papers from his hands.

"Yes. Come on, Cuddy, just go over it, I made revisions," Wilson urged her.

Cuddy gave Wilson an exasperated look before she reached over and took the papers from him placing them in the space between her and House. She had no intention of reading it again. "Wilson, go out and relax. The speech and lecture is already perfect. No need to change, erase or do whatever else. I've read this five times already even before we landed."

Wilson sighed and then looked at House with a suggestive look, gesturing with his head to the papers beside his best friend. House arched a brow and grabbed the papers on Cuddy's lap and started to read them.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at the two and continued typing on her Mac Book.

"Go look for a hooker and relax," House quipped with a smirk after a silent eight minutes of quick reading Wilson's words. He tossed the paper-clipped papers on the coffee table and smirked at Wilson, "It's good."

"I don't want it to be 'good'—"

Cuddy released a groan as she looked sternly at Wilson before even more sincerely saying, cutting him off, "It's perfect."

Wilson gave another heavy sigh before glancing back at House. "Both of you aren't lying?"

"If you don't believe our opinion why on earth are you even asking for it? Want an unbiased opinion? Look for Blair." House suggested in an annoyed tone.

"Speaking of Blair. Is she really—"

"A tough bitch?" House offered with his eyebrows in anticipation of both Wilson and Cuddy's scolding.

Cuddy looked at him with an aghast expression as she slapped him on the arm. "House!"

"What?" House asked laughing. "She really is a bitch at first, well, to men. A professional bitch, that is."

Wilson deliberated the thought and shrugged.

"Wait, that shrug meant something," House said, looking at him speculatively after seeing him through the corner of his eye. Wilson pulled an innocent pout, brows furrowing in an already failed attempt to draw attention to what he just did.

"You asked her out?" House said with his jaw askew in amusement.

"Nooo…" Wilson negated.

"You sat beside her on some conference and she absolutely denied your existence," House went on a limb and concluded for his best friend. Cuddy stopped typing as she glanced at Wilson with an intrigued visage. It was very, very rare that someone turned the teddy bear oncologist down.

Wilson's face turned a little red from the embarrassment and he squinted one eye as he managed to contradict at least a part of what House said. "It was more on the line of 'Don't talk to me.'"

"First, she hates it when people get in the way of what she wants," House informed Wilson. He didn't know though whether to tell Wilson that Blair just got out of a bad breakup. The moment the thought entered his mind, he then decided not to reveal that part. It was Blair's story to tell, not his.

"Figures why she seemed annoyed while I asked her questions while Dr. McKenzie was speaking," Wilson muttered.

"You like Blair?" Cuddy asked with a girlish smile.

"Leave him be, Cuddy. It's not like Blair will be the fourth Mrs. James Wilson," House sarcastically drawled out.

"I think I'll get some coffee from the Starbuck's around the corner," Wilson said, standing up.

"Blair likes Caramel Macchiato," House informed him with a wink.

"How did you—"

House cut him off with a sinister grin that made both Cuddy and Wilson look at him with wide eyes as he asked, "Know that she likes that flavor or that you're meeting her for coffee?"

"Both," Wilson said in utter confusion, no point in denying the second part of House's question.

"I'm just THAT good," House gloated.

"Hmm," Wilson said after bidding both House and Cuddy goodbye. He exited the suite and made his way to the elevators.

"How did you know he'll be meeting Blair?" Cuddy asked minutes after Wilson left.

"Blair texted me earlier to behave myself because she was meeting someone at Starbuck's," House informed her with a smirk, "And that it was an urgent "business matter"." He knew that Blair was attending his second itinerary just to keep an eye on him. He couldn't blame her for agreeing to meet with Wilson. He knew how frank Blair could be so it's either she agreed to meet with Wilson to see if they could go somewhere or just make it clear that she wasn't interested. So far though, House thought that Blair wasn't interested. But he had "faith" in Wilson.

Cuddy laughed throatily at what he said. She loved how he could always put two and two together in the blink of an eye. Although at times it may be annoying to be at the receiving end of it, it was still amusing how good he was at unraveling things.

"Change to casual clothes after your seminar," House told her, switching the channel to the Discovery Channel.

"Where are you taking me?" Cuddy asked. Maybe they'll be pushing through with where they were really supposed to go earlier.

"Trust the element of surprise," House said in a feigned romantically disgusted tone at which Cuddy gave off a curt laugh.

"I don't want you to have a coronary," House told her preceding her laugh.

"House, nothing you do surprises me anymore," Cuddy stated wryly.

"So you think," House informed her in a serious tone which made her glance at him. He, himself knew that this would surprise her or anyone else for that matter.

That statement had Cuddy thinking. Where was he going to take her? It made her excited and nervous all at the same time.

Cuddy couldn't wait until both their itineraries for the day were finished so she had him all to herself.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Love it, like it, hate it? Let me know what you think. Please leave a rev :)

_Any guesses on where House is taking Cuddy? _

_**Oh and I promise you, MOOOAAARRR Huddy on the next chapter! Longer next chapter too! :) **_


	18. The Way to A Woman's Heart

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Recipe used is owned by Wolfgang Puck. The hotel mentioned is not mine, neither is House's condo unit/condo building. Other establishments featured are but a figment of my overactive imagination. _

_**A/N:**_ _**The reviews are LOVE! :D I adore each and every one :D I adore my readers best though. Thanks for taking the time to review. They give me much more inspiration to write.**_

_**To those who haven't read on twitter:**__ Yes, I suck. Sorry to have said I would update twice daily. Turns out I can't write two chapters for different stories in a single day because it is very much confusing most especially if I write them after the other both containing more than 3000 words.  
I apologize for that. I've learnt my lesson and am sure to not make any more promises.  
I'd rather update slowly than update fast but non-good chapters. I hope everyone understands._

_**Enjoy the Huddy! :D **_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

* * *

_**CHAPTER 17: THE WAY TO A WOMAN'S HEART**_

_**.**_

_**Starbuck's, 12:55 pm**_

Wilson was waiting for Blair in the Starbuck's close to the hotel. He was minutes early. He already ordered for the two of them, him having a cappuccino while he ordered Blair a caramel macchiato just like House told him.

Five minutes after he's just sat back down on the lounge chairs he was able to get for them, he saw Blair entering the café so he waved her over.

"Hi, did I keep you waiting?" she greeted then asked as she sat down on the unoccupied chair across him. She hated making people wait because she hated being made to wait for people. She knew it was a very annoying characteristic to be late for things, no matter how high or how low a priority they were.

Wilson shook his head, "No, I just got here."

Blair pursed her lips as she glanced at the long line in the café. "I'm sorry to have kept you waiting," she apologized when she looked at him again and saw that he's already ordered.

For them both.

"No, really, I just got here," Wilson assured her as he handed her, her cup, "It's caramel macchiato," he let her know, garnering a raised eyebrow from the beautiful woman.

Blair took the cup from him and smiled small, "Thanks," she said and sipped.

Wiping her lips she leant back on the chair and looked at Wilson with her brow arched, "Talked to House?" she asked.

Wilson held both his hands up in surrender, "I have no idea how he found out. He just suggested caramel macchiato out of the blue," he admitted with an apologetic smile that Blair found cute but didn't verbally acknowledge it.

"The man's a genius. He must have put two and two together," Blair considered as she warmed her hands with the coffee cup, "I texted him that I won't be able to look after him during his second seminar of the day because I had a meeting at Starbuck's."

"And I told him I was going to Starbuck's and he just guessed," Wilson concluded.

Blair shook her head in amusement and gave a small chuckle. "He guessed right."

They became silent for a while and Wilson broke it. "I'm sorry about earlier, in the gazebo, I mean," he apologized.

Blair waved it off, "Don't worry about it. I really attended that particular seminar just to hear McKenzie's talk. One of my oncologists will be working with him on some drug trials."

"I'm sorry for not paying any attention to you though. It's just that when I want to know or hear something, I'm well… I'm a bitch when someone gets in the way of that," she disclosed apologetically.

Wilson didn't dare tell her that he already knew that. He nodded at her, "I completely understand. Well, I'm sorry anyway for having distracted you anyway," Wilson said at which Blair just gave him that same small smile.

"So… I'm curious. How has House been the past few months?" Wilson started, earning a smirk from Blair.

"You really want to talk about House?" she asked him.

Wilson shrugged, "Well, he's our common denominator."

"He's been a good boy," Blair said with a pouty face, not telling him anything.

"Seriously?" Wilson asked. A well-behaved House. Was that possible?

"Yes." Blair said seriously.

"Good to know," Wilson said under his breath.

"Now, tell me about yourself, Dr. James Wilson," Blair asked him with a grin that struck Wilson somewhere. This woman was beautiful, he thought.

"I'm sorry, am I being interrogated?" Wilson joked, leaning forward to eye her.

Blair chuckled, " Yes. And if you know what's good for you, I suggest you answer me as honestly as possible," she teased though with an undertone of seriousness.

Blair tilted her head to the side as she laughed but was surprised to see House pass by, giving her an annoyingly cute grinning face with two thumbs up.

But he was gone as swiftly as he passed by.

"Are you okay?" Wilson asked her.

Composing herself, Blair looked at him and nodded with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I just saw my worst nightmare pass by," Blair thought.

"Yeah, I'm good." She replied instead.

_**

* * *

**_

4:30 pm

"This… was where you were supposed to take me earlier?" Cuddy asked House dryly, confused when they stopped in front of the entrance to a food market. She could have just acted surprised but she'd rather be honest about how _this _did surprise her in a weird way than lie to him and acting stupid.

House shrugged, "What were you expecting?" he asked her curiously.

"I was thinking of something in the line of romantic. With you though, I'll never know," Cuddy replied in deadpan.

Little did she know.

House just scoffed at her but internally grinned. Okay, maybe giving her a coronary was an exaggerative exaggeration.

"Why are we even here, it's not like you could even cook," Cuddy muttered in the cold January air.

House took hold of her jacket-clad shoulders and just lead her through the market as he looked for what he needed for what he was going to whip up for her in his condo. Earlier when he peeked at Wilson and Blair when Cuddy decided to go early to her seminar's venue, House was able to sneak in making his chocolate mousse for dinner at his place. So dessert was all done, what was left now was the main course.

But of course Cuddy had no idea about that… yet.

They say the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, eh? Well, turns out the saying goes for both genders.

"I'm going to cook you dinner, now let's get to work," House whispered in her ear.

Cuddy turned her head and looked at him, beaming. "You'll be cooking dinner… for me?"

"Us," House corrected with a smirk.

Not caring about their display, Cuddy leant forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Us sounds better," she whispered gladly as House carried on leading her to their first destination, the meat section.

"So what will you be cooking for me, chef?" Cuddy asked as they walked by the meat section.

House looked at all the choices and he then asked, "Steak sounds good?"

"Yes," Cuddy answered with a smile his way.

Together, the couple made their way around the market to buy what House needed for their dinner. From the meat section they made their way to the dry section, buying different fruits, vegetables and spices.

Cuddy was undeniably surprised that House knew so much about cooking. She kept asking him things that she didn't know about and he just kept giving her what she wanted to know. Needless to say, she was pretty much excited to taste what her man was going to be cooking for her.

They went from the market to one of the shops beside it that sold different cooking and baking utensils.

"Hey, come here!" Cuddy called out to House excitedly.

House smirked and followed where her voice came from, "What's got your thongs in a bundle?" he asked her when he saw she was somewhat giddy. And he's never seen her giddy. Excited, yes, giddy never.

Cuddy turned to his direction and held in front of her a white apron that had "I kiss better than I cook" printed on it.

House was amused but gave her a smirk, "You believe what it says? Taste before you conclude," he joked as he walked closer to where she stood.

Cuddy put on a thinking face and House leaned towards her to press his lips to hers then pulled away, "Mmm, who knows? Maybe you're great at both."

House's eyes lit up then when something caught his eye. "I think this way cooler than that," House said as he snatched the apron from the neatly folded stack and showed it to her.

The apron had a print that said, "Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes!"

Cuddy chuckled loudly in the store when she read the print on the apron House was holding.

"I think I like the one I saw better," Cuddy told him with a grin.

House pouted at that announcement and whined, "But mooom! This one's better!"

Cuddy scoffed, "No it's not! Want to know why?" House nodded and Cuddy rolled her eyes at him as she took the apron from him and folded it, placing it on the stack again.

"Because no matter what I tell my boobs, your eyes would still be glued to them even if hell froze over," Cuddy knowingly said.

House laughed and just gestured for them to go. "I'm going to buy this for you," Cuddy told him, latching onto his arm before he could go ahead of her.

"I have an apron," House informed her.

Cuddy smirked, "Wear this one and I'll kiss you more if your cooking doesn't impress me."

"And if I don't?" House challenged.

Cuddy shrugged, "You get no kisses tonight."

House's eyes almost rolled to the back of his head at the thought but managed to keep them open as he smugly replied. "Like you could resist me!"

Cuddy scoffed at him, "Of course I can!"

"Want to bet?" House dared.

Cuddy gave him a dead-serious look as she nodded, "You're on!" she added sternly.

House's eyes widened and he knew Cuddy definitely could resist him if she set her mind to it. "Just buy the damned apron," he muttered in surrender.

Cuddy's face lightened up and she laughed as she went to the counter and paid.

_**

* * *

**_

Starbuck's, 3 pm

"Thank you for the coffee and the talk, Dr. Wilson," Blair appreciatively said as she extended her hand to the kind oncologist.

She found him nice, likeable, intelligent, and a gentleman. She needn't mention that he was cute- if not handsome. But she had thoughts to sort through before she gave herself another shot at a relationship. And she thought that if Wilson was interested in her as she thought, a relationship with him was probably not destined to last since he'll be leaving in just a few days and she didn't like the prospect of a long-distance relationship, with anyone for that matter.

"Call me James," Wilson said, shaking Blair's hand. It was very smooth and soft. Very womanly.

Blair smiled genuinely at that, "Then call me Lexi."

Wilson gave a boyish grin to the administrator and nodded, "It was nice spending some time with you, Lexi."

Blair had no idea where it came from but she felt something… something, when he uttered her name. The way it rolled off his lips was somewhat addictive and she smiled in return for lack of anything to say.

Before any of them stood up, Wilson asked her, "I was wondering if you'd like to go out for dinner tomorrow?" he invited.

Blair thought about it for a while but shook her head and wet her lower lip before reluctantly leaning forward and looking Wilson in the eyes. "I'm sorry but I can't. You see, James, I just got out from a really bad breakup just weeks ago. I don't think I'm ready for anything just yet," she admitted earnestly to him, her blue eyes imploring him to understand her reasoning.

"Even just as friends?" Wilson asked her kindly, his tone not pushy.

Blair gave a small smile at that, "You have my number, I have yours, I'll think about it, James. Thank you for today," she said and unglued her eyes from the beautiful browns that were Wilson's.

Wilson gave her a genuine smile in return and watched as she left. She was just like House said. She starts out as a bitch at first because you don't know her personally but once you get to talk to her, you see everything that's good and feminine in her. Wilson smiled. For some unknown reason, he felt like Blair had him wrapped around her smallest finger. And he's only talked to her in two hours or so, known her professionally for weeks, personally for two days, and he's already starting to feel like a lovesick puppy. But one that had common sense and a mind to go with it. He won't push her nor would he push her if she wasn't interested or didn't want anything with him more than as a friend.

_**

* * *

**_

House's condominium unit, 7 pm

"Wow, this place is a whole lot better than the one you had back at Jersey," Cuddy commended as she took in House's place. When they entered the living room, Cuddy couldn't help but notice how tidy it was. The white wallpaper was simply elegant.

"Spacious too," House said as he carried what they bought into his kitchen and set them on the wide Formica countertop.

"You were lucky to have been able to rent it," Cuddy said, admiring the living room. It was charming and masculine.

"Lucky the piano came along with it," House said.

Cuddy raised her brows at him and he pointed to her where the baby grand stood sleekly. She turned her head to the direction he was pointing to and a dreamy smile immediately graced her lips. The baby grand was positioned near the wide veranda of the unit. She was surprised that she wasn't able to take notice of it when she first entered.

The only thing separating the piano from the veranda was the floor to ceiling glass sliding door. But the baby grand was on the still-side of the door so it wasn't in the way. It was tilted to an angle that gave both the pianist and if any, his audience a beautiful view of the False Creek and beyond. It was breathtaking to say the least.

Cuddy spent some time looking over at the view while House started working on their dinner. He was making New York steak with Mushrooms.

Double-checking for everything he needed, House confirmed that he indeed had his scallions, New York Strip steaks, unsalted butter, fresh shiitake mushrooms, Cognac, beef stock in a skillet, and his stemmed Enoki mushrooms. He first seasoned the steaks on both sides with salt and peppers then reserved them.

Without thinking about it, House took the clean apron Cuddy bought him and wore it. He glanced at her and saw that she was still marveling at the sights and his condominium.

House then started working on dinner. He heated a grill then threw in the onions until he thought them tender yet already crunchy and heated 2 tablespoons of butter until it slightly bubbled. He then cooked the shiitakes over high heat until they began to brown slightly and he afterwards seasoned it with salt and pepper. He then removed that from the pan.

"Smells amazing already," Cuddy complimented with a smile, finally alerting him that she's watching him now. But what he didn't know was she's been there when he started cooking the shiitakes.

House gestured for her to sit on the chair beside the island counter across from where he was cooking at. "Wow, you actually wore it," Cuddy said as she saw the apron hanging from his neck and tied around his waist.

House rolled his eyes at her and took hold of the Cognac bottle, "Prepare to be amazed," he said in a low voice as he looked from her and back to what he was doing. House carefully poured the Cognac into the hot skillet and ignited it, waiting for the flame to die out naturally. He scraped the loose bits that clung to the bottom of the pan and reduced Cognac to 2 tablespoons. He mixed in and stirred in the reduced beef stock and then reduced the sauce until slightly thickened. House then returned the mushrooms and the juice to the sauce and corrected the seasonings.

Cuddy couldn't believe her eyes, neither could she believe her nose. Seeing House cooking and having smelt the aroma of it was just a surprise! And she thought nothing House did surprised her anymore.

The way to a man's heart was through his stomach, Cuddy recalled with an internal chuckle. The way to a woman's heart, and in this case, hers, was through wearing a sexy apron and cooking professionally in front of her.

She was already sated; That was just at the sight of him. What more if she finally got to taste his cooking?

Cuddy propped her chin on top of her hands and smiled as she continued watching House focus on what he was cooking for her… for them. "Need me to help you with anything?" she asked courteously.

House looked at her and shook his head but then lightened up at a thought and he dared say, "The chef needs a kiss." Cuddy laughed at that and House just smirked. "So, you going to kiss me or not?" he asked.

Cuddy playfully returned the smirk as she said, "Not if you're asking me like that, I won't."

"And not until I get to sample Houseian cuisine," she teased as an afterthought.

"Well I better make sure to put something else in this steaks, then," House joked, leering at her.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and just ignored what he said. "Better get that done quickly, I'm starving," she said with a pout.

House stirred in the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter a little at a time and then put in the enoki mushrooms and stirred it well. He then set the sauce aside and made sure he put it in an appropriate container to keep it warm. He then grilled the steaks on the pan he preheated for three minutes on each side. After having done that, he removed it from the heat. House then checked to see if the sauce he made was still hot and when he found out that it was, he placed it on the counter while he got a decorative plate and put in the island counter as well.

Cuddy watched him with interest as he made the food presentable. He first divided the scallions along the dinner plate and spooned the mushroom sauce over them. Afterwards, he put in the steaks one at a time in the middle of the plate and presented it to Cuddy. "Voila, New York Steak with Mushrooms!" House said with a small, satisfied smile.

"I've got to say, House, it looks mouthwatering," Cuddy said with an appreciative nod as she surveyed what he prepared.

House gave her a nod and smiled boyishly before pulling out some plates and setting the small dining table near the kitchen. He then brought out the red wine and poured them a glass each.

"Happy?" House asked her as he pulled back a chair and pushed it towards the table as she sat down.

When House was about to let go of the back of the chair Cuddy quickly snaked her left hand to the back of his head and pulled him down for a fervent kiss, meeting his lips with her own as she tilted her head back and angled it perfectly so he could kiss her back deeply. Cuddy gave a guttural moan that House suppressed with his mouth as their lips continuously smoothed tenderly against each other. Cuddy nibbled gently on his lower lip before reluctantly allowing him to pull away. She smiled serenely when House kissed her forehead lovingly before making his way to his seat across from her.

Cuddy chuckled when she saw he was still wearing the apron. "Going to wear that all night?" she asked, amused.

House's eyebrows shot up in thought as the right side of his face scrunch up and his right eye squeezed shut. "Hmm, after that kiss I thought I should remind you," he said as he held on to his fork and his knife.

Cuddy chuckled and took her first bite of House's steak and she groaned in elation at how delicious it was as her eyes closed in exultation as she savored it. "Oh my God, House, this tastes exquisite!" House stared at her, his mouth half-open at shock in seeing her like that and hearing how she said it.

Cuddy's eyes finally opened after having swallowed her first bite and she drank a little of her wine before gazing at House with mirthful eyes.

"You most certainly cook better than you kiss." Cuddy teased his amazing kissing talents and afterwards complimented his cooking which was by far, bar none, the best steak she's ever had. Seeing that he was still staring dazedly at her, she called his name and he shook himself mentally for staring at her too long. "You okay?" she asked.

Cuddy's jaw dropped open when his answer to her question registered in her ears and she stared at him with that lopsided half-smile which he knew was both out of amusement and annoyance at the double meaning his words contained and implied.

"I'm sorry, you just looked like you had an orgasm when you had my steak." Were House's words after he composed himself, looked at her and lecherously apologized.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:Loved it, liked it, or hated it? Please leave a review and let me know what you think! :D

_**Spoilers for next chapter: **_

_Continuation of the night._

_Morning after [Duh, after night, no smut yet, sorry.]_

_MAYBE A BAD, BAD ARGUMENT… OR SOMETHING. Who knows? I'm a tease._

**Follow me on TWITTER for Sneak Peeks and announcements: Iane_Casey**


	19. In Dissimilar Pages

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews last chapter! :D Please do keep 'em coming.**

**I would like to clear that Cuddy is NOT pregnant. She didn't go through with the IVF, remember? She only had the Menotropin shots. **

* * *

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

CHAPTER 18: IN DISSIMILAR PAGES

_**.**_

It was a beautiful night outside House's veranda. The moon was bright and full, casting a mesmerizing beam of moonlight upon Cuddy's already beautiful face. They were outside, sitting on the couch House had there. Cuddy was positioned in between House's legs with her back snuggled on his chest while they ate House's epic chocolate mousse.

"How did you learn to make these things?" Cuddy asked when House fed her another piece of the cake.

House shrugged, "I got bored and tried it one time."

Cuddy turned her head to look at him and smiled. "And you liked it, didn't you?" she asked.

"I lived with it. It was good to find something to keep me busy once in a while. I would have gone insane if I stayed in one place and did nothing else." House said, taking a bite from the forkful she handed him.

"If you didn't like it you wouldn't have done it for me even if I had to force you to do it had I known you knew how to," Cuddy countered.

"Fine, fine, I liked it, happy?" House asked, smirking.

Cuddy hummed and nodded. "Satiated."

When Cuddy was about to open her mouth and ask something, his phone began to ring violently and he reluctantly stood up and got it when she moved out of his way and sat back down on the couch.

"House." He greeted gruffly, annoyed that his time with Cuddy was disrupted.

"House, it's Crenshaw." His employee greeted, "We have a high profile patient. Blair wants you down here now. Don't worry, the case is interesting."

With that, Crenshaw hung up on him and House looked at Cuddy who was sitting contentedly on his couch out on the veranda, wrapped in his blanket.

An interesting case over Cuddy, or Cuddy over an interesting case? The answer, truth be told, was simple. He'd always choose her. But he had a job to do, one that, though he denies to admit, loves. And that job required him to solve interesting cases. And he lived for interesting cases. Still, he also lived for Cuddy now. That was what he believed.

He had to leave her against his wishes for tonight. And he'll be busy the rest of the week. He had no choice but to solve this case soon so they could be together more until she and Wilson had to head back to Jersey.

One thing was for sure, House thought. This new patient was going to have a hard few days ahead. He unconsciously messed with House's supposed vacation and bonding time with Cuddy. Damn if there wasn't hell to pay in procedures. Well, that sounded harsh but then again, when weren't the procedures he usually used invasive? Shit, those things depended on Blair. House sighed. Revenge won't do him nor the patient any good, he concluded. He just had to do his best to solve this fairly quickly without being an idiot.

Putting the phone back in its cradle he made his way out to the veranda where Cuddy just finished her cake. She smiled up at him from the couch and placed the plate on the table beside her. "Who called?"

House smirked, "Wow, never seen you eat that big a slice before. Be careful, it'll all go down that super tanker."

Cuddy slapped him playfully in the arm as she stood up and held on to his torso while looking up at him with blue eyes that seemed silver from the moonlight. "You'd just love that won't you?" she asked in a low, sexy voice.

"I have to go, have a patient," he excused with an actual regretful face. "You can stay here for the night if you want. Feel free to help yourself to my closet for comfier clothes," House supplied with a shy face. "I'll just accompany you to your suite tomorrow morning if you're scheduled for an early seminar."

Cuddy looked at him, sad that he had to leave but nonetheless touched with his offer for her lips upturned in the cutest of smiles. "Thank you," she said, kissing him deeply, her palms resting on his cheeks as he returned her kiss just as passionately.

In fear of not being able to control himself House pulled away and kissed her cheek before shrugging on his coat, getting his backpack, and begrudgingly making his way out of the condominium building to VBCTH. This better be one hell of an interesting case, he muttered while hailing a cab.

Cuddy gave a small smile and chuckle at how conjugal they've just been. It was very amusing and sweet how they could be as comfortable with each other now. Time and fate may have been screwing with them but it seemed like they were very much on the very same page and part of the book now; and she couldn't have loved that more. She couldn't love him even more now.

Cuddy sighed contentedly, she'll enjoy the last few days with him as much as she can since they'd be separated again for some months because he still had a contract here. It's going to be a long few months without him. And of course she couldn't just up and visit him if she wanted to because she had a job that required her not to be far from the hospital more than a few hours. It was her baby and she had to give it her undivided attention once she's back.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and took the empty plate and the fork she used a while ago, washed them then placed them on the rack. What to do now? She thought. Cuddy approached House's little bookshelf and was surprised that there were few tomes there. So he had his books shipped to his parents' place.

There was nothing for her to do… but watch TV. She opted to take a shower first and have herself dressed in one of House's shirts. She smiled at that plan. She helped herself to his bathroom, certainly impressed by the beautiful and spacious room, not to mention how clean it was. It had both a shower and a tub. She was surprised House even took this big unit. Maybe the sight got to him, she certainly knew it did to her.

She managed to find his linen closet which, obviously, knowing House, wasn't even full of towels, pillowcases, or the like, got herself a soft towel and headed back into the bathroom and took her time showering, making use of what he had there. When she finished, she rummaged through his closet to find that he has acquired many new tees she hasn't seen him wear before. He most probably sent everything else to his parents' as well.

Cuddy took one navy blue tee and donned it. It smelled clean and she was only slightly disappointed that it didn't have his scent until she saw his bed calling out to her. Thank heavens for that big plasma in his room, she thought.

She made sure the front door was locked but not bolted before she reentered House's bedroom which was just the right size; not small but not too big. He had a king-sized bed which she thought was already there when he rented the unit since it was new and she didn't buy that House would actually purchase a bed and a mattress.

Cuddy turned on the plasma and then snuggled under the white, soft and thick duvet. His bed was gloriously comfortable and soft. She took the remote from his nightstand and surfed through different channels until she could find one that interested her. Not able to find one, she settled for National Geographic Channel showing about Blue Whales only to find out more than three minutes later that it was very much the conclusion of the show. She waited to see the Up Next listing and was somewhat pleased yet pained to see that In The Womb was next.

It was a beautiful process to behold, child-bearing, from the point of conceiving until labor and finally, releasing your child into the real world full of promises and every emotion imaginable, Cuddy thought. But for women like her who had high risks of miscarrying and already _have _miscarried, watching these types of shows were bittersweet. Cuddy bit her lip but decided to watch.

* * *

House took a cab back to his condo unit annoyed as ever. He and his team got to diagnose a patient in record time! Seven hours. Seven! He only had to grill the teen's boyfriend in front of the father in order to know what he's been slipping the girl and presto, they had the answer. And it wasn't House alone who diagnosed since it was just so simple that House thought even the "idiot" nurses could've solved it.

He would have loved to watch the wealthy father of his patient punch the living daylights out of the teenage boy but he'd rather bed with Cuddy even if he knew she was most probably out cold.

Seven hours wasted over something so simple. "Stupid kid," House muttered while he was in the cab and the driver shot him a curious glare through the rear-view mirror but returned his eyes towards the road in a split-second.

Minutes later House was standing on the doorstep of his condo, unlocking the knob with his key and entered. While locking and bolting the door, he registered the sounds coming from the plasma in his room and was hoping she was still up but he doubted that. She always wanted to get as much sleep as she could. He grinned upon remembering his late-night calls to her. Now he didn't have to because she was with him.

House's face then turned slightly somber. She'll be heading back to Jersey in five days. Clearing his thoughts, House tried to veto negativity in his thoughts, which was already a hard task to do but he wouldn't have fun with her if his mind was clogged up with thoughts.

He took a glass from the rack, pulled open the fridge door and got himself water. He decided to shower before entering the bedroom in a gray shirt and plaid pajama bottoms. He found her facing away from him like a curled up kitten. He smiled serenely at just the sight of her buried underneath his covers and sleeping soundly.

What he wouldn't give to always see her like that every night and every morning.

House took the remote from the bed and turned the TV off. He carefully climbed in the bed, thankful that she didn't awake from the dip. He gently drew her towards him, smirking when she somewhat eagerly turned towards the warmth emanating from him and slung her right arm across his abdomen before sliding it up his chest.

He gently tugged at the duvet to cover them both and Gregory House died at that exact moment.

It wasn't perverted, it was a natural reaction, what he did. He stared at those perfectly toned legs and trailed his cerulean dazed eyes up her glorious thighs. She had _his _shirt on, just like he offered earlier for her to pick anything. And damn it if it didn't trigger naughty thoughts in him.

Instead of fondling her though in her sleep, he opted to think of Wilson naked and immediately but still carefully tugged the duvet over them both.

Cuddy cuddled closer and House's smirk mellowed into one small smile as he glanced down at her, her face illuminated by his dim bedside lamp.

Then he narrowed his eyes and tried to look closer at her face. They were tear-stained. But why? He frowned.

And since he got there with the plasma on, that meant she cried over something on TV. But what on earth was worth crying over on the National Geographic Channel?

Something clutched at his heart, no matter what the reason was, he reached for her face and caressed her tear-stained right and left cheek respectively and she gave a soft mewl while shuffling closer to him, placing her head under his chin and her right leg settling on top of his right leg.

House stared at the ceiling for a few minutes before he touched the lamp to turn it off.

He slept soundly for the second night straight while being held captive by his angel.

He'd have it no other way.

* * *

_**January 25, 10:15 am**_

_**Gazebo II**_

Cuddy and Wilson were seated in one of the middle rows, waiting for the room to fill up for their seminar that morning.

House brought Cuddy back to her suite as promised earlier that day and left her with the excuse that Blair called to see him that morning for his speech on one lecture at the event. But they had breakfast out first before he accompanied her to the hotel.

"How's everything with House?" Wilson asked, looking at her, grinning back as soon as her face started to gleam. She had this glow the morning after the party. Though Wilson was pretty sure they haven't slept together yet because if they had, House would have gloated now, wouldn't he?

Shit. Wilson mentally slapped himself. Now he was thinking about House and Cuddy's sex life? He had to get one, he thought, sans the sex. Well, maybe the sex wouldn't be bad but first he _had_ to go get a life.

Cuddy smiled, "Everything's great. He's sweet, thoughtful and—"

Wilson looked at her with a "are you kidding me?" look as he cut her off, "You sure we're still talking about House?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him. "I'm not delusional if that's what you're thinking," she dryly told him. "Besides, what else does it mean if House was to be sweet and thoughtful for me?" she rhetorically asked.

But Wilson answered dramatically for effect. "It signals the end of the world and the human race!"

Cuddy playfully slapped him in the arm as she smiled despite herself. "Shut up."

Wilson chuckled and laughed quietly. "Well I'm happy for the two of you," he told her, his brown eyes honest when he made eye contact. When he unglued his eyes from her though, his browns landed on Blair who just entered the room and sat upfront, next to who he supposed was her employee since the man gave a polite nod and they conversed professionally from his view.

"Thanks, Wilson," Cuddy said.

They remained silent for awhile until Cuddy followed Wilson's line of sight. She smiled small as she asked, "You really like her, don't you?"

Wilson didn't look at her as he continued to watch Blair smiling as a woman sat next to her and they chatted, once in a while. "Yeah," Wilson blew out, looking at Cuddy.

"Speaking of which, what happened on your "date"?" Cuddy asked, one hand air-quoting.

"It was good, fun, we talked. I asked her out, she shot me down but not without explanation. Then I asked her if we could just go out as friends and she said she'll think about it," Wilson confided, looking at Cuddy now.

Cuddy pursed her lips and asked, "May I ask what her excuse was?"

Wilson shrugged, "She said she just got out of a very bad break up. And that's understandable."

"Oh," Cuddy whispered as she looked at Blair. If she was doing this great, she must be a very strong woman, she thought to herself.

"It's great House's leg is seemingly all-clear." Wilson suddenly spoke, changing their topic.

Cuddy sighed, amazed by that. "I know. He's been doing PT, he's been working out, he's been eating healthy… well he still eats junk but still. That's a major change from…" Cuddy trailed off.

Wilson sighed as well but then a small smile formed on his face. "I know. It's barely believable to others, most certainly, but it's very true."

"Don't worry, he'll be an ass very soon once he's back at Princeton," Cuddy chuckled half-annoyed, half-amused as she continued. "He'll say he has a reputation to complete.

"Mind if I go out with him tonight?" Wilson asked Cuddy.

"Sure. But know that I don't take rivalry easily," Cuddy saucily told him, her eyebrows raised as she stared him down, feigning jealousy.

"Don't worry, I'd rather die than go gay… most especially if over House." Wilson scoffed quietly making Cuddy laugh.

* * *

_**Crystal Pavilion A and B, 3 pm**_

"I heard everything's good between you and Cuddy." Wilson told House who was beside him.

They weren't the least bit paying attention to the smart yet smug talking man on the podium and they've been talking to one another for more than half an hour already. Anyway, neither of them liked the topic; The Importance of Ethics in the Hospital. They didn't like it for obvious reasons.

House didn't like it because he rarely-if not at all, followed ethics while Wilson already knew them and practiced it well.

"Everything's good," he told his best friend.

"You know I still can't believe at times that you actually did what you did," Wilson blew.

House scrunched his forehead at that and looked at him with a small smirk. "Should I take that as a compliment or—"

"Whatever you want to take it as," Wilson nonchalantly cut him off. House shrugged.

"Wow," Wilson said, releasing another breath as a thought entered his mind, "I could imagine one blue-eyed kid running around wreaking havoc by now if she didn't…" Wilson shut up when House's piercing gaze stopped him.

But then House sighed and calmed himself. Don't dwell on the past, he thought. "You're an idiot. The kid wouldn't have been able to stand yet let alone run if he or she did make it all the way. Heck, it wouldn't have popped out of her yet," House corrected. Wilson laughed.

But then a question popped up inside of his mind. Speaking of kids… Should he… No he shouldn't, Wilson thought. No. He's been looking for Cuddy all morning to ask her about it but he couldn't get her alone so he haven't been able to try. He had to let _her _be the one to tell House about it.

"So… when will you be back and busting my wallet for lunch at Plainsboro?" Wilson opted to ask House instead.

"Few months from now. My contract is for a year. I couldn't just up and leave. They had the department built when I came it'd be unethical," House said sarcastically.

"Like you care about ethics!" Wilson replied without missing a beat.

House chuckled quietly. He then honestly informed Wilson, "I would liked it better if it were less than a year but there's really nothing I can do about it, is there?"

Wilson patted House on the shoulder for reassurance as he told him, "Don't worry. Cuddy's smitten. She'll wait for your ass to land back on Jersey soil."

"Don't you mean my feet?" House smirked.

Wilson rolled his eyes at him but decided to ignore him and finally shifted his attention to the speaker.

"It's great to see you again, Wilson," House said out of the blue.

Wilson was surprised as he smiled and looked at his best friend who had a mask on again but he saw the ghost of a smile lingering there somewhere.

"Great to see you too, House," he replied, looking back at the speaker.

House smiled small at that.

* * *

_**Cuddy's suite, 9 pm**_

House declined Wilson's offer of drinks that night and instead scheduled him for the next evening. Cuddy asked him why and all House had for an answer was a shrug. House took Cuddy out to dinner and they walked through different stores for a while, much to House's annoyance. Well, he was just annoyed at the men looking at _his _woman with obvious interest. Most probably not with her but her gifted curves.

Later that night House was in the couch on the suite's living room while Cuddy was showering.

Cuddy's Blackberry then rang and rang but Cuddy couldn't hear it, obviously. He reached forward and looked at the caller. It was just Wilson. If it weren't he would've put it down at once. It was just Wilson yet he let it ring and ring. It was still Cuddy's cell.

Five more calls later and it stopped ringing. House didn't answer it.

Still, curiosity got the best of him and he browsed to see if Wilson left a message on her voicemail. He checked to see any from Wilson and was surprised when he did catch one.

"Cuddy, I just phoned to ask if you were ever going to let House know about the IVF shots. Anyway, sorry to leave this message but I've been trying to contact you throughout the day but just couldn't reach you."

House didn't know what to think. Cuddy tried IVF again?! That question alone set off different sirens in his never-sleeping mind.

When did she start taking the shots? Was it weeks, a month, or months after he left? If she started weeks after, there was no doubt that she could be pregnant by now. Even if she started a month or two after he left!

If she started weeks after he left then here was a high possibility that it wasn't his sperm that she had the hospital use but some jack-off's. Of course she wouldn't chance another try at the one that has already failed.

But she miscarried from too much work, stressing herself out, didn't she? At least it wasn't his specimen's fault, not that he was blaming her for it. He was just glad that it wasn't _him _that failed her.

Why didn't she tell him this? Why not over the phone or personally now that they were officially a couple, now that they've admitted to loving one another face to face? With love came trust, that was a given. And they did, do, trust one another, right? Well at least House thought they did. He didn't know what she thought.

Could she be pregnant now? Maybe yes, maybe not. He didn't know the answer. But some things backed up his theory that she may very well just be pregnant. Dizzy spells, headaches, last night's hormones (he concluded that she wouldn't cry over anything on National Geographic)… what else?

Chagrined, House sighed deeply. He either left this alone or talk to Cuddy about it. The latter he went with almost immediately for that was what he needed. The questions will eat at him. Was she really with him now or was there some ploy? Was there just something she needed from him now? Was she getting him back so the hospital could have its biggest asset back?

No, that couldn't be. That wasn't Cuddy. That, he knew for sure.

What was the answer to their relationship, then? Was it doomed to finish as quickly as it came when they met not three days ago?

Whatever the reasons or answers she had were, House knew he'll be getting them soon enough when she emerged from the bedroom of her suite wearing a robe around her slender figure. The robe hugged her in all the right curves while her hair was curly and damp.

Sure she was very much attractive and tempting to touch but he was not in the slightest bit in the mood to ogle her at that moment. He concentrated on an object in front of him and stared at it, ignoring her completely as he thought of how to ask her once she asked him the inevitable question—

"Are you okay?"

Zigzagging and deflecting weren't his closest friends that night as he opted for fast and direct to the point. "When were you going to tell me about the IVF? If you were even planning on letting me know." He asked in a scarily calm voice.

Cuddy's look of concern then morphed into a look of both guilt and confusion. "How did you—"

House cut her off at that moment both with his penetrating gaze and same nerving voice. "Just answer the question."

Crossing her arms in front of her she decided as insane an idea as it was, to answer back just to get a reaction from him because a Gregory House composed and reserved was very much petrifying. "Answer me first!" she firmly told him.

House glared at her slightly but broke eye contact, bracing himself for a tongue lashing as he disclosed how he got the information he needn't have obtained.

Now it was Cuddy's fuse that broke as she demanded an explanation for his breach of her privacy. "You went through my voicemail?" Hacking her laptop for information he needed for blackmail and manipulating she could stomach but going through her Blackberry wasn't a good thing, and House himself knew it. Not that she was hiding anything, it was just that just like him, she highly values her privacy.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" House asked her silently, deducing that it was true based on her reaction. He stood up and leant on a wall, Cuddy turning in his direction.

"I didn't and I don't have to!" Cuddy defended. She needn't tell him anything about the IVF! There wasn't even anything about it that would matter! Why was he making such a big deal out of it?

House pushed off the wall and walked towards the door to exit the suite. "Where are you going?" she asked, her voice now one of concern and even more confusion as he walked away from her without so much as a goodnight or a goodbye.

House stopped in front of the door, his hand already on the knob. "Anywhere but here," was his cold reply, not letting loose of the emotions flooding his tensed system.

He's running away from her, from them, again? She couldn't let him, she thought desolately. She was rooted in her spot when she heard that answer, her thoughts running as fast as her heart was beating. "Why?" was the only thing her brain could formulate to verbally say.

House indignantly scoffed at that and he childishly answered her, "Like you care."

Cuddy's eyes widened at that as she instantly regained a little strength to move and she made her way towards him but he was now at her doorstep, using the door as a wall between them. "Of course I care," Cuddy honestly replied, thinking why he would even tell her she didn't. Her eyes were seeking his but he won't latch on her desperately needed connection to his soul. Tears had been running down her face the moment she conceived that he was leaving her again.

Breathing deeply House looked at her finally, his ocean blue eyes stormy with emotions, betrayal leaving the waves for some reason she didn't know. "I got my answer," he quietly replied.

"To what?" Cuddy desperately wanted to be on the same page with him at that moment because she didn't know if she said or did anything wrong or implied something that she really didn't mean nor intend to.

Cut deeply that she wasn't aware of what she's done to him for the last minutes he caught her imploring gaze and answered her.

"To us."

With that final piercing respons he closed the door gently and briskly walked away.

He left her alone... again.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Absence smut poll up at my profile. Leave a vote, four choices there so vote! I'll close the poll on Monday night. :D

_Please leave a review and let me know what you think. _

_**So… what do you think will happen next? **_

_Btw, where are the others? You guys still there?_

_**The only spoiler I leave you: **_

_**It's probably going to get nasty. Probably. Guesses? **_


	20. Let Me In

**A/N: Gracias por los comentarios! :D**

**When did I not fix anything? Hmm? Hehe... **

_Oh, and you'll find out about the nasty thing at the very end… *wink wink*_

_**Enjoy the Huddy!**_

**

* * *

**

ABSENCE

* * *

**CHAPTER 19: LET ME IN**

.

_"To us."_

_With that final piercing response he closed the door gently and briskly walked away._

_He left her alone... again._

She couldn't just stand there with tears streaming down her face, staring at the door the man she loved just exited not more than seven minutes ago!

What was his self-inquired question anyway? Why did getting his answer become based on what her IVF decision was? Said decision, by the way, she didn't even pursue. She only had the Menotropin shots she had Wilson give her, that's all! Why was House reacting strongly about having heard about her IVF decision, anyway? It's not like she went through with it. Of course he could be disappointed that she didn't tell him but really, what was even there to tell?

What the hell did Wilson even say in the voicemail? What did he…

Cuddy, finding reason to move and do something productive swiped her Blackberry from the coffee table and checked Wilson's message. What she heard though put all the missing pieces of the puzzle in place as her eyes widened in shock at House's possible conclusion earlier.

"He thought I went through with it every step!" she mentally gasped. She had to tell him everything, then. She had to make him understand everything. And yes, it definitely did matter if he thought she went through with it.

Of course… The thought of her having some unknown jack-off's child entered his mind when he heard it. Hadn't he even thought that maybe she decided to use _his_ sperm? Did he even remember having left any?

Yes, she was supposed to go through with it but she wanted _his _child. Nobody else's.

Cuddy palmed her forehead, troubled, when a thought entered her mind. It wasn't impossible but of course he assumed that since she took the shots that she was possibly pregnant already. Add that to her record of dizzy spells the night of the gala, of course he'd connected it to that.

The only problem? She wasn't pregnant!

She had to talk to him.

They were both at fault. Her for not telling him and being stubborn in telling him just that earlier even if he probably wouldn't have listened; him for assuming and deducing she was pregnant when all he had as evidences were her dizzy spells and Wilson's message.

Cuddy collected herself and her thoughts and made her way to her bedroom, changing into the first casual clothes she could find. She grabbed her purse and coat and headed out of the hotel. She had someone hail a cab for her and she instructed the driver to bring her to Quaywest.

_**

* * *

**_

Blair's house, 10:00 pm

_Seriously woman, you have got to stop thinking of those brown eyes! _Blair mentally scolded herself in front of her home office desk. A cup of java in her hands, warming her up, her eyes scanning the budget proposal for the expansion of the Oncology children's ward.

Great, just great. The paper works she was going over was about oncology. Now that's a very much easier way to make her forget of Wilson… not!

Those brown eyes that trailed about her features whenever they were in the same lectures. That caring persona and that look as he gave her half a smile when she catches him looking at her with a soft unguarded exterior. He was nice, a gentleman, sweet, what wasn't to like?

She's tried to make herself believe that it wouldn't work since he'll be here for less than a week! She never believed in long distance relationships.

Who was she kidding?! Based on Wilson's track record of three divorces, a long distance relationship, or if any kind at all, would work!

"Oh God!" Blair groaned, placing her cup on the coaster on her desk. She leant her forehead on the mahogany desk. She usually had no problem with men but why was she being pulled into Wilson's orbit?

She had not the slightest idea why.

"Alright, fine, fine! One date and I'm done!" she yelled out in the confines of her home office, frustrated at not being able to resist that… attractive brown-eyed teddy bear.

House was going to have a field day with this.

God bless his balls if he couldn't keep his tongue in check once he found out.

Blair took hold of her phone and browsed through her contacts, looking for Wilson. She pressed the call button and waited for him to answer. She was not much for texting unless necessary.

"Wilson." The good oncologist answered on the other line, not checking to see who his caller was as he let his eyes remain on the plasma's screen.

"It's Lexi," Blair said, relieved to be able to calm her nerves.

The voice, the name, and the short introduction had Wilson grasping at the remote to mute what he was watching in the span of a millisecond.

"Hey…" _Too casual, idiot,_ Wilson reprimanded himself, shutting an eye at his stupidity.

"Hi," Blair greeted, not hiding the smile on her face since he wouldn't be able to see her do so. She found his causal greeting cute.

_Now she's acting like a teenager?! Cute… Lexi, really? _Once a giggle escaped her lips she vows to strangle herself to death.

"Wilson---"

"Call me James."

Blair gave a half smile at that. "James…" she started. "I was wondering if your dinner offer still stands…"

Wilson's eyes lit up like a child's in Christmas morning. While she was trailing off, he took advantage and smiling, told her, "Of course. Mark a date and I'll do the rest." Wilson told her. His voice polite and soft, not at all arrogant.

Blair smiled genuinely. "27th?" she suggested.

"27th it is. It's a date." Wilson said with a smile, taking a mental memo of the date.

"Anything you had in mind for dinner?" Wilson considerately asked since he really didn't know much about her food preference like House probably did.

"Anything. Surprise me." Blair said, the corners of her mouth tugging up into a playful smile as butterflies suddenly made an appearance in the pit of her stomach, fluttering there and making her somewhat giddy.

Wilson will possibly be the death of her grownup life, Blair thought, biting her lip to control the ever widening grin on her beautiful face.

"I'll try my best." Wilson promised.

They spoke for a little more until Blair told Wilson she had to finish up something. Wilson let her go and they said their goodnights and goodbyes then hung up.

_**

* * *

**_

House's unit 10:30 pm

He has been sitting in his veranda for what seemed like an eternity already. All he could think about was Cuddy; remembering her sitting in between his legs feeding him cake, her smile, her eyes, her kisses, her scent. Every thought that was running through his never-sleeping mind was about her. All his thoughts of her mixed with what has occurred, leaving him confused about what to do and what to feel.

House didn't know what to feel. He was tipping on the edge of livid, disappointed, hurt, and every other bad emotion was trying to eat at him at that moment as he recalled that she may very well be pregnant… not with his child.

That was what his problem was. He knew how it felt being taken care of just because someone was feeling obligated to do so. He knew since he was but a young child that his father wasn't his biological father. If Cuddy was pregnant with somebody else's child and she carried it to term and even gave birth, he honestly couldn't tell if he'd be able to accept the child. He guessed that he'd rather not. He didn't want to be like his father. He wasn't his father.

Why didn't Cuddy just tell him?

House sighed and rubbed his face with his palm. He stood up and walked to his fridge, getting himself water to wet his suddenly parched mouth and throat.

So much for planning to make the most of the days Cuddy and Wilson will be staying there.

House set his empty soda can on the floor and stood up, making his way to his bedroom. He knew for sure sleep won't come to him that night.

Halfway to his bedroom the the bell to his unit rang. He ignored it and continued on his way. It rang a second and a third time before silence filled his empty condominium unit, only to be replaced by loud knocks on the door.

There were only two people who could be knocking on his door at that moment and at that time. Wilson or Cuddy. Although Wilson hasn't been to his pad yet, Cuddy probably told him. But if it was Wilson, House would have heard his name being called already.

It all comes down to Cuddy.

House sighed. As much as he wanted to let her get tired of ringing his doorbell and knocking down his door, he just couldn't.

House walked to his door and looked through the peephole. It was indeed Cuddy.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it House opened the door, instantly meeting her eyes.

"Mind if I come in?" she asked softly.

House opened the door wider and let her in wordlessly. He noticed her face was slightly blotched. She also looked tired. She cried.

_He _made her cry.

House closed and bolted the door and followed her to the living room where she sat at his wide and spacious couch waiting for him.

"Why?" House asked her, not needing to specify what he was referring to.

She knew he wouldn't sit beside her. Not after what he thought she did. She knew he'd keep his distance. He was slowly going to pull away from her again; She didn't want that.

"I'm not pregnant," she finally spoke, her eyes truthful as she glued them to his.

"I don't really have any say in the matter so why would I care?" he stated, looking away from her. A part of him though, deep down, wanted what she just declared to be the whole truth. If it was indeed true, he owed her an apology.

Cuddy chose to ignore that and instead focused on just telling him everything so they could be okay again. She didn't want them fighting until the conference was over. "I didn't go through with it. The Menotropin shots were as far as I got…" she disclosed, meeting his stunned cerulean eyes. "Wilson was probably just asking if I were ever going to tell you that I _thought _about trying it again."

Giving him a small, teasing smile, Cuddy informed him, "You're not always right, House."

"So you're really not…" House trailed off, looking at her with slightly relaxed features. Hesitantly he sat on the other end of the couch, little distanced from Cuddy who then faced him, her elbows propped on the throw pillow on her lap.

"I'm not. Wilson told me to at least wait after the seminar," Cuddy started, her voice serious. "I thought of…" she paused, looking at him, wondering whether to tell him or not. Biting her bottom lip in thought she finally decided to add that important fact, hoping his ego would at least go hide for a while. "I thought you weren't ever going to be back after months of not a single news about you. I thought about trying In Vitro again and asked for Wilson's help then—"

"So Wilson already saw your supertanker?" House cut off, his smirk one that Cuddy wanted to wipe off with sandpaper.

"Shut up." She told him, crossing her arms in front of her defensively and made her deliberate telling him that she planned to use the specimen he might have forgotten still was left.

House pouted and then waited for her to continue, anger long lost in his system the moment he allowed himself to trust and believe her words that she wasn't pregnant. But when Cuddy was about to continue, House patted the space beside him, inviting her to sit beside him, maybe inviting her back into his arms as well.

Cuddy gave a relieved, small smile and shuffled to his side, burrowing her face in his neck and wrapping an arm around his waist while her other fell limp on the small space between them. Feeling his warmth made her smile. Him welcoming her into his arms more than said that they were okay again. Cuddy breathed in the scent of him, all male and some scent she forgot and can't place her finger on at that moment. The feeling of just being emotional when hugged so tenderly was overwhelming that she felt moisture in her eyes. She'd give anything to be in his arms like this for the rest of her life. House was, as insane as it sounded to any sane person's ears, the one for her. And she hoped she for him.

House wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her a little more against him and burying his nose in her curls, reveling in feeling her against him again. Unconsciously, he placed a feather light kiss on the crown of her head, causing her to smile up at him, tears evidently accumulating in her gorgeous sapphire eyes.

"What? I know it's horrifying having let Wilson see your rotund ass but you don't have to cry about it!" House joked, wiping at her eye when a lone tear fell from her porcelain face. Cuddy gave a low chuckle and leant into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed, feeling his hand cupping her cheek. They weren't rough as she thought they'd be. Before it would have been callous because of the cane.

After a while of uncharacteristic Houseian sweetness, House let go of her cheek and Cuddy replaced it on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," House whispered, causing Cuddy to once again raise her head to look him straight in the eyes.

"You didn't do anything," Cuddy said, her hand automatically squeezing his bicep in reassurance.

They sat there in relative silence until a thought entered Cuddy's mind. She was hesitant to ask it at first but nevertheless, after him answering her she'd tell him then that it was his child alone that she wanted.

"Did you walk out earlier because I didn't tell you or because you were afraid it was somebody else's?" she asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Squeezing his bicep again and implored him with the mirrors to her soul she said, "Please tell me the truth."

House couldn't deflect or lie to her at that moment. Her eyes mirrored how he could break her heart just by avoiding the question so he took a deep breath and condemned himself to speak the truth for the woman he loved instead of deflecting and scarring her more than he already has in the past.

"Both. But the latter hit a nerve," House answered, his focus on her, his voice in the lowest possible octave his vocal chords can muster. "I couldn't…" House trailed off and then collected himself for a while, scrubbing his face with the palm of his hand. "I didn't… I knew I possibly wouldn't be able to accept any child that isn't half mine." House then managed to say, afterwards severing their connection, his head lowering, his eyes focusing on the floor.

"I thought you wanted me to be happy?" Cuddy asked him curiously. She knew he did. She just wanted to know a little more about his thoughts before she told him she never thought of any other man to be the father of her child.

House looked at her guiltily. "I do." He answered truthfully. "But I knew what it felt like to be looked after out of feeling obligated and I didn't want that with you. You deserve better if you were indeed pregnant with…" House said, not able to finish the statement because he'd end up with the words 'bastard child'.

Cuddy smiled sweetly at House. Her next move rendered him speechless. Straddling him within half a second, Cuddy met his parted lips with her own, kissing him with all the tenderness she could express with her lips as he kissed her back just as tenderly, his hands cupping her nape. Parting for air, Cuddy leant her forehead to his and whispered breathlessly, "You're an idiot."

House guffawed at her words and leant his head back on the couch. "Justify that accusation." He said playfully.

"It's not an accusation, it's a fact." Cuddy cleared. "I was supposed to use the sperm you still had left." She finally divulged, whispering the words that she knew would both make him confused and surprised.

House then looked at her with wide eyes. "Why didn't you go through with it?" he asked quietly.

"Wilson told me to think about it or at least wait until after the conference. If we didn't hear anything from you by then, I would have gone through it all the way." Cuddy answered.

"You had other viable options for a donor, why use mine when it failed you once already?" House silently asked, wanting to ask everything itching on his mind, understanding that drawing his own conclusions would only lead to further arguments and misunderstandings between them.

Cuddy buried her face in the crook of his neck, hugging him tightly like a child wanting to get as close to someone as virtually possible. A few seconds f silence Cuddy answered his question simply, saying, "Yours is the only child I want." She whispered serenely into the silence of the night whilst in the arms of her lover.

House smiled despite himself, kissing the side of her temple lovingly as he slowly ran his hand along her spine. As much as the words she uttered sounded like a smitten teenager's wish, he didn't smirk because what she said made his practically decade-long stoned heart flutter back to life. She was right; he was an idiot. An idiot for even leaving her in the first place, a bigger idiot for running away again over something he didn't understand.

"Thank you," House found himself whispering, giving her another kiss on her temple.

Cuddy raised her head again and looked at him with watery eyes then kissing him. House's hands cupped both sides of her cheek, running his fingers along her face, wiping away some of the tears that fell. "I love you," Cuddy whispered a fraction away from his swollen lips moments later, her eyes closed, just wanting to feel him, his breath touching her lips, his hands caressing her.

House snaked one of his hands to her nape and he leaned forward, nuzzling her cheek, his scruff sending sparks flying through her system. "I love you." House responded, his voice huskily soft.

Cuddy smiled against his lips, sweetly sliding the tip of her nose along his for some time before House finally met her lips for the hundredth time that night, Cuddy smiling at his impatience. Their mouths and tongues mated, no fighting for dominance. They were rediscovering each other's mouth, taking their time to uncover every place like detectives making sure that every spot was checked and searched. Cuddy moaned into his mouth when House sucked passionately on her upper lip then running his hot tongue over it, making tingles run up and down her spine and down to a spot in between her thighs. She shivered shamelessly against him, feeling his smile or his smirk-she wasn't sure which- against her neck as his gifted mouth mapped the length of her neck, gliding back to the curve of her jaw, kissing, nibbling, and softly sucking, her hands running through his hair and his nape all the while sighing lustfully in want and need for him and for things to escalate between them at that moment.

Cuddy moaned and reflexively ground her pelvis against his when House sucked hotly at her jugular, her need for him being ignited with that action alone. House gave a low groan, arousal pouring from his lips which he then used to continue kissing her neck.

House's right hand slid down and securely gripped her rotund bottom, causing her to gasp against his lips while his left wrapped around her waist as he used his might to lift the two of them off the couch. Cuddy wrapped her arms behind his neck when they got upright, clinging onto him while House walked them towards his bedroom. Cuddy's core throbbed and her breathing quickened in anticipation of what they were clearly escalating to with every step House took. She kissed him, not caring if he became unable to guide them to his room and his bed.

Indeed, House, despite having memorized his place already, wasn't able to, for the life of him, find their path even if he tried to keep his eyes open. He opted to pin her to a wall, her legs wrapped high around his waist possessively. Leaning his forehead to hers, House opened his eyes and looked at her, excited for him, for them, for what they were about to do; her eyes closed, chest heaving, face flushed in the most gorgeous pink and her lips swollen from their kissing.

He waited for her to open her eyes before giving her the most serene yet adoring smile he could muster. He was at peace with himself, having her pinned between him and the wall, without the slightest pain at all. He was standing tall and proud that he could carry her without needing anything. He was at peace at being able to be wholly man for her.

Cuddy noticed the gleam of happiness in his eyes and the tranquility in his features all the while their hearts thudded mercilessly in their cavities. She couldn't help herself so she just hugged him, the moment just perfect.

Purely blissful.

Cuddy placed a soft, unadulterated kiss to his neck while House stood there, pinning her, her legs around him. She was happy that he was. Smiling against his neck, Cuddy then laughed and slapped him in the back when House faked dropping her, causing her to squeal in shock. She unsuccessfully glared at him but it was gone as soon as it featured on her face when House kissed her fervently, her hand caressing his cheek, loving how the feel of his neat stubble grazing her palm turned her on. Before long Cuddy ran her hands along the span of House's toned shoulders and down his chest and lower until she reached the hem of his concert tee, pulling it up. How they managed to get that off him without her falling on her ass, they didn't know. Actually it was more like they didn't care for the moment Cuddy's soft hands ran along his skin, House didn't care about anything else but the feel of that and how it made certain parts of him react and the need to satisfy _his _woman.

Ungluing their kiss-swollen lips, House leaned his head on her collarbone, pecking her there and then gliding his lips upwards. "Cuddy…" he started on a raspy, unintentionally sexy voice, nibbling on her jaw before kissing the spot he nibbled on.

"Yes?" Cuddy queried on a needy sigh, her head tilted back, offering him her neck to lavish attention on.

"Tell me what you want." House smoothly encouraged her to tell him, his passion-stormy oceans connecting with her yearning sapphires which were glimmering in rapture at his recent ministrations.

Cuddy ran her palm across his cheek while she continued to look him in the eyes, her heart content. She ran her index and middle finger down his lips, and stared at those sexy pucker before looking back at his glorious baby blue eyes.

"I want you." Cuddy said on a whisper, pecking him on the lips. "Always you," she pronounced endearingly, meeting his lips yet again and pouring out all the love she could in that zealous kiss.

Her answer made House's heart growl like a proud lion and so he detached them from the wall and he carried her effortlessly to his bedroom. Gently laying her down on the soft bed with her eyes never parting from him, House smiled at her which she readily returned.

"I love you." House whispered before enclosing her luscious lips with his.

Cuddy answered by pulling his head towards her even more, deepening their kiss.

Pulling away for air Cuddy looked up at House after a lone tear escaped her eye. She couldn't believe they were at this point now. And she couldn't believe how far they've gone and how far more they had to go through. But with him, finally being _with _him, she was prepared to fight for them. Less than twenty years of foreplay is enough. Fate agreed with them this time, and Cuddy was glad that it was _their _time, now.

She whispered her pleading heart's wish to him before he could kiss her again, running her fingers across his hair, "Don't ever leave me again." She said, her eyes locked onto his azure gaze.

House closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking through her soul and promising her, "Never."

_**

* * *

**__**A/N: **Hope this was worth the wait! _

_**Please leave some love and sugar, and or frustration at where I left it.**_

_Oh, and about that NASTY spoiler from last chapter… well, it started here and will be continued in the next chapter. ;) _

_**Needless to say, SMUT won the poll… I hope you smuddicts are happy! Haha… I'm a smuddict too, ;) …**_


	21. Like You Want Me To

**A/N: **_**Seriously, where are the others? *pouts* Last chapter had really fewer reviews than the last. Made me think you guys gave up on this story… **_

_As I've reported on BW, I'm back! :D One update per day, if I don't get to update one day, you get two, the next! I'm still thinking whether or not I should rest on Sundays. _

_**WARNING: SMUT from beginning to end… **_

_Special thank you chapter for reaching 500 reviews!_

To everyone who has helped this story reach 500 reviews, I humbly thank you all for reading Absence... It warms my heart that you appreciate the story! I aim to make you happy! :)

_**Enjoy the smut, smuddicts! :D**_

* * *

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

**_CHAPTER 20: LIKE YOU WANT ME TO_**

.

_Ungluing their kiss-swollen lips, House leaned his head on her collarbone, pecking her there and then gliding his lips upwards. "Cuddy…" he started on a raspy, unintentionally sexy voice, nibbling on her jaw before kissing the spot he nibbled on._

_"Yes?" Cuddy queried on a needy sigh, her head tilted back, offering him her neck to lavish attention on._

_"Tell me what you want." House smoothly encouraged her to tell him, his passion-stormy oceans connecting with her yearning sapphires which were glimmering in rapture at his recent ministrations._

_Cuddy ran her palm across his cheek while she continued to look him in the eyes, her heart content. She ran her index and middle finger down his lips, and stared at those sexy pucker before looking back at his glorious baby blue eyes._

_"I want you." Cuddy said on a whisper, pecking him on the lips. "Always you," she pronounced endearingly, meeting his lips yet again and pouring out all the love she could in that zealous kiss._

_Her answer made House's heart growl like a proud lion and so he detached them from the wall and he carried her effortlessly to his bedroom. Gently laying her down on the soft bed with her eyes never parting from him, House smiled at her which she readily returned._

_"I love you." House whispered before enclosing her luscious lips with his._

_Cuddy answered by pulling his head towards her even more, deepening their kiss._

_Pulling away for air Cuddy looked up at House after a lone tear escaped her eye. She couldn't believe they were at this point now. And she couldn't believe how far they've gone and how far more they had to go through. But with him, finally being with him, she was prepared to fight for them. Less than twenty years of foreplay is enough. Fate agreed with them this time, and Cuddy was glad that it was their time, now._

_She whispered her pleading heart's wish to him before he could kiss her again, running her fingers across his hair, "Don't ever leave me again." She said, her eyes locked onto his azure gaze._

_House closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before looking through her soul and promising her, "Never._

His words plunging directly to her heart and her memory, Cuddy closed her eyes and once again connected them to his. The moment relatively quiet, their breathing minutely heard echoing through the four corners of the room, there were only them in the world.

Just them, together.

Biting her lower lip in anticipation, Cuddy nodded her consent when House trailed his hands from her sides down to the hem of the shirt she was wearing, giving him permission to remove the hindrance for their skin to meet. House slowly drew her shirt upwards; the edges of his fingers grazing her skin with the utmost lightness that made her spine tingle and her nerve endings go haywire while her blue eyes remained connected to his own glorious pair.

Discarding the shirt on the floor, House took in the sight of her upper body revealed to him alone. She was perfectly sculpted; her petite frame underneath him, her breasts accentuated by her lacy bra, her midriff toned.

Running her arms up his bicep and then to his nape, Cuddy pulled House's head down to her to kiss him yet again. Their lips melding into each other's while House's hands cruised to her back, feeling her smooth skin with his hands. He unclasped her bra, making Cuddy's breath hitch, and threw it somewhere and then continued molding his lips with hers.

This was everything he's dreamed of for so long and now it was finally happening. What he did to deserve her despite everything, he'll never know but he's glad and thankful they were together now. And screwing this up was not an option.

He wasn't going to screw this up. And as he promised, he won't ever leave her again.

His heart clenched that she'll be leaving soon and the longing Cuddy could already feel pouring from his mouth to hers. She ran her hands through his short hair, dragging her nails up and down his nape, making him moan into her mouth.

House trailed his hand up the length of Cuddy's arm which was slung around his nape, making her shiver, then capturing her small, soft hand with his. He sensually held her hand by the backside of it, sensually tickling her palm with a swift barely there caress before holding it once again and kissing her palm amiably like a gentleman would his lady.

Cuddy gazed at his gestures under love-laced heavy passion-lidded sapphire orbs illuminated by the stream of moonlight coming in from the floor-to-ceiling blinds of the room's wide glass window. She kept her unerring gaze on his regal features as she caressed his fake with her palm, his stubble turning her on as they grazed her skin, her want of him mounting.

House placed one more lingering kiss into her palm before lazily, passionately, trekking the path from her wrist to where her neck met her shoulder with his lips, lavishing her heating skin with kisses and small nips.

Cuddy moaned when House reached her neck and sucked on a spot she never knew could burn her so fiercely and she tilted her head to the side, granting him more space to taste her milky skin. She was putty in his arms. She gave back at least, scratching her short, French-tipped nails down his back, making him groan in pleasure, and she felt his lower parts stirring as his pelvis was pressed against hers. She also felt herself getting ready with all the stimulation.

God, the thought of their relationship's oncoming consummation was making her impatient but she wanted this first, _real,_ lovemaking with him to be what it really should be about: love. And not just sex.

She finally closed her eyes and wholeheartedly just _felt _and savoredeverything he gave, giving back just as well.

Pulling away from her neck, House kissed her cheek then momentarily gazed down at her, his goddess, his life. He continued pleasuring her, kissing his way to the back of her ear, eliciting a gasp from his woman when he lightly sucked there and repeated it with a small satisfied grin that what he was doing was having the desired effect to have her ready.

One hand slithered up her sides, making her wriggle—whether into his touch or away from the tickling feeling, she didn't know. House's hand ventured upwards until it settled on her cheek, his fingers just caressing her cheek as he looked down at her.

He wasn't in a hurry. They had time. She had no seminar to attend tomorrow, neither did he. Well, he _did _have one, but he managed to get permission from Blair not to go in exchange of voluntary clinic duty. And that was saying something. A week of voluntary clinic duty for one day. But he was more than willing. One week wasn't anything compared to a whole day spent with one Lisa Cuddy tomorrow.

He brushed a few curls away from her face and he crookedly smiled as her brows furrowed before slowly opening a moment later. Their eyes connected and Cuddy couldn't help but grin back, feeling herself coloring.

"What?" she asked quietly when he continued looking at her, somewhat taking in every pixel of her face while he continued to caress her cheek lovingly.

House shook his head then dived down and captured her lips again, kissing her tenderly, telling her what emotions he couldn't verbally speak, drowning in her taste.

Cuddy automatically pulled his head down further, their faces as close to one another as virtually possible. Cuddy deepened the kiss and she started to kiss him more intensely, telling him that she wanted more.

Reaching down, House fondled Cuddy's breast, making her break away from the kiss, gasping at the pleasure his simple action brought her then quickly fused her lips to his again, slipping her tongue inside his warm mouth, his tongue eagerly mingling with hers.

She instinctively bucked her pelvis upwards when he titillated the taut peak that was her nipple, making House groan at the clothed contact. House realized that his jeans were getting too tight up front but Cuddy seemed to have thought it as well since she reached down towards his button, undid it, and unzipped his fly as well. Breathing heavily against her ear, Cuddy mewled in delight while House was thankful for the lack of restriction from Cuddy unfastening his jeans.

Reluctantly, House pulled away from her so he could remove his articles of clothing and Cuddy looked at him, watching as he undressed in front of her, her hunger for him rising when she saw his shaft springing forth proudly. She was surprised his Vicodin abuse hadn't had a bad effect on him and exercise certainly did him good. His biceps were delicious, his chest as broad as ever, his form regal in all angles. She then saw his scar and looked up at him in awe.

Despite everything, he pulled out of his dark hole, seemingly, and came out a better person. She knew he was a good person, but seeing him finally overcoming his weaknesses step by step was very stirring. She was so proud and happy for him.

"Like what you see?" House asked her in his old way, lecherously grinning at her.

Cuddy smiled seductively and replied, "I don't know." House laughed lowly and Cuddy had to stop herself from moaning out loud at the sexiness in his voice.

House laid a knee on the bed, carefully trailing his hands from her feet up her legs, her thighs, and settling on her hips. He looked at her in question and she immediately answered his unneeded question, saying, "Undress me."

House did as asked, his manhood growing harder when he pulled her jeans off her, revealing her supple, toned legs. He haphazardly discarded her article of clothing and gazed down at her in just her lacy thong, looking up at him with those eyes.

Cuddy had to sit up in bed and pull him down on top of her for him to start moving again. They frantically kissed, open-mouthed while their hands roamed each other's body in sensual adventure.

Cuddy wrapped her legs around his waist and she continued to trail her hands and scrape her nails against House's now toned abdomen, and she dragged them back to his back, making him grunt his approval at what she was doing.

Gasping when he slid a hand down to her abdomen, Cuddy couldn't help the fire House ignited in her when he applied little force there before sliding his hand down to cup her sex, thereon rubbing his hands against her pelvis, causing her to writhe into his hand in great pleasure, moaning every time he grazed her pleasure pearl. He braced himself on one arm, leveled high above her.

"House!" Cuddy gasped breathlessly when he spread her core wide, plunging a finger into her, testing her wetness after running his fingers across her fiery slit.

"Cuddy…" House moaned then hissed when she chose to return the favor by anchoring herself with an arm wrapping around his back through under his arm then reaching forward and clasping his swollen length in her heated hand, stroking him. House took deep breaths when he felt himself bucking against her hand the way she was bucking up at his.

He dipped his head low and captured a taut nipple and nibbled on it, making her throw her head back in satisfaction when he suckled her nipple and started pumping his finger in and out of her, adding another digit soon after.

Releasing her hold on him, Cuddy wrapped her other arm tightly around him while she moaned loudly at his ministrations. She slid one leg down his ass and dragged the sole of her feet up and down the span of his muscled leg until the tips of her toes reached the back of his sole, setting off pleasure sparks up and down his spine, making her gasp in return when he bucked forward and she felt his heat pushing forth the inside of her thigh.

"I need you… now…" Cuddy said, her statement trailing off with a gasp as her pleasure slowly reached the edge when House shifted to her other nipple, not wanting it left out while his thumb teasingly rubbing her clit.

House purred like a proud lion at her surrendering herself to him body and soul and he let go of her turgid tit a while later. She almost came when he just started to rub her clit vigorously but stopped and pulled his fingers out from her core, eliciting a cry of frustration from her that sent more blood down his groin.

With a hand, House gently laid her down on the bed, adoring her look of pure dissatisfaction at being deprived release. He hadn't meant to but he wanted her to come ceremoniously, and not with his hands. At least not tonight.

Running his hand through her brows, he wiped away the sweat that had formed there, ignoring those of his own and then kissed her forehead and then her closed eyes which were focusing on breathing.

"I apologize," he whispered against her ear, nibbling her lobe before moving to her nose again, kissing then nipping her there. Cuddy opened her eyes and waited for him to continue. In a short while he did, saying, "I want to make love to you," in a valiant whisper.

"You already are." Cuddy informed him. She never felt more alive with anyone she's been with before. House made her feel that. He made her feel alive. He makes her burst into fiery flames of passion, leaving her high, and her spirit roaring free.

House gave her a peck on the lips and started venturing lower but Cuddy stopped him with her hands, grasping both sides of his head. He looked up at her with confused eyes and she just shook her head in negation.

"I'm ready. And I want your lips," she whispered pulling his head towards her, House complying with what she wanted because his main goal was to please her. His pleasure was second in line. Hers was most important.

"Now, I need you to make love to me, inside me, like Iwant you to. The way _you_ want to," she whispered breathlessly a fraction from his lips like a prayer, their foreheads resting against each other.

House nodded his head in compliance, sliding his hand from her side, down to her hips, taking hold of the thin material of her thong and pulling it down, with her helping him with the other side. She reluctantly unwrapped her legs from around him and House pulled the flimsy undergarment from her.

Cuddy gasped at the cold air that hit her scorching heat the moment she spread her legs in front of him when he laid her legs back down onto the bed. House could feel himself throbbing in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in her delicate moist folds like he wanted to. Like _she _wanted him to.

The urge to taste her was great but she was ready for him. He decided to push tasting her juices the next time. There will be many more chances to come.

Repositioning himself between her thighs again he slid his hands from her hips up either leg, sensually massaging her thighs, making her crave him more. He then glided his roaming hands down her rotund bottom, squeezing her there, making her moan, before properly adjusting himself for what was to come.

Their blue eyes connected and Cuddy sprawled herself on the bed, gripping his biceps firmly as she readied herself for him. With one hand slithering to the small of her back, House's other hand gripped himself, stroking his shaft a few more times and then carefully, slowly, poked inside her, making her let out a loud gust of wind from the pleasure and initial penetration. Her hands on him faltered, and then tightened when he pushed himself inside her.

Her walls instantly fit him like a second skin, and she shut her eyes, mouth hanging open. He wouldn't fit her, she thought grimly. She bit her lip in doubt, her nails slowly digging into his flesh when he pushed in some more and then stopped. Cuddy gasped, her breath laborious, her chest heaving. He was pulsing inside her, all male, all warm, and she didn't know whether she was panting from the pleasure or from the tightness and slight pain- maybe all of the above.

House lowered himself, bracing himself on just his elbow, his weight settling on top of her in a comfortable way that wasn't giving her conflict. But his sudden movement caused him to push into her more, making her whimper.

House furrowed his brows. Was it so long a time since she's been penetrated? Maybe yes. But he knew she could take him. She did back in med school. Maybe she was just too tensed. She didn't have to be, House thought. He would never hurt her. At least not intentionally. And not intentionally during lovemaking.

"You okay?" he asked her, caressing her cheek. Cuddy opened her eyes and looked at him embarrassedly then swung her head aside.

"Hey… I'm here," House calmed her, "I won't hurt you." After saying that he started to slowly pull out of her but Cuddy instantly locked her legs around him tighter and shook her head.

"No…" she whispered in a gasp. "I _need _you. Just… let's just take it slowly." She told him. She wanted this to happen now.

"Yes, mistress," House said, trying to calm her down.

He then settled on the task, lifting himself a little more up from his elbows and then moving his palm flat against the small of her back like earlier. He then ever so slowly, started to give little movements within her. His right hand ran from her side to cup her breast, massaging it and running his thumb against her nipple, making Cuddy moan in bliss.

"Oh God," she whispered while he continued to make love to her with his whole body; his mind, his hands, his mouth, his member, every part of him. Cuddy scraped his back with her nails, urging him on when she felt herself get even more lubricated and relaxing.

House was able to push more than half of himself into her finally and he was still taking his time to push more of himself into her, not shoving, just smoothly pushing.

"House…" Cuddy breathed out when he hit a spot. He groaned when he felt her walls contracting around him, stretching her little by little, welcoming him finally.

Alas, moments later he was fully sheathed within her. And he gave her a moment to adjust, kissing her on the lips, rendering her even more breathless. Cuddy bucked up against him when she was more than ready for more and House was a willing partner.

He started pulling in and out of her in a steady pace, her egging him on with the smallest yet biggest of gestures; clamping down on him teasingly, scraping his back, kissing him here and there, tightening her legs around him and pushing his ass more into her.

"Faster," Cuddy whispered and House complied. He started moving faster, kissing her neck and sucking on it while his hips rolled over and over against her, his pelvis thumping against her, the sound of their skin smacking against each others.

"God, House, right there!" Cuddy suddenly tightened her grip on his, anchoring herself via his neck with her arms, biting on his shoulder, egging him on as the pleasure assailed their minds and their bodies.

She could feel him inside her, going in and out, the friction deliriously heaven to her walls and her nerves. She can't have enough and she needed more. She started meeting his thrusts more and House knew she wanted it harder so he gave her what she wanted.

House slid his hand from the small of her back to her derriere and pulled her more towards him, making him slide balls deep into her, Cuddy crying out in ecstasy.

"Was this how you wanted it?" he asked in a hushed town into her ear, licking her lobe, making her whimper in desire.

Cuddy nodded, drowned in a sea of emotions and passion. "Yes!" she breathlessly said, making House's heart swell in the confirmation that he was indeed, giving her the pleasure she wanted.

His undulating patterns were slowly sending her to nirvana and she wouldn't want it any other way. She bucked against him frantically now, needing release but at the same time, wanted to go over the edge with him. Each thrust seemingly aimed to stimulate her even more. His thrusts were the most wonderful sensations she ever felt whenever he went in and slid out of her molten core.

Their passion heightened, their hearts pounded in their cavities, their climax calling them, bidding them to let go. Frantic now, they staked their claim on each other with insurmountable desire, lust, love and passion.

They claimed each other with kisses, thrusts, nips, licks, sucks, and every imaginable action that brought pleasurable sensations like the spidery introduction of blood into water; a somewhat explosion and then dissipating into nothingness.

That's what exactly happened.

Cuddy, not being able to take the pressure anymore, released a cry of pure elation as she climaxed and fell off the edge and writhed under House in the wake of her orgasm. House, feeling her hot, velvet walls clamping mercilessly down on him, released a strangled animalistic groan into her shoulder, exploding into his orgasm and releasing his warm semen inside of her, causing her to gasp and lose herself in every pleasure invading her system. House continued to thrust a few more times until he finally succumbed to the strength of his climax and fell on top of her, braced on his elbows, as to not crush her, panting hard along with her. He raised his head, leaning on her forehead while they regained their breaths.

Moments later his eyes went open when he felt her caressing his cheek, her breathing back to a steady pace. She was looking at him lovingly like no one except his mother ever did before. He kissed her on the tip of her nose, causing her to chuckle like he never heard her do so before. He inwardly smirked at that but it was cute, he reluctantly admitted to himself.

"Satiated, mistress?" House asked her, nuzzling her neck with lazy, sloppy kisses.

Cuddy tilted her head up towards the ceiling while her fingers threaded through his damp, messy hair. She smiled; content, satiated, loved. "Yes," she answered him serenely.

"Hmm… good." House murmured with a smile as he gave the hollow between her collar bone a small kiss before trailing his lips up her throat, kissing her chin, and finally recapturing her lips.

They pulled out for air and House was about to pull out of her when Cuddy just locked her legs around him. "Not yet," she whispered, still reveling in the feel of him inside her.

"I knew you'd love Little Greg," House teased sexily, giving her a peck on the lips. Deep inside, he was proud that he went through with therapy and totally quit Vicodin. If he were his old, miserable – not that he still partly was—self, he would have collapsed by now from the stress on his leg. Hell, he doubt he would have sobered enough to be with her if he still, wholly, were his old self.

Cuddy rolled her eyes customarily at his lecherous remark but she chuckled when a thought entered her mind. "What?" House asked her curiously, glancing up at her. "We didn't use a condom, I'm not on the pills." She informed him.

Silence engulfed the room for a while and Cuddy knew seriousness was hovering over them like a cloud that moment. Did she say anything wrong? Cuddy furrowed her brow in deliberation.

However, she didn't quite expect House to cup her jaw and look her straight in the eye, his cerulean orbs swirling with honesty, and she was sure hers were swimming in confusion albeit secured at the way he gently forced her to look him in the eyes.

Brushing his thumb across her chin while she waited for him to talk, House glanced down at where his thumb was before trailing his eyes up her swollen, luscious lips, her nose, and back to her eyes which were glowing.

He took a deep breath, and Cuddy anticipated his words. His words however, ones she never expected at _that_ moment. Her heart swelled at the real meaning behind them and gazed at his blue, honest, calm oceans when she heard those words. Probably the sweetest, truest, and most endearing words this remarkable man has ever told her besides 'I love you'. She smiled ethereally up at him when he spoke; her eyes misting up.

"I want you to be happy, remember?"

**_

* * *

_A/N:** _Longest smutty chapter I have ever written, I think... _

_**Please leave some love and sugar… NO wet undies please… Well, unless they're designer brands. XD J/k!**_

_**No, seriously, please a review/comment and let me know what you think… **_

_**Your reviews really make me write better…**_

**_They also brighten up my day! :D_**


	22. How it Should Be

**A/N: **_Thank you for the reviews last chapter!!! :D See how happy they make me and my Absence muse? :D Well, if you don't, you'll see in this chap. :) I'm sure everyone would LOVE an IC/OOC House AND Cuddy in fics at these times of Huddy famine and show-suckiness. _

_**And my permanent sched for Summer updates: **__Updates: M,T, Th, F, S… None on Wednesdays and Sundays. ~Please do take into consideration that there will be times I may update late… I am taking summer classes and they're SO not easy… lol._

_For all the patience you've already given, I humbly thank everyone for understanding and staying with me and the story :D _

**SMUT WARNING:: Third part until the end… **

**Enjoy yet another Huddylicious chapter!**

* * *

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

**_CHAPTER 21: HOW IT SHOULD BE_**

.

_**January 26, 5 am**_

_"I want you to be happy, remember?"_

House angled his head to peer at the cherub sleeping soundly next to him. Cuddy's back was pressed against his chest, her upper half uncovered by the duvet wrapped around them. Raising himself on one elbow, House glanced down at her in a better angle.

Her eyes were closed, her lashes long and fluttering in deep REM, her nose slender, her lips pouted beautifully even in sleep; She was divine. He lightly trailed his fingers along the smooth skin of her arm, making sure he didn't wake her. Last night was… mind blowing and hot, in his male mind's opinion. But truthfully, in his own romantic's opinion,—not that that first notion wasn't true-- it was incredible and amazing.

Keeping his eyes glued to her face, he continued caressing her lightly as if he wasn't even doing so. Indeed, the siren next to him deserved to be happy. And despite his insecurities about domesticity, he was willing to give her the happiness she deserved.

He was pulled out of his reverie when Cuddy shifted and turned towards him, probably seeking his warmth. He adjusted the duvet around her and pulled her into his chest. House found himself smiling contentedly when she rubbed her face along his torso as if finding the best spot. He kissed her on the crown of her head, taking in the scent of her hair and keeping it in his memories of her.

Being with her like this, without the employees from Plainsboro judging them, was how things were supposed to be. But once the time came and he returned to the arms of PPTH, he was sure all will be the same before he left but his new relationship with Cuddy that he'd fight tooth and nail to keep.

But still, the thought of how many fun things and ways to explore their relationship—professional and personal—in the hospital was quite interesting… and tempting. And he was already sure as hell not going to be able to help himself from still challenging her authority at times because that's how they worked. It was, well, for the two of them, a stress reliever.

It was a symbiosis, really, that most people at the hospital didn't understand in their historical relationship as friends. Just because their relationship status went up a notch didn't mean they had to be different people.

After moments of just watching her and thinking, House's eyes fluttered shut as he let himself sleep again peacefully beside Cuddy.

_**

* * *

**_

**_8:30 am_**

Cuddy slowly opened her eyes to the sunshine that warmed up her face. Slowly shifting away from it she found out that she could only reach so far because House's arm was wrapped around her back to her exposed midsection while her face was pressed into his muscular torso.

She lazily smiled, slowly arising from the clouds of sleep surrounding her and her eyes. She laid there, pressed up against him, her eyes squinted from the rays of the sun that had entered House's room uninvited.

Ever so gently and carefully, she unwrapped herself reluctantly from his embrace and slid a little more upwards in the bed, the blanket wrapped around her front. She set the pillow underneath her for leverage so she could gaze down at his peaceful sleeping form.

She found his slightly ajar mouth enticing… and cute. She smiled when she realized his forehead wasn't scrunched up in sleep, instead it was most peaceful in that way. She ran her hand lightly along her jaw, gazing at him endearingly, storing into memory his regal face.

One thing she instantly missed though, was his entrancing baby blue eyes; the windows to House's soul.

Closing her own sapphires, she allowed herself to just feel as she dipped her head and placed a soft kiss to his lips before smiling when his face momentarily scrunched up in disturbance and relaxed again. She did it again and he remained asleep.

She ran her fingers through his hair, loving the feel of them in her hands. She caressed his temple and slid her hand down to his jaw.

This was the sight she wanted to wake up to from now on. Even if she knew they'd be separated for months after this seminar, she also knew they'd be together once he was done with the contract. She would wait for that day, but for now, she'll revel in anticipation of doing this for a few more mornings.

_This is how it should be, _Cuddy thought with a loving smile, kissing House in the cheek. God, she loved this man.

Reluctantly, Cuddy got out of bed as carefully as she could so she wouldn't wake him. She adjusted the duvet covering him before she took her thong, slipped it on and grabbed his shirt and wore it as she made her way to the window. She pulled the cord to the curtain, making it close and cover the window to stop the sun's rays from coming into the room.

She then face the bed, looking at him still asleep. From him, she trailed her eyes to the floor, chuckling when she saw that it was somewhat messy. Cuddy quietly folded their clothes and placed them atop the glass desk in the room.

Cuddy then went inside the bathroom and did her business. She washed her face and was able to find a toothbrush. She afterwards exited the bathroom and made her way to the kitchen to make some coffee. While waiting for the machine to get done, a thought entered her mind and she smiled.

Time to return the favor.

She checked his kitchen cabinets and fridge for anything she could whip up. Moments later she decided to stick with a Reuben sandwich and pancakes for House and some pancakes and a salad for her. She was surprised House even had all necessary ingredients in his kitchen! She smiled. He was really taking care of himself more, now and that the food in the fridge just wasn't because she was there.

She hoped he didn't wake up and tease her about actually even knowing how to cook while she was prepping everything she needed.

Luckily after having done with everything and having the kitchen smell fantastic with her addition of bacon and eggs for her black hole-of-a… lover. That sounded so foreign on her tongue… err, mind. Still, she wasn't able to help the slight semblance of a giggle to erupt from her luscious lips at the thought.

After clearing out the kitchen, she washed her hands and afterwards set the table. Satisfied with her set up, she took a deep breath and made her way back to the bedroom to check if House was still asleep.

Entering the room, she found him on his stomach, facing the door, mouth even more ajar than earlier. She bit her lip to fight the chuckle about to fall from her lips and walked to the bed.

She hesitated at first but got over the slight nervousness she felt as she settled next to him and laid her head on the same pillow his was laying on.

When after about ten minutes he didn't wake up, she got ready to hop off the bed but as she started to get upright, she was pulled down next to him abruptly, making her let out a small shout of surprise.

"Morning," House rasped huskily, still hazy from sleep as he pulled her into him, nuzzling her neck lazily all the while.

Cuddy fought off the moan wanting to escape her mouth when he started kissing her neck. He shocked her! She slapped him in the chest but her action lacked determination to play pissed. Instead she opted to glare at him.

"What?"

"That hurt," Cuddy told him matter-of-factly and showed him the wrist he used to pull her down the bed which turned a light shade of pink.

Frowning, House took her hand and looked at her wrist. Maybe he did it too forcefully, he thought as he ran his fingers gently along the pink marks. Sweetly, and taking Cuddy by surprise, he pressed his lips and trailed them along the span of the marks and rubbed the back of her hand as he met her eyes. He didn't mean to do it so roughly.

"You didn't mean it, House. It's okay," she cut his impending apology off gently when she saw it coming from how his eyes met hers. His romanticism and sweetness almost immediately took her mind from the pain.

Leaning forward, Cuddy assured him with a soft kiss on the lips. She was about to pull away when House ran a palm along her neck and carefully pulled her more towards him as their lips meshed. But eventually, Cuddy pulled away and looked at him partly disgustedly.

"Brush your teeth before you kiss me… Morning breath is NOT sexy," she told him with a smirk which House returned at once.

Giving him one last quick peck on the lips, Cuddy climbed off the bed and was about to exit the room when she spun on one heel and told him, "I made breakfast." She smiled at him and exited the room, unmindful yet somewhat expecting him to be staring at her ass… he always did that. Not to mention it was the morning.

* * *

Minutes later House emerged from the bedroom in plaid pajama pants and a loose tee. He smirked at Cuddy who was leaning back from the island counter of the kitchen smirking at him with her arms crossed in front of her.

House walked towards her and quietly pried her arms from her chest and he took the hand he gripped too tightly earlier, making sure he didn't bruise her.

"It's fine, House, really," Cuddy softly assured him, gently pulling her hand from his grip as much as she enjoyed his gentle touch that made her tingle.

"Okay." House acquiesced. Her wrist didn't have any bruises, thankfully.

Rolling her eyes, Cuddy gripped him by the sides of his neck and pulled his head down for a kiss to assure him she was okay.

When their lips met, Cuddy kissed him tenderly for awhile before she opened her mouth to him and their kiss deepened as House slipped his tongue to mate with hers. Breakfast momentarily forgotten, House hoisted her onto the counter and she ran her hands down to his shoulders, rubbing them.

Eventually, one hand slid up to his nape, pulling his head even closer. Cuddy moaned into his mouth as they breathed each other's minty breath in. Cuddy could taste the mint in his mouth while they continued to kiss fervently.

Sighing as House dove into her neck, trailing hot kisses along it Cuddy spoke, "Food will get cold."

"Oven," House pointed and Cuddy acquiesced almost immediately, running her fingers through House's short hair, scraping his scalp with her nails from time to time, sending blood flooding into his nether areas.

House ran his hand along her milky thighs and upwards, drumming his fingers on her hipbones and afterwards taking hold of the hem of her— his—tee and pulling it upwards and off her, revealing all of her to him, sans the most intimate part of her.

House opened his eyes and met hers. She smiled at him and gave him a quick peck to the lips. House nipped his way down Cuddy's neck, lowering his head to take a nipple into his mouth and Cuddy cried from the sensations House's mouth gave her. She gripped the back of his neck, encouraging him to continue while wrapping her legs around his waist and shoving his pants down his legs with her feet.

Cuddy bit back a cry when House bit down on her nipple before releasing it and moving his mouth to the other one while his left hand snaked up her toned abdomen and landed on her bosom, massaging it torturously slowly and running his thumb on the turgid peak.

Without even so much as a warning, House lifted her from the counter and carried her to the living room, sitting himself atop the sofa so she straddled him. She could feel his erection pressing on her thigh and she moaned into House's mouth which were once again fused into hers. She started rocking back and forth above him to get him to stand even further and for herself to get even more lubricated than she already was, her hands on his shoulders for leverage.

House ran his hands along her sides, feeling her soft skin. Cuddy leant forward and recaptured House's lips, kissing him open mouthed as her desire for him heightened and her breathing got labored just as how his was starting to get.

Pausing for a while Cuddy stood up and removed her panties and settled herself on House's lap again, her eyes weighty with lust as she seductively slid her hands from his sides up to his chest, afterwards sliding her hands, her nails scraping his skin, from his neck down to his chest, making House groan in want of her, his grip on her hips tightening while she continued to swivel her hips on top of him.

Waiting no longer, Cuddy finally held him, warm and hard, stroking him a few times before guiding him inside her, carefully bobbing on his member a couple times to make sure what happened last night won't happen again. She finally took him all the way and he was sheathed inside her, both of them gasping at the intense sensation of flesh on flesh.

Cuddy took a deep breath before she started moving, experimenting, looking for the best angle. She slowly gyrated on top of him, her walls fitting him like a glove. She breathed out as she felt his head scraping her insides amazingly and she held on to his shoulders and dropped her head to kiss him.

House started thrusting up, eliciting whimpers and moans from Cuddy as his long shaft rubbed every crevice of her canal. She buried her face on his neck, kissing him there, marking him as well, making him grunt and then his when she licked the spot she marked him in.

House ran his hands along her back and settled them on her on each cheek of her derriere guiding her gyrating hips as he bucked up inside her. The heat was intensifying and for some reason unbeknownst to him he wanted her on her back. He slid one hand on her back and as gently yet swiftly as he could, he moved her so that she was pinned under his weight, making Cuddy cry out from the pleasure the sudden move brought to her.

She panted as House resettled himself in front of her, between her thighs, and inside her. She locked her legs around his waist while he fondled her thighs as he kissed her neck and the valley between her breasts.

Cuddy wrapped her arms around his neck as she gasped when he started moving again, finding the right pace. Soon enough, House started driving in and out of her deeper, panting against her neck, kissing and nibbling on her skin.

Minutes later, Cuddy was no longer able to hold on any longer. The pleasure of him driving in and out of her, the divine friction his thrusts have, and was continuing to cause her became more than she could bear. House's force of plowing into her increased and he claimed her lips, kissing her yet again while she scraped her nails along the span of his back, spurring him on. They were teetering on the edge of orgasm when all of a sudden, the bell to House's unit rang and the sound echoed inside the unit.

"Ignore it," Cuddy panted, shutting up House's imminent reply with her mouth.

House continued his recent actions and slid his hand down to her bottom, forcing her pelvis deeper into his, the sound of their flesh smacking against each other and then the moment was ruined yet again, leaving the two of them frustrated and panting.

A knock.

"Don't get it." Cuddy said, wanting to get off just as much as House did. They were left a panting mess of sweaty bodies meshed together. House's head now lay on the crook of her neck.

A doorbell.

"I think…" House breathed out. Reaching the peak like this wouldn't be satisfying and he didn't want both of them to be left frustrated. Cuddy shook her head and locked her legs around him tighter."Don't."

A shout and urgent knocks. "House!"

Wilson.

Cuddy slumped her head back on the throw pillow on the couch upon hearing the oncologist's voice, exasperated and frustrated, still panting. House's eyes darkened in pure annoyance at the disturbance. This wasn't how their morning was supposed to go!

"Fuck you, Wilson!" House roared in irritation, head towards the door, leaving Cuddy laughing at him from underneath him.

God bless Wilson's balls.

**_

* * *

_****A/N: **_Hope you liked it! :D _

_**Please leave some love, sugar, and/or frustration and let me know what you think!**_

_**::::::I NEED READERS' OPINION!!!::::::**_

_I was wondering if you guys wanted me to __**(a.) **__quickly wrap up the seminar in, let's say, two chapters so we could move forward or __**(b.)**__ would you want me to just go on day by day until the seminar's over??? Do let me know your takes on this! :D _


	23. Love Games

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Places mentioned, including the recreational center isn't mine either.**_

**A/N:**_ Hopefully, despite the post-finale high and my tardy record these days with regards to updating, you guys are still here and interested in my other stories! Thanks for the patience!_

_Oh and, by the way… I'm absolutely getting confused by what year it already is in this fic so let's just assume it's already 2008._

_I won't probably be writing Wilson and Blair's date but address some things about it when I write some Wilson-alone scenes. ;) Do let me know if you guys are interested in that going somewhere or staying as it is. :D_

**__****This is yet another Huddy-filled chapter! Do enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 22: LOVE GAMES**_

.

_Cuddy wrapped her arms around his neck as she gasped when he started moving again, finding the right pace. Soon enough, House started driving in and out of her deeper, panting against her neck, kissing and nibbling on her skin._

_Minutes later, Cuddy was no longer able to hold on any longer. The pleasure of him driving in and out of her, the divine friction his thrusts have, and was continuing to cause her became more than she could bear. House's force of plowing into her increased and he claimed her lips, kissing her yet again while she scraped her nails along the span of his back, spurring him on. They were teetering on the edge of orgasm when all of a sudden, the bell to House's unit rang and the sound echoed inside the unit._

_"Ignore it," Cuddy panted, shutting up House's imminent reply with her mouth._

_House continued his recent actions and slid his hand down to her bottom, forcing her pelvis deeper into his, the sound of their flesh smacking against each other and then the moment was ruined yet again, leaving the two of them frustrated and panting._

_A knock._

_"Don't get it." Cuddy said, wanting to get off just as much as House did. They were left a panting mess of sweaty bodies meshed together. House's head now lay on the crook of her neck._

_A doorbell._

_"I think…" House breathed out. Reaching the peak like this wouldn't be satisfying and he didn't want both of them to be left frustrated. Cuddy shook her head and locked her legs around him tighter."Don't."_

_A shout and urgent knocks. "House!"_

_Wilson._

_Cuddy slumped her head back on the throw pillow on the couch upon hearing the oncologist's voice, exasperated and frustrated, still panting. House's eyes darkened in pure annoyance at the disturbance. This wasn't how their morning was supposed to go!_

_"Fuck you, Wilson!" House roared in irritation, head towards the door, leaving Cuddy laughing at him from underneath him._

_God bless Wilson's balls._

"It's not funny…" House breathed into her shoulder, shaking his head. He was still trying to get his breathing back to normal and he noticed that she was doing the same.

"Now get off of me. I have to get dressed before Wilson barges in and sees me naked." Cuddy whispered before saucily adding, "I know you don't like to share." House teasingly ran his lips up her throat and settled them on her jaw as he mischievously murmured, "I've got you covered…" as if the word 'covered' wasn't just so wrong in the situation-position- they were in.

Indeed, he absolutely had her covered… in every sense of the statement, Cuddy thought.

Another set of knocks, lighter this time, were heard from the door and another ring of the bell. Maybe Wilson had given up shouting after having realized that it was a very quiet floor. "You think he'll leave if we stay quiet?" House childishly asked her in a whisper after he had calmed his breathing.

"I doubt that. He would have if you hadn't fucked him, earlier."

House grimaced at that, pulled out of her and helped her sit up. "That's a disturbing visual," he commented disdainfully in revulsion of the mental image.

Cuddy chuckled in a low voice grabbing a shirt and donning it, as well as getting her other belongings which was scattered in the living room. "I'll be in your room," she whispered in his ear, patting his cheek before proceeding to his bedroom. House got dressed, clearing his living room for a while before walking to his front door, opening it to a fresh looking Wilson.

"What do you want? How did you get my address? And who brought you here?" House asked Wilson in rapid succession.

Arching a brow, unfazed by his best friend Wilson asked him, "I must have missed the memo. Is this the new 'good morning?'" House rolled his eyes and straightforwardly asked Wilson, "Needed anything?"

"Mind if I come in?" House opened the door wider for Wilson to enter. Behind him, House smirked at how slow Wilson was taking to move as his friend took in the pad. "Nice place."

"That's why I rented it."

"Came here by myself. Got your address from Lexi," Wilson smirked. Getting to the point- well, one of the reasons- of his visit, he asked, "Have you heard from Cuddy? She's not answering my calls or returning my messages. She wasn't in her room either when I checked."

"Checked?"

"Knocked and called and waited, checked." Wilson clarified with a roll of his eyes at House's obvious suspicion.

"Cuddy's a big girl, she can take care of herself, Jimmy boy!" House loudly said, leaning back on the kitchen island, getting over the curiosity of the "checked" statement.

"Coffee?" House asked. Wilson's eyebrows shot upwards at the offer. Smirking, House told him, "I was asking. If you want coffee, get your own. Help yourself, you have hands." Chuckling as he shook his head, Wilson stood up and made his way to the kitchen, getting himself a mug.

"But seriously, have you seen her?" Wilson asked as he poured himself a mug of invigorating coffee. "She's in my bedroom," House bluntly answered, wanting to gauge Wilson's reaction. Wilson just scoffed before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Good morning, Wilson!" Cuddy greeted, exiting House's bedroom a while later, fully clothed and looking fresh. House narrowed his eyes at her but said nothing, only allowing the sliver of a smile to pass his features.

Wilson almost choked on his coffee as he was about to take another sip. "Morning… Cuddy?" Wilson's eyes instantly narrowed at House and it hit him. His shocked expression turning into a goofy grin, obviously elated at the thought. "Continue that statement and you'll be on your way out of my unit," House warned, remembering what had had to be postponed, literally. Cuddy innocently smiled at Wilson as she took a glass from House's cupboard and poured water into it, sidling up to her man afterwards.

"What brings you here?" House asked not so courteously. Cuddy, despite her earlier frustration, shot House a reproving look.

"I have a date with Lexi tomorrow night. I was wondering if you had any pointers…" Wilson trailed off, a little embarrassed at how teen-y it sounded.

House guffawed at Wilson's revelation and just chuckled at his request for information. Cuddy smiled a little, "That's nice." She paused then cautiously asked, "But don't you think trying for a relationship, especially one that would probably end up as a long-distance one, would be a little hard on both of you?"

"Don't worry, Wilson's eyes only stray to other women when he finally marries the woman and not while they're dating," House quipped with a smirk, receiving a smack on the arm from Cuddy. House smirked down at her, rubbing the spot she slapped.

"You like her that much to take the risk?" Cuddy asked concernedly, garnering an eye roll from House. Wilson slightly colored but he nodded, giving Cuddy a crooked smile. "Yeah."

"Then go have fun tomorrow night and find out if she really could make you happy and vice versa," Cuddy advised with a sincere smile.

"Thanks, Cuddy," Wilson said with the same grin as he took a deep breath. "She's really nice once you get to know her, even if a little."

"What am I? Chopped liver?" House butted in, smirking.

"You're an ass," Cuddy replied, putting her glass of water down on the island behind her.

"What's new?" House answered, smirk still intact.

"Continue that and it'll stick," Cuddy chastised.

Wilson rolled his eyes at their bickering. "It already has and you know it, Cuddy."

"Thanks for standing up for me, Jimmy boy!" House said, impressed a bit. "I wasn't and you're an ass." "Again, what's new?"

"Oh could we just stop it? I refuse to act an age decades younger than mine." Cuddy interrupted, annoyed even at herself for engaging in such childish bickering.

"Have you had breakfast?" Cuddy considerately asked Wilson. "I was planning on getting some today before the lecture. And I have to go," Wilson apologetically said, glancing down at his watch to check the time.

"You could have breakfast with us—" "Hey! You made it for _me_!" House cut her off whiningly, childishly pouting at her, possessive and sentimental over what she had prepared for him. It _was _the first time she made something for him.

Cuddy smiled a little at House's childish selfishness. It was adorable that he went maudlin over a Reuben, some pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Childish though, nonetheless. "I could make you a new batch," Cuddy assured him, patting his forearm.

"I'll have to leave early. Still have some things to tend to. Don't worry about me," Wilson reassured Cuddy and wanting to chuckle at House's antics. He really had some stuff to do and he had to prepare for his date with Lexi tomorrow night.

"So you banged on my door just to ask about the Blair-witch?" House asked, smirking yet internally finding it interesting but not so surprising that Wilson had eyes for his boss. Wilson shyly nodded, hoping House would at least give him a tip or whatever.

"Interesting…" Was his best friend's reply to his nod. "I really have to go," Wilson excused himself after rolling his eyes at House's adjective.

"Are you sure?" Cuddy asked again, somewhat wanting to make sure that Wilson wasn't offended by House's remarks. Wilson nodded with a reassuring smile, walking towards the door. Cuddy returned the smile, bidding him good day and goodbye before setting on her task of heating her and House's breakfast. House followed Wilson to the door.

"I'm glad you two are getting along," Wilson sincerely told him in confidence, smiling at House genuinely. "Keep it up and _I'll_ probably be _your_ best man soon," he jibed with a chuckle.

House, despite himself, chuckled at that. "Maybe," he answered half-seriously. It wasn't a long-shot. The possibility of him marrying Cuddy in the near—or far—future was high. No, he _won't _screw this up. "Yeah, maybe."

Wilson smiled widely at the possibility. "Good luck to the both of you. I'll be going, then, I'll see you on Friday, maybe? You'll be attending my speech, right?"

"I've read it; why attend?" House teased, his face serious. Wilson knew he would go so he just gave a low chuckle. "Bye, House," he said but before he had taken three steps out the door to House's condo unit, House called out to him and he looked back at his healthy-looking best friend.

"She's sickly in love with Grand Prix and white roses," House informed his best friend. "How'd you know?" Wilson asked, a brow arched in suspicion. There's been more than a thousand times that his best friend had pulled one over on him. Who knew if those two beautiful roses were actually ones that his date was allergic to. He had to be sure if he really wanted to see where things with Blair would go. "I may have gotten better but I still haven't changed. Spied on her, obviously. Had to get all the juicy gossip. Although it was sort of hard since Blair is worse than Cuddy," House said, the last sentence about Blair and Cuddy he purposely said a little louder.

"I heard that!" they heard Cuddy shout from the kitchen. It could've been a compliment but still…

"I know!" House replied in an annoying sing song voice.

"She's more into vegetables than meat." House added.

"That all?"

"I have more but you'll be late for your so-called breakfast. You're just meeting Blair for breakfast," Wilson's jaw dropped a little at that. "How did you know?" House shrugged. "She told me."

"Does she tell you everything?" Wilson inquired, suddenly afraid that all information he'd give Lexi would be given to House as well. "No. But things about you, yes, probably most of it since, again, like Cuddy, she's not a fan of friendship inside the hospital. And she has little time in her hands. Administrator stuff, you know, pleasing donors with lap dances…"

"Ha ha," Wilson dryly replied. "Thanks for the tips," he sincerely thanked House who nodded in acknowledgement. House was about to close the door but Wilson called to him a few feet away from his doorstep. "What?" he asked with a smirk. "Sorry I bothered your… session." Wilson said, his brows furrowing in mock disgust before he turned and walked towards the elevators with a grin anyone would have wanted to smack off. And he knew House was burning a hole in the back of his head with his parting… apology.

Gathering himself House closed the door when Wilson was out of sight. He went back to the kitchen and saw Cuddy putting down the last plate from the oven onto the table. "You could've at least persuaded him to eat breakfast with us. I could've made a new batch for him and you keep yours," Cuddy said, not looking much up at him, sort of disappointed. Sort of. She knew she'll get over it almost immediately. She just had to voice that out.

Oh, if she only knew that Wilson knew what they were doing behind closed quarters, she'd stalk after him right that moment and give his best friend blue balls. Okay, exaggerated… but possible. House walked up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist and kissing her on the neck. "He knew that we were doing the horizontal mambo while he was waiting outside," he felt her stiffen, "he told me before he left." Cuddy puffed out an annoyed breath but said nothing.

"Let's eat," she finally said a while later after savoring the few seconds she was enveloped in his arms. Really, she would love to get used to this back in New Jersey. And she was going to savor everything else that would be served to her for the last few days that she'll be with him. After that, it'd be lonely numerous months without him. Without everything she hated and loved about him. Thank God for the internet, telephones, and cellular phones.

Cuddy extracted herself from his arms and sat on a chair, smiling at him as he sat down in front of the table and momentarily fixed his attention on what she had made for him.

It was stupid that he'd gone overly sentimental over this but he didn't care. Heck, he didn't even care that what she had prepared for him was easy to make. If it were any other woman he'd probably just ignore the value of it but the woman who had made him breakfast for the first time ever was Cuddy. That was reason enough. He internally smiled then looked up to catch her smiling at him, that thousand watt smile. "Stop smiling, it makes me think you poisoned these," he muttered embarrassedly, the embarrassment overweighing the quality of his snide remark on her cooking.

"Sorry, I find your sentimentality so endearing," Cuddy replied mockingly, nodding at him with a condescending pout. But honestly, and she didn't even have to tell him because he already knew, obviously, she really adored his sentimentality over her simple domestic gesture.

"Anything you want to do today?" House casually asked her, finally done feasting his eyes on his food and now literally feasting. It may have been simple breakfast but turns out, Cuddy knew more than just basics when it came to cooking with more style and flare for sparking taste buds. Because his pancakes tasted like they were from some fancy breakfast restaurant, his bacons crunchy and chewy and to-die-for, the eggs, well, they were eggs, and smiling at him sunny side up. He was _dying_ to taste his Reuben. But he'd eat that for the finale.

Cuddy watched as he ate in earnest, enjoying the meal. And then his question sank in. "What?" she asked him, her ears seemingly deceiving her. Did he just ask her what she wanted to do that day? Would he be able to last long if what she wanted to do didn't interest him?

House shrugged. "What do you want to do today? Tennis, or whatever? God forbid, picnic or shopping? Tell me so I could get hell over and done with," he told her, the last part making her roll her eyes at him.

What. An. Enigma.

"So?"

"What do you want to do?" she returned the question, curious. Who knew? Maybe she'll like his preferences. She continued to eat while she waited for him to answer.

"I was thinking tennis. I want to take you down on tennis," he said with a determined challenging grin.

"Still bitter over the last game where I had a love set victory over you in the deciding set during Michigan?" she asked him with a victorious smile.

"You didn't win! I _let _you win!"

"Best of 5. Love set in the final one, House, you lost!" she proudly reminded him.

House scoffed. "You cheated!" he accused.

Seriously, why were they arguing about something less than two decades ago? Well, it was them. They could both be so dense yet so complicated at different intervals. It was part of their dizzying dynamic. Actually this was probably milder than the other crazier arguments they had in New Jersey.

"Oh enlighten me, House. How was it that I cheated?" she asked him with a devilish smirk.

"Your outfit was a sight for sore eyes." Ah yes, he was distracted by her outfit which had been, not surprisingly, a few notches close to see-through. "And I'm sure you took pleasure in that bittersweet distraction even if it caused you your victory since you _let _me win," Cuddy teased. "You lost, accept it, move on," she winningly smiled at him, eating a forkful of her pancake.

"No, no. I challenge you to a match," House challenged, pointing his fork at her with a brow arched.

"Need I remind you I have no appropriate clothing for any activities we may have in mind?" Cuddy informed him.

"You're richer than I am, buy yourself clothes," House retorted with a wave of his hand. "This is really good by the way," he complimented, savoring the bacon. Cuddy gave a chuckle, half-forgiving him for his previous words. "I made you breakfast, buy the clothes for me," she bargained.

"I lent you my shirt, shared my room." "You had been paid _generously_ for those. You have no other than Wilson to blame for a bonus earlier today."

House then instantly replied, "What happened wasn't payment. That was a mutual consummation of this relationship! If that was payment, I'd be calling you my hooker, which you are not." He argued petulantly, not noticing how Cuddy's face softened at what he had said as he grumblingly forked another forkful of bacon. "Fine." House suddenly muttered in acquiescence.

Cuddy looked up at him and then asked, "Fine, what?"

"I'll pay for everything," he said, cheering up a little in the sudden realization that he'd be seeing her fit different clothes on. "Where we going?" she asked.

"Outlet first then… We're on for tennis?" he asked, grinning. Cuddy beamed then nodded. Tennis she could do well. And she terribly missed playing with him. It was nice that he was back to being athletic again.

"Shopping afterwards?" she hopefully suggested.

"Seriously?" House asked with a brow arched in disbelief.

"What? Old man can't handle it?" she dared with a conniving smile.

"I'm concerned about myself, yes, because I'm not sure my back would be able to carry your rotund ass if you get exhausted after we're done with both." House countered with a smirk and as expected, she just mimicked his smirk.

"Just finish eating so we can go back to my suite so I can shower and change then we can go."

House smirked. "You sure you don't want to shower with me?" he asked her with a mischievous smile, his eyebrows bobbing up and down suggestively, making her grin despite herself.

"Tempting…" she grinned, feigning thinking about it.

"Come on, it—"

"But no," she calmly said, grinning while forking her salad.

_**

* * *

**_

Stanley Park Pitch and Putt Recreation Center, 1 pm

Once they were finished with breakfast, Cuddy waited for House to shower and finish up getting spare clothes for himself. He had also brought out two tennis racquets that he had borrowed from Blair a week ago. At around 11, they exited the hotel and were on their way to the sports outlet.

When they got to the outlet, House, thankfully, even if he had threatened, didn't embarrass her while she looked for appropriate tennis apparel. She had asked for his opinion and she ended up getting a powder blue Nike collared top and white skirt-shorts that went well with it. As for the rubber shoes, she just got a pair of Nikes for tennis.

While Cuddy had been browsing through some random rack, he surprised her by suddenly putting a visor on her head, immediately asking her to take that as well. She smiled at him, keeping her eyes on him as he walked away from her, no limp, no pain.

Miraculously, House actually paid for the items despite her insisting that she'll pay for them herself. "Don't flaunt that you earn more than I do, " House had whispered in her ear as he pulled out his cash card and handed it to the woman in the counter. Cuddy had just rolled her eyes at him in reply but once they were out of the outlet, House, surprisingly, carrying all their things except her handbag, she latched onto his arm and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, thanking him with a wide smile.

After eating early lunch, they headed to the indoor tennis courts of Stanley Park Pitch and Putt Recreation Center. House changed into shorts that went above his knee but not above his scar. Cuddy wasn't affected by it but she respected and understood his apprehension at others seeing it or staring at it.

"There's got to be some prize, or whatever. Any wishes? If you win and I lose," House started, bouncing a tennis ball in his hand after pocketing two others.

Cuddy would've said to hell with the game the moment she saw him walk into their court. Damn those toned legs and biceps! And damn his broad chest and blue eyes. She couldn't keep herself from looking at how his muscles flexed as he came near her and continually bounced the ball in his hand. Thankfully she got to hear and comprehend his previous offer of conditions because if not, she would have been caught dead mooning over him when he finally stood in front of her, a mischievous grin on his face, the ball extended for her to take. Cuddy took it in her hand and quickly thought of something she could get if she won. Since she still couldn't decide, she asked him, "What are _your_ conditions?"

"I asked first," House tried to argue but Cuddy shot him a look that just silenced him. He first smirked at her obvious power over him but then pursed his lips in thought. When he leered at her, Cuddy instantly knew that his condition would either border near the edge of crazy or sexual. Maybe even both.

"Just say it," she mumbled, looking up at him.

"If I win… You give me a lap dance," House grinned. "If I lose, this will be a bonus. I'll give you one hell of a massage. I'll be your personal masseuse for the rest of the night."

"So much for saying I wasn't a hooker," Cuddy mumbled, pouting and furrowing her brows. Normally she'd roll her eyes at him, used to his conditions. She knew he meant what he had said to her earlier. She just, like him most of the time, wanted to gauge his reaction to that.

House's brows furrowed at her reaction to his condition if he won. He hadn't meant to make her feel that way. But seriously, a lap dance was among his fantasies of her. Hooking the racquet in his ring finger and pinky, House put a hand on her hip while the one holding the racquet wrapped around her waist. He looked down at her, grinning smartly, wanting to cheer her up, "If it makes you feel better, you can call me your exclusive bitch. But I warn you, I might rather find it sexy than offensive. And Wilson would be pretty jealous." He whispered mischievously. Thankfully, it had the desired effect as Cuddy's frown slowly burst into the smallest of grins before she composed herself and smirked.

Okay… his hands on her wouldn't be bad. But, a lap dance, seriously? Yes, it would be, admittedly, a little fun but… whatever. "Fine."

"Seriously?" House asked, his boyish grin widening, making Cuddy snort in disgust at his childishness although deep within she found it amusing.

"Yes. But if I win," she paused, smiling wryly at him, making him know it wouldn't be good, "_You _will be the one giving me a lap dance." She knew he would be against that. He may be charming but even he wasn't man enough to do a lap dance. Sure, a macho dance would suffice but she didn't think him doing any dancing while stripping would turn her on until he stopped dancing and was finally naked.

"If you lose, you give me that massage and I get to spend a day shopping, using your cards," she grinned like a feral.

"You're so going to lose. No way would I subject myself to a lap dance unless I was the one observing," he answered with a disgruntled smirk.

"Would you rather I change it?" House nodded hopefully at her.

"Sorry, no takesie backsies," she pouted childishly at him. "But who knows, I may be giving later and change it. I'm sure you'll be grateful either way."

"You're actually serious about that lap dance, aren't you?" he fearfully inquired, brows furrowed.

Instead of answering, she arched a challenging brow, her face seductive as she walked, hips swaying for his benefit, to her side of the court, bouncing the ball in her hand as she checked her position before the baseline. "Ready to lose, old man?" she cockily goaded, eyebrow still arched when she looked up at him, the evilest of smiles on her feature.

House guffawed obnoxiously at her, conditions forgotten, walking to his side of the court and up to the baseline, taking a stance and waiting for her service, he said, "Bring it on, MILF!"

Twenty minutes into the first set of the match, House hadn't scored any points over Cuddy yet. Damn, she was good. He may have the strength, height and long legs, but Cuddy had the agility and the brains… well, in this particular sport. He'd never allow her to win over him in mind games if he could help it.

That was them. The greatest of enemies and the best of lovers. One could say that it was a crazy, crazy love game they were more than willing to be a part of.

"Come on House, play like a man!" Cuddy taunted with a victorious grin.

"Didn't it cross your mind that I'm only letting you win again?" House said in a panted reply, making his way back to his place. He'd been able to receive and return her services and other shots but damn, she was really good. Even better than she was the last time he had played with her.

"Didn't it cross _your _mind that all your talking, whining, and excuses are doing nothing more than rendering you more breathless? Or is my outfit yet again a sight for sore eyes?" she mocked gleefully, positioning herself.

"And they say my ego is gargantuan," House sarcastically commented. Although he had to admit, to himself, that she did look hot in that outfit, with her toned legs in full display, her chest also breathing a little faster from all their running to return one's shots.

"And they couldn't be any more right because it really is!" Cuddy laughed, looking at him, her sapphire eyes gleaming with mirth. She wasn't going to let his words mess with her game.

"Just serve the damn ball," House answered, annoyed at Cuddy being able to throw back his remarks. His plan of distracting her wasn't going well for him. So he really just had to play well. "Triple game point, House. 40-love!" he heard her announce before nodding at him to know whether he was ready. He nodded back and waited for her serve.

Cuddy had won the first set. A love set. And she didn't make House forget it. Well, she let her _grin _remind him of it. The second set had been a bit tough for both of them but Cuddy won, 6-3. Cuddy had gotten the better of him with her last backhand which House failed to return. She had shouted in victory at that game point. House was left a panting mess, wondering if he shouldn't have mentioned that damned lap dance for her to give him because she had him do the same knowing he wouldn't want to do it.

"Last Set, House. Best of three, right?" Cuddy grinned. With House, being boastful was okay. Since if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't be hearing the end of his victories over her and how 'just that good' he was.

"I could still beat your haughty ass, you know?" And there was his competitive side rising to the occasion.

"There's a difference between skill and arrogance, House," Cuddy winked at him. Yes, she was getting to him. It showed. "Don't worry, I'll let you whip my ass in lacrosse," Cuddy called out, making him grin a little. Lacrosse… he missed that for sure. And Cuddy had dearly missed seeing him play. He had been one hell of a lacrosse player back in Michigan.

"Of course you will," he chuckled, remembering how she used to cheer with the crowd whenever he chanced a few glances at her during his team's games.

House won the third set, 6-4. He asked her if she wanted a break, noticing that the first and second set victories had obviously worn her out a little but she declined, persistent that they continue. He reminded her of his earlier words about beating her ass and she just waved it off, chuckling, telling him that she just had to rest for a set and that she had just given him a chance to catch up. If he could. House laughed at her. In games, she was just like him. But tennis wasn't his game. It was hers.

"Maybe we should try golf next time. Back in Jersey, I mean," House called, smiling a little. He really felt good, being able to do sports with her, bond, spend time with her without the bondage and limitations that his post-infarction chronic pain would have caused him had she not given him Ketamine and had he not pursued PT and kept himself healthy.

His hopeful and content grin made her smile. They looked at each other from afar for a while before House finally ushered them both to continue with the match so that _she _could perform the lap dance as soon as possible. That comment made her spring into competitive-Cuddy mode right away.

In the fifth set—House had won the fourth set—Cuddy was back in the game, having slightly rested. The scores were 40-30 and she was more than willing to dodge that lap dance.

Match point, House and Cuddy rallied the ball as long as they could but House's recent return shot was much too high and open for a overhead smash and the temptation to deliver it smoothly was too delicious for Cuddy to resist. However, the speed and strength of Cuddy's overhead smash proved to be a painful loss for House… literally. The ball ricocheted from the Taraflex flooring of the court into House's forehead, causing him to fall on his ass – either from the strength or from the pain he couldn't quite tell or remember- before lying flat on his back.

Cuddy, shocked by what happened, immediately dropped her racquet and ran towards him. "House!" she shouted, kneeling beside him. He was silent. She checked his pulse and was more than relieved he had one. Damn her urges! "House!" she called out again, slapping his cheek gently before making it a little harder. She was about to panic—or call for help—when House peeked at her with one eye, closing it the instant she saw him. House was trying not to smile much but he couldn't help himself so when Cuddy hit him hard on the chest, he laughed loudly.

"That wasn't funny!" she yelled at him, knowing nobody would hear them as they were the only ones in the far side of the court. There was another couple at the other end but they only watched when House had fallen. They would have rushed but they heard House's laughter and were both relieved to hear the man was fine so they continued their play.

"If it makes you feel any guiltier, or happier, it really hurts," House whined, groaning when he scrunched up his face, the space between his eyebrows and a little part of his forehead hurting from the impact. "I think you should go one on one with one of those Williams sisters," he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "God, you could smash," he groaned again, slumping his head back on the floor and closing his eyes.

Cuddy's face was of absolute guilt. "I'm sorry," she said, cupping his jaw.

House opened an eye and looked at her, peeking, "It's a game, accidents happen," he reassured her, a hand on the center of his face.

"Does it hurt too bad? You think we should have you checked out?" she concernedly asked. She moved closer to him and settled his head on her lap, caressing his head. She gently peeled his hand from his face and assessed the damage she had caused. A slight bump had formed on his forehead and a slight bruise was starting to color. Cuddy needn't have to apply pressure on it, knowing it would hurt but slightly did so anyway, causing him to yelp in pain.

"What was that for?" He exclaimed, gazing up at her, stormy ceruleans colliding with audacious sapphires.

"For scaring me, you idiot!" she retorted with an indignant glare.

"Well, you'll get your cash card and shopping from me later. But I seriously do not like that lap dance. But I think this closing hit on me would more than make up for it." House whispered, trying to persuade her not to let him do it. Damn her guilt complex. "Okay," she acquiesced. Hey, she had his cash card to use later. Win-win.

"Now, can you kiss my boo boo?" he childishly requested, using his Disney-character-like eyes on her.

Cuddy chuckled. Typical. Milk her guilt complex for all it was worth. She smiled down at him before leaning forward and kissing the small bump a little above the space in between his brows. She opened her eyes to see his closed and the smile remained on her face. She kissed the tip of his nose before pecking him on the lips.

"You lost. Again. It's the least I could do," she grinned as he opened his eyes and smirked at her.

"Now come on, let's get an ice pack on your boo-boo and get out of here, I have some shopping to do." Cuddy excitedly said.

"Don't call it a boo-boo, I'm not a kid!" House spoke petulantly, slowly getting up, Cuddy helping him just in case he got dizzy from abruptly getting vertical.

"Then stop acting like one," Cuddy replied, knowing it would be useless.

"Where's the fun in that?" See?

Cuddy rolled her eyes and accompanied him to the center's clinic along with their things.

_**

* * *

**_

9 pm

Shopping had been fun for both of them, much to House's surprise. Even House had fun despite his cash card getting slashed again and again. He found it amusing that Cuddy didn't actually milk it dry as she dared do so earlier that day. She even bought him some things she thought he'd need, despite him arguing that he had enough to last the six months they would be apart. She knew he liked Nikes so she bought him a pair of his choice, with her own money.

He had a new favorite pair of the brand he liked so much. And obviously he'd use that as often as he could, if not every day. They had dinner out before finally heading back to House's condo unit, dead-tired.

House sat down beside her on the couch. "At least I didn't have to carry you back," House chuckled, digging a spoon into his tub of Häagen-Dazs Amaretto Almond Crunch. He kept his eyes on the film they were watching as he dug spoon after spoon into the tub.

"Don't you know how to share?" Cuddy chided, having seen him take spoon after spoon and not ask her if she wanted some.

"Don't you know how to ask?" House retorted, swinging his head to the side to smirk at her.

"You're such a child," she said, snatching his jaw with her hand and holding it steady. House's brow furrowed until Cuddy licked off the huge amount of ice cream smeared on his chin, much to House's delight and… pleasure.

Setting the tub aside, House claimed her lips with his, tasting the flavor of the ice cream on her tongue as well. They remained kissing for a while until Cuddy was close enough to the tub of ice cream. She pulled away from him and snagged the tub but House was quick enough to stop her. Cuddy shrieked when she almost fell off the couch but House caught her, his arms around her waist.

"Thanks," Cuddy breathed, the thought of falling on her back not the least bit appealing to her.

Cuddy remained straddling him, far from falling now. House took the tub of Häagen-Dazs that fell upright on the couch and took the spoon from beside him on the sofa. "I see you like my lap if you're still straddling me," House mischievously commented. Cuddy only smirked at him. "At least for sure I'd get some ice cream," she chuckled playfully. House scooped a spoonful for her, bringing the spoon centimeters away from her lips. Cuddy took the spoon into her mouth and moaned in delight. The ice cream was delicious.

"I had fun today," Cuddy said after licking her lips clean from the ice cream and House dug in again, stuffing his face. "Thank you," she said, smiling as she wiped away another smudge of cream from the corner of his mouth. He was doing it on purpose.

"You're welcome," he replied, grinning that he made her happy today.

"I was wondering…" Cuddy started with a seductive smile. House waited for her to continue. Cuddy smiling like that wasn't really a good thing most of the time.

"When will my masseuse be servicing me?" she chuckled.

"Later tonight?" House suggested, Cuddy hummed in approval.

"Hmm," Cuddy started after a few minutes of silence, the film long forgotten. 'I was thinking of giving you that lap dance…"

"Seriously?" House perked up, grinning like an idiot.

Cuddy laughed, pecking him on the lips before sitting beside him again.

"No."

House glared at her for little more than five seconds before he smiled small. Being with her would never be boring. And being with her gave him so much contentment and joy, even if he would never verbally acknowledge that unless for her ears only. He loved everything about her. And he was glad that everything was working well so far, that they were happy together at that moment. He wished that that wouldn't ever change because he was in this for the long run.

Later that night House accepted his defeat and performed his bonus condition if he lost—which he had. He serviced Cuddy, giving her a full-body- essential oils included- massage… and then some.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N: Lol, let your imagination go wild with how the body massage went... *wink wink*

_I hope the length and contents were worth the wait… :S This would have been longer but really long chapters tend to bore others so… *shrugs* Anyway, expect the next chapter to be long as well since I'll seriously be finishing the seminar in the next chapter so we could move on with the story… :)_

_**Let me know your thoughts. :)**_

_**PS: **__To those who don't know, I've written, as per readers' requests, a post-finale two-shot… :D You can find it in the list of stories on my profile. :)_


	24. Time

…_**READ CLARIFICATIONS TO AVOID CONFUSION… CLARIF AT A/N…**_

**A/N:**_ So… __**I FIIIINALLY got my dates straight and fixed the little inconsistency as well!**__ :D Apparently, the date I followed was that of 2009! Now, it's 2010. Let's pretend their ages are that of Season 3. :D No argues! I screwed up, sorry… But I did fix it. Hope you guys are down with that… xD Actually including actual dates on fics is hard… xD _

_Darn, how I wish I didn't screw the dates up so I was able to make them watch the Olympics, while actually stating the events, etc... LOL, take note, I totally reread my fic in order to figure out what was up with my dates… xD_

_Happy 1st year writing anniversary to me! Lol… Who would've thought I'd last one year… xD Hugs and kisses to everyone who have been reading my Huddy stories! :D For all the support, the constructive criticism, the reviews [signed or anonymous], and the patience, I humbly thank you guys from the bottom of my heart! :)_

_**Hope you like this one! **_

_**

* * *

**_

**ABSENCE**

* * *

**_CHAPTER 23: TIME_**

.

_**Friday, January 29, 9 pm**_

The last few days have been absolutely wonderful. Every after seminars they would meet up and go places, do things. Cuddy couldn't believe that she was spending so much time with him and having so much fun—banter and teasing included. She had been dreading the day that she was to go back to Jersey again. As cliché as it sounded, her week had been one amazing heaven despite the little misunderstanding she had had with House a few days ago. She was utterly excited to see him back in Princeton with her. That thought made her longing grow but made her smile all the same because in the end, she'll be with him. And that was what mattered. They have waited years to finally get together. What was less than half a year?

Last night they had talked about visiting but Cuddy knew she wouldn't be able to take vacations since her schedule was terribly loaded already. She had asked him if he could visit and House told her that he didn't know and that he would have to check with Lexi. She knew he knew that she became a little disappointed that there was a possibility that they wouldn't be able to meet in between but her thoughts were shifted to the fact that they _will _eventually be with each other again in due time.

After Wilson's speech in the morning they had eaten lunch and watched some games from the Olympics together, Lexi catching up on them an hour or so later. But House had excused himself around 4 pm and took off somewhere Cuddy didn't know. She had asked him but all he answered was a small grin which Wilson returned. She had tried to threaten Wilson into spilling the beans but he just wouldn't spill. Lexi have had no idea whatsoever because House hadn't confided in her.

"Hey, I've been trying to reach you all day after figure skating," Cuddy said after House stole a kiss from her unsuspecting lips upon entering his condo unit. House had given her a key a few days ago and she decided to wait for him there.

"Went out to get you something," House revealed, patting his bulging pocket with an enticing grin.

Cuddy girlishly smiled, quickly slipping a hand into his slack's pocket but before she could retrieve the rectangular box, House's hand just as quickly held her hand in place. "Who said you could get it?" he asked with a smirk which Cuddy defiantly returned.

"You said you got it for me," she replied frankly.

"I got it for you but I haven't given it to you yet, so it's not yours yet," House playfully replied, his smart-ass tone present. He grinned down at her, making her all the more curious.

Cuddy squinted her eyes at him before scarily grinning seductively and threatening, "You know…," she started, lips tugging up like a Cheshire cat, "I could get my hands on something else if you don't relent. And I can guarantee you that it won't be pleasurable."

"I could just grab your boob. That wouldn't be pleasurable either," House replied, his grip on her tightening but not too tight to hurt her. "Come on, hand out. You're going to spoil the surprise!" House whiningly said. Acquiescing, Cuddy finally smiled up at him and cooed, "Such a romantic," as she extracted her hand from his pocket.

"Thank you," House replied. "Now go wait for me in the balcony," he softly said, kissing her tenderly on the lips before gently pushing her to the direction of the balcony. House grinned at her retreating form before walking to the kitchen. He took out two wine glasses and filled them halfway with red wine. He walked to where she stood, placing the glasses on the coffee table of his balcony before standing behind her and kissing her neck once.

Cuddy sighed. "This view is just beautiful," she whispered as she gazed at the false creek which was being illuminated by the night lights.

House wrapped his arms around her, setting his chin on top of her head, also taking in the view which always made him relax. "I was sitting here most of the nights I talked to you over the phone," he whispered, recalling those moments which were but weeks ago.

"And I was stuck in bed or the couch staring into space," Cuddy muttered, feigning envy. "That's so unfair."

House chuckled, pulling her against him even tighter. "I'll miss you," he whispered to her ear, feeling her tilting her head closer to his face, relishing the feel of being in his arms like she always did the moment she was enveloped in the security and warmth of his embrace that night of the acquaintance party.

"I know… I'll miss you too," she replied just as softly as his whisper, her hands running up and down his toned arms.

They stayed that way for a while until House finally let go of her and led her to the couch. They sat down, House getting just the littlest bit nervous while Cuddy watched him, loving how he looked all coy and how the dim lights in his balcony revealed his coloring ears. "I got you something," he said, starting to retrieve the box from his pocket. "You told me," Cuddy replied softly with a smile and House just gave her a look which she grinned at, gesturing with her hands for him to go on and continue. Safe to say she knew it wasn't an engagement ring. Though a part of her kind of wished it was, she still thought that marriage would be a little too early for them. House thought the same.

"House, you didn't need to—"

"I wanted to get you this," he boyishly smiled as he handed her the black Movado watch case. It wasn't the brand, it wasn't the case, and it wasn't the amount of money the known Swiss brand cost. It was the thought behind its purchase that House was about to point out. "Six months is not that long but I wanted you to have something to look at as the date and time drew near," he timidly told her, his voice a husky whisper that made her want to squeal her lungs out. But what made Cuddy's flutter more was the obvious sentiment and thought put into the gift. When she was sure he was done, she carefully lifted the lid and quietly gasped as she saw the watch House had bought for her.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, looking at him to meet his eyes, her own sparkling with joy. She looked back down at the watch, taking in its simple yet elegant and sparkling design. It was a Movado, a women's Rondiro baguette bracelet watch which was made of solid stainless steel with diamond bezel and white mother of pearl dial. As she gazed at her newest favorite and beloved piece of jewelry, House pulled her out of her thoughts by taking the watch and helping her put it on. It looked beautiful on her wrist, just as he had pictured it would be.

"Thank you," she said, smiling up at him. She moved closer to him, claiming his lips with hers, showing him with her actions how much this gesture pulled at her heartstrings more than she could express. Her hand came up to rest on his cheek, feeling his stubble scratch her palm sensually. It was a beautiful surprise indeed, Cuddy thought. Good thing she didn't pull it out from his pocket earlier. His way of giving it to her and telling her the root of his gesture was so much better than just getting the watch.

Time. It had been against them before but now it was for them. And even if they'll be separated for a few months, the day they get together again will be more than worth it. Separation had made them truly get to terms with what their hearts really wanted, what they really needed. Now, this separation will do them good all the same. Time and patience went together, Cuddy thought.

She smiled against his lips, thinking how this man could be so incredible. And she thought of how lucky she was to be the woman he loved. Everything was more than worth it. Everything was worth the wait. _He _was more than worth the six months of wait. Softly nibbling on his lower lip she broke the kiss hesitantly. She wanted to kiss him more, feel him more but she wanted to see those hypnotizing eyes. Their orbs connected and Cuddy smiled, causing him to let out a small boyish grin. Cuddy's thumb caressed his cheekbone, her eyes never leaving his. "I love you," she amorously said, smiling brightly. Charmingly kissing her on the corner of her mouth, House whispered in her ear, "I love you too," before pulling her against him again. It was beautifully addictive, hugging her, feeling her fit so perfectly in his arms.

Minutes later they pulled away from the embrace, each getting their own glass of wine. "To us," House raised, Cuddy following with a smile. "To us." She replied, clinking her glass with his. Us. It sounded too good to be true but both of them were happy about it. Very happy.

An hour later, they both ended up in his bed, already half undressed, House in his boxers and Cuddy in her underwear. House was on top of Cuddy and in between her legs. They kissed slowly, tenderly, as if all the time in the world was in their hands, as if she wasn't leaving the next day. They relished every remaining minute spent in each other's company and they spent it without hurry.

House's lips were soft against hers, a contrast to how his stubble brushed against her face. But she loved it. She kissed back and although she wanted to make the pace faster, she didn't initiate doing so. This would be the last time they would make love before they finally get together permanently in six months.

After a whole fifteen minutes of just savoring each other's taste and kissing tenderly, Cuddy finally let him know she wanted to set a new pace. She did so by gently pushing his head towards her neck again. She was already ready for him but she still wanted to drink in every moment like he did. House complied with her wishes, moving his lips towards her neck, scattering wet saccharine kisses along the length of it and then dragging his lips lazily up her jaw then to the back of her ear, making her moan lowly when he sucked at an erogenous spot she had there. Her hands were unhurriedly roaming the span of his back and the muscles he had acquired by his frequent exercising. She loved his arms. His biceps were admittedly a very large turn on for her. House anchored himself above her, mesmerized by her. She was so beautiful and he was so lucky to be with her. He must have done something right to deserve her. This woman would be the death of him. But a sweet death it would be, he thought as he sucked on her pulse point which caused her to run her nails down his back, making him moan in pleasure and making him grind his pelvis against hers.

An hour more and they were spent, their time in making love to one another having culminated with the warmth of his semen from his loins being released into her while she rode in the pleasure of the powerful orgasm that had invaded her being. She had clung to House, her face buried in the crook of his neck, her hands splayed against his ass, pushing him more towards her, wanting him to be inside her as deep as virtually allowed. She had cried his name in a mantra he had taken pleasure in hearing as he held her.

"Six months," House whispered , his arm around her as they lay side by side.

"I know…" Cuddy said, almost immediately drowning in the length the number presented.

"We'll survive," she then added, her head on his chest, hearing his heart beating regularly. Her hand was splayed on his torso, loving the warmth that he exerted.

"I'll come visit if I have time," House told her definitely.

"You better," she playfully told him.

"Don't have the Blair-witch spy on me," House said, his lips in a thin line, feigning seriousness and suspicion.

"Do I have any reason to do so?" Cuddy prodded, playing along.

"No." House seriously replied.

"I know. You love me too much," she chuckled, patting his stomach.

"I love your ass and the twins," House said, snaking his hand down her back and patting a cheek. Cuddy laughed at his lechery. She was going to miss this.

"I love you," she quietly said, yawning afterwards as the activities of the day… and night finally sunk in.

House kissed the crown of her head, "Sleep," he tenderly said, running soothing circles on her lower back.

"Good night," she said, snuggling closer to him with a smile on her face.

"I love you," he said before closing his eyes and succumbing to sleep.

_**

* * *

**_

Six months without him sounded so terrible after the week she had just experienced with him. And yes, people would assume she had gone insane as to be waiting for none other than House but she didn't care. She loved him. She had been with him for a week and now, looking back, everything felt as if it were only yesterday that he had taken care of her as she suffered from a terrible migraine, only yesterday that he had been so thoughtful as to make breakfast in bed. She looked down at her wrist, smiling as she took in the beauty and meaning that her new watch wordlessly spoke to her.

She sighed deeply, looking at her luggage. She was going back to New Jersey, miles away from him. She recalled, vividly, how he had told her he loved her and how he had made love to her with every fiber of his being.

He was the old House and a whole lot more she never thought he could open himself to be. She had come here with no expectations other than they would finally get together, everything else ignored...

Until he started being so gentle to her. Loving, sweet, and thoughtful. It was a beautiful addition to their screwed-up-yet-functional dynamic. A very, very beautiful set of additions to the enigmatic equation that were House and Cuddy. All these years, all these months and the months more that were coming, were and would be worth it. How many times, had either one of them thought of that? Never enough, probably.

She smiled, looking forward to the promising future ahead. With House. And hopefully, more than a year or two from now, a baby to call her own. _Their _own.

"Ready?" House pulled her out of her reverie as he entered her suite. He looked a little disheartened and from that look she knew that he didn't like this six-month separation either. "Six months," she breathed out just like he had the night before, looking from her luggage to him.

"I know you're going to miss me. Don't worry, you'll forget me the moment you open a budget proposal," he answered her, smirking, taking a step closer to stand in front of her.

She chuckled before she put a palm on his chest, feeling his heart beat a little faster than normal. Smiling, she looked up at him before pressing herself against him and burying her face in his chest, her hand still set atop his heart. "You suck at reassurances," she commented amusedly.

"I'll miss your supertanker," House whispered chuckling when Cuddy lightly smacked him where her palm was. "Just them?" she asked softly, playing along. House pulled away a little, glancing down at her exposed cleavage and said, as if talking to them, "Of course, I'll miss you two, too!"

Arching a brow up at him and pressing herself closer to him, she asked, "And me?"

House feigned thinking, the right side of his face scrunching up in thought. He gave an overly dramatic yelp when Cuddy playfully pinched his side, pouting at him. "And me?" she asked again, softer this time. House held her by the hips before sliding a hand up to cup her neck, a thumb caressing her jaw. Their eyes never strayed from one another as House snaked his left hand around her waist.

"Always," he finally answered in a low, serious voice, charmingly smiling down at her. She could have melted into a puddle at how sweet he had made that sound.

Instead of kissing him Cuddy anchored her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "I'll miss you," she whispered, breathing in the mixture of the scents of him, his cologne and aftershave.

"I'll miss you too," he replied, enveloping her snugly in the warmth of his arms, making her never want to let go.

"Call me when you land," House told her, running his hand through her locks, taking in the intoxicating scent of her shampoo. He felt her nod against his chest and he smiled.

A while later House broke their silent yet comfortable embrace. "We have to get you and Wilson to the airport. Let's go."

_**

* * *

**_

"Isn't Lexi coming with us?" Cuddy inquired, the silence in the cab finally getting on her nerves.

"She had a board meeting to attend to, but she called…" Wilson said, pausing before he sighed and continued. "We decided to just be friends. You were right," Wilson said, glancing back at her with a small frown, "I definitely can't do long distance." Cuddy pursed her lips while House was internally surprised but externally expressionless. "But who knows, if we were really meant to try, our paths would cross again," Wilson shrugged, taking in how his two best friends were taking the news.

"You're too full of pheromones, Wilson, get yourself checked," House remarked, smirking, earning a smack from Cuddy which he yelped and whined at. Cuddy only smirked at him while Wilson chuckled.

"Nice watch," Wilson complimented finally. He had wanted to comment earlier but they had been stuck in a conversation about him and Lexi.

Cuddy smiled, looking down at her Movado, running her other hand around its diamond bezel. "Thanks," she said, looking at Wilson with a smile before turning her head to House. "House gave it to me last night," she said with a fond sparkle in her sapphire orbs.

Wilson's brows arched, "Nice choice," he complimented instead of teasing him. House was thankful as he gave a nod and a small grin at Wilson.

"Are those diamonds?" Wilson asked, surprised at the bezel of the watch. House nodded. "Wow," Wilson breathed as he sat back properly in his seat. Cuddy smiled widely, gazing up at House. He didn't return the look but pulled her closer to him.

"I can't wait to see an engagement ring," they heard Wilson loudly mumble in the front seat. Cuddy laughed as her hand splayed on House's abdomen and her head on his shoulder.

Wilson grinned in the front seat, knowing fairly well that his best friend was drilling a blackhole into the back of his head.

_**

* * *

**_

"Call me when you get home," House sternly reminded her, his arms around her, palms flat against the small of her back. Cuddy rolled her eyes at him before smiling when he smirked at her reaction. Gently patting her right hand in the center of his clothed chest, she looked up at him again with a serene smile he was surely going to miss. "I heard you the last three times," she sweetly murmured. House's face softened as their gazes remained locked onto one another, wordlessly communicating that that was it. They were parting again for a long six months.

However, their moment was cut off when Wilson lightheartedly called out to them from afar, saying, "For the love of God, House! Hug her, kiss her goodbye, and tell her you love her so we could board our flight! It's almost going to be their last call for boarding!"

Cuddy leant her head on House's chest, laughing as she looked at Wilson with a sad smile and misty eyes. Wilson knew leaving House would be hard especially after the amazing—so she told him—week she had just spent with the man she loved.

God, it had been such an eventful and happy week, she thought. But it had to end so they could start a new chapter in their life as a couple. Six months wouldn't be that long, she piped up, since she'll be with him eventually.

She looked up at him again, their eyes talking non-verbally. House leaned down to tenderly enclose her lips with his, kissing her gently for a few seconds before they allowed themselves to deepen it a little bit, tongue subtly meeting and meshing. She could feel all that he was pouring from his lips; the emotions. And hope. She drank from him strength to board that flight and not leave him. She drank hope from his kisses that all will really be better when they finally get together again. Absence from one another's lives for a while had really done good to them both. She was sure this separation would as well.

House reluctantly pulled away from what would be their final kiss for six months. He leant his forehead to hers, relishing in the feel of her in his arms. "I love you," he whispered a breath away from her lips. Cuddy smiled and hugged him tightly, telling him she loved him as well. He kissed her cheek before finally surrendering her to Wilson's care, giving his best friend a blink-quick hug and pat on the shoulder—to whisper some threats and gruff well meant well-wishes.

House watched as they presented their tickets and started walking away to board the plane. He saw Cuddy glance at the watch he had given her and he smiled, knowing that she would be giving him a final glance. A split-second later she did. She waved at him and locked her eyes onto his. He waved at her and playfully waved her off, gesturing his head for her to follow Wilson. She nodded, giving him a final wave and following Wilson, glancing again a final time with a beautiful smile in her face which he returned. When she was lost from sight, House sighed.

The next six months will be interesting, he thought positively a moment later.

Time was on their side now, he surmised with a hopeful gleam in his cerulean eyes.

"Yeah," he whispered.

_**

* * *

**_

_**A/N:** I know I said I'll end the conference next chappie but I seriously couldn't wait to move on! I hope you guys feel the same! ;)_

_**Lemme know your thoughts :D **_

_**TEASER::: I HAVE SOOOOO MUCH PLANNED FOR ABSENCE… You'll be surprised. :D Anyone wanna start the guessing? :D**_

_God, those Season 7 Huddy pics are TO DIE FOR! *what they showed I'll refrain from saying because some of you might be avoiding spoilers* Rev or message me to get the link if you haven't seen the teaser pics yet... or visit Twitter or the Huddy comms, on LJ or FanPop. _


	25. Distance

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 24: DISTANCE**_

.

_**January 30, Blair's office, 4 pm**_

"A little birdie told me you broke up with Wilson!" House announced as he entered Blair's office. The administrator looked up from the file she had been reading with an expressionless face. A while later she looked back down, a small grin on her face.

"What?" House asked, confused by her actions. He walked closer, standing behind one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Your little birdie twitted you the wrong information," Blair said in an almost singsong voice, glancing up and then chuckling upon seeing her friend and employee's shocked reaction.

"What?"

"Wilson and I are trying long distance," Blair said, looking back down at the file she was reading.

House was surprised. Wilson, that sneaky devil! "Seriously?" he asked Blair. The dean only bobbed a brow once before grinning. And House knew he had been played.

"He told you we decided to be friends, right?" House nodded.

"I was just messing with you. We did settle on that," Blair finally said, voice serious yet not much affected by the failed try at a new flame. She didn't really believe she was the type to last in a long distance relationship. And based on House's earlier information about the kind Dr. Wilson, he wasn't one to stay faithful either—especially in a long distance relationship. If there was a time for them, that would come. For now, she would have to live her life and move forward.

"Seriously, Blair-witch, what is what?"

"We're just friends now," she shrugged.

"You're okay with that?" House asked, sitting on the chair and looking at the crown of her head, staring at it as if he could order her head to move so her eyes could meet his and he could be able to tell if she was lying or messing with him.

Finally, she signed the file, set it aside and then looked at him, hands folded on top of her desk. She shrugged again. "It's okay. The world's round. If we were in the same orbit, getting together would be inevitable. So if we were meant to try, that'd happen in due time. I'll live my own life for now."

"You sure you didn't rehearse that line with Wilson?" House asked, intrigued at his best friend's and his boss' mindsets about fate and time.

He couldn't really blame them for not wanting to go through with the challenges brought about by a long distance relationship. Not that it usually ended badly. It was just very, very testing.

_**

* * *

**_

February 14

Cuddy didn't expect him to send her anything on Valentine's Day. She had only expected a call and maybe, a greeting. To her surprise, a USPS guy rang her doorbell and knocked on her door one lonely Valentine's Day Sunday morning with a package.

She was initially surprised and then afterwards elated to see a copy of her great grandfather's book, Approach to The Acute Abdomen, when she carefully tore the wrapper from it. She thought it was really thoughtful of him. She laughed upon reading the message he had written on the blank first page which read: So much for a first V-Day first date. At least this would keep you from going out with some idiot—or Wilson. Happy Valentine's Day, I love you. –House.

The other gift he sent her was a new CD which contained a few tracks with beautiful music he had made himself on his baby grand. She spent Valentine's Day at home, head leant back on the couch arm, eyes closed as her component played House's CD. And although she was alone, she felt as if House was there with her as she listened to the CD he had made for her. Even if most of the music were just remade by him, she loved the gift. Having a partner who knew how to play the piano remarkably well was rare and she felt very special and lucky. Her favorite track was the first one… because he composed it himself.

After lunch another delivery guy had dropped by, handing her a bouquet of a beautiful assortment of white and red roses. From House. She smiled widely, finally calling him despite it having been only 10:30 am where her lover was.

On the phone she told him jokingly that if he had sent her a teddy bear she would have had Lexi immediately order an MRI for him. She was a little embarrassed to have gotten him nothing for that day. She didn't put much thought into it because, one, she thought he wouldn't even think about the annual celebration, and two, it just honestly hadn't crossed her mind to get him something since they weren't physically together that day. She found her reasoning a little stupid but in the course of their conversation she told him that she'd make it up to him and that she owed him one.

House, of course, being House, only told her that she could just wear some skimpy outfit and that that would do.

Cuddy, of course, only replied with a smirk that House needn't predict since it was a natural reply to his lecherous remarks.

_**

* * *

**_

April 16

It has been a busy week and some days for both of them. For some reason, their schedules just wouldn't match, their communication had become less, and one or the other had been very, very annoyed that either one of them wasn't _trying _to make time. As Cuddy had pointed out in one of the few times they had gotten a chance to get a hold of one another: if there was a will, there was a way. House had explained to her about the patient he had last week and the one he was diagnosing this week. He didn't even have enough time to get back to his condo unit despite Blair's encouragement for him to get some rest. He really needed it. But it wasn't that he absolutely had no time, it was just because he had become a little attached to this patient and his case.

"I'm sorry," House apologized, finally making time to call her. They haven't had contact with one another for two days. They were truly stubborn. It had always been hard for him to crawl out of his own universe whenever he was utterly wrapped up in a case. Especially more so when he had started caring for a patient. It was the reason he was adamant on meeting them unless direly necessary.

He heard her sigh on the other line and he ran a hand across his face. His patient was showing no signs of getting better and he was very tired. His thoughts eventually led him to her. And he decided to let up and make peace with her. He hated it when she was mad at him, even more so when she was disappointed. He hated _being _the disappointment.

"It wasn't your fault, I'm sorry… things had been so hectic," Cuddy said on the other line, palming her forehead as she recalled their argument over the phone days ago. She wasn't mad at him, she was just upset about this setting of theirs. She hadn't known long distance was just this hard. They were experiencing it now and she's grown a deep understanding and amazement for those who ventured down this road. It's hard.

Four more months, she reminded herself. Four more. They'll get through this.

"How's your patient?" she asked. She understood how he was with his patients and his cases. She just… she didn't know how to explain how she felt two days ago. Everything just snapped. At work, with House… everything.

"Not good…" House answered, trailing off. She knew that meant chances were dismal.

"I thought…" Cuddy started, unsure of whether or not to tell him what had really bothered her so much. She had been terribly upset by it.

"You thought…?" House prompted her, practically feeling her hesitance.

Cuddy sighed again, finally deciding to tell him. "I thought I was pregnant…" she said in a duly disappointed tone. "Apparently it was just something I ate…" she added bitterly.

"…which caused her hormones to act up and cause a PT kit to turn out positive," House thought to himself, face falling slightly. He knew she—they, wanted a child together. A pregnancy test turning positive only for it to be not…. He knew that would really be upsetting for her.

"We have time," House reminded her.

Cuddy gave a small smile; the word 'we' causing it. It told her that he was really in it as much as she was. It meant that he was really with her on this plan of getting her pregnant. He really wanted her happy. "I know. It was just…"

"I know," he said.

A moment of silence claimed them. But House broke it, wanting to cheer her up a little. "You didn't, by any chance, eat those spicy cheese stuff Tina Fey ate on 30 Rock, did you?" he asked, chuckling lowly.

"What's 30 Rock?" Cuddy asked, confused.

House smirked, knowing his plan of cheering her up was already a flub since she didn't know the series. "Nothing…" he grumbled.

Apparently, his annoyance was all it took to make her laugh. "I'm sorry," she said, chuckling on the other line.

"Doesn't sound like it," House muttered before a small smile lifted the corners of his lips. Hearing her laugh always made him smile. Her smile and her laugh were contagious. So was she. And he loved that about her.

They continued to talk for some more time about random things. A while more Cuddy opened an over-the-phone differentials to help him stimulate his gears a little more. She had suggested diseases and whatnot and he tried to think whether or not her suggestion was a candidate for his patient.

In the span of twenty minutes Cuddy was able to suggest something that sparked the solution—the diagnosis to House's patient. He excused himself and told her he'd call her, thanking her for her help and apologizing again for what had happened.

On the other end of the line, Cuddy smiled and cheered him before saying goodbye and ending their call. A smile had painted her face, glad that he'd finally be able to rest his mind until his next patient was wheeled into the hospital, hopefully not soon. At this point he'd rather serve clinic hours.

_**

* * *

**_

April 29

"Everything's set?" House asked Wilson over the phone.

"Yeah," Wilson agreed. Then skeptically, he asked him, "Are you sure about this?"

House rolled his eyes at Wilson's doubt. "As long as you promise not to jump her or let her jump anybody else."

Wilson chuckled at House's worries.

"And don't dare screw this up by spilling the beans!" House warned with a serious face even if Wilson couldn't see.

"It's not like you're proposing!" Wilson joked on the other line.

"Believe me… if I planned to, you'd know _after _she says yes," House answered seriously. Wilson had this big tendency to blurt out surprises. He was like one big screwed up jack in the box sometimes.

"Yeah, right! Like you'd be able to help telling me," Wilson smugly replied, chuckling.

"Just make sure she's fine. Either way, the good of it all is that it wouldn't be my head she'll be ripping off. It'll be yours since you're my representative," House teased, laughing.

Wilson shuddered at the thought of Cuddy hanging him by the balls. But he had to do this for his two best friends. He just had to keep his trap shut and everything will be fine in no time.

"Long distance love affairs," Wilson mumbled to himself, shaking his head with a small grin playing at his lips.

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

_Short, I know…but this is just a filler chappie. Next one's going to be a lot longer… _

_**Lemme know your thoughts! :D Leave some love and sugar please… :D Or suggestions… **_

**TEASER::: **_Next chapter's going to be TONS of fun! And I'm not being sarcastic… ;) and a small part of it is already written in my notebook… rather illegibly, if I may add. _

_**Who's excited? Raise your hands! :D**_


	26. A Happy Birthday

_**ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**CHAPTER 25: A HAPPY BIRTHDAY**_

_**. **_

_**4:30 pm**_

Upon entering the hospital Dr. Lisa Cuddy felt like a sheep in the middle of a pack of hungry wolves when she realized that more than a dozen set of eyes were following her movements. To say it was creepy was an understatement. Their incoherent whispers were also making her all the more suspicious. If something entirely bad happened one brave soul would have informed her already. She instantly felt like she was under the microscope. That was until she got inside the clinic. Probably everybody but her assistant and those who weren't working there had their eyes on her. She ignored them. If it continued until she got out, only then would she finally ask. She made her way to her office, pulling open the door and was met by her assistant's warm smile. Grace nodded at her then continued her work while Cuddy entered her office.

Cuddy froze in the middle of her office when she looked up from her Blackberry. On top of her desk laid the prettiest and biggest bouquet of red roses she has ever seen and on the coffee table to her left she saw the prettiest arrangement of assorted flowers on a vase. She made her way to the desk and took hold of the bouquet, smelling the fragrant roses. She let out a small smile before putting it back down on her desk and making her way towards her assistant outside her office doors.

Grace looked up at Cuddy with expectant brown eyes and politely asked the dean if she needed anything. "Do you know who sent the flowers?" Cuddy asked, masking her excitement and anxiousness. "There was no card on it," she added.

"The 'sender' on the form I signed had Dr. Gregory House written on it," Grace said, glad that she was able to see and remember that. She smiled at Cuddy, happy that she loved the flowers. She didn't know who the man was but after asking some of the nurses at the desk earlier she found out that he was, according to them, a roguishly handsome, brilliant yet narcissistic and curmudgeon doctor that used to work at Plainsboro and had been rumored to be sleeping with her boss before. She found that last part to be funny, though. She didn't know why.

"He's here?" Cuddy asked, her voice giving out how surprised and excited she was with that news. Cuddy was actually verbally asking herself but Grace must have thought the question had been directed to her so she answered, saying, "He's in the Diagnostic Department, last time I heard. The nurses said he dropped by to visit Dr. Wilson."

Undeniably, House was the reason people were staring at her! How could they not? It has been months! And he suddenly walks in the hospital like he hadn't been gone for God knows how long, without a limp or any pain in his leg.

"Please reschedule anything I have for tomorrow for next week," Cuddy told her secretary on a whim after hearing that he was, in fact, in the building. She'd rather spend her day tomorrow with him than listen to her department heads whining about the 'insufficient' this or that that they could come up with. And besides, this would be the first time she'll do it. It wasn't like she'll be making a habit out of it.

"Will do," Grace answered with a smile and nodded to Cuddy before proceeding with accomplishing her boss' orders.

Cuddy exited her office and made her way to the elevators, successfully hiding the smile that wanted to creep up her face and stay there for her hospital staff to see. What they'd say if they found out she and House were dating sounded so hilarious already. But she honestly didn't want them to know if it could be helped. She didn't want other people's noses in her business.

As she approached his office after exiting the elevator, Cuddy inwardly chuckled upon seeing House's former staff peeking at the room adjoined to his old DDX room. The blinds were shut and she inwardly chuckled upon seeing Cameron, Chase, and Foreman trying to catch a glimpse of their former boss. Normally, she'd expect Cameron or Chase hurtling House with a bucketful of questions already but they were there, just sitting in their seats with their heads tilted to peek at the man Cuddy couldn't yet see.

Cuddy opened the door to the differential room and wordlessly ushered House's ducklings out of the door to the room, of course, not without complaints. Cameron was about to argue when Cuddy gave her a stern look. "You three are needed in the clinic, we're short on doctors," she said, dismissing them. When the door to the DDX room swung closed, Cuddy turned to look at House who was staring out of the window, his oversized tennis ball in his hands. She quietly opened the door that connected his old office to the DDX room and leaned on the glass frame.

"I've missed seeing you there," she started as way of greeting, hands crossed casually in front of her as she leaned on the glass frame, a sweet grin on her face. Yes, she's missed seeing him sitting there, unmindful of everything else happening in the world whilst he figured out what was wrong with his patient.

House pivoted the chair and looked at her with his mischievous boyish grin. "How shocked did they look?" he asked her, amused, needless to point out he was talking about his former minions—or even the hospital staff who have had the displeasure of being acquainted with him even once.

Cuddy chuckled as she continued to trace her eyes along his face. His scruff was sexily maintained in just the right way that she loved and what she wouldn't give to touch his cheek there and then as she kissed him. "Enough to have them glued to their seats," she answered with a smile which he returned.

House ran his eyes along her features. She was, as always, sexy and femininely administrative. Damn those 'do me' pumps for adding more sexiness to her. But that smile imprinted on her visage stole his attention from anything else. "Hi," he finally greeted. "Missed me?" he rhetorically asked, smirking.

"Well, are you just going to sit there and be smug or are you going to walk up to me and kiss me?" she replied teasingly. Of course she's missed him. What an inane question. She smiled.

House rolled his eyes before standing up anyway and taking his time walking to where she stood. Cuddy immediately hugged him, wrapping her arms around his torso with him pulling her to him, hands on her lower back. It felt good feeling her again. "Happy birthday," he whispered against her ear, gently running his fingers through her tresses.

"You remembered," she smiled dreamily against his chest.

"How could I forget?" She chuckled.

They pulled away from their embrace and about three seconds later Cuddy slapped him in the chest, making him yelp in surprise and from the initial sting.

He pouted. "What was that for?"

"For making me think you forgot about me!" she pouted. Having no way of communicating with him despite all the possible ways was torturous. "And for making me thin k you were too 'busy' to call, email, Skype, or even text me, but not Wilson!"

"You thought I had another woman on the side?" he curiously asked, an eyebrow raised. He wasn't the cheating type. Well, yes, he slept with Stacy whilst she had been married to somebody else but _he _wasn't committed to anybody that time. It was a twisted logic. He'd never cheat on anybody. He was traditional that way.

Embarrassed, Cuddy nodded. For a while she thought that that was the case. She wasn't perfect, and neither was he. And she was a woman, too. Her gender was the one to blame for that thought. She believed with everything she has that he wasn't capable of cheating on her but her thoughts obviously strayed to that thought when he had stopped contacting her for three weeks in a row.

One could only imagine how she had practically harassed and threatened Wilson into telling her if House was only messing with her or whether he was just really busy. Wilson, of course, always the knight, told her that he knew nothing at all and assured her anyway that House would never cheat on her. "Blame my gender," she whispered under her breath, her head lowered to avoid his amused gaze. "You couldn't blame me for thinking it. I mean, you practically ignored my existence for three weeks."

House put one of his hands on her waist while his other cupped her neck, encouraging her to meet his eyes. He fondly smiled at her when she did. "I'm sorry," he sincerely apologized. He knew it'd drive her crazy but he had to if he didn't want the surprise spoiled. "That was part of the plan to surprise you," he continued, pulling her closer while the pad of his thumb soothingly caressed one side of her jaw, "I'm sorry it surprised you in every way possible." Cuddy smiled, hanging her arms around his neck and burying her face where his neck met his shoulder. With that gesture, he knew that he was forgiven. "It worked though, didn't it?" he asked, chuckling, rubbing her back in lazy circles. Cuddy nodded, rolling her eyes anyway. He had to rub it in, didn't he? "Too much," she whispered, remembering the annoying thoughts that had run through her paranoid mind during that third week.

"And for the record," he whispered, lips brushing against the shell of her ear, "I would never cheat on you."

"I know," she whispered, smiling against his throat at the sincerity and dignity in his voice.

"Happy birthday," he repeated, glad he was here to celebrate it with her; glad she wouldn't be alone on her special day.

"Thank you," Cuddy replied, looking up at him. She couldn't stop smiling! It felt kind of pathetic at the same time. She was putty in his arms.

"You should've seen the look on Brenda's face when I entered the clinic," he whispered after a while, stifling his amused chuckle upon remembering that epic facial expression which he could only describe as 'horrifying' and 'surprised.'

"You should've seen how they looked at me when I got in," Cuddy said, rolling her eyes at the memory.

"Think they're plain surprised to see me or you think they're just terrified you'll be hiring me back?"

"You could always work somewhere else," she played along, looking up at him with a glint of mischievousness in her sapphire eyes.

House placed his hands on her hips, devilishly grinning down at her as he said, "You know you're the only boss I could stand. Anyway, you also know I only like to be dominated by you. Most deans of medicine don't look as hot."

Cuddy laughed at his lechery. "Always knew women in power are such a turn on for you," she smiled. It was one less thing to worry about with him. He would never cheat on her and he wasn't threatened by her being in a higher position than him. He had no qualms with women in control. Yes, he defied her most of the time, but his psyche _allowed _her to be more powerful than him, career-wise. Other men would have developed an inferiority complex. But not him, thankfully.

"I've got your balls…" she told him with a feline grin, suddenly grabbing him by his crotch, making him half-groan, half-grunt in surprised, a hand splayed on his torso. "… and you're not getting them back."

"Want to skip going out and jump into bed, minx?" he invited, his libido already stirring from her actions. She could always be quite the seductress whenever she was in the mood to play the role.

"Dinner first, then bed," she practically purred, making House groan. She had to stop this or else he'd pin her to something and get their partying started, consequences be damned.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, breathing out when she finally let go of his groin.

"I could get off now," she said, smiling.

"Good."

"Why?"

He smiled roguishly handsome, satisfied with himself. "I made dinner reservations."

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

_Yes, I suck at updating… :\ Blame Uni! My subjects are closely related to death itself. Anyway, I hope you guys are still there, reading. I'm planning on posting updates with words less than my 3k words/chap goal so I could manage posting anyway even if they become short so as to not leave you guys hanging too long. Hope everyone's down with that… :) _

_This is unbetaed so do forgive my errors. It's 4:45 am, sleeping dietary supplement is useless [boo!] and I really just wanted to post something for this week since I'll be busy this weekend and next week, studying. :( _

_**Please leave some love, sugar, and or frustration… xD**_

_**BTW, any suggestions as to where they should/could go? SMUT is inevitable, btw... lol.**_

* * *

_**FIC NEWS:::**_

**_Absence:: _**_The next part will be the one entitled 'Spoiled' and will contain all the fun :D _

_**BW and IP**__C= Less than 5 chapters until COMPLETEd… _

_**NOW **__now has a 3__rd__ installment! :D_

_**HUDDY FTW! :D *wink wink to those who know what I'm talking about, lol***_


	27. Spoiled

_**SMUT WARNING… second part. **__BUT, second part has LOTS of important events so, __**STOP **__when you get to the part which has: Happy birthday, indeed__**. **__;)__** Third part, **__clean._

_**Please excuse my grammatical errors and the like… **Unbetaed. But always feel free to tell me if something is confusing you or nagging at you so I could try to fix it. :) Suggestions are welcome too, if you've forgotten. ;)_

_Bathtub scene idea, credit goes to my bestest biatch, Oc7ober! :D Lol, thanks Soph! *kisses* _

_**ENJOY this while it lasts… next few chapters will be heartbreaking!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 26: SPOILED**_

_**. **_

_**Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, 6 pm**_

"Why do you think Cuddy' wasn't surprised?" Cameron suspiciously asked Chase who was just gathering his belongings and stuffing what he needed in his bag as they both got ready to head out.

"I don't know…" Chase answered slowly in thought, his Australian accent emphasized even more. "Maybe they're seeing each other."

Cameron's eyes widened. "You think?" she asked.

"I don't know, Allison," he replied, "Just seems likely."

"He hasn't been anywhere around here for months. Cuddy only started reeling into her old self when she and Wilson got back from the conference." Cameron has been around House enough to at least notice a few tells in Cuddy's actions.

"Then _maybe _they are together," Chase shrugged.

"You don't care?" she inquired almost incredulously.

"Oh I do," he grinned, "You have no idea how much I've earned from pools I've made about those two." Cameron scowled.

"Want to come?" Chase suddenly invited as he headed towards the door. "Foreman and I will be having a few drinks. No patient, we're free," he added.

"Sure, I'd like to hear what Foreman thinks," Cameron deadpanned as she closed her locker and followed chase out the room.

"Like the guy would have anything to say about it," Chase commented in a chuckle. "He'd probably be a little threatened to think House will be back and be taking his spot again."

Cameron rolled her eyes, walking alongside Chase as they exited the hospital.

_**

* * *

**_

Cuddy's house, 9 pm

Dinner had been wonderful. House brought Cuddy to one of her favorite Italian restaurants in the area. How he managed to get a reservation, she'll never know. Maybe he did it a month or a few weeks ago. They caught up over dinner and dessert.

Now they sat in Cuddy's bath tub, the warm water soothing them both. Cuddy was snuggled in between House's legs, her back against his broad chest, her head against his shoulder. His arms were draped around her slender waist, his fingers lightly tapping against her taut stomach as if playing a melody he knew by heart.

Months without touching being next to her, without getting to touch her… how did he last? He brushed her curls to the other side of her neck, inhaling the scent of her skin. He exhaled a warm breath on her neck, making her shiver despite the warm water. He planted his lips where her shoulder met her neck and nuzzled her there. She tilted her head back and to the side, giving him more space to work on.

One of her hands slid to his leg, running up and down it just so she had something to offer him in return given the limited things she could do. Her other hand slid to his nape, sensually tracing her nails along it and up to thread her fingers through his hair.

A few minutes later he stopped, ending his campaign with a kiss on the soft skin close to her ear. She took hold of his arms and wrapped it around her. It was moments like these that reminded her of how venturing into a relationship with one of the most impossible yet lovable men on earth worth it.

They stayed locked in a comfortable, intimate embrace in her tub, the shade brought by the dimmed lights in her bathroom and the three or four candles lit on the counter serving as a romantic atmosphere for them.

For what felt like eons, Cuddy finally broke the silence. Although she did so with slight hesitance. She'd have rather stayed lost in his arms for as long as possible. But reality kicked in and she had to know, "When does Lexi expect you back?" she asked, sighing as House's hands moved to cup her shoulder blades and started massaging the tension and stress away from her muscles and body.

"Tuesday." House answered, pressing another kiss to her neck as he continued kneading her tired muscles. "Why, want me gone already?" he asked huskily, a grin tugging at his lips.

"Hmm, not really," she replied, smiling. Cuddy turned her head and angled it to meet his lips, kissing him tenderly, her palm resting on his stubbly cheek. "I really missed you," she whispered against his lips.

"I know," House replied, feeling the same way. Then he mischievously grinned, "I was thinking of dumping you for the Blair-witch, at least that's closer and easier."

Cuddy rolled her eyes then after a while she shrugged, "Well, if that's the case, I'll dump you for Wilson."

"You and Wilson would never last," House muttered, "And if you remember correctly, he's had more divorces than anyone you've known. And positives don't attract, you're both needy control freaks. Have I mentioned he's been divorced three times?"

"Not even a minute and you're already jealous." Cuddy smiled sweetly back at him, making him scowl. She shifted in the tub so that she was now kneeling in front of him. She grinned at the pout he had going on before leaning forward and capturing his lips in a gentle kiss. Slowly, unhurriedly, they tasted each other; enjoyed how each other's lips felt against the other once again. Cuddy cupped his cheek with a hand, glancing a second at him kissing her, focused solely on her. She smiled against his lips and let herself get reeled into the sensation of his lips meshing with hers. After what seemed like forever, her lips nibbled on and then tugged at his bottom lip before leaning her forehead on his.

"Yeah, now I remember why I've missed you," House whispered, chuckling when he received a smack on his chest. "Keep that up and you won't be getting any," she threatened, pouting at him.

"I doubt that. What's a birthday without birthday sex?" he retorted, smirking up at her.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him and was about to get off the tub when she was suddenly enveloped in the arms of her lover. She's forgotten that he was a lot quicker than he used to be. Especially so whenever she tried to escape him or his remarks by walking away.

"Let go of me, I'm mad at you!" she shot at him but lacked the needed conviction to convince him. But truth was, she really wasn't. How could she be? Those eyes were slowly morphing into that of a cute puppy dog.

"I'm here for three nights only, why fight?"

Cuddy let out a sigh. "You're an ass."

"What's new?" he asked rhetorically, grinning.

She never would understand how he could be utterly sweet and romantic one minute then be all annoying the next. Sobering, House's face turned serious and fond as he gazed down at her, their eyes connected. "I love you," he told her, the ghost of a smile present in his features.

Cuddy's face softened and the previous banter and bickering was forgotten and forgiven. She loved hearing those three words from him. She gave him one peck on the lips before repositioning herself so she leaned against him again, his arms wrapping around her waist, stroking her gently. She smiled, her head relaxing against his shoulder blade. "I love you, too," she whispered, smile widening as she felt him kiss her temple.

"Happy birthday," he whispered with a kiss on the crook of her neck.

She contentedly sighed as she replied, saying, "Thank you."

_**

* * *

**_Fifteen minutes later they got out of the tub, dried off and got dressed for bed.

"I really had fun today," Cuddy told him sincerely as she got dressed. House was sitting on her bed in his checkered pajama bottoms and a loose black shirt. His eyes tracing her curves, making her feel sexy and undeniably turned on.

"Me too," he answered, wide eyes entranced by her rotund bottom.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him but made her way to him, making sure to sashay her hips. House grinned mischievously at this and moved back, positioning himself in the center of the bed. Cuddy crawled into the bed, straddling House's hips before cupping his cheeks with her soft palms and kissing him, her lips enclosing his softly. His hands settled on her hips as he kissed her back just as tenderly. When they pulled back, Cuddy got off of him and laid beside him, pressed against his chest, him spooning her.

They lay there quietly, wordlessly enjoying each other's presence and warmth. Cuddy couldn't help but think that they'll be like this permanently – hopefully permanently—when he got back from Canada. As much as she liked Lexi, she really didn't want him staying there longer than need be. She was selfish that way, possessive of him.

She sighed contentedly. Whatever stress and tiredness she felt the hours before he, the hospital staff, rather, made his presence known, vanished miraculously.

Back then, before they've gotten together, she would have thought that the mere presence of him revealed other people's worst just by being near. And even though she thought that before, she just couldn't help but be sucked into his orbit. Not that she was complaining _now. _As of that moment, she wouldn't rather be anywhere but beside him, ensconced in his embrace.

Suddenly, she felt him tense a few times before relaxing again, thus telling her that he was struggling internally with something. Either something was just bothering him or he wanted to say something but couldn't quite get to it just yet. She wouldn't push.

Her left hand bridged her chest and reached for his right arm, caressing him encouragingly without words. Her eyes were closed, reveling in the heat emanating from him.

"I was thinking…" he started rather nervously, "when I get back… permanently, I mean…" Her eyes searched his for a tell but she couldn't quite surmise where he was going so she listened, anxious to hear what he had to say or suggest. "If you and I, if we, were to be together, I was wondering if we could get a new house? I mean if you—"

He was cut off by her lips on his—in a split second she was able to turn around and straddle him- and he could feel her smiling into his lips. He smiled against hers as well and kissed her back more passionately, accepting this act of hers as a wholehearted 'yes'. The thought to ask her about it had been nagging at him for weeks now, and finally he was able to ask her about it face to face. He had no idea how things will go for them but he really wanted to be with her. He wanted her to be happy, _he _wanted to be happy.

He knew that it was only with her that he could truly be happy.

He didn't know how he would do as a father. He didn't know if he could really step up on the plate and be one. He didn't think of himself as Father of the Year material, hell he didn't know if he could even be one, remember? The thought was as frightening as it was exciting and intriguing. His mother obviously wouldn't have any complaints regarding having grandchildren, so that was one less insecurity.

Probably the only thing he learnt from his father that was worth applauding was the lesson on how to properly treat women. His father respected his mother very much, loved her very much. His father had never cheated on his mother. That was another lesson. But as much as his father loved his mother, he didn't really love House. Well, that's what he was led to think after all that he's done to him. And he will always have it with him. Scars of the past.

Also, not that House _always _treated Cuddy right. He wouldn't be House if he did. If he did, he'd be boring. And he hated boring. But he does respect Cuddy.

His childhood had made him averse to being a father for his own wasn't that great an example toward him. He didn't want to be his father. That lead him to be adamant on being any child's father figure.

But with Cuddy, he wasn't that adamant. He knew she'd set him straight and help him with this problem of his. He knew she'd be there.

He knew she wouldn't let him be like his father.

He knew nothing about their future but he knew that he'd try to make everything work.

He didn't know how from being the man averse to being a so-called 'family man' he was now willingly, albeit slowly, diving into it. Determinedly—he hoped as hell he wouldn't back out when things got rough. Whatever brought him to this point in his life, though, he was grateful that it was the woman settled atop him that he was experiencing it with. He wouldn't have it any other way.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, House glued their eyes together. Her smile shot through his heart, tugging at his heartstrings, his eyes storing the memory of that smile in his mind. "I'll take that as a 'yes'?" he asked, smirking for the hell of it.

Cuddy laughed, nodding her head, "Yes."

"Good." House smiled, pulling her closer to him. He closed his eyes and relaxed, the feel of her face where his neck met his shoulder relaxing him. The feel of _her _on top of him, reassuring.

Cuddy couldn't believe he just asked her that! What else could her answer be? She then recalled that dream of hers, House, and their child in a house which weren't hers. It was bigger- a lot bigger- than hers. And the interior which she could remember was just beautiful. She smiled as she relaxed into him. Though he wasn't as soft as the teddy bear she teased him as, she knew he was one at heart. Somewhere _very _deep within him.

He really has changed. Not entirely, though—and she guessed that she wouldn't really have fallen in love with him if he wasn't… _him_.

He could still piss her off to an obscenely intolerably high level; still crack jokes about her breasts and ass; bicker and banter with her relentlessly. But hopefully, things stayed the same once he gets back to Princeton Plainsboro. With them being together, it'll be harder to control the professional leash she had on him at work. It would be challenging to find their footing.

Oh but what fun it was to try and, even better, succeed.

She raised her head from the crook of his neck to gaze down at him, smiling serenely. In months, this has been the best day of her life. And probably, dare she say, the best birthday of her adult life.

"Happy birthday?" he asked, peeking up at her. Cuddy chuckled, nodding. Happy birthday, indeed.

Eyes locking onto one another's, cerulean connecting with sapphire, their optical connection spoke of their desire to be one tonight. That's when their lips met with a passionate intensity. Cuddy ran a hand along House's stubbly cheek, moaning into his mouth, as always, at how the prickly hair scratched her palm and her face whenever they kissed. It was a sexy turn on.

One of his hands snaked to the small of her back and back up along her spine, trekking the small bumps from her bones. His other cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking her jaw. He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue against her upper lip. She quickly complied and opened her mouth to him, their tongues meeting tentatively, their pace slowing, accompanying the mood their desire and love were leading them to. Cuddy tasted him, the wine they've had earlier still lingering in his mouth. Lips slid along each other, mouths in perfect synchrony, they kissed the way longtime married couples do.

The tenderness and familiarity quickly morphed into roaring embers of passion when House's hands slid sensually down her sides and back up her shoulders to her neck, changing the pace yet again. Her lips enfolded his tongue sexily before nipping at his upper lip. When they pulled away he stared up at her in a dazed manner, she down at him with a radiant glow and a small smile tugging at her lips.

"Too early to call it a night, don't you think?" she asked seductively, her fingers toying with his hair.

House nodded in agreement before taking her by surprise when he suddenly pinned her beneath him.

"Definitely," he answered with a grin a she chuckled gutturally, her hands on his chest now. He pecked her swiftly while she busied herself with his lips and easing him out of his shirt, wanting to feel his skin on her own.

House lifted his arms over his head and helped her relieve him of his shirt then trailed a barrage of wet kisses from her jaw down to her neck. She encouraged him to keep going by running her hands all over the expanse of his back. He moaned when she scraped her nails enticingly down his back, searching his lips yet again. They met, tongues instantly tangoing together, breaths short but they didn't care. House pulled away only to remove her camisole from her.

As their kisses progressed and intensified, Cuddy started pushing down his pajama bottoms with her feet, moaning into his mouth when he moved his lips to her neck, nibbling and licking at a very erogenous spot there. He pulled away, kneeling in front of her, in between her legs. When he was about to remove her shorts, he was surprised to find out that she hadn't been wearing any underwear. He grinned mischievously. "Hmm, I wouldn't complain if you went commando all the time," he whispered huskily as he pulled her shorts off, the sight of her legs parted in front of him, the sight of her juices starting to flow almost instantly made him hard. She smiled seductively at him, knowing and loving how she had this effect on him. His pupils dilated, his heart beat faster, all blood in his body seemingly moving to a specific destination headed South. The tent in his boxers was visible and she mewled at the sight. She couldn't wait to have him inside her. But as he knelt in front of her, his head lowering to her mound, she instantly knew he had other plans.

Her breath hitched when she felt his nose nuzzle her, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she tilted her head back when he ran his scalding hot tongue along her slit, moaning her approval to the ceiling. He then sought out her clitoris with his tongue, practically setting her on fire when he lapped at it and sucked it into his mouth. She felt him smile into her and all she could do was arch her back, instinctively thrust her hips into his face and fist the bed sheets on either side of her until her knuckles turned white from her lover's ministrations.

"House!" she breathed gutturally when he slid one of his long pianist fingers into her, slowly easing itself into her as he continued his oral ministrations as well.

As he found his rhythm, he worked on it, alternating in licking, nibbling and sucking while his finger slid in and out of her. She was wet and ready but he wanted her to orgasm first. He thought of it as one of his birthday gifts to her. He was, at the moment, intent on pleasing her alone.

It didn't take long for her to reach her climax. When House slipped another finger inside her, scissoring, exploring, and sliding in and out of her in varying speeds, she finally voiced out her pleasure, moaning low and sexy, her hands resting on his shoulders, scraping her nails along any part of him she could reach. House continued his ministrations until she descended from her high.

When her breathing returned to normal, she gazed up at House, drunk with pleasurable sensations enveloping her being. She smiled lazily at him as he crawled up to her. She reached for him, pulling him by his nape to meet her in a fierce kiss that left them breathless yet again. She could taste herself on his mouth, the taste of him mixing with the proof of her passion for him.

"Need you," she whispered, her hands snaking down to push the offending garment which were his boxers down to free his member. She held him in her hands, stroking his already hard erection. She could feel him throbbing, all male and hard in her soft palms. His breath hitched when she ran her thumb on the tip of it. She anchored her legs high around his hips, settling back against her bed's soft pillows before gazing up at him. She stroked him a few more times before finally guiding him inside her. She gasped at the initial penetration, moaning as he slid slowly, taking his time, inch by inch inside her warmth. She fit him like a glove.

House braced himself on his elbows, lowering his pelvis onto hers before he started pulling in and out of her languidly. She sighed breathily, her palms resting on his chest, feeling his heartbeat thudding. "Faster," she whispered on a sigh, reaching up to cup his face and kiss him sloppily on the lips, capturing his lower lip and tugging at it.

House quickly complied, flexing his muscles as he pulled almost entire out then bunched his muscles as he surged into her, making her legs cling onto him. She moaned loudly from the beautiful mixture of pain and pleasure threatening to split her. Her legs tightened around him, her feet creeping down to his ass and pulling him in all the more. She felt that he wasn't close enough. She needed more of him.

As he quickened his pace and strengthened his thrusts, Cuddy clung to him, her arms roaming his back, egging him on with her moans and the marks she was making on his back with her nails. He groaned. She sucked on his neck, lavishing it with kisses and nibbles. She knew she was marking him with a few hickeys here and there but she didn't think he minded at that moment as he was intent on lifting her up on a cloud to nirvana.

"God, House," she moaned when he started hitting and rubbing a certain spot inside of her that had her nerve endings on fire. The familiar tingling had begun and she was almost nearing the edge of another orgasm. House groaned as he felt her walls slowly tightening around him as he continually plowed into her, nearing his own orgasm as well.

When she was about to come House suddenly stilled, making her cry out her frustration into the night. She glanced at him, daggers of sapphire cutting through his cerulean orbs. He wanted to prolong this. And she wasn't going to finish right away. It was ironically comforting to think that he wasn't either. Well, at least neither of them… yet.

House then sat up, pulling out of her. "Why'd you stop?" she whined, panting. She was frustrated. House moved to the headboard of her bed and settled against the pillows so that he was laying back. "I wanted to try something different," he answered, pulling her by the hips to straddle him. She easily followed, craving release.

Maybe he was just thinking of her. They've always had sex in the missionary position. It was rarely that they try other positions. Well, they haven't really had that much sex yet, since they only had a week to themselves during the conference. Maybe they'll have that chance to explore each other fully when he returns permanently.

She smiled at the relief and comfort it gave her that the torturous months of waiting will be ending soon. She leant forward to capture his lips. She kissed him tenderly before positioning herself comfortably above him, her hands braced on his shoulders. House guided himself inside her, feeling her tighter around him now. She gasped, throwing her head back from the feeling. She started to move, rolling her hips, her clit exactly rubbing against his erection as she undulated on top of him. She moaned louder, he threw his head back, hands on her hips as he moaned and thrust up into her. A while later she slowed down, now admitting that she, too, wanted this to last.

She slowed, now only moving atop him back and forth, her forehead on his shoulder. Her breath caught in her throat when she suddenly felt his lips on her nipple, the bud instantly turning taut as he nibbled and sucked on it, one of his hands cupping her other, massaging it. Cuddy moaned loudly, throwing her head back and instinctively pushing her chest forward. She started moving again while House thrust up in sync with her undulating hips. House then moved to her other breast, kissing around the aureole before taking it into his mouth, sucking and nibbling on it.

They were close, so close. House wrapped an arm around her lower back and snaked a hand to her nape, sucking at her neck now. With one swift movement, he had her pinned beneath him yet again. He wasted no time in reentering her and thrusting into the hilt. She cried out loud at the mind blowing pleasure and sting his action had brought to her. Her hands splayed themselves on his buttocks, pulling him more into her, wanting to feel every inch of him going in and out of her until she could no longer bear it.

The volume of her moans and his quiet grunts escalated into a cacophony of pants and moans as they pushed and pulled each other into the mind-numbing abyss of sexual bliss. She moaned her love for him, telling him that she loved him and at the same time telling him to keep going. He replied, telling her that he loved her too. In seconds, the vigor of his thrusts escalated, his pace quickening, and after a few more thrusts from him, Cuddy was mewling, her orgasm crashing over her, making her moan loudly into his ear, causing him to go over the ledge and nosedive into his own explosion. He moaned throatily on the crook of her neck as he pulsed inside her, her velvet walls molten hot around him, milking him for what he had, emptying him of his seed. Cuddy felt his thick semen flow into her in hot generous sprays and she moaned at the feeling, wrapping her legs tighter around his waist, pulling him as deep as she possibly could into her. She didn't want to let go. Not yet.

They panted breathlessly as they continued to rock upon instinct, gently now, against each other. Their tremors and tingles finally settled, their breaths finally calm, House slipped out of her and lowered himself onto his elbows, kissing her on the forehead tenderly, then lazily dragging his lips down the slope of her nose to plant a kiss on the tip of it, then he pecked her lightly on the lips. She smiled at him, eyes finally opening. He laid another peck on her lips, playful now. She smiled wider, pulling his head towards her with her right hand while her other caressed his stubbly cheek. They kissed slowly, unhurriedly until House broke it off, sliding the tip of his nose against hers.

She chuckled and dreamily looked up at him.

"Didn't think birthday sex would be that good," she whispered playfully, running her fingers through his curly damp hair.

"That's because you haven't tried it with me before," he smugly replied, causing her to chuckle. Instead of arguing, she nodded in agreement.

"_Your _birthday is coming up, should we schedule another birthday sex session?" she playfully suggested, smiling up at him.

"Best idea you ever came up with," House murmured against her lips, kissing her again. She laughed.

House settled beside her, pulling the duvet along and covering them both as Cuddy settled spooned against his side, her left leg draped over his.

"Goodnight, House," she whispered, the beating of his heart already hypnotizing her into the arms of Sleep.

"Night, Cuddy," he whispered, burying his nose in her unruly curls, savoring the scent of her shampoo and the mixture of her own scent and the scent acquired from their lovemaking. His hand, soothingly drawing circles on the small of her back, was coaxing her more to a restful sleep.

Minutes later, House drifted off to sleep as well, glad that he was able to make her birthday at least somewhat memorable for her. She deserved it. He smiled, satisfied and content.

_**

* * *

**_

Tuesday, 3 pm, PPTH

Back to being home alone. Cuddy sighed. She saw House off at the airport, kissed and hugged him goodbye. She thanked him and told him they'd be meeting soon. When she got back at the hospital, all eyes on her yet again, she made her way to her office. Grace smiled at her, as always, and greeted her a good afternoon.

"Your new desk is beautiful, Dr. Cuddy," she complimented sincerely.

Cuddy's brows furrowed. "What new desk?" she inquired, confused. She didn't order a new desk.

"A few delivery guys dropped by earlier and took your old desk. I had to remove and reorder files so you wouldn't have to go through the trouble."

Instead of arguing and inquiring about the origin of her supposedly new desk, Cuddy thanked the woman and entered her office. She was awestruck by what she saw.

It was either her eyes were deceiving her _or _it was really her desk from med school that she was seeing at the spot where her old desk used to be. She had left it at her parents' house.

How did…

She smiled sweetly, knowing exactly who got it out and had it refurbished for her.

There was a note at the desk, unopened. Grace probably hadn't laid a hand on it, knowing that it was only for her boss' eyes only.

There really was nothing written on the note other than two words. She's heard it from him already multiple times last night but this time, without him saying it, she smiled even wider, somewhat hearing him greet her all the while smirking at her reaction to his romantic gesture of a gift.

House was spoiling her, big time. And she didn't really care, she was ecstatic. Then again, maybe he had been spoiling her… ever since.

This was, by far, the best meaningful gift she ever received from anybody. And House did it for her. He most probably contacted her mother in order to get it out of storage. He probably hired people to refurbish it and have it delivered to her office. How could she not think of him all the time, now?

She smiled blissfully at the note again.

It simply read:

_Happy Birthday_

_**

* * *

**_

_**A/N: **Finally done with her birthday! Loved the parting gift? *wink*_

_I'm feeling less loved… Lol. *drama queen? Erm, a little… I NEED inspiration and encouragement!* __**  
Please lemme know if you guys are still here… Drop a review or a message, let me know!  
Also, let me know what you think! :D**_

_Finally, I could say, we're moving on… And SURPRISE: I've got what's after this already written in my fic notebook, like, __**MONTHS**__ ago! Lol. xD_

_HUDDY FTW! 16 days to go 'til the Huddy premiere!_

_**

* * *

**_

FIC NEWS:::

_**BW & IPC **__will end before Sept. 20. [Yeah, well, hopefully my sched will allow me to actually comply with my own deadline.]_

_**NOW **__part 4, still in consideration since I didn't actually leave the ending of 3__rd__ part, hanging. _


	28. Julian Smith

_**I just totally had to post this NOW... at 4:15 AM.**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

**_

ABSENCE

_**

* * *

**_

_**CHAPTER 27: JULIAN SMITH**_

_**. **_

They weren't able to celebrate his birthday together. He was whisked off to some seminar and there was no convincing Blair about him not attending. It was too important for the hospital. And it was his job. And sacrifices had to be made. House had to cancel the flight he's booked for New York so he could meet with Cuddy the night before his birthday.

Cuddy couldn't possibly make it out of the hospital. It had been a very hectic month. They spent his birthday video chatting for long hours until his birthday was over. She shot him down whenever he told her to get some sleep but she didn't listen. She wanted to at least, in any way, be there for him during her free time to celebrate his birthday with him.

They ended up Skyping for some hours and House thanked her with a smile. She had showed him a cupcake with a single lit candle for him. She told him that her gift should be arriving sometime soon. Much to his mock disappointment, though, she hadn't sent him something kinky. Cuddy smirked at him then. Although she promised that he'd love her gift for him.

When they finally called it a night and House urged her to get some sleep, Cuddy blew him a kiss over the web cam and told him goodnight.

House smiled. At least he had gotten to spend the remainder of his birthday with her.

He hadn't really been mad at Blair. Just pissed. She did, however, make it up to him by buying him a few drinks while they were at some Ontario club. She apologized for having to force the seminar on him but the board vetoed that he _had_ to come.

Usually he'd escape but Blair had that desperate look when she was trying to talk some sense into him by having him go.

Eventually he had given in, knowing that maybe the board threatened her with her job about it. For some reason that had him pissed. They were really milking his name for the hospital's benefit. He didn't mind anymore, though.

Only a few months left and…

He'd be back to being the one pissing employees off at Princeton-Plainsboro.

_**

* * *

**_

July 5, Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital 1:00 PM

It was terrible.

She felt like a ton of lead had been placed upon her shoulders. All the problems just had to come at the same day. An MRI broke—and miraculously it wasn't House's old team's fault—and her employees were pointing fingers at each other and ass-kissing to get out of trouble.

A nurse gave the wrong dosage to the patient, causing him to have a negative reaction to the medication. The patient was about to sue but thank God she was able to talk him out of suing not only the nurse but the hospital.

The board was up her ass about Dr. House's "unusual" visit and the diagnostics department. Cuddy fought for said department and reminded them that a lot of donations that the hospital had accumulated still came from the department which still continues to successfully solve as many cases as they can per month. One member accused her of having a relationship with House and she professionally snapped, sternly, professionally asking the man, "So what if I am?" and daring him with her steely gaze to answer.

He was silenced.

They had nothing on her. But now, she had to explain how someone had been able to smuggle drugs from the hospital pharmacy. She was tired. And for some reason, calling House wasn't such a good idea at a time like this.

Surely he wouldn't make her feel better and just tell her how she sucks at her job. Well, not really using those words. Maybe some semblance of closeness to what she thought. He really wouldn't hurt her like that.

Or maybe she just wanted to be alone with her own thoughts for the moment.

She made her way to her eerily silent sanctuary. The fire escape. It usually provided her with real silence, no matter how eerie it was. The smallest step she took echoed through the walls and floors. Whenever she thought while seated on one of the steps seemingly amplified even if she were only thinking.

She entered the fire exit and started her usual pacing. She came to an abrupt halt, shocked when a small voice asked her, "Who are you?"

She whirled and looked at a pale kid sitting on the fifth step on the stairs. His emerald green eyes were looking at her curiously, probably a little intrigued from her pacing.

"I'm Dr. Cuddy," she introduced herself. "I'm the Dean of Medicine and Hospital Administrator."

"Hi," he greeted with a small weary smile.

"What are you doing here? Does your parents know you're here?" she asked. How could anybody let a kid run off anywhere he wanted in a hospital? _Her _hospital. She didn't want another problem, say, a lost child running rampant around the hospital. She was sure he wasn't in the age group allowed to visit.

"I was looking for Sister Amy," he said, coughing, covering his mouth with the white handkerchief he had. "Then I got lost… and I felt dizzy again so I went here. There was nowhere else to sit." He said apologetically.

Cuddy frowned. He seemed so frail yet he wasn't a grumpy sick kid. He was actually well-mannered. "Who's Sister Amy? Maybe I can help you find her," she said with a small smile, approaching the kid, slightly forgetting her earlier worries about work. Maybe this Sister Amy was his teacher?

There was something about him that made her feel calm. Or maybe it was just the effect of her 'escape' place making her at ease at that moment despite the things happening. She didn't know. "How about your parents? Did you come with them?"

The kid lowered his head, his shiny brown hair cascading down his face like bangs do. "I don't have parents. Sister Amy's one of the Sisters at the orphanage," he politely answered despite his feelings about having no one really related to him to tuck him in at night, read him bedtime stories, or kiss him goodnight. Those were what he's read in books. He never really experienced having any parents. And nobody would adopt him because he's very sickly. But the past weeks have turned worse and he felt more weak. Only today did the Sisters finally ask the Pastor permission to bring him to a hospital and get him checked out. They honestly thought that he was really just easy to catch infections and illnesses.

Only, Sister Amy told him to stay put for she was only going to ask something from someone she knew at the hospital. But he didn't stay put. He felt like he was going to pass out so he started to search for her. That had been a bad idea. When he finally got _really _dizzy, he decided to find somewhere to sit down. And the steps in the staircase at the Fire Exit was the only place he could think of nearest to him that moment.

"Oh," Cuddy said, an arrow shooting through her heart. She felt for the kid. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said, sitting beside him. She frowned when the heat emanating from him touched her skin. He was too warm.

"I'm Julian, I'm seven years young," the kid suddenly introduced, feeling impolite to not introduce himself, raising his eyes to meet Dr. Cuddy's sapphire ones. He's never seen eyes more beautiful than hers. Ever. He smiled warmly up at her.

"Julian…?" Cuddy prompted with a kind lopsided smile, liking how he smiled and how his eyes shined when he looked up.

"Julian Smith," Julian replied, smile fading. "It was the name on the card that they found on a note my real mom left before she…" Julian lowered his head. Why can't he stop talking? "…before she… gave me away to the orphanage."

Cuddy's heart broke for him. It was one of the many things she'll never truly comprehend: How parents could just give up their children. Surely they had their reasons but still… it was already as if you've killed the child you bore. It was as murderous as… murder. You rip your child's heart away the moment they are old enough to know or find out that they were adopted or given up. You rip their hearts away and trample on it. It was as excruciating as stabbing a knife at any part of your body.

And that was how Julian felt when he was old and smart enough to know that his mother didn't want him. And it hurt even more to see other children come and go but not him. Nobody wanted him. Because he was easy to get sick.

It took a long time to accept that wholeheartedly.

But he didn't blame it on the other kids. It wasn't their fault. He didn't blame his mother. Maybe she had reasons he would never know about. Sister Amy said that one should never blame anybody. And he really didn't want to blame anybody.

"I'm… I don't know what to say," Cuddy whispered, tentatively placing her palm against his back, gasping at the fever he obviously had, almost burning her hand.

"It's okay, Dr. Cuddy, it wasn't your fault," Julian told her reassuringly, giving her a small smile that hurt Cuddy even more.

Cuddy returned the smile, only letting out a small one. "You're a good kid," she whispered, loving his green eyes. They stood out against his pallor.

"Dr. Cuddy, I don't feel so good, can we please find Sister Amy?" Julian spoke, coughing again.

Cuddy stood up, brushing her pencil skirt, finally forgetting about the other things she should be thinking about. Not that they had to be solved in 24 hours… she just wanted things done earlier so she didn't have to worry about them anymore. At the moment, she pushed them aside. She had a kid to help.

"Come on, let's get you to the clinic and I'll have Sister Amy paged," Cuddy said, helping Julian up. But when he finally stood, he swayed, trying to find his balance but a big headache hit him and a dizzy spell caused him to lose his balance.

He almost fell to the ground had Dr. Cuddy not caught him in her arms. He was glad that his body was lanky and light else he would have hurt her if he weighed more.

"Sorry," he apologized in her arms. He wished he didn't have to fall. What if he was actually heavy and put a strain on her?

It struck Cuddy all the more. He was the one sick and he was apologizing for losing his balance? He didn't weigh that heavily. He was only seven. And he seemed light for his age group.

"Don't worry about it, nothing to be sorry about," she told him before she opened the door to the fire escape and called for some people.

"Hey," she said, tapping him on the shoulder. "Julian," she called, "Julian, talk to me," she whispered, patting his cheek lightly. Julian stirred, still dizzy. He took a deep breath and tilted his head to the side, feeling something he shouldn't be feeling.

"Your nose is bleeding," Cuddy whispered when she noticed it. Oh God, she thought. With everything she was seeing she hoped as hell he didn't have what she thought he had.

"Do you know why you're sick?" she asked him. He shook his head.

As the nurses rushed to where the Dean was with the child, Cuddy looked on while she helped. He looked so pale. So frail. A part of her wanted, _had, _to protect him.

Julian passed out a little bit more later, his illness weighing down on him and hauling him to the land of unconsciousness.

Cuddy ran her hand to his sweaty forehead before nodding at the nurses. "Take him to a room. Draw some blood tests. And page Dr. Wilson for me."

Cuddy sighed, looking back at where she sat with the mysterious, kind, emerald-eyed kid. Julian Smith. She loved his name.

It was a weird feeling. She hardly knew him yet in less than an hour of conversing with him, he had unintentionally tugged at her heartstrings already. There really was something about him that was pulling her in. Or maybe it was her hormones talking and her maternal side was kicking in? She didn't know. But she really cared for the kid already, hormones or not.

He didn't know what was wrong with him? Why didn't he? Was this the first time he'd be examined?

Another sigh. "We'll find out soon enough."

And she truly feared what would be found out.

_**

* * *

**_**A/N:** M_ore heartbreak to come… I love Julian, it's hard to do this to him, take note! _

_**Please keep the reviews coming! **_

_**Told you guys I already had this written! :D**_

_**Leave some love and sugar!**_


	29. Life's Worst

_If you see anomalies in my medicine stuff, please don't mind it... I'm neither a doctor nor studying to be one. Unless of course what I wrote is beyond the range of possibility. If so, feel free to point it out! :)_

_**Hope you like it!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 28: LIFE'S WORST**_

_**. **_

"Thank you for finding him," Sister Amy told Cuddy, shaking the doctor's hand. Her hazel eyes were sincere as she spoke softly of her gratefulness. She only left him for a while but maybe he got too impatient or he was feeling something else, causing him to go search for her.

"It was my pleasure," Cuddy replied, glancing at Julian's direction. The results from the tests still haven't been released.

"We didn't think it was really serious until the past few weeks, maybe even the last few months, showed a very big drop in his health," Sister Amy sadly stated. She loved this child and it would be a real heartbreak to lose him if what he had was serious. Everybody back at the orphanage loved him. But nobody wanted him. It was sadly ironic.

"He's been very feverish lately. He complained to me in confidence about his muscles and joints hurting. He's been having recurring headaches and nosebleeds, he was always too pale," Sister Amy sighed, glancing at Julian's sleeping form from outside the room, "He didn't want the others to know. He didn't want them worrying so he went to me. After we talked last night, as I escorted him back to the room he shared with other boys, he suddenly fainted. That same night I went to Pastor Frank's office and asked for permission to have Julian checked out here," she finished, biting her lower lip. Cuddy nodded in understanding as she stored Julian's symptoms in her mind.

"He's a very nice kid," Cuddy said, offering a small smile, remembering how nice Julian had been despite being ill.

A sad smile made its way to the Sister's visage as she nodded in agreement. "He's the best. But his odds at being adopted has always been compromised by his health records. Although I'm terrified to find out that what's making his health deteriorate rapidly is something severe."

Cuddy pursed her lips. That would be very unfortunate indeed. When she was about to speak again she was stopped by her pager beeping. She was being called to the pharmacy. "I'm sorry, but I have something to attend to," she told Sister Amy apologetically.

The Sister nodded, gently shooing her with her hands, saying, "You go. You've been an amazing help, Dr. Cuddy. I pray everything goes well for you. You seem troubled."

Cuddy chuckled before she nodded to the Sister once again and left to tend to some hospital manners.

Later that day, Julian had been released that when the basic tests got back. His attending had said that it was only viral and that it would eventually be gone. He was prescribed some meds and rest.

_**

* * *

**_

July 12, Monday 3 PM

Cuddy was thankful that earlier that day she had been able to have the person responsible for smuggling drugs from the pharmacy to incriminate herself by having a recorder at the ready. Most of the problems had been solved.

She made her way to Wilson's office and asked about the kid she asked him to see but she was irritated when she found out that Wilson passed the kid to another doctor, one who wasn't an oncologist.

"I told you to run some tests," she calmly said, reminding him of her simple favor.

"I had my hands tied, and his fainting could have been due to his fever and dehydration. Check with Brandon," Wilson told her professionally. Just because she was the Dean, it didn't mean he had to check every kid she was concerned with, on a whim. He had a patient in remission and he didn't have the time that day.

_**

* * *

**_

July 14, 9 AM

From a new blood work up done the previous day when Brandon called Sister Amy to do a follow up on Julian, the doctor asked for a second opinion from Wilson, passing the tests and other files when Wilson confirmed that there was indeed, a high possibility of cancer as they compared the last and newest blood work up.

Julian received two blood and platelet transfusions while they ran more tests.

"He has cancer," Wilson told Cuddy when she waved him after he had knocked on her office's door, peeking in for permission to enter.

Cuddy sighed. "How bad?" she asked.

"So far his work ups say it's T-cell ALL," Wilson said. "If we get him started on treatment right away, there's a chance. But we'll have to confirm first. I'm ordering more tests to make it a hundred percent sure."

"What do you mean there's a chance? It's ALL, it's the most common in kids? How bad is it?" Cuddy asked in concern, pushing aside what she had been doing before he walked in.

"You seem to have taken quite an interest in this kid."

"He's a good kid," she shrugged, as if it were enough a reason.

"Does House know?" Wilson asked her. She shook her head. Wilson sighed.

"He doesn't want the chemo," Wilson told her, causing her face to fall.

"What, why?" she asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"He doesn't want to experience the pain," Wilson said gently. Cuddy frowned, sighing as she thought of a way to convince Sister Amy to urge Julian to have the treatments.

Why was she being so involved?

_**

* * *

**_

July 19

Wilson diagnosed Julian with T-Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. He recommended that he be moved to the children's Oncology ward and admitted for further tests to be able to check his status. It was only getting worse but he didn't tell Cuddy that. He didn't even know why she was invested in the kid. That explained the rapid deterioration of Julian's health.

The prognosis was heartbreaking, as it always was with cancer. The orphanage, being a well-known one, had said that they were willing to pay for Julian's treatments but the seven year old wouldn't have it. He said no to treatments.

Sister Amy told Cuddy that Julian said he, "don't want to hurt." He knew it would. And if the doctors said his cancer was that bad, he didn't want to spend what was left of his life in pain because that would already be a constant until his last breath. Well, hopefully not until his last breath. That would hurt, too.

Cuddy couldn't remember the last time she's been so involved in one patient's case. The last must have been one of House's patients. Maybe the last was Emma Sloane. But this was different. A part of her just couldn't accept it. This was one of the things that made life unfair: A lot of innocent people suffer.

Cuddy had talked to Sister Amy about going through with the treatments either way but she wouldn't listen. She respected Julian's decision. She claimed that, "one should never force someone to do what they don't like done unto their own body." As much as she would have insisted, she couldn't. She respected the boy's decisions, as much as his decisions broke her heart. Yes, others would think that a seven year old shouldn't be left to decide for himself but Julian wasn't an ordinary seven year old. He was smarter for his age. He understood things more fully than most kids his age.

But he was still a kid. And Cuddy had the itch to remind him of that. He could take the chemo and treatments to get well. He had a lot of years ahead of him. It was T-cell ALL and it would be hard for Julian's young body, but there was a chance that he could pull through if they started right away. With what she fished from Wilson, it wasn't too far gone yet. But in the hope of treating, there was a risk, too. He could die from the chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or from infections without a hundred percent guarantee at getting better.

She knocked on the door of his room and watched as he smiled. "Dr. Cuddy!" he greeted. He was alone in the room he shared with another kid because they were out playing in the playroom. He just got back because he got tired and he wanted to rest. He liked it when Dr. Cuddy visited. He knew she was busy and he was glad that she could find the time to check up on him. For some reason he knew that wasn't part of her job.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, returning the smile.

"Just a little tired. We played," he replied.

"Julian," she started, walking towards him and sitting close to him on the hospital bed. Julian put his clasped hands on top of his legs and looked up at her, waiting for what she had to say but having the feeling it would be about his sickness since her tone was a little serious. "I really think you should try and have the treatments," Cuddy said, her voice professional yet with an undertone of concern and motherliness.

"No!" he exclaimed in a soft, scared voice. He didn't like pain. Not one bit. And the other kids told him that it hurt _real _bad. It wasn't about losing his hair. It was about the pain. The other kids who were having different treatments were still in pain. What difference would it make?

Cuddy pursed her lips, noticing how much he didn't want to experience the pain of chemo and the like. "I know… that it will hurt. But don't you want to get better?" she asked him.

"The other kids are having them but they're no better, they still hurt," Julian said, telling Dr. Cuddy his observations with a pained frown on his face. He felt bad for the other kids, too. But he knew his case was worse than some of them.

"It takes time, Julian," Cuddy explained. "Everything takes time."

"Sometimes it just don't," Julian sadly stated, remembering something he'd rather just forget.

"There's a chance, Julian, even if what you have is acute. It's a small chance but a chance no less," she told him, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

"No," Julian shook his head, looking at Cuddy with glistening emerald eyes. "No," he whispered, looking away and lowering his head.

"Tell me why," Cuddy softly spoke, cupping his chin and making him meet her gaze. "Sister Amy is very heartbroken that you choose not to have the treatments, I'm sure your other friends back at the orphanage will be, too," she said, letting go when she knew he wouldn't look away again.

"No," Julian answered. He didn't know doctor Cuddy as much as he knew Sister Amy. He couldn't really trust her too much. His emerald green eyes were starting to mist up and Cuddy hated to see his fear of pain.

"Well, then I guess I won't be able to help you," Dr. Cuddy said in a soft voice. She gave Julian's shoulder a gentle squeeze as if to tell him she wasn't angry or anything, just trying to understand.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled under his breath.

"Go get some rest, you must be tired," Cuddy said, offering a small smile before she left and headed to Wilson's office.

"I can't believe how a seven year old could have his mind easily made up," she said, pacing inside the oncologist's office.

"Why, House, nice of you to drop by," Wilson deadpanned as he signed a sheet of paperwork. He then glanced up to see the glare she sent his way.

"Wilson, I'm serious," she said, sitting down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"Cuddy, he's a kid," Wilson stated and she looked at him with an expression that said 'duh'. "But he's smart. Upon your insistence I did all the tests myself. He's smart, he knows what he wants and what he doesn't. But underneath it all, he's _still _a kid, and he's scared," he finished, furrowing his brows.

"Why are you so concerned, anyway? We get a lot of sick kids, what makes him so special?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know, Wilson," Cuddy admitted, looking at him. "I just… I don't know, there's something about him," she finished lamely.

"Oh no… don't do this, you'll just get hurt. I'll bet you a hundred House would say the same," he added, seriously warning her about the implications of her caring too much for this kid could have on her.

"I have to finish something," Cuddy spoke, excusing herself. She nodded at Wilson before she exited the office.

Wilson sighed. He hoped as hell the kid would give in and have the treatments. Maybe he should convince him more. He frowned again as he thought of Cuddy.

She was going to get her heart crushed.

Julian's Leukemia was worse than he let on. How could he tell her that now?

He knew she'd kill him if he did what he was thinking of doing next but he had to do it. House would be the only one who could knock some sense into her. She had to keep her distance from Julian if it could be helped.

He just hoped he wasn't too late.

_**

* * *

**_

July 20, 10 PM

"You better stop before you get hurt," House warned Cuddy when she answered her phone.

"Oh hello, great to get to talk to you, too!" Cuddy deadpanned when she was assaulted by the blunt warning.

"Cuddy," House stated seriously. "You shouldn't—"

"Wilson already lectured me, thank you. Now if you want to berate me on—"

"I'm not berating you. I'm just warning you for your own good," House cut her off as well.

"Well, you can't stop me from caring," she defensively told him over the phone.

"I'm not telling you to stop. I'm asking you to keep your distance," House replied, his tone irritated that she seemingly wasn't getting his point. "Stop acting like his mother and—"

"I'm not—"

House cut her off again. This conversation was starting to turn into an argument and she hated it. So did he. "You care _too_ much about a kid you knew less than a month, what does that say? And not according to Wilson, you aren't."

"So you'll believe Wilson's words over mine?" she asked, her tone rising.

"In this matter, yes! Since, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not there!" House replied, his voice turning annoyed and sarcastic.

"Well, that's not my fault, now, was it?" she retorted. "I'm tired. If we're going to keep arguing about my caring about a kid, we might as well hang up," she stated.

"You're mad," he knowingly stated.

"Yes, I am!" she replied, frustrated.

"Why?"

"Because!" She sighed, rubbing a hand across her tired face. "Because instead of supporting me, you're going against me! You and Wilson."

"That's not an objective argument," he told her in a grave voice.

"It wasn't meant to be. I care about Julian, House. Wilson may not care that much, you may not, but I do. I just wish you would accept that fact,"' she said, her voice tired and quiet.

"Wilson cares, but he knows where he stands. You need to know your feet should be behind your desk, not a few feet close to a kid you barely know," House told her.

"You're going to end up hurt. He could die soon," he added, the tone of his voice, gruff.

"He has a chance if he starts with the treatment soon enough," she stated, relating the facts Wilson had told her.

"What if he dies?"

"He won't if he just agrees to the treatment," Cuddy defended.

"You sound so sure, Cuddy. He's a kid, those meds wouldn't take it easy on him," House reminded her, already knowing she wasn't being a doctor. She wasn't thinking objectively. "You know his treatments could kill him faster than his ALL could." She was too far gone when it came to caring for this kid, House worried. What was so damned special about the brat?

"What happens then, Cuddy, when he gets better? You gonna lose interest and be done with it? You gonna adopt him?" House asked, challenging her true feelings.

"What if I do?" she challenged back, implying 'what then?'.

"Cuddy, don't you think you just feel bad for this kid?" He deflected, not knowing the answer to her question.

"It's not pity," she negated. "And couldn't I just like him and want to help him? He's a nice kid," she told him, wanting, _needing, _him to understand her plight.

"Not you, Cuddy," House honestly told her. He heard her sigh on the other end of the line. "Okay, he's nice, he's a good kid. But you can't get involved, as I've said, you barely know this kid," he told her again, wanting her to understand his point. She didn't reply, knowing she was already teetering on the edge of being mad at him even more.

"Wilson took it easy on you. The kid's worse off than he let on," House whispered, knowing that she'll be taking her anger out on Wilson the next time she came across him or hunted him down herself.

He heard her sigh deeply on the other end, making rub his face. She wasn't going to listen. He just knew it. At that moment, he just knew that she was deliberating the thought of hanging up on him already. He hoped she was just calming herself. She was too quiet.

"I'm tired," she finally deflected, hating that she wanted to hang up just because he cared about how this could affect her if something bad happens. "I'll talk to you soon. Goodnight, House," she whispered before hanging up on him without even waiting for him to reply. She hated herself for it.

House sighed on the other end, dropping his cell on the space beside him. He folded his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling, contemplating.

No way in hell was she not going to get hurt.

She was, yet again, going to learn things the hard way.

But this was one of the things he loved about her: how passionate she was about something she was engaged in or cared for. It may border on the risky and insane at times, but she didn't care. She would support what she believed in every step of the way.

Although sometimes, he hated that she never knew when to stop to protect herself.

He guessed he just better be ready to stop himself from telling her 'I told you so.'"


	30. Julian's Wish

_**A/N: **__Hear ye, hear ye! I'm back! It's semestral break so yes, I FINALLY have time to write more often! :D  
__**This is just a mini-chapter**__ to announce my comeback! :D _

_Unbetaed because I REALLY wanted it posted... at 3:40 AM. Lol. ;) _

_**Enjoy the Cuddy/Julian! :D**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 29: JULIAN'S WISH**_

_**. **_

_**August 20, 6 PM**_

"You're really pretty, Dr. Cuddy," Julian complimented with an angelic smile that contrasted the gloomy aura of his deteriorating state.

It's been a month since he'd agreed to having chemotherapy and was trying hard not to give in to the pain. Yesterday's round was the most brutal yet. They had to stop the round because his body just couldn't tolerate the increase. His hair has been falling out slowly, his skin was pale. But he had to fight this. Many people loved him. But every time he had to take the chemo or some other test, he couldn't help but wonder how far he could go.

Cuddy bit her lip at this child's sweet laurel. His dull yet entrancing emerald green eyes were filled with so much honesty and innocence that could have melted the stone-cold heart of a person. It was unbelievable how his mother had the heart to leave him in an orphanage at such a young age. Maybe she had her reasons, Cuddy thought, but still, it was incomprehensible how a mother could bear do this to her own flesh and blood. How _many_ mothers could do these things to their offspring.

Julian had the body of a normal seven year old. His nose was slender, lips pale from the sickness that would, hopefully not, claim his life, but his eyes and his smile and his deep dimples were that of a fallen baby angel. If he were healthy and able to be treated she would have deliberated fostering him. He deserved so much better than this and the orphanage.

But the sad truth is that he was dying. And there was nothing and nobody, not even Wilson nor House could do about it. There would have been hope if he had been check out a whole lot earlier. But the orphanage had to wait for his condition to be really critical until they took action.

Pushing those thoughts to the back of her head, she focused on the extraordinary boy in front of her. "Thank you," she replied with a misty-eyed smile.

They sat there in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Cuddy had been visiting him whenever she was free, due to lack of things to do and the intention to get to know him more because she really seemed to have taken a fondness for him since they met at the fire escape.

Cuddy was pulled from her thoughts when Julian spoke. "Dr. Cuddy…?" he called her attention, hesitant to continue, left it as a question until she looked at him again.

"Yes?"

"Do you have kids?" he nervously inquired, cutely fiddling with the edge of his blanket. Cuddy's eyes softened at his hesitancy and stood from her spot on the chair to sit on the bed, facing him. "No, honey, I don't," she softly answered. Julian looked up at her with surprised orbs. "Oh," he said quietly. But she's so cool, Julian thought.

"You'll be a great mommy," he shyly told her with a smile.

"Could this kid get any sweeter?" Cuddy thought to herself as she returned Julian's smile, chuckling.

Upon seeing the beautiful woman, one of his friends now, Julian grinned. She would really be a really cool mommy. He really wished he had met her sooner. He wished he had a mommy but his real mommy left him. He should be mad, he should feel really bad, but he wasn't. He didn't even know his mommy at all, so why be mad? Maybe he was allowed to feel abandoned at times and envious of those who had either a mommy or daddy or both so sometimes he allowed himself to feel that way. At least he knew that he was _feeling _something at all. He once asked Sister Amy if it was bad to feel that way, she told him that it wasn't, that it was okay to feel that way as long as he knew in his heart that there are people who loved him truly like family.

But unlike the a few of kids at the orphanage, wouldn't get his point sometimes. They felt mad about not having a daddy or mommy, some of them wished they'd stay at the orphanage forever because they felt scared that their new mommy and daddy would leave them again.

Julian's thoughts were cut short when a fit of coughs suddenly attacked him. Dr. Cuddy instantly helped him, gently patting his back. When his coughing fit had finished, she poured him a glass of water, smiling sympathetically at him and asking him if he was okay.

For some reason yet unbeknownst to him, her simple caring and mothering acts made him burst into tears. He was never taken care of like this. Of course there were those women and Sisters from the orphanage but this was different. Dr. Cuddy didn't really have to take care of him, it wasn't really part of her job, and she didn't really know him that well but here she was, taking care of him. And he could say he loved her already for just being there.

He knew that there was a big chance that he would die soon if they keep cutting short his treatments because he couldn't take them in anymore. Dr. House—he thought this man was scary despite Dr. Cuddy saying he isn't—and Dr. Wilson tried to find other alternatives but there was none.

He then thought… what would happen if he died? Well, for one, he was nobody. But that wasn't what he was thinking about. He thought of heaven and hell—the stuff they teach at the orphanage whenever they weren't eating, playing, studying or sleeping. Were those things really real? The pastor and nuns and Sisters said so. He didn't want to go to hell. It seemed like a really bad and scary place. But did heaven really exist? And if it did exist just as the pastor and the nuns and Sisters said so, was it really full of good people and angels?

Julian wiped ate his eyes and his face, removing the tears and its tracks. Instead of ignoring the woman in front of him by drowning himself in a private contemplation, he looked to Dr. Cuddy and suddenly asked her, "Dr. Cuddy, do you believe in heaven and hell?"

Cuddy was caught off guard by the question. She stared at him for a while before choosing and settling with her answer. "Yes, I think I do," she told him, pained a bit by a kid thinking about his death. She pursed her lips, confused as to what brought about this question.

"I think I'm looking at one, right now," Cuddy commented, ruffling his hair playfully with a grin. Unfortunately, she pouted when the only thing she received was a small smile before his face turned serious and he looked down at the blanket.

"You think… when…" Julian couldn't finish his question because he went silent and kept his eyes down, tears once again staining his cheeks. Why was he alone in this place? Why couldn't Sister Amy or any other Sister come earlier? Where were his friends?

"Oh Julian, shh," Cuddy softly spoke, gathering the trembling boy into her arms, being mindful of all the wires. She stroked his back, running her hands through his hair and head.

Dr. Cuddy was the only one here for him. He wondered, that maybe… possibly, hopefully, he'd be able to know someone as a parent of his before God brought him where heaven or hell were. So finally, he gathered his guts and asked her, reluctantly, "Dr. Cuddy…?"

Cuddy pulled away from their hug, setting her hands on her sides. "Yeah?"

"Could I…" his reluctance showed and Cuddy thought to encourage him to ask his question with a small reassuring smile so he continued."… please call you mommy?"

Cuddy just looked at him for a while, processing. Julian started fidgeting uncomfortable, feeling that he asked an inappropriate question. He mumbled shyly, "It's okay if you don't-"

He was cutoff when Dr. Cuddy suddenly agreed, answering him with, "It's okay, Sweetheart." She cupped his cheek, pursing her lips as she took in his features. She softly smiled at him and lifted his chin up a bit so their eyes could meet. "It's okay," she repeated, wanting him to be happy at least… if things went South. She smiled fondly at him as his beautiful emerald orbs sparkled up at her, hope and life radiating in the smallest yet visible sparks in those tantalizing green eyes. "Really?" he asked her, wanting to make sure he heard right and wasn't dreaming.

Cuddy maintained the sincere smile and nodded. She could give him a mommy. She didn't have the heart to refuse him. Who could resist those eyes, his kindness and cuteness, and those laurels? She could at least make him feel loved, that he at least had some semblance of a family before he was taken away from this world—hopefully not soon.

Slowly, shyly, Julian gave a full-blown smile before Cuddy hugged him again, wanting him to know that she meant it sincerely and not because she pitied him. "Thank you, Dr. Cuddy," he whispered, smiling against her neck. She smelled really good, and her embrace was really comforting and soothing. "I never had a mommy before," he whispered somberly. He never felt how other children who had mommies, felt. Being in Dr. Cuddy's arms, he felt really safe.

So that was how it felt.

He knew it wasn't real, but he was allowed to feel security in his faux mommy's arms, even just for a while. He reveled in the feeling. She really was gonna be an amazing mommy. Too bad she couldn't have been his, now or biologically from the beginning. But life didn't work that way. Now, he was just really thankful he got to know her.

Cuddy successfully fought the tears that were threatening to fall, blinking them away. "I thought you wanted to call me 'mommy'?" she asked, chuckling at his polite address.

Julian chuckled in return. "I never called anybody 'mommy' before," he sniffled. "Thank you, Dr. Cuddy," he said, causing Cuddy to chuckle once more. A second later they burst into quiet laughter, Cuddy rubbing his back soothingly, making Julian sigh in contentment.

"Mommy…"

_****_

_**

* * *

**_

A/N:

_Hope you guys liked it! :D _

_**Review me if you want MOAR and are still there! :D **_


	31. Hands to Heaven

_**A/N: **__Julian's thoughts are meant to be slightly wrong in the grammatical and syntactical sense. He's only seven! Couldn't have him thinking VERY intelligently and mastering the English language, now, could I? ;)_

_**PLEASE don't forget to leave a review for the muse! Remember, good and or bad(yet constructive!) words keep my mind and muse working for your benefit! :D **_

_**This wasn't the easiest chapter to write!**_

_**I hope you love it!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 30: HANDS TO HEAVEN**_

_**.**_

_**A week later**_

"How are you doing?"House asked her over the phone. He knew she'd been having a very tiring week but wanted to ask anyway. "Good. Just tired. The hospital would crumble without me," she muttered, flinching at the memory of all the fires she had to put out. "Narcissist!" House exclaimed playfully, knowing that she was right. Plainsboro would definitely crumble without her. Cuddy, know

"Kid still calling you his mother?" House asked, smirking.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "He alternates between 'Dr. Cuddy' and 'mommy'," she told him anyway. She shouldn't have told her annoying but beloved boyfriend that she allowed Julian to call her his mother. "Why, jealous?" she asked, smirking, knowing how he liked calling her 'mom'—usually when whining— at times. "Nope!" House nonchalantly answered, voice pitchy.

"How is he?" he suddenly asked, serious, playing with the tennis ball he snatched from one of his ducklings. He knew that Cuddy's mind was made up about the kid. He didn't see any point in going against her. They didn't talk for three days the first time he called her about Julian. But as he thought things through, despite him knowing he was right and that she was most certainly going to get hurt in the end, he had to be supportive because he knew this couldn't be easy for her. So two days later he took down his pride and guard, and started a conversation about the kid. That was about three weeks ago. He had her tell him what got her fond of the kid, how he was like. For the most part, she could sense that he wasn't all that intrigued but as every story she tells about him unfolded, he could clearly understand why she was so pulled to this kid's orbit.

Cuddy smiled, comforted that he was trying to calm her by giving her someone to talk to. But her smile faded as soon as her thoughts went back to Julian. She ran a palm through her hair and sighed. "That bad, huh?" she heard him say and she gave a bitter chuckle. "Yeah," she sighed again. "He's severely neutropenic, his ANC is at 8…"

"That _is _bad," House mumbled, thinking to himself. He once called Wilson and tried to discuss the alternatives—not without Wilson fishing for his motives, though- for Julian's case but there weren't any.

"His body couldn't handle increased dosages anymore, Wilson keeps giving him reduced dosages. He's deteriorating quickly."

Silence.

"What do you think we should do?" she asked him, her voice desperate.

House was quiet for a while. He had to break it to her, and even if he wasn't an oncologist, he could already see the odds of this. And they weren't good at all. "I think you should tell the orphanage. And I think you should prepare yourself, Cuddy. I can't be there for you, physically, when something happens to him soon," he honestly told her.

"Okay," she acquiesced. It was painful to see someone you cared about, die. She may be a doctor and used to death hovering just behind the corner, but it wasn't really a good sight to see.

"I'm sorry," House whispered, wishing he could hold her.

Cuddy let out a small smile. "It's not your fault…" she told him softly, burying herself under the covers of her bed. "I wish I had your view right now," she whispered, missing the calmness wafting over the waters she could view from his balcony.

"Feel free to jump on a plane and sex me up," House joked, chuckling as he heard her laugh, imagining her smile with her cheek pressed against her soft pillows.

"I can't," she sadly whispered. "The hospital, J—"

"The kid. I get it," House acceptingly finished for her.

"Yeah," she breathed.

"I'll see you soon," he promised.

"How soon?" Cuddy smiled, the thought of them permanently being together when he got back a light through the darkness wrapping around a part of her because of Julian's illness.

"A month or so, soon?" House said. "Supposedly just after a few weeks since my contract's up. I just have to finish some paperwork and I'll be good to go," he told her, anxious to be with her already. Not just because of the great sex, he mischievously thought.

"I want you here, now," she whined, pouting before a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

On the other end, House smirked, propping his legs on the center table. "Funny, that sounded almost sexual," he teased, bobbing his eyebrows suggestively even if she couldn't see.

"Ha-ha," Cuddy commented dryly, grinning, though.

"Can't wait to see you," he admitted, eyes focused on the ceiling as he laid back on the couch.

"Me too, House, me too," Cuddy said, wishing he could be with her at that moment.

"Get some sleep, you have to be up early," she told him, remembering the meeting he had in the morning.

"Subtle," House teased.

"I'm not trying to get rid of you," she defended softly, smiling with her eyes closed. "I just so happen know you're a deep sleeper _when_ you have something important to get to," she chuckled.

"Ah," House said, grinning. "Really? I never noticed that," he innocently claimed.

"Nice try, Sherlock," she said firmly, "Now get, and don't think I don't know you'd still stay up despite me asking you to snooze early. You're going to that meeting tomorrow morning. I wouldn't want your ass to be delayed from coming back to me early just because of something you did," she chastised, voice firm yet a little playful.

House smirked, mimicking her mutely. And for her benefit, he agreed, saying, "Yes, Mistress."

"You're lying," she knowingly said.

"You know me too well," House whined. "No fair."

"You're stalling," she said. "It's already 2 in the morning, there, get some sleep."

"Fine," House pouted, acquiescing.

"Good," she said.

"Night, Cuddy," he greeted softly.

"Night, House," she replied, hanging up with a smile on her face.

_**

* * *

**_

Aug. 29, 5 PM

Julian Smith had lost hope. The life and energy have been slowly sucked from his system. He couldn't even remember why he accepted taking the treatments. Why had he agreed? Why did he give into his friends, the pastor, the nuns and Sisters, and Dr. Cuddy's request that he get better? Why did he believe them when he said this would make him feel better?

Well, Dr. Cuddy didn't say this would make him feel better. She told him that it would really hurt. But that he would feel better once his cancer cells die—but he honestly believed they weren't dying. He felt as if the cancer cells Dr. Cuddy and Dr. Wilson have been talking about are partying inside him.

Once he told them to stop making him sick. He told them that they were wrong about him not getting better. Once, he fought.

But now, he and his body felt like just giving up, giving into the cancer.

He wanted _so _much to prove them wrong but he didn't have the strength anymore. He didn't know why these cancer cells were so mean. Why would they ask for pain and lives in return? He wanted to cry, he wanted to be mad—he rarely got mad. He doesn't know what to feel anymore. Maybe it was the cancer talking, he didn't know.

He felt so hopeless, so lifeless.

Julian stared out the window, melancholy. His room was too clean that he fantasized about getting very dirty out in the private park of the orphanage like he used to. He missed his friends, he even missed that nun who always got irritated at him being too quiet and polite.

He sat there, staring at the clouds, thinking of shapes he could make out from the clouds, outlining them with his fingers, his free arm lifting from the bed, the one with the IV slowly joining his small game. But before he could start thinking of shapes, he imagined touching the clouds, imagining them feeling like cotton or cotton candy but not colored. "Is that how heaven would feel like?" he asked himself, curious. If yes, then right now, at that moment, he felt as if he already had his hands up to and on heaven and feeling its softness, the feeling of welcome it brings.

When his thoughts about heaven stopped, he went back to the task at hand: creating shapes from his heaven-made cotton candy. He was able to make out a fish, a cat's head, and some other more before Dr. Cuddy knocked at his room's glass door. She was smiling and that made his day a less badder than he thought it was. Was badder a word? Whatever, Julian thought with a small smile creeping up his face. Dr. Cuddy was draped with a yellow thingy and she was wearing what seemed to be a shower cap. All he could recognize in a medical manner was the mask.

He must really be that sick.

He sighed but pushed away the sadness as Dr. Cuddy entered the room.

"Hey," Dr. Cuddy greeted him with a warm smile, sitting on the side of his bed and patting his good leg. His other had an infection and he was on antibiotics for it. Dr. Wilson and his pediatric oncologist had been glad and thankful that he didn't obtain a clot in his leg.

"Hi, Dr. Cud—err, mommy," he greeted as mischievously as he could, grinning at her as much as his strength allowed.

"How are you feeling today?" Cuddy asked, smoothing the sheets of Julian's bed.

"I wanna go out…" his smile fell and he pouted, sulking. Cuddy couldn't blame him. If she were in his shoes she'd have been ripping her hair from her head by now. She frowned empathically at him, running her fingers along his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Julian, but you can't. Your body is too weak," she explained, "The healthy things in your body that fight bad things isn't doing their job very well at the moment. You have to stay here until Dr. Wilson or Dr. Brandon thinks you're good to go," she finished, her heart shattering as Julian just nodded in pained acceptance.

"Can I please have a hug?" Julian said, pouting up at her, his eyes obviously sad and alone.

And she thought House was the only one who could melt her into a puddle with his puppy dog eyes. "Of course," she answered with a sweet smile, carefully pulling him forward, resting his head carefully on her gown-covered chest.

"Will it hurt?" she heard him mumble, frightened, against her chest, a moment later.

Cuddy noticed that he was a lot paler today. She knew what he was asking, knew what he meant. But she didn't know the answer to that. She didn't want to give assurances that he'd leave this world peacefully or in pain. She wished he didn't have to leave at all. But her wishes didn't matter. But she did pray that by some stroke of luck, Julian would get better and recover from all this.

What will be, will be.

She opted to tell him the truth, saying, "I don't know." She pursed her lips and swallowed the nonexistent lump forming in her throat. "I don't know, Julian, I'm sorry," she honestly whispered, running her fingers along his back.

"I'm scared," Julian whispered, trembling, causing Cuddy to close her eyes in defeat. She couldn't stand it. A tear fell from her eye and she tried to stop the others which were slowly following suit.

"I know," she whispered helplessly, just holding him, being there for him when nobody else couldn't. She felt useless for she couldn't give him any reassurances—wouldn't give him reassurances, for there weren't any.

"I'm gonna miss you, Dr. Cuddy," Julian whispered, sniffing. "Thank you very much for everything."

"Now, it's too early for words like that," she softly scolded. "But I'll miss you, too, Julian," she honestly told him. "And you're welcome, very much, for everything," she added, smiling a little.

"Do you want me to say 'hi' to anyone for you? In heaven, I mean," he asked bravely, acceptance slowly seeping into his small being. He'd just really been going through the motions, what he heard the other kids talking about. What where they—stages. He pulled away from their embrace. Cuddy helped him lay down as she thought of an answer, smoothing the blanket over his frail frame.

Cuddy couldn't believe his courage. She was proud of this kid and she certainly wouldn't forget him. "Say hi to my dad for me," she said, smiling a bit. Julian nodded his head, "Okay."

A knock was heard on their door and a nurse quickly peeked her head in, cap and mask on. "Dr. Cuddy," she called out in a whisper. "I'm sorry to interrupt but a donor, Mr. Strauss, is waiting for you in your office." Cuddy gave a short nod and the nurse went on her way.

Julian saw Dr. Cuddy's face fall when she was told that she had to leave. His heart fluttered as this proved—not that he needed any more proof—that she really cared genuinely for him even if she had only know him for less than a handful of weeks. At least he knew that someone else, besides the people he loved back at the orphanage, would remember him if and or when he left this world.

He still really wished God would invite him to heaven. Hell was just _really _scary to imagine.

"I'm sorry, Julian, but I—"

Julian gave her a reassuring smile as he cut her off. "It's okay, work is more important," he told her.

"You have me paged, if you need me, okay?" Julian nodded despite knowing that he wouldn't have her paged. He wouldn't want to trouble her. Her work was really as busy as she told him during one of their conversations. And he knew Dr. Cuddy was very important to this hospital. He didn't want to be in the way.

Cuddy glanced one more time at her little friend before finally making her way to Strauss. The man had always been generous, kind, decent and non-perverted, but his timing on visits for meetings was always off. Cuddy sighed as she entered her office, once again ready for a long update on how Mr. Strauss' generous money was and is being used and distributed for various causes.

Work, work, work.

_**

* * *

**_

October 8, 10 PM

"I've got a date set," House informed her with a smile.

"A date?" Cuddy asked, curious.

"On when I get back," he clarified.

"Oh," she said.

"Oh? I was hoping for more enthusiasm. You're distracted," he knowingly stated. "What's up? Kid getting worse?"

"Yeah," Cuddy said, rubbing her face with her palm, not really hungry for dinner. "I'm sorry, I know I should be—"

"It's okay," House said.

"House, I really am excited to see you, you know that, right?" she asked, hoping he wasn't upset with her thinking more about Julian these days.

"Yeah. Don't say I didn't warn you about getting hurt if he says goodbye soon," House mumbled.

"No 'I told you so', please." House nodded, then remembering she couldn't actually see his nod, said, "Okay."

"I love you," Cuddy whispered as amorously as she could, wishing she could make it up to him soon.

"I love you, too," he replied, forgiving her already.

_**

* * *

**_

October 12, 9 PM

It was dark. He was alone. His room was slightly lit, the smell of antiseptic and the feel of the usual wind and cold touching him, his only companies.

This day's round of chemo had been the worst so far. And he was left feeling absolutely weak that he could barely talk to anybody. He was once again on antibiotics for a new infection he had caught. "You guys are bullies," he told the infections he had.

"Hey," he suddenly heard someone call out from the door. He tried to turn his head but the rails on the side of his bed got in the way. His bed wasn't at all propped up for him to see who was at the door. But he guessed it was Sister Amy.

"I'm sorry it took so late for me to visit, tonight," she apologized as she stood on his side of the bed, her face almost angelic from the shade. "I had so many things to do," she continued, "Sister Fran needed help with some things and there were so many… naughty boys to teach," she chuckled, running her soft, warm hand along his cheek. "I really miss having you tell them to behave, Julian," she smiled down at him. "You better fight, Angel, fight and pray," he could hear the slightest crack of her voice, "and you'll be better."

Julian only nodded, offering the best of smiles he could. Sister Amy bent forward and kissed his forehead and he felt one of her tears land on his cheek. He hated himself for making her cry. He never saw Sister Amy cry.

"How about we pray together tonight, Julian? What do you say?" she encouraged softly, a smile amidst her sad face. "You know God loves listening to everyone, right? Especially children."

"Okay," he croaked, missing talking to God already.

Sister Amy took a rosary from her pocket, Julian's favorite crystal clear, emerald-colored rosary. Sister Amy smiled down at it as she gently wrapped it around his hand, letting him hold it and if he was able, go along the rosary as they prayed.

Sister Amy sat on the edge of his bed, choosing to be closer to her dear friend and student as she started their prayers.

Julian tried as best as he can to go along audibly, but when it came to the Second Mystery for that specific day, he apologized to God and to Sister Amy for just mouthing his prayers.

When they finished praying the rosary, Sister Amy sat down on the lounge chair two feet away from him, reading her Bible. She was really focused so he didn't bother interrupting her reading to converse. After all, he already had a hard time talking.

He took a deep breath, released it, and then closed his eyes, clutching his rosary tightly.

Julian thought of all the people he loved, thought of all the people, friends and teachers, he cared about. He thought of Ken, Tricia, Hazel, Matt, Irene, Kyle, Lex, and their orphanage's dog, Wizard. He prayed for all the people he loved and cared for and cherished and he wholeheartedly forgave all those who teased him and sometimes picked on him. He prayed for the nurses who came into his room with soft smiles on their faces and for those who talked to him when he was alone during the day.

Julian thought of why he was doing this right now but he couldn't think of a reason, he just suddenly went on doing it, with tears in his eyes. He felt as if he was, as he heard the pastor say time and time again, "Surrendering yourself to Him."

He prayed for Dr. Wilson and Dr. Brandon, asking God if He could be so kind as to help them heal more patients and give them more hope and make their families happy.

He asked God if He could "please stop giving this bad, bad cancer to kids and to anybody else," because it was really hurtful and he thought God doesn't want people to get hurt.

He prayed for Dr. Cuddy, telling God, "she's a really cool person and she took care of me and became my friend even if she had many things to do and didn't really have to. She will make a really good mommy. Please let her have her own baby. Don't tell her I told You but, she said she has troubles making babies. Maybe You could help her? Maybe a girl because I always wanted to take care of a baby sister." He paused mid-thought, staring at the ceiling, looking at Sister Amy for a while and then shaking his head. He closed his eyes again and continued talking to God, hoping He was listening to him being so talkative, "Wait, not that God, that was mean. Please let her have whatever baby she wants. Please let her and doctor House be happy because Dr. House sounds really scary. But maybe he's just scary to other people."

"I promise to look after him or her, God," he vowed, if something happened to him, once and if he was in heaven, he'll look after Dr. Cuddy's baby as he would his own sibling.

He also prayed for the woman who he knew loved him beyond compare. The woman sitting in the uncomfortable chair, reading, two feet away from him. Sister Amy. She's done so many awesome and cool things for him. She was always his best friend. She was always patient with his talkativeness and when he was naughty. He could always tell her his secrets.

"Please, God, please always let her be happy. You know she loves You thiiiiiiiis much, right?" he imagined stretching his arms as far as they could go, hoping God could see that thought of his. "Please always take care of her because I can't do that anymore if I get to come with You there soon."

"Oh and please, please, please take me there with You," he pursed his lips pleadingly.

"I heard it's really hot and bad and scary in hell."

_**

* * *

**_

October 16, 3 AM

"Cuddy? Cuddy, you there?" Wilson urgently called again. He hated having to wake her up but this was important.

"Wilson…?" Cuddy mumbled incoherently, groaning at being woken up at an ungodly hour. "It's three in the morning, what do you want?"

"Sorry, Cuddy…" he started, trailing off. She was obviously very sleepy and tired. Was this the right time to tell her? He thought so. Better now than let her have his head in the morning.

"Wilson, just tell me what's wrong, I have to be up early," she said, sitting up in the bed and rubbing her eyes tiredly.

"It's Julian," Wilson started, his voice low, cautious, the sound he usually made when he had to…

Cuddy was more alert now, her body reacting immediately at the mention of Julian's name. "Wilson? Wilson, what's wrong with Julian?" she inquired, her voice cracking in fear. To Wilson, she sounded like a mother fearing the worst for her child.

"Cuddy…" he said, "Lisa, I'm so sorry," he whispered as he glanced at Sister Amy crying in the arms of a nun a lot older than her, some fifteen feet away from him.

"Wilson, no! Tell me now," Cuddy demanded, tears springing forth as her mind fell over and over again on the same conclusion. She knew it could happen any time. She knew there was a 85% chance of it happening sooner but even as she had accepted that chance, she still couldn't wrap her head at the thought of her little friend gone.

She had been with him yesterday morning for his first round of chemotherapy for that day. She had watched heartbroken and helpless as he pursed his lips then almost biting his own lips off as he took every drop of his first round. Halfway through it she finally begged him, with tears in her eyes, to let it all out. That it was okay to cry, that she was there for him. That he wasn't alone.

It had been the first time she first-handedly saw someone go through it. First time she saw and held someone through it. Someone she cared for. That hurt a lot more than seeing just a patient go through it.

She had kissed his sweaty and clammy forehead, enveloping his hands with one of hers while her other tried its best to comfort him by running her fingers through his balding head and his sweat-slick back. She cried with him, cried for him, wishing he didn't have to endure this. Wishing there were other ways to help him.

He had bravely went through the whole increased dosage, sagging lifelessly, trembling, whimpering, vulnerable until Brandon announced that the first round was done. She had congratulated him, praised him for being such a great fighter and that the first round was "done, now. Everything's okay, for now. You did great, Honey. You were so brave." She had hugged him until his trembling and crying subsided, not caring if she was needed by one incompetent nurse. He had needed her so she held him.

"James… please," she murmured, voice husky, desperate; a mixture of her fears, her tiredness and exhaustion. Wilson wouldn't call her by her first name unless things had really made a turn for the worst. Tears were already falling from her eyes as her heart pounded so hard against her chest as if it was going to explode.

Wilson finally decided to just relay the information as gently, as clear and as professional as he could make it. He knew how Cuddy would be taking this, prepared himself for this and telling her, but still, his preparation for it didn't matter because in the end, Cuddy will always be his friend. And what person would like to share news this bad and hear his friend cry because of it?

Wilson took a deep, shuddering breath before finally opening his mouth to speak while Cuddy waited with bated breath.

"Lisa… Julian passed just two hours ago. He died from multiple infections. We tried to bring him back… we tried for as long as we could…"

"…his body just couldn't handle it anymore."

"I'm sorry…"


	32. Zephyr

_**DISCLAIMER: **__Characters. Not. Mine. I wish. Cancer facts, sadly, I forgot where I got it but I'm including it in this disclaimer because I lost my source. **I wrote this, like, WEEKS ago. Well, the first few paragraphs. **_

_**A/N: **__Just a VERY short update to say __**"Stay tuned!" **__because once I finish and post Breaking Walls' finale, I'll be focusing solely on Absence. :D And I know I'm being a tease when I say there is SO MUCH I have planned for this!_

_But please, do leave a review if you're still reading and interested! :D I need to know if my efforts to continue writing this will be worth the time and effort! :D AND there is a possibility that this one would be longer than ASH. _

_I write for you, guys! I know I also write for myself but I do aim to please you, smuddicts! ;D So please, fuel my imagination even more and leave a rev or two! :D_

_**TEASER: **__This chapter is goodbye Julian (though he won't be forgotten!). House is back, next chapter._

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 31: ZEPHYR**_

.

_**October 19**_

Cancer is an illness that has, despite all the progress and studies made in improving survival, reducing mortality rates and incidence, still accounts for more deaths than heart disease. It is a major public health problem in different countries all over the world, and the United States. As of late, statistics show that 1 in 4 deaths in the United States of America is due to cancer.

In children, Cancer is the second most common cause of death. This is amongst children between the ages of 1 and 14 years. The leading most common cause of death is by accidents. Nearly a third of the cancers diagnosed in children ages birth to 14 years are Leukemia, brain cancer and other parts of the nervous system, Soft Tissue Sarcomas which include Neuroblastoma, and Rhabdomyosarcoma, Wilms tumors, and Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma, respectively.

Cuddy knew all this.

She had been devastated and heartbroken when Wilson called her to let her know the heartrending news of Julian's death.

"Was he in pain?" she had asked Wilson minutes after unsuccessfully trying to compose herself. Wilson had assured her that he wasn't—that he left in peace. But Cuddy knew, deep down, that Julian had been in pain when he left. The thought alone had readied a fresh batch of tears.

The funeral seffrvice had been a heartbreaking event. Seeing children whom her little friend considered family, crying and reminiscing the times they had shared with their departed Julian. All the elders spoke praises of how Julian had been such a well-behaved child despite some moments of mischief. It broke her heart to have seen Sister Amy so pale with her eyes puffy. She may have been more composed but it was obvious that she was definitely keeping it all in for the sake of the other children.

Now, as they stood on the grass in the graveyard some hundred feet's walk from the orphanage's church, only the morose humming of the wind and the birds could be heard. The children had gone back to the orphanage, tended to by the other sisters and nuns. Though others had protested, they all went back together, leaving Cuddy and Sister Amy together.

They remained silent for a whole five minutes before Sister Amy turned to Cuddy with a sad yet thankful smile. She opened her arms to the kind doctor and hugged her tenderly. "Dr. Cuddy, thank you so much for all the help and support you gave Julian," she whispered softly, "I shall never forget you for that." Cuddy returned the hug, feeling as if she was thanking the woman for having helped make Julian the sweetest boy that he had been.

"It was my pleasure," she whispered with a small smile as they pulled away from their embrace.

Sister Amy then felt her pockets for something, giving a small smile as she pulled out a 6-inch glow in the dark half-moon. "He wanted me to give you this," she gave a sweet chuckle as she caressed the toy.

"He had always been afraid of the dark," she reminisced, staring at the half-moon with love. "He has two. He left one to me, and two days ago, he told me to give this other one to you," she smiled as she handed the toy to Cuddy.

"He had one taped on the side table beside his bed while this one dangled mere inches above him, hanging by a thread tied onto the bar of the double-decked bed," she chuckled again, shaking her head as she remembered having seen Julian struggle to be brave. The half-moons had given him strength to sleep through the night.

Cuddy couldn't help but smile, imagining Julian as a little boy afraid of the dark. She held the half-moon in her hand, smiling down upon it. "Thank you," she said, her eyes meeting Sister Amy's.

They stood in comfortable silence until Sister Amy excused herself, having to go tend to the other children again. Eventually, everybody had to move on.

The zephyr wind caressed her face as she sat on the grass after staying upright for some minutes after Sister Amy left. She sat there, staring off at a distance, suddenly finding herself unable to think of things. She tried to understand how life could be as cruel and unfair as it could be fruitful, meaningful and giving. Why and how it took the innocent, the defenseless and the good but embraced the conceited, arrogant and the corrupt.

She wasn't naïve—she knew that life was unfair and perfectly understood its complexities. But one could not help but think, or try to think, of explanations, rationalizations that could justify Life's ways. It is an inexplicable paradox one should just live through, never rationalize—for there were no explanations. One could only guess, for God or some supreme power was the only one who held the answers about life and how it truly worked.

Man could but live.

She sighed, breathing in the fresh air, the scent of the grass standing out. She looked back down at the name engraved on the plaque on the headstone: Julian Philip Smith. She glanced at the white sculpted angel kneeling on top of his grave.

She closed her eyes and smiled, the gentle zephyr wind telling her, "Don't worry, he's safe now. I saw him there. He's not in pain anymore. Rest now," as it caressed her skin. Her eyes opened to touch the fluffy softness of the clouds with her gaze, making out the shape of an angel. No halo, but with wings. Her hands reached up and delicately traced random shapes the way Julian used to do. Minutes later her hand fell onto her lap.

He was where he wished he was, now. He was in heaven, she was certain. "Don't forget to watch over me," she whispered to her departed friend, wishing his young soul peace as she got back on her feet, brushing what she could off of her slacks, without hurrying.

You never know who'd walk in and out of your life unexpectedly, but you know for certain that you were fated to meet. The people you come across in life may come and go but the change or impact they have shall forever be a part of you—no matter how big or small a change it may be.

Everything happened for a reason.

Everything had a reason.

She met Julian—though she may not know the reason, she was thankful, beyond words, that their paths once crossed. They may have parted tragically but in another life they would someday meet again. And until that day comes, he will always be in her heart, her memory.

She bent down a bit and caressed the engraved letters of his name. Julian Philip Smith, the only friend she had that wasn't balding or above the age of thirty.

She closed her eyes as she offered his soul one final prayer for that day, before she left. She wished him heaven and peace.

"See you later, Angel," she bid him goodbye, smiling as the zephyr wind blew her friend's reply.


	33. Flying Home

_**A/N: I wanted to squeeze in a short, separate chapter with House and Blair parting before we finally move the spotlight to HOUSE AND Cuddy, permanently. ;)**_

_**Well, MAYBE permanently. I'm not certain yet. I DID say I was being a tease, right? I didn't? Oh well... ;) Oh and… the title of the story is "Absence", remember? ;)**_

_**THIS chapter is just another "Stay tuned!" and filler chapter.**_

_Why, you ask? _

_I just finished Breaking Walls! _

_My focus is now solely on Absence! :D _

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 32: FLYING HOME**_

_**.**_

**_October 31, 12 PM_**

He took a long glance at the condo unit he was to leave later that night. Leaning on the doorframe, he stared at every corner he had used and the beautiful piano he had played. He was a sentimental man, though that may not be perceived easily. There were so many times spent and memories made there in the past year; thinking, brooding, playing music, soothing his mind, making love to the woman he loved for the second first time, and a lot more.

It was a sappy thought but truly, he would miss this haven. It gave him solace incomparable during his first few weeks and until he had finally grown to act like a man and call the woman who had plagued his thoughts.

It had been his best friend for one year. Never speaking, just watching and listening.

In a few hours, he would be leaving this haven to go back to the place where he truly belonged- accepted or not by those people he used to and would again, work with.

He knew he couldn't _really _change. He would always do something to screw things up. He wasn't an optimist. He was a realist. Why was he having those thoughts at that moment?

He blamed cold feet.

He didn't want to screw up what he had with Cuddy.

He'd fight hard not to screw things up.

God, he hoped he won't screw this up.

It mattered too much.

_**

* * *

**_

_**2 PM**_

**"**I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**_Airport 9:00 PM_**

Blair pulled lapels of his jacket forward, fixing it as she said, "I can't believe—"

"I'm all grown up and boarding a plane and flying alone, venturing into a city I barely know anything about?" House smirked as he cut her off. Blair rolled her eyes at him.

When she stayed quiet, letting him compose himself and become serious, he pouted at her. He opened his mouth to speak but she cut anything he was about to say. "First off, you're an ass—"

"You love me anyway…"

"I don't love you, I _like _you," she corrected, "as a friend, as an employee and an asset to my hospital. Don't let it get to your head."

"Which head?"

"Pervert."

"Oh, come on! We've talked 'bout this—you won't go girly or hormonal when we get here!" he whined, uncomfortable with these kind of feelings… and goodbyes. Blair had helped him so much throughout the year he was in Vancouver. She made him feel less alone. He had a friend in her. She, just like Cuddy, kept him grounded—as much as one could let THE Dr. Gregory House be grounded.

"I know…" Blair breathed, pouting at him, eyes sad. She couldn't believe she'd be saying goodbye to him so soon. She'd definitely miss him. Hell, he was still there in front of her but she already missed him. "I just can't believe I'm seeing you off…"

"Well, I told you, you didn't have to give me a ride. I could have easily—"

She let out a soft chuckle as she gently backhanded him on the stomach. "You're such an idiot," she fondly stated, noting the confused look on his face.

"I'm—"

"When it comes to emotions and things like this," she gestured between the two of them.

"Yes, you are!" she cut him off as he was about to negate the fact she had said.

House had been glaring at her for a while before checking the time on his wrist watch when his flight was called for final boarding over the PA system.

He sighed, looking at his friend somewhat longingly. He'd definitely miss her. Not that he was one to admit that. But he thought that she definitely deserved to hear it after all she's done for him.

The board had definitely been reluctant to let him go, offering one thing after another just to convince him to stay—needless to say he was surprised that they even wanted him to stay. That was nothing short of a miracle.

"Just shut up and don't screw up what is to be our last moment for quite some time, and hug me," she instructed playfully, a beautiful smile painting her face.

House just stood there, smirking at her. He let out a dramatic sigh when _she _stepped forward and embraced him as tightly as she could, wanting to feel his warmth and presence for a few more seconds. She'd only known him for a year but she truly _loved _him like her own brother. He had helped so much. He made her stand up for herself. He made her realize that she didn't need to cling to a man who would dare lay a violent finger on her. He had helped her in so many ways. He taught her without actually having to teach her. He was more than a friend and nothing close to a lover. More like, yeah, a brother.

She sighed against his neck, her mind doing a quick reminiscence of the times they have spent together. She wanted to keep this moment untainted, in her memory, until they meet again. The sentimental frown that had taken over her face in the few seconds after she hugged him was instantly replaced with a sweet grin when she felt his arms come up to wrap around her waist.

"I'll miss you, House," she whispered, closing her eyes as she squeezed him. Who would tick her off every day? Or challenge her intellect? Or give her coffee as a peace offering for "accidentally" breaking an MRI? Who would tell her she looked good—in the most unconventional of ways? Or let her know this or that nurse or doctor are making out at some supply closet? He wasn't entirely a nuisance.

"Hard to think when your bazookas are poking at me," he told her, smirking as he stared at his luggage.

"House…" she was about to reprimand him when he made her forget his lewd innuendo with his next four words.

"I'll miss you, too," he whispered, rather awkwardly, she noticed.

She smiled.

"Send Lisa my regards," she told him, smiling still.

House nodded and released her from his embrace as she pulled back. She lifted a hand up to cup his face, caressing his cheek, her palm tingly because of his stubble. He was really just rough around the edges.

She kissed his other cheek and smiled up at him.

"Until we meet again, Dr. House," she playfully bid him farewell. There were no goodbyes exchanged. Just see you laters. Because they knew that they would meet again. Their parting was not the least bit close to a goodbye.

He gave her a parting smile, waving once at her before turning towards New Jersey, towards Cuddy. Towards a new life—well, he hoped.

He was flying _home_. It held a different meaning now, the word. Home. He never thought he'd have _that _home in this lifetime.

* * *

A few hours later while he sat in his chair, the seatbelt sign went on and the pilot announced that they were about to land. House fastened his seatbelt and leaned back on the chair.

He looked out the window and gazed at the lights below him, welcoming him back.

House grinned.

"I'm back…"


	34. Home

**_A/N: _**Unbeta'd. Mistakes are mine.

Oh and! Thanks to my favorite slavedriver, _**oc7ober**_ for reminding me that a Diagnostic Department existed because Cuddy said so! ;) What the HBIC wants, the HBIC gets- and don't you forget it! ;)

_Do leave a review on your way out! :D You guys have no idea how they (__**you**_)_ help me :) _

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 33: HOME**_

_**.**_

"Why isn't Cuddy here?" Wilson asked, eyebrow arched in question while he helped House pull one of his luggage.

"I miiight have given her the wrong arrival time," House said, pursing his lips into a thin line, looking at Wilson.

Wilson sighed. "You didn't have to do that, you jerk," he chastised, "You knew how excited the woman was to see you!"

House smirked at him before turning serious. "If I told her the exact arrival time, she'd have been here early, on edge and lacking sleep," he shrugged.

Wilson's brows furrowed. "That _is _quite thoughtful," he commented.

House scoffed. "I don't do thoughtful," he negated, smirking as they walked towards Wilson's Volvo.

"Well, really, you don't. You make relatively huge exceptions for Cuddy, though, _that_ you can't deny," Wilson pointed a finger at him. House knew he'd lost so he just mimicked Wilson's words.

"Stop acting like an adolescent and load your things into the trunk," Wilson scolded, popping the trunk before getting into the car and starting it.

"Aren't you gonna help me?" House called out, grinning boyishly at his friend. Wilson rolled his eyes from where he sat, loudly saying, "You're not crippled anymore! Use your limbs!" House chuckled from where he stood, loading his carryon.

"Oh, and, when did I ever act like a grownup?" House asked, peeping through the door he had just opened. Wilson snorted at him before fastening the seat belt. He checked if House had his on before starting to drive.

They were quiet for a few minutes before House announced, "I won't be working at the hospital."

"Princeton-Plainsboro? Then where will you be working?" Wilson asked, glancing at him for a while before focusing his eyes on the road. "You won't last a week at some other hospital," he said. "Besides, need I remind you that there really isn't a Diagnostice department? Cuddy made one for _you._"

House rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair before dragging it down to his face. "I know, idiot. But I need to work someplace else," he said, turning serious.

"What do you think would happen to Cuddy and I if we worked together again? I don't have a problem with her being the one in power," he cleared. "Believe me," he reassured, "it's a huge turn-on."

"Then..."

Wilson sighed, cutting himself off. "You don't want to hurt her."

"Exactly," House mumbled, staring out the window. "I've hurt her countless times at work. I don't want that for her. Not unless I could help it," he stated. "It wouldn't be healthy for us, or our relationship."

"Well, I think it's a good idea," Wilson said, supporting him. He was glad House was thinking hard about it, that he was making sacrifices for his and Cuddy's relationship. He could really hurt Cuddy again if he worked for her. Wilson knew Cuddy would still be there even if he did but he was proud of House for not wanting to start hurting her again. Even if House didn't intentionally hurt her almost all of those times, he knew that he still hurt her.

"I'm proud of you," he added truthfully. He smiled as he glanced his way for a few seconds.

"Congratulations, House."

"Thank you."

Awkwardly, House asked, "How about you? How have you been?"

The left side of Wilson's mouth tugged up into a barely viewable smile, well, from House's field of view. Not thoughtful, eh? "I've been good," Wilson simply stated, "thanks for asking."

"Still trying to save one cancer patient at a time," Wilson chuckled lifelessly.

"Any new... woman?"

"None since Lexi," Wilson answered, not glancing at him.

"That's..." House trailed off, looking for words. "Surprising," he finally settled on saying.

"Surprising?" Wilson asked, eyebrow arching.

House shrugged.

"How's the leg?" Wilson asked tentatively.

"Never better," House smiled a small smile.

"That's great!"

"House?"

"Wilson?"

"It's great to have you back."

* * *

"Oh my God, what are you doing here?" Cuddy inquired, face flushed upon seeing him in front of her, on her doorstep, luggage and carryon beside him. He said his arrival time wasn't until six in the morning! She opened the door wider for him but he made no move to enter just yet. She was only in her robe, having snatched it after the incessant ringing of her doorbell. She couldn't sleep from the excitement so she had stayed up instead, working.

House smirked. "What, did I interrupt something?" he teasingly asked, making a show of peeping above her shoulder, looking for nothing and no one in particular.

"I thought your flight doesn't land until six," she said, ignoring his comment. She stared at him for a while until the confused look on her face was replaced by a smile.

"I asked Wilson to meet me," he informed her. "I wanted you to be able to sneak in some sleep," he said almost timidly before eyeing her. He gave her another once-over before saying, "Which, I could tell from the looks of it, didn't really work," he said, narrowing an eye at her.

Cuddy smirked back at him. "You couldn't blame me, I've missed you," she defended, smiling. She was excited, sue her. "It's cold outside," she smiled, "Plan to stay there all morning?" she asked, grinning as she opened the door wider for him.

House grinned. "I thought you'd never ask!" He lifted his carryon from the doorstep onto his shoulder and started pulling on the handles of the two pieces of luggage he had with him. He stepped forward, towering over her and asked, "Mind lending a hand?" he asked, beautiful cobalt eyes lively as they gazed at her sapphires.

Cuddy shook her head, chuckling. "You're not crippled anymore, remember?" she lightheartedly teased.

"Damn," he breathed mere inches from her lips. "You know, I miss the perks of PWDs," he smirked, pouting down at her.

She smiled that thousand-Watt smile for him, tilting her head up so he could see. "Welcome home," she whispered blissfully, beaming as her palms pressed against his broad chest for support as he dipped his head down and she met him halfway, meeting his lips, kissing him for the first time in months. She smiled against his lips when she heard the luggage drop heavily to the floor along with his carryon, smiling wider when she felt his arms wrap around her slender waist.

They kissed tenderly at first, a gentle reunion after months of physical separation. This had been what Cuddy needed during the past few weeks— him. She had needed the release, physical and emotional. Not only over the phone. She enveloped his lips with her own, his stubble making her skin feel tingly, causing Goosebumps all over her skin. One hand snaked upwards to cup his face, feeling the warmth of his body as she held his cheek and he held her against him, loving the feel of him against her after not being able to touch him for months. God, she missed him.

Their heads shifted angles, accommodating their needs as they took their time, kissing, careless of the outside world able to see them from her front door. Then again, to the outside world it'd have looked like a couple that had parted but were finally reunited. Somehow, it would have been a beautiful sight to see.

Feeling as if they've been tender enough, he ran his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance to her sweet mouth. She smiled against him, his lips meeting her teeth before she opened her mouth to him, granting him access. Her arms came to drape on both sides of his neck as he bent her backwards slightly, her back arching as they kissed passionately, tongues dancing with, around and against each other.

He reveled in the taste of her, having missed it beyond words—missed her. He couldn't believe he was standing there, kissing and holding her, in his arms. He was definitely one lucky bastard.

House and Cuddy stood there, kissing like long-lost lovers that have finally found each other again after so long an absence. It was a blissful reunion for both of them.

Minutes later they finally parted, her lips reluctant to part from his bottom lip. Eventually, she did but not before biting down seductively on it, smiling as she pulled back from his arms.

"Place your luggage in my room," she told him as he recollected his belongings while she shut the front door, locked and bolted it. "I'll look for something you could eat," she said. But before she could go to the kitchen, he held her gently by the arm, shaking his head. "Just coffee," he told her, "I'm not hungry," he explained.

Cuddy nodded. He released his hold on her and gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

"Make yourself at home," she said before disappearing into the kitchen, not without his eyes trailing after her.

House let out a content sigh when she left before walking to her bedroom and depositing his luggage to the floor. He changed into plaid pajama pants and a gray shirt before he sat beside her on the couch, his coffee making its aromatic presence known on the center table.

"How was your flight?" she asked, scooting closer to him. He reached for the warm mug of coffee before leaning against the back of the couch. "Boring, as always," he replied before sipping the coffee and exhaling as it ran down his throat. "Not enough leg space."

"You _do_ make better coffee than Cameron," he commented, taking another hearty sip before adding, "And Cameron makes really good coffee."

Cuddy laughed a little as she reached for her remote. She really wasn't in the mood to watch, wanting to just focus on him, but she thought maybe he wanted to watch monster trucks or whatever. She looked at him, shaking the remote near his view. He shook his head. "I'm almost done here," he said, motioning at his cup. She nodded, just looking at him.

"Do you want to go out later? We could go bowling, or we could stay in," he said, shrugging a bit. She smiled. "Maybe we could go out with Wilson, for lunch? So we could have the rest of the day to ourselves," she suggested. He nodded, a small smile painting his face.

"I have to be at work tomorrow, though," she said, pouting, "then afterwards, I want to visit Julian's grave…" she trailed off, unsure of how he felt about her mentioning Julian when he just got home. To her relief, he just nodded.

They were silent for a while, House finishing his coffee. "Want me to come with you?" he tentatively asked.

Cuddy smiled sweetly at him. He was trying. "You sure you want to come?" she asked him seriously, not wanting him to do it if he really didn't want to.

"Sure," he shrugged, placing the empty mug on the table before leaning back on the couch again.

"Thank you," she whispered, pecking him on the lips.

"You're welcome."

"Bed?" House suggested, tired from his day; the goodbyes, and see you laters with Blair, the packing and the flight. Seeing Cuddy alleviated his tiredness for a while.

As-if on cue, Cuddy yawned and she drowsily nodded, standing up from her spot on the couch. She pulled him up and led him to the bedroom. He brushed his teeth while she organized some of his things, internally laughing at how domesticated they were acting that morning.

She was already in bed when he finished. She smiled as she felt the bed dip as he got under the covers, next to her. It was a very relaxing feeling.

He spooned behind her, her back against his chest. She pulled his arm under her head, using his muscular biceps as a pillow. She smiled as she felt the warmth radiating off of him. He used his free hand to pull her closer against him while he buried his nose in the scent of her hair, her scent another thing he missed over the months.

She loved how he held her— neither too loose nor too tight. It was very relaxing, laying there in his arms. She hoped that he wasn't planning on renting an apartment. He was definitely welcomed in her home. Funny, it wasn't a home anymore without House. She chuckled. Her house wasn't a home without House in it. She laughed quietly, her fingers dancing along his arm, feeling the light sprinkle of hair along it.

"Harebrained harpy," he murmured against her neck when she stopped laughing. She didn't have to be psychic to guess that he was smirking. "What were you laughing at?" he asked when she laughed again after his comment.

"Nothing," she replied, eyes closing. She'd rather die than confess what she had been thinking.

"Liar," he taunted.

Cuddy grinned. "I know."

She sighed, "This feels good," she murmured, in raptures at thought of sleeping and waking up in his arms from day to day. She guessed that she probably would never get tired of it. "Well, I guess until we start working together, again," she muttered, "I'm visioning you, sleeping on the couch, tail tucked in between your legs."

He turned serious for a moment before finally telling her what he'd been meaning to tell her for weeks. He was a grownup, after all. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand the disappointment that he knew was bound to creep onto her beautiful face once he told her so he guessed that the dim lights that the lamp on the bedside table offered was a slight reprieve.

"Cuddy…" he started, manning up for it.

"Hmm?" she asked, not noticing the tone his voice had taken, her tiredness overpowering her earlier adrenaline.

"I'm not going back to Princeton-Plainsboro… I have an interview at Princeton General in two days," he disclosed.

Those words woke her up a bit. She turned in his arms, looking at him shocked and confused. "Why?" she asked, her eyes expressing sadness through the lamp's light.

He didn't meet her eyes, staring at the ceiling instead. "You know how I could be at work," he told her. "I don't want to hurt this relationship by hurting _you_, at work—don't deny it, Cuddy; I've done many horrible things to you. I _will _do horrible things again, to you, if I work at Plainsboro," he was looking her in the eyes as he said that, wanting her to know how serious he was about them. His cobalt eyes were serious, emotions swirling in his beautiful orbs.

"And I don't want that to get in our way." He was scared, afraid of screwing things up if he worked for her again. He _knew_ he'd eventually hurt her. He'd avoid working for her as much as possible. He didn't want her to resent him. He wouldn't be able to take it.

It was a feeble attempt at stopping him from working for somebody else—she knew he had already made up his mind about it. Nevertheless she tried, wanting him near—was she being selfish? Wanting him to work for _her_ instead of somebody else? She knew, if she really wanted to, she could convince him to start working at her hospital again. She didn't know why, but she tried reasoning, telling him, "It won't if we don't let it!" Did she sound too desperate? No, that was a whisper.

He cupped her cheek, running his thumb gently against her cheekbone, smiling a little at her possessiveness. It was endearing for him, honestly. "It _will_, Cuddy," he told her matter-of-factly, "Eventually, it will."

"I don't want that," he repeated, kissing her on the forehead.

She closed her eyes, taking in his words. Something deep within her coiled, unwilling to let go of him as an employee. Another part of her wanted to let go if for the sake of their budding relationship. She had to choose. She had to know how to let go. She wanted to cry but it wasn't a crying matter.

She remained quiet for a while, eyes closed, contemplating.

She couldn't… but she had to.

It was a hard decision to make, being so used to his presence at work despite a year of not having him around. Had it been some preparation of some sort? Had that one year been a practice for her?

Truth be told, her decision should be an easy "okay". But her administrative side couldn't let go of him professionally. Truth be told, the hospital needed him. Donations weren't the same, the hospital was too quiet—she couldn't believe she missed his loudness and the _air _of _him_ that hovered around the hospital corridors, especially on the 4th floor. She would never tell him, but he kept her on her feet. He kept her grounded.

She had to think. She had to wrap her mind and heart around it. She sat up in bed.

"Hey," he called out, caressing the small of her back. "What's wrong?" he asked, forehead knitting, worried.

She shook her head, pecking him once on the lips before standing. "I just have to clear my head a little," she told him before exiting the bedroom, intent on making herself a cup of tea and curling up on her couch.

She hated having to leave his side but she needed to think, alone.

House heavily sagged on the mattress. He sighed heavily. He hated having to tell her but he knew that he was doing it for them both. It was their relationship on the line. And he was willing to quit diagnostics for an indefinite time.

This mattered. More than anything ever mattered to him. That was saying a lot.

He laid there, listening to what she was doing. But he couldn't hear anything. She was as quiet as a ghost. He faintly heard something click and that was it. She needed time to process, he understood that. But he wished she didn't have to leave the bed. He instantly craved her warmth. He'd give her fifteen, twenty minutes tops before he joins her, pillow and afghan in tow.

Cuddy sat on the couch, staring at the unlit fireplace as she sipped her tea. She was going to let go of him as an employee and asset to her hospital. Besides, the Board wasn't really eager on having him back. Well, majority of the Board, if not the entirety. She had finally decided to let go, but not of the hope that he might one day return to work at her hospital. He belonged there, truthfully. The Diagnostic department was nothing without him. Even if his team were exceptional, _he _was the soul of the department.

She sighed when she found out her cup was already empty. Was he mad because she left his side? Was he upset? No, he surely understood her. He hadn't followed her right away. He understood.

She let out a small smile. He was in her bedroom, surely staring at the ceiling in contemplation, eyebrows furrowed and an arm behind his head. She hoped that he was there to stay.

No, House thought. He won't go out after her. He'd leave her alone to think. She'd eventually wander back into the bed. He bent an arm behind his head, resting against it as he continued staring at the ceiling.

Minutes later, she reentered the room, crawling next to him in bed. She rested her head on his shoulder while he drew circles on her arm, making her drowsier. She placed a hand on his chest, under his shirt, caressing the light sprinkle of hair there.

"Okay," she said, nuzzling his neck and peppering it with kisses.

"Okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered, setting her head on his arm, again. "If you think it's what's best for us," she said sincerely, "Then, yeah."

He buried his nose in her curls, inhaling.

He exhaled.

"It's what's best for us," he insisted.

"Now, go to sleep! Long day ahead of us," he whispered.

She tilted her head to meet his lips for one sweet goodnight kiss, smiling against his lips.

"Goodnight, House," she murmured against his lips before occupying the arm her head had vacated just seconds prior.

House sighed, relaxed.

"Night, Cuddy," he replied, stroking her arm in lazy circles until she fell asleep.

The sound of her breathing quietly and the steady, rise and fall of her chest were bringing him closer to the edge of sleep as well.

A short while later, he succumbed to it, falling asleep with the woman he loved in his arms.

It was great to be home.


	35. Compromises

_**A BIG THANK YOU TO KADDISON_**_ for editing on VERY, VERY, VERRRY short notice! xD Lobe you, Hon! :) And sorry you had to be late for class because of this story! LOL. *kisses*

_**A/N:**_ Hey peeps, where are the other people? LOL! 11 reviews made me feel a bit sad. *pouts* I mean, compared to the 15+ or 20+ Absence used to get… Though those 11 were awesome, I'd like to hear from the closet readers. Because I'm losing inspiration to continue despite the stuff I have planned… I know Absence isn't based on S7 canon, but man… *pouts*

I don't mean to sound bratty or spoiled but I really _do _seek a huge amount of inspiration from the reviews. And I am very grateful that people read. I just wish that people would take time to at least leave kind words or a review.

Believe me, I am very flattered to know, via Story Traffic, that the previous chapter was read by at least 700 people (whether or not read by same people). Thank you for reading! :)

Know that I love you all, but I really appreciate those who review, more. To those who don't review but let me know what they think via Twitter or message, thanks a bundle as well! :D

Moving on…

The next two chapters might be fast-paced. Just so you know. ;)

_**SMUT WARNING: **__9 PM onwards. The chapter has 3 parts. When you reach Nov. 15, you're in the clear. :) _

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 34: COMPROMISES**_

_**.**_

_**Nov. 3, 6 PM**_

"I'm ready for you to buy me dinner, Mistress!" House announced as he barged into Cuddy's office, smirking when he saw her unaffected, reading her file. "I take it we won't be eating out tonight?" he asked, sitting on the couch, "Again?"

Cuddy hid the smile that had taken over her face when she heard the door to her office burst open as he entered. He had no idea how much she had missed it. After signing the file, she looked up at him and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry," she started. "I know we made plans but I have so much left to do."

"How 'bout I buy us takeout and bring it back here?" he suggested, both corners of his mouth tugging up expectantly. Let the people outside her office talk, he thought.

Cuddy shook her head, though, smiling sweetly at him. "I don't know how much longer I'll take. I really do have to get these done," she gestured to the pile of paperwork on her desk.

House smirked. "Incompetent," he shot playfully at her; face serious, voice joking.

She glared at him. "Unemployed," she retorted before slapping her hand atop the pile of paperwork and dragging the one on top until it was in front of her.

"_You _would have hired me if I weren't against it," House defended, sticking his tongue out at her childishly. She sneered at him before focusing on the paperwork at hand.

"Want me to leave?" House asked her, frowning.

"What?" she asked, shocked, "No! Why would you think that?" House shrugged.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him before standing up and smoothing out her skirt. She walked towards him. "I'm sorry," she said, pecking him on the lips. "I'll make it up to you when I get home," she seductively murmured against his lips, not meeting his eyes purposely. "I just have to get those done," she gestured towards the folders stacked on her desk.

"Well, work faster!" he whined, pouting. She chuckled. As annoying as it was, most of the time, it could really be cute. "I'll get you dinner so you won't have to worry about it. Any requests?" he asked her, lips pursing into a thin line as he waited for her answer.

She thought for a while. "Hmm… linguine and salad?" she said off the top of her head. Yeah, she was definitely craving linguine.

House nodded. "Linguine and salad, it is!" he repeated like a waiter. Cuddy smiled at his thoughtfulness. "Anything else?" Cuddy shook her head. She gave him a quick peck on the lips, thanking him, before walking behind her desk and once again sitting on her ergonomic chair.

"Oh, and the other reason I dropped by…" he trailed off, obviously wanting her full attention for just a while before he continued. She looked up, as expected, and waited for him to start talking again. "I got the job," he continued, "at Princeton General." His eyes were on hers, watching how she would react to the news. "Apparently, they have been in need of a replacement for their Head of Nephrology. They had some issues with my way of working so they felt compelled to lay down the rules _one by one_—believe me, it was horrifying," he rolled his eyes. "But… so far I'm okay with them." House shrugged. He'd be dealing with more paperwork if he took that job but he supposed he could live with it.

Cuddy just looked at him for a while, checking if he was really okay with not working at PPTH's Diagnostic Department. He was made for it, that's why she had established it for him those many years ago.

"House," she started, seriously, though her voice was tender. "Are you sure about this?", she asked him, biting down on her lower lip and fiddling with the pen in her hand. She had believed it when she had said that their jobs wouldn't affect their personal relationship if they didn't let them. Maybe it had been naïve of her to say that. _Of course, _they _would_.

_But_ it didn't mean they couldn't try to prevent it… Cuddy sighed. House would be House when it came to his puzzles and patients. As much as he seemed to resent them, he'd do just about anything for them.

House sat down on the chair in front of her desk, looking at the ground; elbows on his knees, fingers interlaced. "Cuddy… I have _no _filter when it comes to my patients. I don't want to risk it," he mumbled.

Cuddy stood up from behind her desk, occupying the chair beside House's. She pulled the chair forward and cupped his cheek.

"House," she whispered, looking into his eyes as she caressed his face. She smiled, saying, "I _know_ you. You may think that it's important for both of us that you do this _but… _you'll always be your _incredible _self. You'll _eventually _crave the puzzles again because the ones you'll be having as Head of Nephrology at Princeton General _would never _come close to the ones you get _here. _I know you won't admit it, but you're terrified of what you could say to me. I want you to be yourself. I love you because you're _you_." She let out a small smile as she said it, thumb brushing against his lips.

She licked her lips before continuing. "I don't want you to sacrifice the job you love the most for something less. You'll be miserable soon enough. I don't want you to have to go through that," she told him, thinking of him, _and his _happiness. She knew that by working for her again, he could hurt her again and again, but she had long accepted that. She'd long been immune to it—though admittedly, every time it happened, she hurt. But it was part of life; part of the job.

He looked imploringly into her eyes. He was struggling with this thing. "I don't want to risk _us._" For normal couples, it wouldn't have been an issue. But they were far from a normal couple. They both doubted that they ever would be. They were unique. Cuddy loved it. House thought they needed to have more things in common. They had more things to work through, still.

One step at a time.

Cuddy pursed her lips, inhaling a deep breath, closing her eyes to just… breathe, for a while. She truly didn't want him to sacrifice what he lived for, for her. She stood up from the chair and stood behind him. She set her hands on his shoulders, running her hands along both sides. "House…" she breathed before hugging him from behind, setting her head where his neck met his shoulder.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered reassuringly, kissing his neck. She didn't care if they had been over this the previous night; he needed support and reassurance.

"_Nothing_ you say is going to push me away, now." She said, kissing his neck again. "Well, nothing you say _at work_ because of a patient," she added, her tone light.

House straightened his posture. She carefully tilted his head to the side so she could reassure him more. "You're not getting rid of me, old man," she told him, chuckling softly as she met his lips with her own.

When they parted, House gazed at her eyes. Never had he seen them so alive. He took great pride in knowing that he was part of the reasons her eyes were so full of life these days. He _hoped _he was one of those reasons.

"Let me just give this a shot," he asked of her, eyes full of hope; hope for the future. House usually thought of the endgame, not the _now_. It was making Cuddy's heart burst with hope and many more emotions, to see him looking towards the future _and _living the present—a thing the House from a few years ago would never have done.

"Okay." Cuddy acquiesced, kissing his temple. "Okay," she breathed against his skin, squeezing his arm with her hand for support. "But know that the doors of my hospital will always be open if you decide to come back as Head of the Diagnostic Department," she added. House nodded.

They stayed silent for a while, House leaning towards her warmth.

Cuddy broke the silence. "Now, get out of here," she playfully whispered against his ear, "I've got work to do, bucko."

A corner of his mouth tugged up into a one-sided smile. He watched as she sat back down on her chair, resuming work.

"So… that's linguine and salad, right?"

"Yup," she replied, not looking up.

"Alright then," he said, standing up. "I'll see you later," he said before walking towards the doors. He paused, turning. "Cuddy?"

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up from the file to meet his gaze. His tone had taken a different tone, causing her to focus on him for a few seconds.

"Thank you," he replied, "for understanding." He smiled for her before turning and exiting his girlfriend's office.

Cuddy smiled. Taking a deep breath and releasing it afterwards, she sought to finish the fifteen or so files on her desk as soon as she possibly could.

She had forgotten how it felt to come home to somebody.

It felt amazing.

_**

* * *

**_

_**9 PM**_

"I'm home!" Cuddy announced, removing her scarf and coat, then hanging both on the coat rack next to her front door.

No reply.

Cuddy toed off her shoes and walked to the living room, not finding him there. She frowned as she continued her House-search in the kitchen and dining area; no one. She kept silent for a while, listening with her ears instead of searching with her eyes and mouth.

The shower was running.

An idea popped into her mind and she grinned like the Cheshire cat.

Quietly, she strode into the bedroom she now shared with him. She smirked as she saw his clothes strewn all over the room—though she kind of liked having to pick up after him. Call the picking-up part practice, she thought.

After making sure there were no other article of clothing haphazardly lying around the room, she slipped into the master bath, quietly, and closed the door behind her.

She watched him as he showered, at the same time removing her own clothes. The steam obscured parts of him, causing her to undress quicker.

"What took you so long?" he asked, grinning, as he felt her presence behind him in the glass shower stall. He continued washing his hair, rinsing off the shampoo.

She stood there, pouting. "Killjoy," she muttered. House chuckled throatily. The chuckle died in his throat as he felt her hands cold hands come in contact with his warm body.

"How was work?" he sarcastically asked, knowing the answer already.

"God," she smirked, "I hope you don't plan on asking me that during foreplay," she muttered, checking the water temperature of his liking. She pulled her hand away from the shower head when the water hit her hand.

He smirked in return although she couldn't have seen it. "No, sorry. I talk about Wilson during foreplay. The mention of Wilson gets women gushing," he grinned mischievously, "if you know what I mean."

Cuddy snorted. "Not _this_ lady," she commented, grimacing at the thought of future foreplay if Wilson was mentioned.

"Your water's too hot," she complained as she ran her nails down his back, opting to divert the conversation and mood to something more… relaxing. He was too caught up in what she was doing to him to argue, adjusting the water's temperature to a degree of her liking.

"That's enough," she whispered against his ear.

"God," he groaned as he felt her fingers splay against his abdomen, dipping lower until she reached the short curls resting just above his privates.

"Call me Cuddy," she purred against his ear.

He let out a strangled groan as she held him in her hands, flaccid still. We could fix that, she thought lustfully. She started stroking him to erection, kissing his back and his neck. Any part of him she could reach, she kissed. He braced himself with both arms on the bathroom tiles, his breath coming out in short pants and gasps as she continued running her skillful hands up and down his length, toying with his sack once in a while. Cuddy let out a guileful smile as she felt his pre-cum, the evidence of his desire for her. It coated her finger tips in a few drops coming one after another.

A few more tugs and strokes later, something in House snapped and he gently pried her hands from his erection. He turned to face her and gently turned her, then backed her against the wall. He chastely kissed her on the lips before lavishing wet kisses on her jaw line and down her neck. His right hand snaked up to cup one of her breasts while his mouth tried to capture the other as much as he could. He sucked on her nipple, causing her to moan, a hand moving to cup his skull, pulling his head towards her breast more while the other rested on top of his right hand, urging him to massage her breast harder. "House," she moaned, back arching off the wall as he gave her breasts his undivided attention. Minutes later, after lavishing enough attention to her breasts, House's lips moved down to her torso, peppering her moist skin with wet kisses. He glided down, mapping her body with his kisses until he teasingly stopped only a few inches below her navel, causing her to let out a huff of frustration.

He grinned as he kissed her pouting lips with his own, inviting her tongue with his to dance. They did, kissing open-mouthed. Cuddy's hands were on either side of his face, pulling her flush against him. She could feel the hot suede-like prod of him against her stomach and she moaned against his mouth in anticipation. Cuddy buried her face in the crook of his neck as she felt him tease her clit, brushing against it slowly. She mewed softly, her hips gyrating towards his hand.

He kissed the skin under her ear then sucked on it, soothing the sting with his tongue afterwards. She gasped, nuzzling her head against his neck. Her breath was coming in pants as he tested her wetness. A gentleman always checked before he penetrated. She was hot, wet and ready for him as he easily slipped his middle finger inside her. She gasped, exhaling as his ring finger followed the other, entering her velvety warmth. Her hands grasped his biceps, nails biting into his skin as he started an up and down motion as he gently pushed her back so that her back was firmly pressed against the wall.

Cuddy moaned loudly as he continued doing what he was doing, causing her to shudder in pleasure. His fingers were brushing over and over against her G-spot, making her moans louder as his fingers continued plunging up and down inside her.

"God, House, what are you doing?" she heavily breathed out in query. His free hand went to her breast, massaging it and he used his lips to trail sloppy kisses on her neck. His body pinned her more firmly against the wall as her shuddering and writhing against his frame. His simple technique was bringing her closer to the edge, causing her muscles to seemingly push against his fingers.

"You like it?" he asked against her neck, nipping and nibbling on her porcelain skin.

"God, yes!" she cried as her body was wracked with more spasms. She arched her back, her internal muscles pushing against his hand hard, crying out her orgasm. She felt herself squirt water from inside her and she moaned out loudly, her head banging slightly on the wall behind her. The pain mixed with her pleasure, making it the tiniest bit addictive.

House's body stood firmly against hers, helping steady her as her body continued being wracked with spasms. One hand was wrapped around her waist, cushioning her from the wall while the other came to cup the back of her head, not wanting a repeat of her head banging against it.

Minutes later, her body finally stopped writhing and jerking, her insides felt tingly. She was very sensitive at that moment. Her face was visibly relaxed. She felt boneless.

"Damn," House breathed. She couldn't even formulate a word so she looked at him with questioning eyes. "Nothing," House answered, "Just didn't think that that trick would do wonders for you."

An eyebrow arched; another question.

House grinned. Even if _he _hadn't penetrated her yet, the perfect words to describe her current state were: screwed senseless. "Wilson recommended a video," he mumbled against her lips, kissing her.

Seemingly, with that reply, she was able to formulate a threat. "Thanks for ruining my post-coital bliss," she rebuked, turning her head to the side to avoid his lips. "Talk about Wilson again during sex and I'll ask him to join _you _here instead."

"That would be nice," he smirked, eyes playful. "We could have a threesome!" he said, mock-excited.

Cuddy scowled. "God, House, you're a pig," she commented, pushing him from her. Of course, being House, the man only tightened his hold on her more.

"We will never have a threesome with Wilson, or anybody else for that matter," Cuddy said sternly. House pouted, she glared.

His voice softened, playful. "Glad to know I'm stuck with you," he commented, pecking her on the lips, making her smile a bit.

"Stuck?" she inquired.

"Sorry, other way around," he chuckled, kissing her again.

"Good to know we're clear on that," she laughed throatily, making him smile as he lifted her off of the ground, hitching her legs around his waist. Her arms dangled from his shoulders, crossed and one over the other.

"Now," she grinned against the corner of his mouth, a hand trailing down in between them, scraping his skin deliciously with her nails. "Let's get back to the topic _in _hand," she purred against his lips as she held him, stroking him hard.

He moaned. "I love it when you talk dirty," he commented in between kisses.

"I know," she replied, moaning as she positioned him in front of her entrance, nodding her forehead against his lips. She braced an arm around him, above his shoulder while the other pulled him into her. House gently pushed inside her, groaning at the back of his throat while she inhaled sharply from the sheer size of him and the pleasure.

Her one hand joined the other, clinging onto him as he started moving, slowly, to give her time to adjust to him. She hummed in pleasure as he started hitting a spot inside her that made her body burst into flames of pleasure, engulfing her and her senses. She moaned his name, nails biting hard into his skin, leaving red scorches.

"Cuddy," he groaned, her tight core pumping him hard as he rammed in and out of her. Her nails deliciously pierced his skin, making him more aroused as could be. The feel of her pulsing core was close to nirvana.

Cuddy panted hard, helping him impale her onto his hardened shaft. The sound of their skins smacking against each other heightened her desire and need to come apart. The feel of the warm water cascading from his body to where they were joined was driving her crazy.

They continued their movements for minutes long; House thrusting up, pulling almost out only to repeat the previous movement while she met every thrust and pushed her pelvis towards him whenever he retreated—though whenever they seemed to reach the edge, House would slow his movement. Even if it was just sex, he wanted to prolong their orgasms. He wanted to remain inside her more, pleasure her more.

Her legs, wrapped around his waist possessively, prevented him from getting too far whenever he pulled. Her toes were already curling, on the edge again.

"House!" she gasped as he sucked a nipple into his mouth and thrust harder and faster. She let out a strangled groan against the crook of his neck, arms tightly crossed around his neck, her head buried there as well. "I'm…" she whimpered, panting, "I'm going to…"

"Come for me, Cuddy," he whispered against her ear after having released her nipple from his mouth with a pop. He felt her hesitance, saw her bite her bottom lip, stopping herself.

He secured her with an arm as he brought the other to her cheek. "Let go, Cuddy," he breathlessly whispered against her lips, his forehead aligned to hers, his fingers brushing her cheek as he continued pleasuring her.

With a strangled cry she came, muscles tensed for a while before her body let go as well, writhing and shuddering against him. Her orgasm was intense. She called out his name once, twice, multiple times, riding him as she continued writhing.

The strength of her muscles clamping around him caused him to let go, driving in and out of her tight channel even stronger, faster and harder, prolonging their pleasure and their orgasms. Cuddy was almost crying from the beauty and bliss of their carnal lovemaking. She kept letting out muffled cries against his mouth as he repeatedly hit that spot inside her, his muscles bunching, flexing and then thrusting, again and again.

House came hard, exploding inside her in hot bursts, filling her. She moaned as he did, the feel of his warm seed saturating her, prolonging her orgasm. She spread warm, wet kisses along his neck, laving at his jaw, kissing his lips, meeting his tongue. They moaned breathlessly as they kissed, slowly descending from their climax.

Cuddy moaned as she felt House's semen slide down the insides of her thighs, pecking him on the lips again. He thrust gently up at her and she smiled against his lips, teasing him back by rolling her pelvis. He moaned.

"Bed?" he suggested.

"Hmm…" she answered, thinking. "We haven't exactly showered yet," she reminded him with a naughty grin. "Shower, food, then… bed," she told him, eyes hazy with want for him. She had just had him, yet she already wanted him again. God, what was he doing to her? She smiled. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Okay," he agreed, gently setting her on the floor. He reached for the shampoo and pulled her under the shower head.

"I'll wash your back, you wash mine in return," he bargained, grinning.

"No sex until we've eaten," she decreed.

He pouted.

She smirked, although she couldn't exactly glare at him from where she stood.

"Fine," he acquiesced, lathering the shampoo onto her hair before gently proceeding with getting her clean.

He didn't see the point.

They'd get down and dirty again soon enough.

_**

* * *

November 15, 7:30 PM**_

"Hey," Cuddy greeted, pecking him on the lips as she dropped her briefcase next to him on the couch. He always went home earlier than she did. He had started working at Princeton General a week ago and she always felt a bit bad because whenever she asked him about how his day had been, he always replied the same, telling her, "It was fine."

She knew it wasn't, really.

She had expected to hear him complain but she hasn't heard a single whine from him and it was making her worry more. He wasn't talking to her about it. It had been a week. She had to take matters into her own hands.

"How was work?" she inquired. It was the first question she asked him when she got home.

"It was fine," he replied.

See?

"House…"

"What?" he inquired, staring at the plasma TV showing monster trucks crashing against each other.

"How was work? And don't say it was fine. Something tells me it isn't," she put her hands on her hips after removing her suit jacket.

House smirked, eyes still plastered to the screen.

She arched an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Well, that something is wrong. Everything's fine," he told her, finally ungluing his eyes from the television.

She sighed before snatching the remote that laid next to his thigh, pushing down on the power button on the remote.

"Hey!" House whined, glaring at her. "I was watching that!" he argued. She glared back at him before he lowered his head.

"I'll have the cable removed if you do not start talking to me about work!" she threatened, a hand on her hip, remote on the other.

He scrubbed his face with a hand. "Cuddy!" he moaned tiredly.

"What? Come on, House, tell me, please!" she plead, sitting next to him after dropping the remote on the center table.

He looked into her eyes. "There's nothing _to _tell," he shrugged. "Every patient is boring. The mountains of paperwork I had and will have to review is boring," he finally admitted. Heavily, he sighed, his shoulders slumped.

Cuddy's face softened, her heart broke. She walked towards the couch and sat next to him, embracing him. "We knew it would be hard for you," she said, rubbing his back. "But… you have to be strong. You wanted to try this. You're going to have to persevere, okay?" she tilted his chin and looked into his eyes. He nodded. He knew that he could resign after a few months but he knew he had to avoid the temptation to resign earlier to go after the puzzles that Cuddy's hospital offered. He had to sacrifice his love for puzzles for his love for Cuddy. A year ago he'd finally admitted to himself that the puzzles weren't enough, that he could be happy, and that he could be _not _alone and miserable. He had the woman and happiness now.

Was it worth the sacrifice?

Yes, he thought.

Cuddy was right, though. Eventually, he'd crave the puzzles so badly that he'd be miserable.

"House?"

Apparently he'd been too lost in his thoughts. He glanced at her. "Huh?"

Cuddy smirked though it quickly faded into pursed lips. "I was asking if you wanted to be a consultant for the Diagnostic Department."

His eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.

She smiled. She had always loved his eyes whenever they contained happiness.

"Well, your old team wouldn't stop nagging me about it when they found out last week that you're back in town for good, believe it or not," she smirked. "Though I think it's a brilliant idea," she smiled.

"So, what do you think?" she asked, smiling lopsidedly, knowing the imminent answer.

"Sure," he agreed, grinning.

"Great!" she grinned back.


	36. A Special Christmas Chapter

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company._

_**A/N:** Sooo... I was experiencing a crazy Huddy overload so I had to ask **Penelope S Cartwright** for her input. Penny! :D Readers, read her awesome fics! :D **  
**_

_The overload was like an orgasm, without the sex.__ Unbeta'd! Errors are mine._

**_AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! I haven't really planned THIS chapter but it came to me as I was reading the reviews! :D _**

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYONE!**_

_This, along with the others, is my Christmas gift to all of my readers! :)_

_**SMUT warning: **__1st part. 2__nd__ part, clean. ;)_

_**This will be my last chapter for the holidays! :D I'm gonna go on a Holiday hiatus :D**_

_Drop a review on your way out, please! :D_

_**ENJOY!**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 35: A SPECIAL CHRISTMAS CHAPTER**_

_**.**_

_**Dec. 25**__**, **__**7 am**_

"Good morning!" Cuddy greeted him as he exited the bedroom, his hair messy, clothes rumpled. She smiled as he walked towards her and pecked her on the lips.

"Mmm," she hummed, palms on his chest as he pressed her against the counter, his morning glory poking at her proudly. "Good to know you washed and brushed," she chuckled against his lips.

"I'm a good boy," he mumbled against her neck as he lavished attention on it. Cuddy tilted her head to the side, warranting him more space, her hand running through his messy hair.

"Only on Christmas," she chuckled throatily, gasping when he playfully bit on her jugular.

"Mmm, I can't be naughty on Christmas. Santa sees my every move," he said in between kisses, grinning against her skin. She chuckled.

"Let's keep this inside the bedroom, then," she seductively said, playing with the elastic of his pajama pants and catching a glimpse of his erection, biting her lower lip in excitement. Just the sight of him ready for her had her juices flowing. The wetness in between her thighs could not be denied.

House was about to pick her up when he noticed something.

"You're drinking tea," he said, eyebrows knitting.

"Way to ruin the mood," she dryly said, kissing his neck in hopes of distracting him into having his wicked way with her.

"But you're," he emphasized, frowning at the mug, "drinking," he tilted it so that it faced them, "tea! In the morning!" Then it hit him. She'd been drinking tea for quite some time now. His brows furrowed more. But it looked a bit trembling as her distracting kisses worked their wiles on him.

"And it's a big deal, why?" she asked against his ear, licking his lobe as she ran her nails against his scalp.

House was going to ask about it once again but stopped himself. He had time later on to ask about it. First thing's first. He sighed, letting go, and placed his hands under her legs.

"You're right," he said as he carried her to the bedroom. They kissed as he carried her along the hallway. Cuddy took her top off halfway there.

He gently laid her down on the bed before taking his clothes off and helping her get rid of her shorts.

He knelt in front of her, meeting her eyes before he dipped his head down to taste her, his tongue flattening against her entrance. She gasped upon contact, her hands instantly going to the back of his head. He hummed against her, the vibration coercing her juices to keep coming. She arched her back as he flicked his tongue at her clit, over and over again in varying speeds.

He introduced a finger into her, testing her readiness. It easily slipped inside her so he added another, his tongue never stopping its pleasuring her.

She started humming, moaning and crying out in random bursts as he incessantly tasted and sucked on her. Her juices tasted like nectar on his lips. He moaned into her, sending her careening into nirvana. He continued his ministrations until she relaxed, her body jerking once in a while.

He gave her entrance one last kiss before he kissed and licked his way up her body, pausing to pay homage to her glorious breasts.

He kissed her mouth as he slid inside her in one strong thrust. She cried out at the delicious mixture of pain and pleasure, whimpering against the crook of his neck.

"You okay?" he asked her before he started moving again when she nodded. He started moving slowly, giving her time to adjust.

It didn't take long before their pace quickened and House started making stronger and faster thrusts into her, her velvety channel welcoming him again and again with tight walls clamping on his engorged shaft. He groaned every time she clutched onto him with her muscles, the friction driving him feverish with need.

He sat on his haunches, pulling her up so that she was vertical and pushing herself down on him. She threw her head back as the legs she had wrapped around him clung tighter. She bounced up and down on him, their lips kissing uncoordinatedly as she impaled herself on his length. He was hitting a spot she never knew existed, driving her to the point of no return. She was coming. So was he. The position rendered her tighter, causing her to envelope him like a second skin.

Minutes later, she threw her head back as he vigorously rubbed her clit. Her back arched and he supported it. He groaned into the valley in between her breasts while she cried out, their eyes rolling into the back of their heads.

Together, they came hard, their orgasms wracking their body. Cuddy's walls clamped tightly on him, milking him for every drop and she moaned as he exploded inside of her.

He carefully laid her back down onto the mattress, sagging on her still panting body.

She carefully pushed him on his side, wrapping an arm around his waist while she lathered his neck with wet kisses and nips.

"I love you," she whispered drowsily, a satisfied smile on her face.

"I love you too," he replied, running his fingers through her damp wild curls.

_**

* * *

9 AM**_

Cuddy sat on the bed, wrapped with the duvet. She waited with a smile as he fetched his hidden Christmas gift. "Where'd you hide it?" she called out, grinning as she reached for the toast on the tray beside her.

Breakfast in bed never gets old.

It was even sweeter when there was an event or a celebration.

"It's a secret!" he replied from what she thought was the linen closet. Damn, that's why she didn't find it, Cuddy thought.

"You're giving it to me anyway!"

"It's your house, I'm sure you could tell where my voice is coming from at the moment!" he said, grinning.

"It's _ours _now!" she pouted at him when he came in.

"Fine, _ours,_" he said, bending forward to peck her on the lips. He couldn't believe how blooming she's been the past couple of days. Then again, she was always stunning.

He handed her his gift: a small envelope.

"I hope it's a check," she dryly mumbled as she tore the side.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed in surprise as she saw the words written on the plane tickets she pulled out from the envelope.

"House," she looked at him, her eyes misting up in joy and surprise. "How did you know?"

"Saw it as your screensaver," he shrugged, sitting beside her.

She kissed him on the lips for a good twenty seconds before setting her face in the crook of his neck. "That was years ago," she smiled fondly.

"Good memory," he winked. She giggled then looked down at the tickets again. They were going to Mon Saint Michel. It didn't matter if it was months from now. They were going. She smiled brightly and kissed him again.

"Thank you," she breathed when they broke the kiss.

"Where's mine?" he asked her whiningly. Cuddy smiled before patting his cheek. "Just a sec," she said.

Cuddy turned to pull the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a small, blue box. She timidly handed it to him. He looked at her a second, wondering why she was acting a bit suspicious.

House opened the lid and his eyes widened in shock.

He let himself absorb the meaning before letting himself smile a little despite the fears that had taken hold of him. The fears got moved to the back of his mind as he absorbed the fact.

That's why she was drinking tea...

Baby Nikes.

"Merry Christmas, House," Cuddy smiled, tears in her eyes as her eyes met his surprised and excited baby blue eyes.

"You're going to be a Daddy!"


	37. Concessions

_**Special thanks to my beloved Penelope S Cartwright for being an awesome whiteboard and honest beta :D Go read her fic, Lie To Me, people! ;) Made of win ;) **_

_**A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! :D**_

_Sorry it took a bit too long to update. I'm taking Absence really seriously (lol, so serious that I have it beta'd now!) ;) AND I've been back to Uni since Monday and we have a lot of requirements to meet. Anyway, don't worry, there are times when Absence JUST NAGS me to write. ;) _

_Thank you so much for the feedback on the last two chapters! :D As I've said, it'll be slightly fast-paced from this chapter onward... _

_**Hope you guys are still here for the ride! Please leave a rev to lemme know what you think :D**_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 36: CONCESSIONS**_

_**.**_

_**February 25**_

It's been two months since Cuddy had surprised him with dark blue baby Nikes. Two months since he started thinking about how serious they were. How serious _he _was. About being a father to her—_their… _child. The last time he had impregnated her, he was but blind to the need and want for her happiness alone. He knew that if it had worked back then, he wouldn't have been attached and would have been but a spectator as the kid grew, or until Cuddy confronted him about the real father of her child.

But that was a year and some months ago. All had been forgiven. Not forgotten, though. It was the beginning of the end of their adamancy to try for a relationship. How they finally came together would not be forgotten. Not ever.

He sat on the couch, staring off at a distance. The thought that he would actually have a kid had been repetitively sneaking into his mind for the past few days. Who would have thought that _the _Gregory House would procreate?

A part of him was happy for Cuddy and himself. She was finally having another shot at motherhood. However, a huge part of him was scared shitless. He didn't know how to raise a kid. And based on his experience with his father, he had none to give to his own kid. What he only knew was the things he shouldn't do: the things done to him by his own father.

_"Yours is the only child I want."_

Those were the words she so honestly told him back at the seminar. His child. Theirs. Those words entailed so much hope, so much expectation that he found himself sweating bullets as he stared out at a distance.

He was afraid of becoming his father. He was frightened of screwing up. He feared screwing up his kid.

He knew at some point, he would, but she'd be there.

She'd always be.

_**

* * *

March 3, 12MN**_

"I thought I was the only one up," Cuddy mumbled as she sat beside House on the couch. She sidled up beside him, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I thought you were already asleep," he said, setting the book he'd been reading on his lap with one hand, while the other automatically came to rest around her shoulders. He started running lazy circles on her arm as she molded herself into him more.

"I was," she answered, closing her eyes and taking in his scent. She settled a hand on his torso and her other low on her own stomach. She wasn't showing yet. House had been cracking jokes about her being the only woman he knew who was ecstatic about going up many dress sizes. She didn't care. She was ecstatic: nothing and no one could rain on her parade.

They sat in silence, House having gone back to reading the book.

"Did I wake you?" he suddenly asked, eyes still on the book, though his forehead creased a bit in concern.

"No," she answered. She felt him reading beside her but that was before she fell asleep and before he had decided to just move to the living room and continue reading there. She yawned. She'd been having a hard time sleeping, lately. "Woke up," she yawned again, covering her mouth with a hand. "Bad dream." She internally shuddered upon remembering. It had seemed so real, so frightening.

"Mind sharing?" he asked, peeling his eyes away from his book and looking down at her. He kissed the crown of her head, waiting for a reply. She shook her head, telling him that it wasn't a good one and that she'd rather forget about it. She felt him nod against her head, accepting that she didn't want to tell him.

Once again, silence blanketed them for a while. A comfortable silence; so peaceful that she would have slept right then and there had she not been so tired.

But then she frowned against his chest, her head having slid down from his neck. "What if I miscarry again?" she asked, out of the blue. Uneasiness permeated the air around them and she shivered. She didn't know how she'd handle another miscarriage. His fingers threaded through her locks stilled for a moment before continuing as he thought of what to tell her.

"I don't know," he said, at loss for any other words. He couldn't tell her that she won't because there was a chance that she would. As much as he wanted to calm her nerves, he didn't want to use false hope. He wasn't that kind of person. He'd rather go with the truth.

"I hope I don't," she whispered in a small voice, unable to hide her fear. She inhaled deeply as she caressed her lower stomach, silently asking their developing kid to hang on tight for them. Because she really wanted to meet him or her, she wanted to love and nurture the miracle growing inside of her.

He set the book on the space beside him and joined her roaming hand, interlacing their fingers. He wished it would reach full term. As frightened as he was, he wanted to do this, with her. She would be the only one able to rein him in, calm him down and reassure him when his fears and doubts cloud over his judgment about willingly taking part in raising a kid—their kid. She was the only one who could keep him on his feet and not screw this up entirely.

Only her.

"Yeah," he found himself saying, looking down at her stomach. She wasn't showing yet. And she hasn't gained any much weight, praising the Porcelain God in their bathroom in the mornings. Sadly, her morning sickness had continued at the hospital. He knew it was making her all the more tired. And for some reason, he was thankful that he wasn't working for her at that time. What with all his insanity and his talent of making her stress soar to the roofs with his procedures and whatnot. As the days and weeks passed by, he'd been trying a lot harder not to stress her out. Her job was doing it for him—not that he wanted her stressed.

"Well, everything's going smooth and well, so far," she whispered, a dreamy smile on her face as she remembered that first few trips they had to her OB. They haven't seen much yet but hearing those heartbeats greeting her so strongly and smoothly soothed her, calmed her, and invigorated her burning desire for a family. Those heartbeats reminded her that in a few months, she'd have one— a complete family.

Her baby, according to her OB and House's _need_ to double check, despite it not being his specialty, was growing and developing accordingly. Cuddy herself was okay. There were no complications arising yet. They both prayed it would stay that way.

"That's good news, isn't it?" he rhetorically inquired, closing his eyes.

"I don't want to get my hopes up just yet, but…"

House let out a small smirk. "You just can't help yourself?" he offered teasingly.

Guilty as charged, Cuddy let out a small grin. She looked up at him, his eyes soft as they met hers. As she got lost in those cerulean orbs, she wondered how they got to where they were at that moment; together, in love, living together, and talking about their child-to-be.

"Something on my face?" he asked, slightly getting self-conscious at her gaze. She shook her head, choosing to remain silent. She slid a hand to his nape and pulled his head down so that their lips could meet. She kissed him, thanking him for everything. When they parted she smiled ethereally _for _him and buried her face in the crook of his neck, kissing the space before nuzzling it.

House would have commented on how cuddly she was that night, but for once, he chose to remain silent, embracing the comfortable silence and the intimacy they were engaged in. Funny, once she let herself to believe he wasn't capable of neither romance nor intimacy. It always made her feel like a teenager whenever he did something romantic. She guessed it was because of her sex. Women.

"Come on," he encouraged, unwrapping his arm from her and slowly sitting up, "let's get you and your spawn to bed." He smirked as she pouted at him.

"_Our,_" she corrected with the same pout, letting him off of the 'spawn' remark. She knew he just liked saying it to tease her.

House rolled his eyes to tease her a bit more, grinning mischievously as she scowled at him whilst he helped her get up from the couch. She took his hand despite their banter, leading him to the bedroom, sleep calling her more urgently.

When they got settled, he pulled her to him, her back against his broad chest, her backside molded into his front. He snaked a hand under the side of her neck, offering it as a pillow. He knew she loved it. She smiled as he slid a protective hand in front of her stomach, a few inches lower, and stroking her there with the pad of his thumb.

Her eyes closed and her smile remained. He was there, frightened and anxious as she knew he was; he was still there. The things one might think House would never be capable of giving in this or the next life: support, love, comfort, security and so much more. She knew he'd flat-out deny it if she brought it to the table. Nevertheless, he never stopped being as he was:

Just House… and more.

_**

* * *

March 23, 3:46 PM**_

She stared, horror-stricken, at the sight of her own blood staining her undergarment.

There were red spots.

She braced herself on the sink with a trembling hand, her complexion turning pale as her mind went over what ifs. She was spotting and experiencing cramps. Not too strong or near unbearably painful, but she was cramping all the same.

And it terrified her.

Her free hand protectively cradled her barely noticeable bump, wanting but helpless to do anything else to protect the life growing inside her day by day. "Stay with me," she pleaded in a soft whisper. She exited the bathroom and walked towards their bed, seemingly in a trance.

She carefully settled herself under the covers, reaching for her phone on the bedside table. She hadn't been able to go to work that day due to her morning sickness which had been recurring from the morning until an hour or two, after lunch.

She had already called him an hour ago, her voice trembling as she spoke, letting him know of her plight. He told her he'd be there in less than an hour.

She couldn't believe that it might be happening again. She recalled having daydreamed about being pregnant, eight months ago and dreaming of how her and House's child would look like. She had been so eager to finally be a mother.

But, as she lay there, her hopes of being one were slowly being burnt away just as her heart was burning at that moment from not knowing what was truly happening. She hoped she was still pregnant by the end of the day. She _prayed_.

A few minutes later she heard him enter the front door, his footsteps quiet but swift as he made his way to her. She opted to keep her eyes closed as she waited for him to get to her. Seconds later, she felt the bed dip and a hand gently brushing hair away from her pale face.

She opened her eyes and met his heavenly blue ones. He stroked her tearstained cheeks and kissed her forehead so tenderly that she wanted to breakdown and cry in his arms, but it wasn't the time for that. There wasn't time for tears, yet.

"I'm spotting," she whispered into his palm, not waiting for him to speak. She repeated what she had already told him over the phone, adding more details now.

"Light or heavy?" he asked seriously, his brows furrowing as he wracked his brain for possible explanations—for _other _possible explanations. He didn't want to conclude that she might miscarry, not yet. He was the father of the kid she was carrying, god damn it.

"Light," she answered, stroking her belly whilst she took comfort from his voice.

"And I'm cramping," she added.

"Do you want to go to your OB?" he asked, gauging whether she'd go without him pushing her into going because he didn't really care about what she thought about at that moment. She had to get checked out and if he wanted to be at least some semblance of a normal father, he had to start at that moment.

Cuddy was terrified, knowing that she'd find out if there was even a sliver of a chance that she'd carry her baby to term or none at all. She was afraid of getting checked out, but she had to. Her and their child's health was a priority. And the top spot on Cuddy's priority list was her unborn child.

She nodded her head hesitantly before taking in and releasing a deep, shuddering breath.

He nodded curtly before carefully easing her out of the bed. "Go get dressed, I'll start the car." He quickly made it to the bedroom's door, but stopped and turned towards her slowly retreating form. "Or do you need help?" he inquired, his lips firming into a thin line as he awaited her reply. She told him that she'd manage dressing herself up despite the pain so he relented and exited the room. He checked all doors and windows in the house, making sure he locked and secured everything but the front door before making his way to her car.

About ten minutes later, she stepped out of the front door, locking it behind her before joining him in the car.

He glanced at her, helpless, as he took in her red-rimmed eyes, full of fear as she gazed out the window. She lowered her head and took in a shuddering breath as another cramp-like sensation lashed at her insides, leaving imprints of fear in its wake, searing her very flesh.

"What if—" a tear fell from her eye even though she struggled not to cry, her loose-fitting skirt absorbing it.

He took her hand, squeezing it tightly and brought it up to his lips. She looked at him then, raising her head to gaze at him. He was trying to be strong for her, for them. She didn't know how she could have gone through that miscarriage of hers a year ago, without him by her side.

He kissed her knuckles and told her that _she'd _be fine. No reassurances about their child. He had none to offer for he, himself, wasn't certain about anything regarding it. "We'll have you checked out," he whispered, kissing her forehead as he pulled her into his arms, reminding her that she wasn't alone anymore. That he was with her.

He pulled away and strapped the seatbelt accordingly for her before securing himself with his.

Cuddy felt her lower stomach with both hands as she stared out the window again.

"Hang on in there, Baby," her mind spoke to the life inside of her.

"Please," she could hear her soft, soft voice begging inside of her, "Please keep holding on… for Mommy and Daddy."

_**

* * *

4:35 PM, Princeton General**_

"Lisa, I need you to try and calm down," Cuddy's OB, Dr. Owen, told her as she took Cuddy's file from the nurse who handed it to her. Her patient had been trembling the moment they got to her office, asking for her. Cuddy's face was pale from fright and her eyes were red-rimmed. From where she sat, she saw Cuddy staring at the picture she had printed out from them. Both parents were relieved to find out that their kid was hanging in there, strong and developing healthily, so far.

"From the physical exams we just did, I can infer that the possible cause of your spotting was the stress. Some people normally experience light spotting but you're cervix seems normal and wasn't the cause of it. So, stress. You're a doctor, yourself, Lisa, I'm sure you know how dangerous it is for pregnant women to be under its clutches. And you're more vulnerable to it since you're also high risk due to your age," Owen professionally said, glancing from House to Cuddy as she spoke. "I deduced the main cause is stress and fatigue—that is until the tests we got states otherwise. If the tests tell us there's something else, stress may still be a factor that contributed to your cramps and spotting."

Cuddy listened intently, her eyes never leaving the grainy picture of the little life growing inside her. Their baby didn't leave. That made her heart flutter and her mouth smile. She was beyond relieved.

Dr. Owen relayed more information to the couple, House surprisingly not interrupting, just listening. The OB asked her if there were other symptoms that could possibly be of concern and Cuddy told her that there was nothing other than the cramping and light spotting. The doctor prescribed Cuddy with a safe pain reliever for the cramps and some vitamins to help her.

Twenty minutes later, when Dr. Owen was done ordering a few more tests just to be sure, she looked at Cuddy with a stern and concerned face. "Lisa, I suggest you take time off from work. If you continue getting stressed and fatigued, I'm sure you know that it directly affects your baby. Take maybe five to eight weeks off, see me once every two weeks, and we'll see how it goes from there."

She noticed how Cuddy's face hardened slightly and she understood how the woman was connected to her job so she took a deep breath and said, "I know bed rest is a lot to ask of you, considering your position and responsibilities at Plainsboro, but I really do think it'd be better if you take time off, for this pregnancy. After all, it's the most successful out of all the attempts you've made in the past. We must, of course, consider your history, after all."

_**

* * *

6 PM**_

"No, I won't do it!" Cuddy firmly exclaimed for the third time that day. She had said it once to her OB, then a second time to him while they were in the car, driving back from the hospital.

They had been over it multiple times but House just couldn't knock some sense into her rotund, pregnant ass. They had been over it multiple times but House just couldn't knock some sense into her rotund, pregnant had immediately rushed into her OB's exam room at 4:15 and relayed all of Cuddy's current symptoms. The OB cited stress and fatigue as Cuddy's problem rather than some condition that threatened the life of their child. Her doctor had strictly advised her to take a break from work to get bed rest for a few weeks. Her blood pressure became elevated at work, the stress and fatigue causing her to spot. Of course, Cuddy didn't give a shit about the stress because she's been so used to it, being the Dean of Medicine and all. But House knew better. She didn't get to play Superwoman this time, come hell or high water.

His gestating spawn was fine—it was Cuddy being stressed out from work among other things which caused her to be more tired than usual. The stress and fatigue caused her spotting. The doctor had recommended vitamins and something safe for the cramps and the spotting.

"So…" House huffed in a frustrated breath. He was keeping his temper in check, not wanting to aggravate her, though he was at the end of his temper's rope at her stubbornness. He couldn't believe she was actually being more stubborn than him at that moment. "You won't leave your hospital in _capable _hands, but you'll ignore your doctor's orders and _not _go on bed rest for _that _kid growing inside you?" he inquired disdainfully, his voice gruff and serious. His fingers massaged his temple as he fought his itching need to use another tactic to make her see sense.

"Do you _really _want this kid, Cuddy?" he asked her, disbelief lacing his voice, finally jumping off the edge of patience and restraint. He had to open her eyes to what she was unconsciously doing in announcing that she didn't want to and won't go on bed rest.

Her head snapped in his direction and she glared at him, sapphire eyes blazing into grayish orbs filled with a mixture of hurt and anger. "How could you ask me that?" she hissed, approaching him to stand in front of him, tilting her head up to meet his eyes. She poked him in the chest with a finger, saying, "How _dare _you even _think _about asking me that?" She was more hurt than angry, but the anger steered her system.

"How dare _I_?" House exclaimed incredulously, straightening his stance and whipping his head from side to side, shaking it in disbelief. "You're the one practically threatening your unborn child's life by choosing your _stressful _job! If you're as serious as you let on, we wouldn't even be having this conversation because you would have already chosen your kid in a god damn heartbeat!" he said, his voice getting lower and softer as he finished. He was feeling vulnerable being the one standing up for their kid, being the rational one. _She _was supposed to be the rational person. He was trying his best to be supportive and nice but seeing her not even thinking of her kid just because of her job being threatened by bed rest got to him. It made him question many things.

It made him question himself and his commitment to this… relationship and impending parenthood.

Or was he thinking too much? Maybe he was just being paranoid…? He knew that he _would _be there for her and for their kid. No matter how incompetent he thought he would be as a father, he'd try his best not to screw up all the time. That was why he was placing his trust on Cuddy to be the one with both feet on the ground, pulling him to her and grounding him whenever his feelings of inadequacy pervaded his thoughts… because there would come a time when he'd feel the need to run.

"I've been trying here, Cuddy. I want what you want, too. But if you want a kid so damn much, you won't be choosing your job over it at a time like this," he sighed disappointedly, feeling like an idiot. "Maybe there's a reason you keep failing at being a Mom, the natural way," he mumbled morosely as he looked down at the floor before walking towards the bedroom.

Cuddy stood there, staring and glaring at him unwaveringly until he disappeared into the bedroom they shared. A tear fell from her eye as the weight of what he said crashed down on her like a slap in the face. The tears threatening to fall from her eyes rendered her unable to continue glaring at the direction he had taken, and she wiped at the tears that slowly fell from her eyes.

She couldn't believe he just said what she had heard him say…

But he was right.

She moved to the couch, sitting down and relaxing her back against it. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down her breathing, a hand on her stomach. But for some reason that escaped her, as her hand slipped under the loose shirt she was wearing and grazed her bump, her shoulders shook as she started sobbing silently.

House was right.

She couldn't blame him for finally cracking. She had been too stubborn. Too stubborn that she forgot about what was truly important to her. She glanced down at her navel, caressing the area beneath it before closing her eyes. She couldn't believe she had implied that she'd choose her job over securing their child's survival. What kind of mother would she be?

Painful as the words he left her with may have been, they were probably true. Maybe all her previous pregnancies failed because she chose to work and didn't _really _pay attention to what her body and baby needed then. She was always tightened hard like a bolt, strung tightly like a guitar, and stressed out so much, because of her job and all the responsibilities and headaches it entailed. Maybe that was one of the reasons why she either miscarried or her IVFs didn't take.

She bit her lower lip, worrying it in between her teeth as she mulled over her final decision.

She needed to focus on what she truly wanted. Her job would be waiting for her. She just had to hire a temporary replacement for her or appoint a representative for the hospital while she was on bed rest.

More or less two months… of bed rest. God, what would she make of her time? She doubted House would allow her to work from home. He knew how stressful her job could be and how strenuous it was despite seeming easy. Well, Cuddy did make it look easy from time to time. She was just that good.

She knew she couldn't afford getting too stressed out. Her job would make her so. Who knew? Maybe it'd be less than two months. Maybe she'd be well enough to work from home in a month. She hoped.

If she wanted to make this work this time around, she had to be willing and ready to make both small and big sacrifices. It wasn't easy, but she had to do best by herself and her child.

She glanced at the hallway that led to the bedroom. Should she let him cool off first or should she apologize and thank him immediately?

She bit her bottom lip in consideration, glancing longingly at the hallway. The sooner she spoke to him, the better, she finally decided.

She inhaled deeply before standing from the couch. She made her way to the room, silently padding towards the door. She pushed it carefully, the door making no noise at all. His back was to her, his face buried in his hands. She frowned and her eyes softened apologetically.

"House?" she called out in a whisper as she approached him. He didn't acknowledge nor refute her presence. She sighed before crawling on top of the bed, making her way to him. She tried to gauge his current temper by gazing at how tensed his posture was or how defeated it looked. She felt like an idiot.

Her hands gently, tentatively, laid flat on his back, and she felt relief course through her when he let out a sigh, slowly relaxing under her touch. She sat behind him, her legs parallel on both sides of his. She wrapped her arms around him, embracing him and placing a soft kiss on his nape. She felt the tension in his body dissipate a few seconds later.

"You're right," she whispered, planting another kiss onto his nape. "This won't work, not really, if I don't put it first," she elaborated, squeezing him tighter, wanting to feel the warmth of his body seeping into her own.

"And?" he asked expectantly, his voice low. She let out a thankful and relieved smile when he reached for one of her hands, clasping it with his own.

She turned her face and slid it down his back so she could hear his heart beating inside of him."I'll go on bed rest for maybe two months, and we'll see how it goes from there," she whispered, suddenly finding herself sleepy, his heartbeats lulling her towards it. She was still a bit hesitant to leave her first "baby", but if she wanted her _real _baby to have a chance at life, she had to hand over her position and the job she loved doing, temporarily.

"Thank you," House found himself whispering into her palm, kissing the center of it. He was thankful that she acquiesced. It told him that he wasn't the only one adjusting and making concessions for the life growing inside her.

They maintained the intimate silence blanketing the room until House broke through it. "Too bad, we probably won't be able to have sex for quite some time," he whistled, but grinning mischievously.

"Don't worry, I'll ask my doctor about oral sex," Cuddy replied in deadpan.

House pretended to be placated by this as he looked back at her eagerly. "Really?" he asked, an eyebrow arched for effect. Cuddy pecked him on the lips once before laying her head on his shoulder blade, smiling fondly where he couldn't see her.

"No."


	38. Waiting on An Angel

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company._

_**A/N: Whoa, where were the others last chapter? *pouts* Come on, be my source of inspiration, people!**_

_Sorry for the late update! Uni's been a killjoy! Anyway, here you go, long chapter, freshly beta'd from Penny's comp. LoL. Thanks again, Pen! :D Oh and, readers, go read her new oneshot! I've heard it's hot and smutty! ;D_

_Next chapter will be up on or before Sunday, next week. :)_

_Drop a review, let me know what you think! You've no idea how it fuels my imagination(for your benefit)! ;)  
_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 37: WAITING ON AN ANGEL**_

_**.**_

_**April 2, 8 AM**_

"House!" Cuddy called out anxiously from the toilet seat where she sat, staring at her underwear—the way she always did in the morning.

"House!" she called out again, more urgently. She trailed her eyes from her underwear to the door, waiting for him t o come bursting into the bathroom.

"What, what's wrong?" House asked, rushing into the bathroom and meeting Cuddy's eyes. They weren't distressed, to his utter relief. They were… grateful, to say the least.

"It stopped," she smiled widely, relieved. "I haven't been spotting since yesterday!" she told him, her voice celebrative.

House rubbed his face with his hand. He thought something bad had happened.

"Next time you call me with your panties down, make sure I get something out of it," he told her, walking towards her to plant a kiss on her forehead before heading to the sink.

She stared at his back, feeling that sense of domesticity wrap around her as she took in the funny domestic image of her on the toilet seat and him non-awkwardly brushing his teeth in her presence. She pulled up her undergarment and shorts, and got off of the seat and stood behind him. She looked at him through the mirror and laid her head on his back.

"Good morning," she greeted. He grunted in return, unable to reply since he was busy brushing. She inhaled his scent, the mixture of their detergent and the natural male scent of him making her feel so at home.

"I'm going to make us breakfast," she said, her voice soft as she brushed his shoulder with a hand before exiting the bathroom.

House watched from the mirror as she disappeared from his line of sight in the mirror. Domesticity… yeah he liked it. Yes, sometimes they drove each other to the brink of insanity, but everything was worth it. He hoped their kid would be able to live with their kind of normal.

_**

* * *

**_

"I find it unfair that I don't get to have coffee but you do," Cuddy muttered under her breath as she stared at him, sipping the content of his mug, sitting across from her. House merely arched a brow her way, smirking all the while keeping his eyes on the pad he was using as his whiteboard, scribbling symptoms.

Cuddy ate her breakfast while gazing at her lover, admiring his genius. She liked the way his brows furrowed in thought, his forehead creasing.

"Stop burning a hole in my cranium, Cuddy," House muttered at her, raising his head a bit to look at her. She smiled at him, almost shyly. She extended her hand, grabbed him, fisting his shirt, and pulled him to her. He had no choice but to stand a bit—better than getting choked by a pregnant woman. He was met by her luscious lips, kissing him. She moaned, needy, as she tasted the coffee on his mouth as her tongue met his. He kissed her back just as hungrily, his hand cupping her jaw, his thumb caressing what it could reach. They kissed for a few seconds before House pulled away, pecking her on the tip of her nose before sitting back down.

"So… what boring things will we be doing today, preggo?"

Cuddy glared at him, a protective hand on her stomach.

It was going to be a lazy Sunday.

_**

* * *

April 24, 9:45 AM**_

"God, woman, can't a man sleep?" House whined dramatically as he entered the bathroom, seeing his pregnant girlfriend curled over the porcelain god. Cuddy practically ignored his existence as she heaved into the bowl again. He sighed, running a hand across his face.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked, her eyes red-rimmed as she met his eyes, lowering her head to rest it on her arm.

"You look like crap," he murmured, reaching for a face towel. "Thanks," she sarcastically replied in a hoarse voice. He soaked the towel with water and wrung it so it became damp. He knelt in front of her, their eyes meeting.

Her breathing was a bit labored from the heaving and throwing up so she really wasn't in the mood to talk. It didn't matter though. House was soothing her with his actions and gestures. It was all the communication and connection they needed at the moment.

He properly folded the towel before wiping her slightly sweaty forehead and face. She sighed, smiling apologetically at the face he made upon smelling her breath.

When he finished wiping her face to cool her off a bit, he bent down to her stomach's level and told their gestating kid, "You're a bad, bad fetus, making Mommy sick." His tone was light and playful, his index and middle fingers running along the bulge. "Only Daddy gets to be mean," he added, smirking.

Cuddy let out a smile, her eyes closed. He rarely talked to her stomach. He always claimed that only idiots did it. So, whenever he spoke to it, he always pretended to be joking or sarcastic.

"Don't talk to my baby that way," she defended in a murmur, eyes still closed, trying to stop her stomach from continuing the churning sensation.

"We need to start early with discipline. Kid needs to know only Daddy has the right to mess with Mommy," he smirked at her, tilting his head up to meet hers. He watched as her eyes slowly fluttered open and her lips curled up into an ethereal smile. She didn't dare breath.

Their eyes stayed locked onto each other's for a while, cerulean on sapphire.

Minutes later she started heaving again, House rubbing soothing and gentle circles along the small of her back.

She was thankful that she had somebody.

She had _him_, the one she's always wanted to be with.

She had House.

About fifteen minutes later, she finally stood, trembling slightly. She walked towards the sink, intent on rinsing her mouth. House flushed the toilet for her, setting down the toilet seat—he honestly didn't know what it was with women and toilet seats—for her.

_**

* * *

May 9, 4 PM**_

"Cuddy, what are you doing here? You're supposed—"

"I don't have time for your lectures, Dr. Wilson. Now, if you'd excuse me, I need to have a word with Dr. Bishop. I've got a few bones to pick with him," Cuddy professionally said, her voice laced with an undertone of sweltering rage as she walked briskly to her office—her _defiled_ office.

She was going to kill Bishop!

Wilson knew better than to get in Cuddy's way when she was that mad. She rarely was. Her rage was justifiable; Bishop _had _been accepting quite a number of women into his office when the hospital was at its quietest: night. His string of women and liaisons with prostitutes had been the juiciest gossip since Cuddy's pregnancy—he wasn't quite subtle about it, the bastard. It was strictly unprofessional and downright idiotic, to say the least.

Wilson followed Cuddy while he speed-dialed House's mobile. He made sure to stay outside Cuddy's office, just watching to make sure she didn't do something stupid as she gave Bishop an earful while he informed House.

"House," the diagnostician greeted. His voice was gruff and bored. His team had no new case, so he was stuck doing paperwork while praying for some patient to come in.

"It's Wilson."

House rolled his eyes, smirking. "I kinda got that when Dancing Queen filled my eerie office," he answered sarcastically.

"It's Cuddy," Wilson started, knowing the seriousness in his voice would definitely catch House's attention.

"She's at Plainsboro. Someone told her about what Bishop's been doing at night," Wilson explained.

House palmed his face, not knowing whether to be concerned, angry, or both. Cuddy should have known better than to storm into the hospital when she was strictly advised to rest. That woman would be the death of him. He had known of the issue for quite some time now, but he didn't want Cuddy to know about it. He now feared that she would become way too stressed. And that was a very bad thing.

"I'm on my way. Keep an eye on her." He hung up and quickly gathered his things before logging out of work early and making his way to Plainsboro.

_**

* * *

**_

"Why, Dr. Cuddy! So nice of you to drop by! How is—"

Cuddy was in no mood for small talk and beating around the bush. She cut him off, her voice dangerous as she said, "Cut the crap, Steven."

"What—"

"I cannot believe I picked _you _to take my place while I was gone!" she seethed, glaring daggers at him.

Bishop's brows furrowed, though his insides were churning. "Dr. Cuddy, I don't think I—"

"Don't think!" she held up a hand, silencing him. Cuddy took a deep breath. "I have had enough of your crap! I can overlook what you did, as long as your transactions happened _outside _my hospital! But no, you had the gall to turn _my _hospital into your private whorehouse! Bringing your… women here—NO! That is zero tolerance!" her eyes were aflame, her skin was flushed from anger.

"Are you telling me you believe those people?" he incredulously said, his hand gesturing towards her office doors. She knew he was lying through his teeth. He was sweating, his hand was trembling, and his face was flushed.

"Get your things out of my office by Monday!" she commanded and a finger rose threateningly. "This office's renovation will come out from your paycheck for this month. I want you to have _my _desk refurbished—god knows what kind of filth stuck there by now!"

Cuddy stepped forward, her eyes deadly as Medusa's. She poked him in the chest, her eyes never blinking as she stuck her final words to him as she would a knife if she had one.

"You. Are. Fired, Dr. Bishop. And don't even think about asking me for a recommendation."

With those parting words, Cuddy turned to leave, her head up high.

_**

* * *

**_

"Hey, are you alright?" Wilson asked Cuddy as she swayed a little as they got off the elevator. He gently cradled her elbow, leading her to his office. She said nothing and allowed him to lead her to his couch. She wasn't alright.

"Could you please call House?" she requested, her voice quiet and trembling a little.

Cuddy wasn't feeling well after that bout with Bishop. Yes, she felt a great sense of fulfillment upon firing that scumbag, but she ended up feeling like shit. Her head was pounding. All she wanted was to go home.

"He's on his way," Wilson informed her, looking a bit guilty as it dawned on Cuddy that he had already called House while she was dealing with Bishop.

Cuddy sighed heavily, cradling her aching head.

"Do you need anything? Something for the headache…?" Wilson asked her, concerned at the way she was quietly whimpering.

She shook her head. She just wanted to get home.

For some reason, she hated herself for having exploded. She could have handled the bastard professionally. She didn't really want to blame her pregnancy but it was the one thing she could blame… damned hormones. She removed her hands from her head and gently laid them on her stomach, caressing the life inside it. She apologized for having acted so brazenly. She knew House was going to kill her for this.

Wilson left her to her thoughts, pulling the door closed behind him. He stood outside his door for about ten minutes before finally deciding to meet House at the front desk. But when he was about to head towards the elevator, he saw House walking as fast as he could.

And he wasn't happy at all.

Before House could walk past him, Wilson held onto his arm. "Do _not_ snap at her for this," Wilson ordered him, his eyes serious. "She feels like hell. She's trembling and her blood pressure's probably boiling right now. The last thing she needs is your anger or whatever the hell else you think." House glared at him before letting loose a little. A second later, he nodded, taking a deep breath and exhaling through his nose.

"I'll leave you two alone. Call me if you need me," Wilson told his best friend, walking towards the Nurse's Station when House nodded and thanked him.

House opened the door to Wilson's office, popping his head in to see what she was doing. She was settled on the couch, on her side, with her eyes closed. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her lips were pursed—he hoped, not in pain.

She must have heard the door close because she opened her eyes and looked up at him. She bit her lower lip before bowing her head, not really sure how to act around him yet. Surely he had heard of her outburst.

"Sorry," she mumbled, gathering the courage to look into his eyes which were swirling with too many emotions that she felt even worse for what she'd done. She should have thought before she acted. She almost forgot that she was carrying their kid. Upon hearing from many witnesses, including Wilson's confirmation after she asked him if he'd known about the issue, she just got up and dressed, called for a cab, and made her way to Princeton Plainsboro, hell-bent on firing her interim dean. She was so mad that she forgot that she was on bed rest for a particular reason.

"Cuddy…" he was about to say something but he trailed off, thinking it was best to keep quiet. He sighed heavily, gently pulling her to her feet.

"Let's just go home," he finally said. She nodded, not wanting anything more.

_**

* * *

7 PM**_

He stood behind her, just watching as she finished washing her face. He hadn't spoken much since their little yelling match in the car when he picked her up from the hospital.

She had thought that he had no idea why she was so mad as to rush to the hospital, so she told him while they were on their way home. He admitted that he knew and that he didn't tell her for her own good. That made her snap at him. She hated her hormones and her morning sickness. Those were the only things she hated about this pregnancy, truth be told.

She was washing up early, tired from her day. In her defense, she just couldn't sit at home and ignore her first baby's call, not doing anything about it— she had to fix the problem.

Of course, that didn't bode well with House when he found out through Wilson. Though she was glad that he kept himself from making matters worse by saying something her ears weren't going to welcome at that time.

"So… what did you do to Bishop?" House asked curiously.

"Fired him."

"Atta girl," House grinned at her from the mirror. She rolled her eyes, the edges of her lips almost smiling. She continued applying the facial cream onto her face while House just remained rooted behind her.

"Come on," House said when she was done, turning her in his arms.

She buried her face in his clothed chest, exhaling as the warmth of his body relaxed her like no other. She wrapped her arms around him, trying her best not to mold herself into him. "Let's get you to bed. Sleepiness makes you too hormonal and cuddly," he smirked, pretending he didn't like it.

She turned her head to the side, seeing through his snarky comment. "Maybe I was just feeling you up," she suggested flirtatiously as they walked to the bed. He climbed onto the bed first—his mistake.

She smiled seductively as she crawled towards him. But the moment she straddled him, she was an angel. She hovered over him, her bump pressing a bit against his stomach. She was so beautiful, House thought as he gazed into her stunning eyes.

He traced his fingers from her thighs to her hips, caressing every inch of skin exposed. He then placed his hands on her baby bump, feeling its roundness. Whenever he looked at other pregnant women, he felt that it was as it was. A pregnancy. But with Cuddy, whenever he chanced a glance, or whenever he held her stomach, he never failed to be hypnotized by it.

It was too good to be true and too fucking real that at times, he panicked. His brows furrowed as he unconsciously continued touching the home of his gestating kid-to-be.

Many times he's asked himself whether he could do this, become a father. Many times he'd answered himself, 'yes', and many times 'no'. Truthfully, he didn't know.

All he knew was that the life growing inside his girlfriend would, just like its mother, be his savior, his life.

And he didn't dare think of leaving, come hell or high water, despite his own personal demons.

"This stomach…" he drawled out, eyes on her belly, "in a few months, will explode. And you'll be saggy."

Cuddy bent forward to kiss his forehead, humming as she answered, "I don't give a damn."

"You will after birth," he said, running a thumb on her stomach once more before moving his hands back onto her hips.

"I want to breast feed," Cuddy told him, moving her lips to his temple. "I want to experience everything," she wistfully stated, that captivating smile he adored on her lips.

"Maybe we can try practicing breastfeeding now," House proposed with a boyish grin, his eyebrows bobbing up and down suggestively.

Cuddy chuckled breathily. She should have seen that coming. Of course he stopped listening after that breastfeeding mention. "I can't today," she said, kissing the bridge of his nose in apology. "They're sore today," she explained.

"Let me help the twins feel better then," he said, tempting her with that alluring baritone voice of his. He was about to cup her breasts but Cuddy straightened and gently swatted at his hands.

"No!" he whined, pouting at her. She smirked. He huffed. "Fine, but you owe me!" he said, his childish pout still in place.

"I don't owe you anything, Stud," Cuddy seductively said, bending forward to capture his lips. He wanted to cup at least a breast but since she claimed that her breasts were sore, he didn't.

"Stud, I really do like that name. Could you call me Stud around Wilson?" he asked in between kisses.

Cuddy shook her head.

"Could we at least record it? I wanna make it a ring tone," he commented again.

"Shut up and kiss me," she ordered, taking hold of both sides of his cheeks with her hands.

"Don't sit on me, your supertanker will squash little Greg like a bug," he said again, in between kisses, sounding more incoherent. She knew he just wanted to piss her off.

"You never complained before," she mumbled suggestively. Before he could reply, she cut him off.

"Say one more word and I'm giving you blue balls," she threatened, glaring at him in challenge.

"Your Mommy has such a short fuse!" House playfully spoke to Cuddy's belly.

Cuddy slapped his shoulder, pouting.

He met her eyes and they stared each other down, waiting for either of them to blink. Cuddy was first to do so and House grinned. "Ha! I win!" he announced childishly, running his hands on both her arms.

Cuddy sighed, exasperated. "So help me god, I'll be raising two children," she muttered, trying to get off of him.

But House moved first, swiftly but gently moving her so that her body was beneath him.

"Manhandling pregnant women isn't nice," she chastised, pouting, her hands against his chest.

"I'm a jerk."

"Yes, you are."

"This is the part where you say "But you're _my _jerk"," he instructed.

"Don't you _ever _get tired of talking?"

"Nope."

"Fine, have it your way, then," Cuddy said, pushing him off of her, not caring where and how he landed. She stood to her feet and padded towards the kitchen.

"Manhandling your baby daddy isn't nice!" he called out as he hauled himself to his feet. Well, he really wanted to get laid but her doctor—without them asking—strictly imposed a 'no nooky' rule. He _had_ to act like an ass; he didn't want to take any risks.

"Sorry, I think you forgot: I'm carrying _your _child. The least I could do is hit you when you're acting like an ass," Cuddy replied, peeking into the room, not waiting for his reply as she left for the kitchen again.

House walked to where her voice was and ended up in the kitchen. "I thought you were tired? Now you're eating ice cream?" he smirked. "And you love me being an ass," he added smugly.

"Ah, no," she said over a spoon of ice cream, smiling as her taste buds sang in elation.

"Gimme," House told her, gesturing for her to hand over the pint of Pistachio ice cream. Cuddy grinned and shook her head, backing up against the fridge.

"And no, you can't have the other one in the fridge," she told him. "Try stealing it and I'll cut your balls off with this spoon," she warned him, protective of her ice cream.

House rolled his eyes, unnerved, before coming to stand in front of her, slightly pressing her body against the fridge. He ran his fingers along her sides, staring her straight in the eyes. "Why are you being so bitchy?" he finally asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not being bitchy… I'm sexually frustrated," she corrected with a scowl, annoyed at herself for admitting it.

She was expecting him to chuckle or laugh but she heard nothing come out of his lips. Instead, she felt them on her forehead. She held her resolve for a few seconds before finally relaxing, letting out a soft sigh. She instantly melted from his proximity.

"You _know _we can't," House reminded her.

Cuddy tilted her head to the side so he could kiss the spot where her shoulder and neck met. He kissed her there once, twice, and a third time. She let out a breathy sigh, murmuring, "But I _need _you."

House stilled, his face buried on the crook of her neck. "You know we can't yet. It's still against your doctor's advice. I may love breaking the rules but we can't just break _this _one. Strenuous activity won't do you or our spawn any good," he said, his eyes soft as he looked her in the eye.

Cuddy sighed as he kissed her on the corner of her mouth, then full-on on the lips. He pulled away moments later, staring at the ice cream on the counter.

She scooped a spoonful, bringing it close to his lips. "Want some?" she asked with a shy smile.

House opened his mouth and she gently fed him the ice cream. House licked his lips and grinned at her. "Another," he said, pouting at her.

Cuddy playfully shook her head, taking another spoonful and taunting him by meticulously and alluringly licking the spoon.

He glared at her slightly. "You are an evil, evil woman," he sneered.

Cuddy grinned before sashaying past him, moving to the living room before replying.

"And don't I know it."

_**

* * *

May 11, Poker Night at Wilson's, 11 PM**_

Poker was over and done with.

House now sat with Wilson on the table, nursing a can of beer in his hand. Cuddy was already asleep because he had talked to her before she went to bed. He needn't hurry home.

Wilson, on the other hand, had his chin propped against his hand, thinking of the money he lost that night. They've been drinking while playing so the outcome for his best friend was no surprise.

They were each in their own world when House broke the silence with a question.

"What do you get your pregnant girlfriend on her birthday?"

"Who, Cuddy?" ah yes, Wilson drunk: always a great show.

"No, your Aunt Mabel," House mockingly replied. "Yes, Cuddy!" he confirmed, smirking.

"I don't know, a ring?"

_**

* * *

May 15, 3:20 PM**_

"Dr. Wilson, I left a Post It on top of your table. Someone called and asked me to leave a message. Have you seen it?" Wilson's secretary, Sheila, asked, half her body pressed against the doorframe.

Wilson shook his head slowly, uncertain of whether or not he had seen the Post It Sheila was talking about. He looked around his desk, searching for the Post It, his brows furrowing. Sheila let out a small smile before walking in and lifting the thick stack of paperwork to Wilson's left, quickly pulling out the yellow Post It with her other hand.

"Thank you, Sheila," Wilson said, his ears flushing a bit. Sheila nodded, smiling, before exiting the office.

Wilson focused his attention to the Post It sitting in front of him. His eyes widened a bit as his mind processed the name written legibly on the paper.

He quickly took hold of the phone and punched in the number written on the piece of paper. God, help him.

"Hi! It's James," Wilson greeted, fumbling with a pen.

The person on the other line greeted him back before turning serious. The person spewed out questions in rapid succession, worried and curious.

"She's alright, healthy," Wilson said, assuring the person. "Yes, she's been busy. She's been doing fine these days, well-rested. Although we're concerned that things might repeat itself—"

"What on earth are you talking about? Are you sure we're talking about the same person?"

"What?" Wilson asked, confused.

"You know something I don't. And frankly, James, I don't like it. So, please, tell me now," the person said, voice calm yet deadly. He knew _that _tone.

He was done for…

_**

* * *

May 20, 5:00 PM**_

"Oh my god, Mom, what are you doing here?" Cuddy gasped upon seeing her mother on her doorstep.

"Well, I must really be that old! Back then, we used to say "hello" upon answering doors," Arlene Cuddy replied in deadpan as she took in her daughter's shocked, but glowing appearance.

Cuddy shook her head, scolding herself for her manners. "I'm sorry, Mom, I'm just surprised to see you," Cuddy explained, allowing herself a smirk for her mother. Arlene rolled her eyes before catching her daughter's gaze for a while. She had never looked happier. She opened her arms to her and Cuddy stepped forward, embracing her mother for a moment.

"It feels good, my grandchild poking me," Arlene commented sincerely, adding a smirk in the mix. She felt her daughter tense and she internally smiled.

Cuddy's eyes widened as she pulled away from her mother. She at least had the decency to blush. With all the things she had to get done at the hospital and looking for her temporary replacement, she and House hadn't really had much time to think about other things, let alone tell other people about her pregnancy.

"I find it hard to believe that you didn't even tell your own mother!" Arlene gently admonished in disbelief. She knew they weren't really on the best of terms, but her daughter had always told her about such things.

Cuddy opened the door, wordlessly inviting her mother in. She was about to take one of the two paper bags on the doorstep but her mother beat her to it.

"Oh Honey, I'll take that," Arlene said, picking up both bags and bringing it in. "You know better than to carry heavy things in your condition."

Cuddy huffed out a breath, thinking she could have carried the bags; they seemed far from heavy. She followed her mom to the living room after closing the door behind her. She sat down next to her mom, taking in her image.

"How are you, Darling?" Arlene inquired, a soft smile gracing her face, her regal features being accentuated by it. "And tell me, how's the baby?" she added, a hand on her daughter's leg.

Cuddy tilted her head to the side, a radiant smile gracing her lips while her left hand rested on her growing bump. Whenever she was asked about her pregnancy, she never failed to break out into a smile. "I'm fine, Mom. Your grandchild is, too—developing accordingly," she told her Mom, the smile painting her face brightly, never fading. But a few seconds later, she remembered a question she had to know the answer to.

"How did you find out about it?" she asked curiously.

Arlene gave her a one-shoulder shrug and said, "Oh, when I wasn't able to get in touch with my own daughter, I decided to call a very polite On—"

"Wilson," Cuddy cut her off with a sigh. She was going to kill him. She set her right hand atop her mother's before looking her in the eye and honestly telling her, "I'm sorry, Mom. House and I have been so occupied lately. I had many things lined up to do before I was able leave the hospital to go on bed rest, assured that the hospital was well accounted for while I was gone."

"Your hospital is less than thirty minutes from here. It won't burn down while you're on bed rest," Arlene said, raising a finger to stop her daughter from interrupting her, "And speaking of which… what called for the bed rest?" she asked in concern, her lips pursing into a thin line.

"About a month ago, I experienced light spotting and cramps. My doctor strongly advised that I take time off of work to focus on my pregnancy," Cuddy relayed. She would never forget how thankful she was that the spotting had stopped a week later, along with the cramps.

"Oh Sweetheart, you ought to start taking better care of yourself and my grandchild unless you want me running interference," Arlene warned her with a smile. Cuddy rolled her eyes in reply but smiled nonetheless when her mother shook her head at her reaction.

"So… Gregory House?" her mother asked, an eyebrow arched and a smirk on her lips.

"What?" Cuddy asked a little too defensively. "Mom, please do not turn this into your favorite past time of judging the men I date."

Arlene clicked her tongue and waved a nonchalant hand, slicing the air between them. "Oh Lisa, you know I do it for your own good. Besides, from what I hear, Greg is quite the catch."

Cuddy didn't miss the sarcasm in her mom's voice at that last sentence and she wasn't able to help the groan that escaped her mouth.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Arlene cut her off, a finger raised towards her eldest. "No need to stress yourself over this, Dear. Your mother is really just here to check if you and the baby are okay."

Cuddy's shoulders relaxed—until Arlene added, "And to give your baby daddy a fair warning."

Cuddy wasn't sure whether her mortification stemmed from her mother wanting to protect her from the father of her child or that she used 'baby daddy' in front of her.

Arlene rolled her eyes at her daughter's mortified face and said, "I'm just going to give Greg a piece of my mind and thank him for finally tying you down! And who knows, he might… one day… be my son-in-law. It's about time you settled down, just like your sister."

Who knew it'd take her mother more than twenty minutes to bring up her sister? She sighed, opting to ignore the comments about her sister and being tied down. She told her mom, "The last thing House needs is a piece of your mind. His IQ is already well above average." She smirked, adding, "And just so we're clear, House and I aren't getting married." Oh she wished they would get married, someday. But she wasn't counting on it in the near future.

Cuddy's mother shrugged, saying, "Well, at least not yet."

Ah, mothers.

Cuddy rubbed her face with a hand. "Mother, please!" she quietly gasped in frustration. She took a deep breath to calm herself before continuing. "Please… just… don't talk about marriage in front of House. I don't want him to freak out or run for the hills," she mumbled, looking at her mother pleadingly.

Arlene rolled her eyes. "What are you afraid of, Lisa? You're carrying his child—you think he'd just bail and run away? He's a middle aged man, I'm sure he won't."

"Man-child most of the time," Cuddy wanted to tell her mother. But she refrained and opted to look at her mother doubtfully.

"Honey, if he loves you, he won't go running no matter how I threat him or what I say," Arlene said, reassuring her. She stood and kissed her daughter's forehead before heading to the kitchen.

Cuddy followed her Mom with her eyes, a smile blooming on her lips. She wasn't really afraid of House bailing. She was afraid that he'd put too much thought on her mother's words and do something both of them won't like or aren't ready to commit to, yet.

Oh alright, fine. She was a bit afraid that he'd run for the hills.

"So… are you just… dropping by or will you be staying for a while?" Cuddy asked as she reached for the mug of ginger ale her mother handed her, thanking her. She was kind of hoping that she'd get to spend her birthday with House alone.

"That was subtle," her mom sarcastically replied, smirking. Arlene took a deep breath before releasing it and smiled at Cuddy. "I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you and Greg," then she pointed to the paper bags, "give those to you, and invite you and Greg to dinner."

Cuddy was supposed to say no, but she didn't have the heart to lie to her mother again at this point. She'd just break her heart. She knew how manipulative her mother could be at times.

"That would be nice, Mom, thanks," she said, offering her mom a smile. Arlene smiled back. Her daughter was glowing. It's been a long time since she'd seen her so… happy. She had to thank Greg just as much as analyze him and see if he deserved her daughter.

Cuddy took the paper bag and sat it beside her on the couch. She looked at her mother, brows furrowed, as she removed the staple wire clamping the bag close. She smiled wistfully as she pulled out the duvet, bed sheet and pillowcases from inside the bag. Her fingers trailed over the simple baby blue colored cloth which was as soft as cotton and grinned a little at the bears wearing baseball caps woven on it. She smiled at her mother before proceeding to peer at the other paper bag's contents. It contained a pink set of duvet, bed sheets and pillowcases, woven with bears as well.

"Thank you for these, Mom," Cuddy said, smiling at her mother. Arlene sat beside her and looked down at her daughter's bump, eyes seeking permission to touch. Cuddy held her mother's hands and set them on her protruding belly, smiling as she felt the warmth radiating off of her mother.

"Have you begun to feel anything?" her mom asked, smiling at her stomach as if her grandchild would see.

"Only tiny flutters that almost seem nothing. In a few weeks, maybe," Cuddy replied, a faint smile on her face. It was her hobby nowadays, smiling whenever she thought of or talked about the baby.

"What time does Greg get home?" her mother inquired, letting go of her belly after caressing it tenderly.

"An hour or so," Cuddy answered. "Where do you want to eat?" she asked.

"We could eat in, I'll cook," Arlene said nonchalantly.

"Now, you stay there and call me if you need anything," Arlene told Cuddy before leaving her in search of her daughter's fridge.

Cuddy bit her bottom lip. How on earth does she explain this to House? She hoped that he'd at least try to get along with her mother.

It was going to be a long weekend.


	39. Cuddy Women

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company._

_**A/N: OH MY GOSH… 2 revs to 800! :D Have I mentioned that I love you all? :D **__Anyway, I really would appreciate it if the others also let me know what they think because it motivates my imagination! :D _

_Okay, so, I didn't exactly use the show's Arlene. ;D Anyway, I hope you still like it! :D_

_**Enjoy! :)**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 38: CUDDY WOMEN**_

_**.**_

_**5:00 PM**_

"Hey, Wilson, you free tonight?" House inquired, his lips pursed expectantly as he sat on his best friend's office couch. He needed a drink tonight.

"House, don't you have a pregnant girlfriend to look after?" Wilson drolly reminded him. His brows furrowed as he added, "And aren't you supposed to be at, I don't know, work?"

"I'm in a little bit of a pickle, you see," House murmured a little uncomfortably.

Wilson put a hand to his temples, rubbing the space before looking at him, "What did you do?"

"What?" House inquired defensively, "I didn't do anything to Cuddy if that's what you're asking."

"So, this is definitely work-related," Wilson mumbled, thinking. He sat there contemplating for a few seconds before he groaned, "Oh please don't tell me you got fired…" he gave House an exasperated look.

House smirked. "Okay. I didn't get fired."

"First of all, why did you get fired? And second, shouldn't Cuddy be the first to know?" Wilson frowned.

House sighed, "You know how I could be. Let your imagination run wild. I slipped once or twice but Jenkins let me off the hook. Third time's the charm."

"Will you tell Cuddy?" Wilson asked, his hands folded on top of his desk.

"Of course, I'll tell her, after her birthday," House informed Wilson mock-sincerely.

"You won't tell her, will you?" Wilson said, narrowing his eyes at him.

"Nope."

"House..."

House shrugged before turning serious a moment later. "I can't tell her. She'd ask me to go back to Plainsboro."

"I don't see what's so wrong about that. You used to work here, you—"

"I made her life a living hell, working here," House murmured. He wanted to go back to diagnostics, but he couldn't just think of himself. Cuddy was carrying their… kid. He couldn't afford stressing her with his demands and arguments. He'd just hurt her again. The cycle would just repeat itself. He knew that they thrived on arguments, one-upping, and banter, but when it came to his diagnostic prowess, he had no control over what flew out of his mouth. He had no filter when he was deeply engaged in a case. The only thing he was afraid of was doing something to hurt her, and he knew that if something did happen that would call for his brash attitude to surface; he knew he was capable of saying stinging words on impulse. He didn't want that to happen. "If I tell her I got fired, she'd immediately ask me to go back to Plainsboro. I'd rather find another job. Or wait 'til she delivers my spawn, at least," he said, looking at Wilson.

"Maybe it wouldn't be that bad," Wilson consoled him, trying to calm him down. He knew House was thinking ahead. It was good actually. He wasn't thinking only of himself now. He was considering how his actions and decisions could affect Cuddy, their relationship, and their kid. "You could tone things down a notch, do things her way…" Wilson shrugged.

"She'd notice what I'm doing immediately," House said, shaking his head. He didn't do middle grounds. He couldn't tone things down; he was an all or nothing man. That was the difficult thing about it.

Wilson sighed. "Do whatever you think is best. But do it because you want to, not because you're cornered or don't have another choice. Cuddy wouldn't want you to sacrifice what you love doing, for her," he said, looking House in the eyes, receiving a nod from his best friend.

"So… drinks?" House asked, pursing his lips into a thin line.

"Go home to Cuddy, House. I've got a lot of paperwork to file," Wilson said, gesturing to the pile of papers to his left.

"Paperwork could wait," his best friend smirked.

"Sorry, House. Go drink on your own, if you're so thirsty. I have work to do," Wilson said, lowering his head to continue reading the file he'd been reading before House walked in on him.

"Fine, I was going to pay," House said, pouting stubbornly as he stood to his feet.

"Not falling for it!" Wilson said drolly, keeping his eyes on the file.

House smirked before exiting his office, mumbling his goodbye to the oncologist.

_**

* * *

Sherry's Bar, 6:30 PM**_

He couldn't believe he was feeling guilty. He'd had but one glass of whisky. He should have been home less than an hour ago. Cuddy wasn't really smothering; she wasn't the type to call him when he wasn't at home by the time he usually got there. One! He hadn't even finished half of it. All he could think of was Cuddy.

He was torn between telling her and not telling her that he got fired that night.

"What—"he addressed the buxom, blond bartender in front of him, "would you do: tell your expectant girlfriend that you got fired or find another job and tell her then?" he asked, staring at the whisky in his glass.

The bartender's face turned serious, contemplating. "I think you should just tell the poor girl. Why postpone the inevitable?" she rhetorically asked, giving him a small smile when he looked up to meet her eyes. He nodded his thanks, downing the rest of his drink. He reached for his wallet and slapped a bill that would cover his tab and a big tip for the bartender before exiting the bar.

_**

* * *

Wilson's Condo 6:50 PM**_

"You said you were working late," House smirked when Wilson opened the door to his condominium unit wider for him to enter.

"Everybody lies," Wilson announced as he walked to his couch.

"Nice." House said, sitting on his kitchen counter.

"Why are you here anyway?" Wilson asked, not looking at House as he was busy channel surfing.

"Cuddy's Mom is at home." He reached for the apple in the basket beside him and bit into it with gusto.

Wilson stopped surfing channels, brows furrowing as he processed the information just given to him. That was… interesting. "Why'd you think she chose this time to drop by?" Wilson asked, trying not to sweat when he remembered the conversation he had with Cuddy's mother. House was going to kill him if he found out that he was the one who informed Mrs. Cuddy of her gestating grandchild.

"You told Cuddy's Mom, didn't you?"

Wilson's eyes widened. "What, I didn't do anything!"

"I was calling your bluff. You're so easy, Wilson," House said, dropping the apple on top of the other fruits in the basket before hopping off the counter.

"Scoot," he said, gesturing for Wilson to move and make space for him on the couch. But instead of making space, Wilson immediately occupied the space with his body, making sure House wouldn't find an inch wherein he could squeeze himself in.

"Nope, you are going to Cuddy's, and you're going to meet her mother. What's the worst that could happen?" Wilson asked him, smirking.

"Cuddy's mother is… well, _Cuddy's _mother."

"Yes, that explains everything, you shouldn't go at all," Wilson sarcastically wisecracked, rolling his eyes.

"Great, it's settled. I'm staying the night!" House announced with a smirk, moving to grab a chair from the small dining table and dragging it beside Wilson's couch.

Before he could sit, however, Wilson stood and grabbed the chair from him, almost causing House to fall on his ass. "Whether you're dense or you suddenly forgot the meaning of sarcasm, I don't care. You WILL go to Cuddy's tonight," Wilson raised his index finger at House in warning, "you're going to act like a decent human being, you're going to win over Cuddy's Mom, come hell or high water or I swear to God, I'll father that poor child of yours because you'll be dead either by my or Cuddy's bare hands."

House was used to Wilson threatening him, but he had never seen Wilson as serious and as determined to kill him as he was at that moment. He was tempted to arch a brow, throw back a witty retort, or smirk, but he chose wisely and chose none of those urges, though it was truly tempting at that moment.

"Fine, but you owe me."

"I'm paying you back now— with advice. And an extra toothbrush in the bathroom— brush, your breath smells like whisky. Some first impression you're trying to give," Wilson smirked, a hand on his hip. "Move it!"

House sighed but dragged himself to his best friend's bathroom. Who knew, Cuddy's mother could be just as evil as her… or maybe eviler.

House cringed.

_**

* * *

Cuddy's house, 7:30 PM**_

"What took you so long?" Cuddy hissed, pulling the door closed behind her.

"Work," House shrugged, "sorry."

"You were out, drinking. You stayed at Wilson's even after I texted you that Mom was here," Cuddy filled him in, letting him know that she knew.

"Wilson has to get his testosterone level checked," House mumbled. "What else did he tell you?" he asked, lips pursed, waiting for her to yell at him, or console him, whichever her hormones were in the mood of doing.

"Other than what I've said, nothing," Cuddy sighed. A millisecond later, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?" she asked, "Is there something I should know?" House knew it wasn't a question; it was a demand to tell her what was up.

"I got fired," he told her, his head hanging low. He felt a hand on his biceps, soft and comforting.

"What? Why?" she asked, her eyes trying to urge him to meet hers.

"I… might have snapped at a patient, a subordinate and my boss. Argued too," House mumbled, not proud of himself, only because he knew Cuddy would want him to work at Plainsboro again.

"Why did you snap?" she inquired, concerned now. He rarely did that.

He remained quiet, contemplating on what and how to tell her.

He sighed, settling his hands on her hips, feeling her warm flesh heating his cold fingers.

"I thought my pain was back…" he whispered lowly, his voice barely audible. He couldn't look at her. Thinking about it now, it seemed like such a petty reason.

"Your leg?" her lips pursed, her eyes softened both in concern and trepidation. What if his pain did come back? What if he'd have to resort to Vicodin again? What if—

"I'm fine. Leg's fine. It's been cramping slightly for a few days, but earlier today it just locked up. I experienced the pain I haven't felt in more than a year…" he whispered, his eyes glazed with the same worry and fright he had felt when it happened. "I had it checked at some other clinic. Turns out I've just been tiring myself with runs, among other things. I don't feel anything at all anymore," he reassured her, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you…" he whispered.

She slid her hands up to cup his cheeks, caressing them, his stubble scratching her palm. "It's okay," she replied, kissing him soundly on the lips. She tilted his head down so she could see those wounded cobalt eyes as she requested, "But please, the next time you feel something… not right… please, tell me. Okay? Nothing would make me think less of you," she spoke with integrity, kissing him again.

They stood there kissing tenderly for a few seconds when House, seemingly himself again, asked while pulling away from their kiss, "Does that mean I have to go in and—"

She chuckled, cutting him off with a peck to his lips, saying, "Yes."

His hands settled on her stomach, feeling its roundness. "How was your day?" he uncharacteristically asked. Cuddy chuckled, knowing the touchy subject invoked such a question.

"Boring, as always, and it remained that way until my mother decided to drop by and make it… interesting," she replied, her hands running up and down his arms, warming him up.

Their intimate solitude was interrupted, however, when Arlene suddenly asked from the door, "Oh, I'm sorry, was I interrupting something?"

She looked from House's hands on her daughter's stomach, to House, to Cuddy, and then to her hands on his biceps. The proximity needn't be double checked. They were practically pressing into one another. Arlene smiled and extended her hand to House, "You must be Greg," she said, the regal smile still in place, "I'm Arlene, Lisa's Mom."

"Greg House, pleasure to meet you," House replied politely as he extended his hand to the old woman.

"Well, I suppose I don't have to do introductions," Cuddy mumbled, making her mother smirk and House… well, he chose to remain smirk-less this time.

"I think it's about time we have dinner served. Skipping meals is bad for you, Sweetie," Arlene said, ushering her daughter inside and leaving House to follow in their wake.

"Is there anything I could help you with?" House inquired in a low, slightly awkward voice.

Cuddy stared at him while Arlene let out a small smile. "You just sit, Darling. The kitchen is a woman's territory. Men do the work. It's customary for the women to serve their men when they arrive from work."

House let out a mischievous grin. "I think I like your mom, Cuddy," House called out, making Cuddy mimic him mockingly whilst her back was turned to her mother.

"That was subtle, Mom." Cuddy murmured as she carried the salad bowl out.

"Oh Honey, you're having a child. You have to settle down. Greg has a high-paying job, I can't see why you couldn't just be a stay-at-home mom and take care of your kids and husband," Arlene replied, checking the roasted chicken.

"We aren't married yet, Mom," Cuddy drolly replied. She chose to ignore her mother's spiel about settling down and becoming a housewife. Funny, she thought, a _house_wife. She shook her head, having no time for her mind's little funny thoughts.

"Maybe one day you'll be. Greg seems like the guy who marries a woman he impregnates," Arlene commented, pulling the roasted chicken out of the oven.

"Pretend you didn't hear that," Cuddy whispered to House as she placed the bowl on the dining table. She took a deep breath and exhaled, looking at House.

"She's quite a handful," Cuddy grinned tightly, deciding whether her Mom's spiels were worth gritting her teeth to.

"It's actually entertaining," House admitted, smirking at her for effect.

Cuddy rolled her eyes before making House's smirk disappear by saying, "She's only just begun."

_**

* * *

**_

"Greg, I don't mean to be so forward, but do you plan on marrying my daughter?" Arlene asked, folding the napkin on her lap before looking at House, obviously waiting for an answer.

Cuddy stopped House before he could even reply, though. "Mom, we're not thinking of marriage yet," she told her mother, a hand on House's knee under the table.

House remained silent as Arlene looked from him to her daughter, her visage as calm as the wind surrounding them. "Well, as your mother, Dear, I think you should. You're expecting a baby and you're living together, after all. Why not have the child born in wedlock?" Cuddy's mother inquired, her voice rising a bit in her incredulity.

House uncomfortably shifted in his seat, looking from Cuddy to Cuddy, gauging whether he should just shrink in his seat or run for his life. Maybe he was being too dramatic.

"I was supposed to hook us up with a reservation for dinner at Les Grande tomorrow night but I thought that maybe, I could make your birthday dinner for you," House awkwardly interjected, avoiding Cuddy's mother's gaze.

Temporarily forgetting her mother's marriage tirade, Cuddy squeezed his knee and smiled sincerely at him. "That would be wonderful," she said, already anticipating what he'd whip up for her. Well, them, including her mother.

The thought of Greg cooking made Arlene's ears perk up in interest. "You cook, Greg?" she asked, her chin propped by the back of her hand.

House nodded, making Arlene smile. "How about baking? Do you bake?" House nodded again. Cuddy couldn't help but smile at how her man was just nodding, probably a bit conscious at her mother's sudden interest.

"Well, I have to say that is commendable," Arlene smiled Cuddy's way. "I have known few men who could master work _and _rule the kitchen as well," she chuckled.

"Cuddy does it a lot better than I do. And she's a woman," House commended, looking fondly at Cuddy.

Arlene watched her daughter and the man she was finding quite interesting look at each other. Funny, how their eyes said everything. She let out a small smile before clearing her throat. "I'm just worried that Lisa won't have time for your child once she gives birth. Nannies are okay from time to time but I wouldn't want my grandchild practically raised by a nanny," Arlene shrugged, wanting to get her point across.

"I'll make sure she does," House smirked, swinging his head to look at Arlene. "I'm a very persuasive person," his smirk widened as Cuddy glared at him, rolling her eyes when Arlene returned his smirk. She had the feeling that having her Mom and House get along would have a negative effect on her somewhere down the road.

"He whines like an adolescent whenever he doesn't get what he wants," Cuddy thought of retorting, but she chose to keep her mouth shut. She still wanted Mom and House to get along despite her fear of a conspiracy.

"I was wondering, Greg, what time do you get home from work?" Arlene asked, folding her hands on top of the dining table.

"Before six, usually," actually, I just got fired. House pursed his lips. "A patient requested an audience; it felt right to stay a while," yeah, like he'd do that.

"Greg, Lisa has told me about you," Arlene smirked. She reached forward and patted his right hand, telling him, "You don't have to try too hard, Dear." She winked.

House swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and looked at Cuddy who just shrugged at him. He couldn't blame her. Her mother probably had to force the information out of her mouth.

"Does anybody want more wine?" he suddenly asked, getting up without waiting for an answer. He walked to the kitchen and searched for a bottle, taking his time.

"You could have gone easy on him, Mom," Cuddy muttered, picking at her dessert. "And I didn't tell you anything," she added, shaking her head at her mother's earlier assumption. Although she liked how she'd told House not to try so hard. He was as taut as a guitar string, seeing him trying not to bolt from the conversation.

Arlene was about to reply when Cuddy suddenly held onto her stomach, biting her lower lip as a cramp-like sensation slashed through her insides out of nowhere. It wasn't strong; her reaction was just caused by her surprise. Arlene was instantly on her feet, a hand gently soothing her back. "Honey, are you alright? What's wrong, what happened?" she asked her, brows dipping in concern. Cuddy shook her head a moment later, regulating her breathing. She placed a hand on her mother's arm, patting it.

"I'm okay Mom; I think they were just Braxton Hicks. They're normal," Cuddy said, assuring her mother again by patting her hands which had resettled on her shoulder.

"Are you sure? Should I call Greg?"

Cuddy shook her head, "I'm fine, Mom. Don't worry. If it will make you feel better, I'll tell my doctor." Arlene seemed to be consoled by this as she sat back on her chair.

She took in her daughter's face, checking whether she was just pretending or telling the truth. When she felt that Lisa was telling the truth, she let out a sigh, relenting.

Cuddy's mother opted to pick up where they left off when she felt that her daughter was more comfortable again. "Honey, I was just messing with him. I find him polite, holding his tongue like that," Arlene complimented with a sly grin. "You two seem to have known each other for years," she added.

"Yeah," Cuddy replied with a wistful smile, choosing not to let her mother know that they've known each other for many, many years. She didn't want to hear her mother lecture her about wasting time and the like.

"Cuddy, do we have more wine? Can't seem to find any," House called out from the kitchen.

"Okay, Sweetie, could you please tell me why on earth do you call each other by your surnames? It gives me the impression that you aren't serious enough about your relationship," Arlene finally questioned, her tone slightly exasperated.

"We're serious, Mom," Cuddy reassured her mother, placing a hand on her arm. "I promise you that," she said, looking into her mother's blue eyes. "I love him, Mom. So please, just… go easy on him. He's a lot more sensitive than you think," Cuddy told her mother, her eyes pleading. Arlene sighed, rolling her eyes before placing a hand on top of her daughter's.

"Alright, Honey," Arlene sighed dramatically, "No more grilling-the-boyfriend, if I could help it," Cuddy's mother promised, giving her daughter a small smile. Truly, she was happy that her daughter had Greg. She could see it in the man's eyes that he really loved her. She didn't find it necessary to inform her daughter that she'd spied on her boyfriend the day before, at work. Greg loved Lisa enough to hold his surely itching tongue in front of her. It didn't bother her that they would probably talk about her behind her back. What mattered was that Greg cared enough to respect her in front of her daughter.

Besides, the man impregnated her daughter, thus guaranteeing her a grandchild from Lisa.

_**

* * *

May 21, 10 PM**_

Dinner had been fantastic, not to mention breakfast in bed earlier that day. There was nothing like having a meticulous diagnostician as your chef. Her mother was beyond surprised to find out that there was that side of her man—besides, House had made her mother breakfast as well but her mother ate in the kitchen.

Wilson had offered to drive Arlene home, claiming he had a patient to see in her area.

Arlene had been impressed with House's culinary skills that she'd asked him for some recipes. Cuddy was more than relieved that her mother was satisfied, for once, with her boyfriend. Arlene had given Cuddy a necklace supposedly to bring her and her baby good luck and protection. She had also handed Cuddy a couple of notes, bearing with them Jewish prayers for labor and delivery. Cuddy, ever the ecstatic mother-to-be, received them graciously before saying her goodbyes. To Cuddy's surprise, Arlene had hugged House on her way out.

"We survived two nights…" Cuddy chuckled against his chest, her forefinger tapping to the rhythm of his heart.

"Your mother wasn't as screwed up as I thought she'd be," House smirked. Dinner—the conversation—had been interesting, to say the least.

"Thanks," Cuddy mumbled, glad herself that her Mom actually laid low on the offense, choosing to just celebrate and dominate. She let out a smile.

"So…"

"I know you've been dying to talk about my lack of a job now," House mumbled, a hand on her knee.

Cuddy sighed, "You know we can't avoid this forever. You need a job which includes solving puzzles. And I mean a full-time job, not a consultant," she nuzzled her cheek against his chest before continuing, "You need a job which fulfills you and your needs, I need you back at work. _You _can't avoid this forever. You will crave the puzzles, everything. That's who you are, House. I wouldn't have created a Diagnostic Department had it not been for you. I _need _you to run that department even if it meant you having to drive me to my wit's end for some insane procedure or drug."

"Look at you," he said, his voice strained to a whisper, "the last thing you need is me stressing you when you get back to work soon." He sighed, running a hand to his face.

"Nothing will happen to me, House," she assured him. "Don't be such a martyr. It isn't you."

"I need you to do your job," she said. "I order you to," she smiled up at him, her eyes pleading though.

"I'll think about it," he mumbled reluctantly.

Cuddy sighed, cupping his cheek. "Let's put it this way. Since I'm going back to work in a week or two, why don't you let me get back on my feet and start working back at diagnostics in a month?" she suggested, an eyebrow arched.

"That won't make a difference, you know," House smirked.

Cuddy smirked back, equally stubborn, "Nothing would make a difference if we don't let it. I know it'll be hard, but I'd feel better knowing you're not stopping what you love doing best for me and our child. I want you to be free to do what you live for. Now, I'm not only begging you to come back, I'm _commanding _you to," she said, her voice turning firm, backing her demand.

Without a second thought, House said, "Fine. In one month." He didn't know what was to come, but she was right—he didn't have to put his life on hold. He'd end up being miserable again, which would, God forbid,—he hated to admit it—make him resent her. He just had to control himself.

"Fine," he repeated, burying his nose in her hair.

"Just wouldn't say no to me, would you?" she teased, grinning against his clothed chest.

He grumbled in reply.

"You won't let me say no," he huffed, looking up at the ceiling. Cuddy just chuckled, patting his chest with her palm.

They sat there for a while, just enjoying one another's presence. A few minutes later, House shifted on the couch and loosened his grip on her.

"You wait here. I've got something for you," House said, gently easing himself from her embrace and standing up.

Cuddy tried to stop the smile forming on her lips but she just couldn't. The corners of her mouth tugged up into a smile while she waited for him.

House returned with a small, postcard-sized envelope in his hand. She grinned at the cute ribbon on it, taking it from his hands. "Sadly, it isn't a ring like your mother expects me to give," House quipped, smirking as she kissed him on the corner of his mouth, thanking him despite not having opened it yet.

Cuddy pulled out the smallest thing inside, brows furrowing when she saw that it was a credit card. "What do you want me to do with this?" she confusedly inquired, looking at him.

House shrugged. "You're out of bed rest in a week. I thought maybe you'd like to experience actually walking into the maternity clothes store instead of buying online."

Cuddy smiled sweetly at him, kissing him on the lips. He was a sweet man. "Thank you," she said, not needing to be told that he was letting her use his card.

"But I'm coming with you," he added, a hand on her hip.

"Of course," Cuddy grinned against his lips, "Who'd carry my bags?"

"Ah, yes, my sole purpose," House said, tilting his head back to look at her. He grinned. "Only payback I get is seeing you try clothes on."

"If you haven't noticed, I'm huge," Cuddy drolly replied, pouting at him.

House tapped his fingers on her hip, grinning before he dipped his head down to kiss, suck and nibble on her neck. "Lisa Cuddy in any size is sexy to me," he mumbled in between kisses.

Cuddy chuckled gutturally, a hand on his nape, "Good answer."

A moment later, House moved his lips to her jaw, and up to meet her luscious lips. They kissed for a few minutes before House pulled away, mumbling, "Wait."

He took the envelope and carefully tore the side, pulling out a photo. He handed it to her and smiled softly when she focused on the picture. A second later, her eyes started to mist and she bit her lip, her breathing becoming a bit hitched.

She looked up at him, a joyful tear falling from her eye. "How did you—"

"Bribed your doctor to keep it under wraps," he mumbled, wiping away the tears that had followed her first one.

Cuddy looked from the sonogram picture to the man she loved, smiling amidst her sea of joyful tears. "I thought… she told me she still couldn't tell," she smiled wider, leaning forward to capture his lips in yet another tender kiss. "Our last appointment was last week. You made me wait for how many days?"

House shrugged again, wordlessly telling her he had to do it, for the surprise.

"You _insufferable_ man," she fondly said, nevertheless causing him to frown. She leant her forehead to his, inhaling the intoxicating scent of him, savoring the heat radiating from him. Never had she thought she could love anyone as she loved him. He made her feel like nothing could touch her.

"I love you," she whispered against his lips, her fingers brushing against his stubble.

"I love you _two_," House replied, feeling less conscious about showing and letting her know how important she and their daughter was to him.

"Are you happy?" he inquired softly, wiping away her tears again before lowering his hands to her stomach. She looked down at his caressing hands; she found it addictive, the way he caressed her stomach.

"I've told you once and I'll tell you again," she smiled, looking back up at him and realigning her smiling lips to his before whispering in a teasing smirk, "I have _never _been happier."

Moments like this made House anxious. Not her happiness, but his. He reveled in how serene and happy they were, he had long forgotten how it felt to be content and happy. But his old self rears its ugly head once in a while and it reminded him happiness wasn't permanent. Something was bound to go wrong, and he prayed to whatever higher power there was that nothing would happen. He wouldn't know what to do if something happened to her and the life she was carrying.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, cupping his cheek. He shook his head, clearing his thoughts and focusing solely on her and their future. He smiled, kissing her cheek.

"I'm glad I make you happy," he whispered, almost shyly.

"You do," she assured him, "Never doubt that."

She pecked him on the lips one more time for good measure before resettling herself beside him on the couch. She leant her head on his chest, looking once again at the picture of _who _was to come into their lives soon. House caressed her elbow, running his fingers along the curve of her arm.

She smiled ethereally, her face glowing as she kept her eyes glued to the photo. She never thought this pregnancy would stick. She never thought they would reach this point. She breathed out contentedly. A while later she giggled— causing House to smirk— thinking House would soon be wrapped around the fingers of not one but two Cuddys'.

"We're having a girl."


	40. Wisdom

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Some scenes/lines I have taken from previously aired episodes are not mine, either; I just used them for my plot. Those lines belong to whoever great [H]ouse writer wrote 'em. :)_

_

* * *

Forgot to thank Penny last chapter! Tsk. Anyway, __**PENELOPE S CARTWRIGHT**__, thank you so much, for always taking time to squeeze in betaing my chapters! You rock, Pen! :) *kisses*(Read her stories, people! ;D 'He' and 'LTM' is made of WIN!)_

_**A/N: So… we've officially reached the part I've been planning for MONTHS… ;) AND, before what's to come, I just wanted to add a "happy ending" (WARNING: Happy ending at JUNE 27**__**th**__** section). ;) **_

_Thank you for each and every one who has been reading and or reviewing! :D I'm glad I could still entertain you guys after 40 chaps! :D_

_**Special 40**__**th**__** chapter (including Prologue)! …AND it is LONG (10.6k words) and EVENTFUL!**_

_**I really hope you like this and take the time to leave your opinion/s thoughts! :D**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 39: WISDOM**_

_**.**_

_**May 29, 10 AM**_

Cuddy was sitting in the tub, relaxing, when House entered the bathroom in his robe, holding a mug of tea for her. She smiled, sitting up more to accept the mug from his hands.

"Thanks," she said, taking in the invigorating aroma of her tea.

He plopped down on the side of the tub, a hand dipping into the water to rest on her ever-growing belly. "You're a whale," he teased, never taking his eyes away from hers.

"You won't get lucky teasing me like that," she pouted, a hand protectively roaming her stomach.

"How are the contractions?" he asked, turning serious.

She looked at him, surprised. She furrowed her brows, moistening her lips before saying, "How did you know?"

House shrugged, "Doesn't take a genius to know you're not moaning in your sleep because of me," he smirked, bobbing his eyebrows suggestively at her. She frowned.

"It's nothing," Cuddy waved, "Braxton Hicks."

"How long do they last?"

"Stop being so concerned. I'm fine," Cuddy said, handing him back the mug.

"_You_ may be fine, but I speak for the spawn," he stuck his tongue out at her. "Don't I, Madonna?" he inquired, speaking to her stomach.

"We are not naming her Madonna, House," Cuddy said, frowning at him and swatting at his hand gently.

"Britney? Beyoncé? Lady Gaga?" he smirked, his hand snaking lower.

Her breath hitched as he reached _that _spot. A hand instinctively shot on top of his. "No," she breathed. "No sex, remember?"

House sighed dramatically, retracting his hand from the water. "You're supposed to be horny!" he whined, pouting at her.

Cuddy's eyes widened as she looked at him, frustrated. "I never said I wasn't!" she huffed, brushing a few stray curls from her face. "But unlike some people, I have self-control," she said, emphasizing 'some people'.

"Why'd your cervix have to dilate too early, anyway? I know you're excited, but jeez, woman!" he smirked, not really unaware that women could start effacing and dilating early.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at him before huffing out a frustrated breath. "You think I like walking around, twenty percent effaced, and two centimeters dilated?"

"Is it fun?" he sarcastically asked in a gasp, his mouth staying ajar after the question.

"What if I rip you a new one? Want to know what it feels like?" she asked him, half-serious and tempted to actually try doing what she meant.

"Aaaand that's my cue to make breakfast," House said, kissing her pouting lips before getting up from the floor and making his way to the kitchen.

Cuddy shook her head, smiling as she caressed her stomach, always marveled by the life growing inside her.

"Your Daddy's such a nut," she told her baby, chuckling happily.

_**

* * *

June 8, 7 PM**_

"How's Cuddy doing?" Wilson asked as he polished his bowling ball with House beside him doing the same.

"She's fine," House answered, lips thinning.

"I thought you said she was effacing and dilating a little too early?" Wilson inquired, brows furrowing.

House shrugged. "Women walk around effaced and dilated weeks before they're even due. Most of them reach their due dates without any problems arising," House explained. "Well, that was what Cuddy's doctor said."

"What's _your _opinion about it?" House's best friend asked, curious as to what the diagnostician thought about his girlfriend's case.

"I think I should keep a closer eye on her," House stated, staring at a distance before seemingly pulling himself together, meeting Wilson's gaze. "But anyway, it doesn't matter what _I _think. I practice a different field; her doctor surely knows more about pregnancies than I do," House shrugged nonchalantly. If he were being completely honest, he'd have said that he was slightly concerned.

"Anyway, that sounds… uncomfortable. You sure it's okay for her to go back to work, though?" Wilson asked again as he waited for his turn. He cringed, the mental picture disturbing.

They both watched as House's ball rolled down the lane and House instantly grinned at the sound of pins clashing against each other. "Turkey!" he exclaimed, fist-pumping the air as he smugly looked at Wilson.

"Why can't we just play poker at my place?" Wilson asked sourly.

"Sore loser. We're not at your place because _you_ asked _me_ to go bowling with you," House explained, smirking. Wilson looked at the scoreboard, sighing. "And Cuddy's still going back to work. Doctor said she's fine. Fetus is fine. Not even doomsday would stop that woman from going back to work," House said, answering Wilson's earlier question. Of course he was worried, but Cuddy was a grown woman—she could handle it… hopefully.

Wilson must have felt his uncertainty because he suddenly reassured House, saying, "Don't worry. I'll look after her for you at work."

House stared at his best friend as he proceeded to bowl. When Wilson looked back at him with a grin after a strike, he gave him a thankful nod.

"I'll be back at Plainsboro by the 27th," House informed him, wiping his ball distractedly.

"Gave in, huh?" Wilson grinned smugly. When House rolled his eyes and ignored him, he put a hand to his hip. "Grow up, House. Be an adult and handle things," Wilson lectured.

"I am handling things," House replied, slightly annoyed. "I've been handling things."

Wilson shrugged, making House snort. "You're whipped, House; face it. Be thankful you'll be back to mocking patients and practicing your _special _bedside manner again." God forbid, House took things too far when dealing with Cuddy. That was Wilson's only concern. But he was sure House already knew that.

"Just bowl, Wilson," House snarled, waving him towards the pins and waiting for him to shut up and start bowling again.

"Whipped," House mentally scoffed.

"Yeah, right."

_**

* * *

10 PM**_

"What are you doing?" House asked with an amused smirk when he walked into the bathroom that night, seeing her in front of the full length mirror with a camera in her hand.

Cuddy stared at him, surprised to see him back early. Her cheeks blushed, thinking about how she must have looked like from his point of view; stomach exposed, loose yoga pants riding low, hair up in a messy bun, and a camera in her hand. She pouted at him before continuing what she was doing; taking pictures of her bump—she'd been doing it at least once a month. She did it when he wasn't at home, wanting to avoid the wisecracks he could make from it.

"So?" House asked, trying to keep a smile from taking over his mouth. He leaned against the doorframe, waiting for her answer.

"So, what?" she inquired, trying to act ignorant of the fact that he already saw what she'd been doing.

"Nothing," House shrugged, walking over to her with a grin. She eyed him suspiciously before lowering the camera she was holding so that she could see the LCD as she pressed the 'Gallery' button. She felt House press himself against her and she smiled, never looking away from the digital camera's screen.

"Come on," she said, tugging at one of his hands. She set the timer on her camera before placing it on the counter and making sure that they would fit in the frame—she guessed he wouldn't be inclined to give her another chance to take a picture with him after that one.

"Mom, do I have to?" he whined, gingerly allowing her to intertwine their fingers and set their hands under her bump, cradling it together.

Cuddy smiled. "Yes," she answered quickly, smiling wider for the camera. She knew better than to think he'd smile for the shot.

After the shot, Cuddy took the camera from the counter and looked at their photo, her heart fluttering in its cavity when she saw him trying to suppress a grin. That turned out better than she thought.

"I really have gained a lot," she said, chuckling as she browsed through the pictures she had taken once she got over House's little slip.

House hummed against her shoulder, looking at the pictures as well. "I kind of like this look on you," he teased, his hands running down her sides to rest just below her belly again. "Round, soft, glowing, and sexy—it almost conceals how much of a she-devil you really are. I'll give you glowing and sexy," he grinned against her shoulder and kissed her supple skin.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, smirking. "Your chances at getting lucky aren't expanding, just so you know," she mumbled with a lopsided grin, almost giggling at how sassy some of her pictures turned out.

House shrugged, smirking as he stated, "I won't get lucky anyway." Cuddy glared at him but decided to keep her mouth shut—that made her cringe. She'd given him quite a few happy endings during her pregnancy. "Well, not tonight, anyway," House corrected, smirk widening.

Cuddy bit her lip trying to suppress the smile from coming, but she was unable to stop it. She let out a chuckle before setting the camera on the counter. She approached him and pushed off his jacket.

"I thought I wasn't going to get lucky tonight?" his eyebrow arched. Cuddy rolled her eyes while she unbuttoned his shirt.

"I wanted to soak in the tub for a while," she said, smiling sweetly at him. "And I want you in there… with me," she added, pulling his tee shirt over his head. She ran her hands from his chest to his stomach, feeling his warmth. She bit her lip, the scent and warmth of him causing desire to pool in between her legs. She internally shook her head; she couldn't have sex, damn it!

House rolled his eyes. She was so cuddly these days. Hormones, he thought. His breath hitched as she cupped him through his jeans, teasing him. She unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down along with his boxers, leaving him naked in front of her. She stood on the tips of her toes, pecking him chastely on the lips before undressing herself in front of him. When she finally finished removing her clothes, her skin tingled at the way he was looking at her.

He held her hand, pulling her towards the tub. He got in first before offering her a hand and helping her in. She immediately readjusted herself so she was comfortable and leaning against his chest. She closed her eyes, relaxing. A smile tugged at her lips when she felt his arms wrap around her and his hands settled on her stomach—she would never get over him doing that.

"So, have you thought of any names yet?" she curiously asked, feeling their baby shift inside her, making her smile even more. She had been pushing him to think of names ever since she found out their baby's sex.

"Besides Madonna, Britney, and whatever else you mentioned before," Cuddy said, cutting him off before he could answer.

"Sofia." House whispered it against her ear, kissing her temple afterwards.

"Sofia…" Cuddy repeated, jovial at how much she loved how the name rolled off of her tongue. "Wisdom," she whispered the supposed meaning.

"Yeah," House whispered. "It doesn't even sound like a hooker's name!" he proudly stated, chuckling. She laughed throatily, intertwining their fingers.

"You've made me happier than I thought I could ever be," she suddenly declared after a few moments, leaning her forehead onto his after shifting in the tub.

"Thank you," she whispered, pecking him again on the lips.

He was glad he could provide her with what she wanted and needed. He was glad that he could make her happy.

"You're welcome."

"Sofia..." she breathed. "I really do love it," she honestly told him, tilting her head to the side so that her ear was against his heart.

"How 'bout you, any names?" he inquired, tapping her belly gently with his index finger. She shook her head. She couldn't think of anything; maybe she had been waiting for his input.

"Sofia House, it is," she whispered with a laugh that almost sounded like a giggle. She tilted her head to the side, pulling his head down so their lips could meet. She kissed him tenderly, pouring out every ounce of love she had for him into the kiss.

"House?" he asked her, an eyebrow arched in curiosity. "Sure you don't want it to be Sofia Cuddy?" he teased.

"I'm sure," Cuddy said, smiling brightly. "She's your daughter too," she reminded him.

House shrugged. "I'm fine with it. Besides, I'm sure _my _mother and yours would kill me if I didn't give her my name."

"Speaking of mothers, have you told yours?" Cuddy suspiciously asked. Her eyes suddenly fixated on his. House shook his head almost hesitantly. "You told me you'd tell her!" Cuddy gasped in shock. "You call her soon or else…" she threatened him, glaring at him.

House sighed. "I'll tell her on my birthday. She's sure to call then."

"You better," Cuddy warned, before making herself comfortable against him once again, freeing her mind of anything else and just relaxing.

_**

* * *

June 11, 5 AM**_

Cuddy lovingly traced his face with her eyes, content on just drinking in his image before she headed to work that day. She had every intention of getting things done early so they could at least grab dinner. She'd long promised herself—ever since they got together—that she'd make an effort to urge him to at least celebrate the day he was born.

Truly, she didn't really have to work Saturdays while she was pregnant—House was able to guilt the board into freeing her from working on Saturdays—but she had a few more things to finish. Besides, she was sure House would sleep half of the day away anyway.

She smiled once more at his peaceful face before leaning forward to kiss his forehead, wishing him a happy birthday. She ran the back of her hand against his stubble before standing up from the bed and getting ready to start her day. Besides, she still had to call that dealer to make sure they hadn't forgotten about the delivery date of her gift for House.

_**

* * *

4:00 PM**_

"I didn't know what else to get you," Cuddy said, cheeks flushing as she watched House stare at what she got him. He hadn't expected her to give him anything at all for his birthday.

"You didn't have to," House said, glancing at her before pulling her flush against his chest as close as their baby would let them.

"I wanted to," she murmured before chuckling. "Besides, I'm sure you'll get sick of ties soon enough," she teased, pulling back to look him in the eye.

"Ha-ha," he dryly replied before bending forward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.

"Happy birthday, House," she greeted in a whisper, smiling against his lips as she looked into those sparkling cerulean eyes. "Thank you," he replied softly.

When they pulled away he glanced at the same Honda Repsol he had sold before he left. Only this one was brand new. He knew she could afford it, but it really wasn't the price. It was the thought behind it. He knew it seemed cheesy, but he was truly thankful.

Cuddy had thought long and hard about it. She knew how dangerous the bike was, but she knew how much he loved the liberation riding a bike gave him. She molded herself against him again, her hands warm upon his cheeks as she pled, "Promise me you'll be careful when you use it?" He nodded, promising her. She smiled.

"Thank you," he gratefully mumbled against her lips.

"You're welcome," she replied, smiling.

She pulled away from him afterwards, retrieving a box from inside the house. He immediately took it from her, brows furrowing when he realized how light the box was, considering its size.

"Go take it out for a ride," she said, smiling fondly as he marveled at the helmet inside which matched the bike.

House kissed her lips once more, smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.

"I'll be back in 30," he told her.

_**

* * *

7 PM**_

"Tell her!" Cuddy mouthed, standing in front of him with her hands on her hips. House found her stance comical, though he'd never tell her that verbally; he treasured his life. House's mother had called a few minutes ago; she was certain Blythe had already greeted her son and asked how he was.

"Mom… I wanted to tell you something," House said, his voice turning low and hesitant—nay, nervous.

"How's Lisa, Greg?" Blythe House asked her son, her voice as calm as a zephyr wind. She was more than happy for her son when she found out that he had found someone he could actually be with.

"She's great," House said, looking at Cuddy with a smirk.

"And your impending grandchild is, too," he slowly informed his mother, meeting Cuddy's eyes as he spoke. Cuddy let out a small smile.

"Grandchild, Greg?" Blythe asked, utterly surprised that she needed to hear that one more time.

"Yes, Mom, Cuddy's pregnant." He never thought he'd tell his mother that he knocked someone up. Knowing that he was telling his mom about Cuddy, he couldn't help but let out a stupid grin. Sometimes, it really still felt surreal where they were now. "She's been pregnant for 25 weeks already."

"That's… I'm so happy for you both!" Blythe excitedly gasped, choosing to ignore that her son only told her now. "So… what are we expecting?" she inquired. Never had House heard his mother's voice as lively.

"You're not… mad?" he curiously asked, expecting to hear quite an earful from his mother for not having told her sooner.

"I should be," Blythe stated, but smiled when the thought of her first grandchild entered her mind. "But I really am not," she told her son with a fond smile. How could she stay mad at her son when he had just told her news that made life much more interesting again?

"I can't believe my son is going to be a father," she said, almost with tears in her eyes. "You've made your Mom proud, Honey," Blythe told House with the utmost sincerity and happiness of a mother proud of her son.

"Don't get too excited, Mom," House consciously told his mother, "I have yet to screw this up." Cuddy frowned in front of House, setting a hand on his chest. On the other line, Blythe frowned as well.

"You won't screw this up, Greg," she smiled fondly."Mom's here. Besides, I doubt Lisa would allow you to do so. But having doubts is better than having none at all," Blythe told him, wishing she could hug her son along with the verbal reassurance.

"Could you please hand the phone over to Lisa? I'd love to speak with her," Blythe sweetly told her son. It was, by far, the best night she'd had in months. "I'll call you again soon. I love you, Greg, happy birthday again."

"Okay. Thank you, Mom. I love you too," House answered, lowering his head before handing the cordless phone to Cuddy who arched a brow in question. He shook the phone, wordlessly telling her to take it.

Cuddy moistened her lips before taking the phone from him. She then started speaking to House's mother. "Hi Blythe! It's Lisa," Cuddy greeted, smiling as House's mother greeted her happily, immediately asking her how she was and how the baby's development was going.

"I'll be in the living room," House told her, kissing her temple before leaving Cuddy to give her time to catch up with his mom.

_**

* * *

June 20, 3 PM**_

"He'll be back next Monday," Wilson said, watching as an undecipherable smile took hold of Cuddy's face.

"Yeah," she replied with a small smile before her brows suddenly furrowed. She was excited but she couldn't help but become slightly apprehensive.

"How do you feel about that?" Wilson inquired, sitting on the chair in front of her desk.

"I feel like I hired you as my shrink," Cuddy smirked. Wilson rolled his eyes as Cuddy sighed. "I'm slightly nervous about it, but I like that he's going to be doing what he does best again," she smiled at that.

"He's afraid to screw up, you know."

"I am, too," she told Wilson, "but you don't see me bending over backwards to avoid what's inevitable. I'm just glad he relented and agreed to work for Diagnostics again."

"He's pretty stupid for a genius," Wilson chuckled. Cuddy smiled at him, a hand instinctively caressing her stomach.

"He is," Cuddy nodded, chuckling.

"So… how have you been?" Wilson asked her, trying to keep himself from staring too long at her stomach. It still felt bizarre, seeing her pregnant with House's kid. But he was happy for them, excited in fact! House had uncharacteristically asked him if it would be okay for him to be Sofia's godfather. He had grinned idiotically, letting his answer show on his face long before he answered him verbally.

"Don't worry about me, Wilson," Cuddy rolled her eyes. "And you could stop keeping an eye on me," she smirked. Wilson had the decency to turn the slightest tinge of pink.

"I promised House I'd look after you," he admitted, shrugging. Besides, House needn't have asked. Wilson would have looked after her anyway. Cuddy was his friend as well as, cheesy as it might have sounded, House's life now.

Cuddy scoffed playfully, a smile on her lips. "I'm a big girl; I could take care of myself. But thanks, Wilson, that was sweet of you," she told him.

"How's House driving you insane these days?" he couldn't help but ask with an amused grin.

"He's spoiling me silly but he acts as if he hates being at my beck and call 24/7," she informed her friend, shifting in her seat to make herself feel more comfortable. The contractions were seemingly getting stronger every week.

"Are you okay?" Wilson asked her, frowning concernedly when he noticed her bite her bottom lip.

"Contractions," Cuddy said, taking a deep breath as the pain ebbed away.

"Have you told your doctor about it?" he asked, face turning serious.

"Hicks," Cuddy told him, finally relaxing.

"Seems too strong for Braxton Hicks," Wilson suspiciously stated.

Cuddy gave him a warm smile. "They're Braxton Hicks, Wilson. If you don't think I was neurotic enough to have it checked multiple times then you don't know me at all," she chuckled, waving it off.

"If you say so," Wilson conceded, still suspicious, but not saying anything else.

_**

* * *

June 24**_

She lay in bed, mulling over the items they may have missed when they shopped for items to put in the nursery. She had multiple catalogs scattered on the bed, one on her lap. She already had the room painted carnation pink—a color she fought House for to the death.

"Why don't we just buy the whole Baby Department?" he had sarcastically asked her in mock excitement, smirking at her when she pouted, carrying all the shopping bags like, quoting him, "a personal slave"—she preferred to call it "courtesy to the pregnant lady."

She smiled; that was, by far, the most amusing shopping experience she had ever had.

Her smile grew when she heard the roar of his bike drawing closer to the house. She remained sitting in bed, back against the stacked pillows, resting on the headboard. She waited for him to enter the room, busying herself with checking out the other merchandise in the catalog on her lap—well, practically on her bump.

"Hey," she greeted when she saw him lean against the door frame.

"Hey," he greeted back, seemingly uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?" she asked him, noticing something was up. He seemed so lost, so guilt-ridden. Her stomach churned at the possible reasons he was acting the way he was. Something was definitely wrong.

She stood from the bed and approached him. He evaded her kiss; he didn't even wrap his arms around her when she hugged him. God, she was starting to get frightened.

"House… tell me, what's wrong?" she encouraged him, a hand stroking his stubbly cheek, trying to give him her comfort and support no matter how nervous she was getting because of him.

He shook his head, internally struggling with something; she could tell. "Greg," she whispered pleadingly.

"I'm sorry," was all he told her, clasping the hand she had on his cheek. He buried the side of his face into her palm, kissing the center of it.

Tears were threatening to come and frame her face. "Greg, you're scaring me," she whispered breathily, nervous.

"Lisa…" he rarely called her by her name; she shuddered.

"Tell me." She placed a hand atop his heart, feeling it beat rapidly against her hand.

"I can't…" his eyes pierced hers. They were so… miserable. It scared her even more.

"What do you mean you can't?" she asked him, desperate to know what was bothering him so she could do whatever it took to help him, comfort him. She stroked his cheek firmer, reminding him of her presence—that she'd always be there.

"I can't do this," he finally spoke, incapable of looking at her as he said it.

She felt her heart breaking as she thought of what he was referring to. Her heart shattered, breaking like fragile glass struck hard by an object. Her tears broke free and she cried; she cried in front of him who shattered her once joyous heart.

"Why?" the only question her mind could think of, but she had no power to ask him why. She feared his answers. She needed his explanation but she dreaded the consequences of knowing. She was already dying inside. She didn't want to suffer more, seeing him broken in front of her broke her just as much.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, taking her hand and lowering it to her side. The grip she had on the fabric of his shirt tightened, unwilling to let go of him just like that.

"No..." she mumbled, shaking her head. "Don't leave," _you promised you'd never leave again. You swore._ Her heart ached, her head was throbbing, and she was sweating bullets.

"We can't do this, Lisa. _I _can't do this," he said, trying to gently pry her hand from his shirt.

"What, Greg? What can't you do?" she inquired him, her mind and voice straining to get through to him.

"Us," he replied, gently putting down her hands which had held onto him tightly again. She couldn't let go—she _can't _let go!

"Greg!" she called as he took his helmet and jacket, quickly putting them on, not looking her way.

"House!" she called out, her voice choked with tears and sobs. He opened the door and closed it behind him. She followed, rushing to the door and opening it. It was no use; the bike's engine was brought to life.

"House!" he wouldn't hear her, he was driving away.

"House!"

"Cuddy!"

"Cuddy, wake up!" House called her name worriedly, shaking her gently. He'd heard her crying out his name while he was reclined on the couch, watching a replay of a Monster Truck Rally.

"Cuddy!" She was sweating.

Her eyes shot open and she clung to him instantly when she realized he was still there, he hadn't left.

"Cuddy…" he whispered in her ear, rubbing her back soothingly, feeling her heart beating rapidly inside her chest as she sobbed and cried in his arms with her face buried in the crook of his neck. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed, thinking of what her nightmare could have been.

"Don't go," she breathed minutes later, clutching him tightly still. She let out a shaky breath before groaning when she felt a slightly strong contraction come over her.

"I won't go anywhere," he murmured against her hair, stroking her back as she trembled in his arms. "Are you okay?" he asked when he felt her tense as if stopping something. She shook her head, biting her lip as another contraction hit her.

"Let's get you settled in bed," he said, carefully shifting her in his arms so he could lay her on her side.

"Don't go," she mumbled, gripping his arm. After that nightmare, she didn't want him away from her side for a while.

"I won't," he promised, brushing away the tendrils that had framed her moist cheeks. He wiped her tears away with his hand. "I'll just turn off the plasma," he told her, planting a kiss on her forehead, squeezing her hand reassuringly before exiting the bedroom.

In less than two minutes he reentered the room, meeting her eyes. He got in bed and spooned her from behind, draping an arm under the curve of her stomach while she pulled his other arm under her neck so she could rest her head on it.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked, his lips firming into a thin line afterwards. She shook her head. He nuzzled her hair, inhaling her and her shampoo's scent.

"Just say you won't leave me again," she whispered, eyes locked onto the window.

House's brows furrowed once more, but nevertheless he whispered truthfully, "I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you," she whispered back, comforted now that what she thought had truly happened was but a nightmare. She couldn't be more grateful.

"Sleep," he told her, stroking her belly like he unconsciously did every night.

"I'm right here."

_**

* * *

June 27, 6 AM**_

"House, House, wake up! We're going to be late!" Cuddy exclaimed in an urgent whisper, shaking his frame as hard as she could to wake him up. She had no other choice, she already tried waking him up like a normal person would. The man just groaned, ignoring her.

"You are not going to be late for your first day back at work!" Cuddy huffed, smacking his arm again and again, mercilessly.

"I'll skip work today. Boss gave me the first day off," he moaned sleepily, turning his head and body away from her and burying his face further into the pillow.

"House!" she whined; he ignored her again. She stood from the bed and rounded it to her side which he had retreated to. She sat on the small space and raked her nails along his back, feeling him shift. She bent forward and matted his neck with wet and sloppy kisses while her hand continued its mapping of his back. He shivered under her touch and she smirked victoriously against his skin. He was _so _easy.

"If you get up and get ready now, I will give you one of the best nights of your life," she seductively bargained, whispering in his ear and nipping it playfully afterwards.

"Not falling for it," he mumbled, eyes closed, "I'll be left high and dry."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and smirked against his skin before pushing him on his back. He kept his eyes screwed shut.

House's eyes shot open, however, when she cupped and squeezed him through his pajama pants. When she was certain she had his undivided attention, she crawled in between his legs and pulled his bottoms down his legs, much to his shock.

He was up in every sense of the word—well, half up. But Cuddy knew he'd be up with a little stimulation. To say that she wasn't affected by the sight of his impressive package was like saying she'd never have sex again—it was never going to happen.

She grasped him with her hands, giving the digital clock on the nightstand a quick glance to keep track of time, and started squeezing and stroking him. He instantly moaned, clutching the bed sheets.

"What are you—"

"Shut up," she ordered, tracing the contours of his body, wishing she could just jump him and satiate her needs. Too bad she couldn't without risking their unborn child.

He had no complaints; he was too carried away by the movement of her hands to care about anything else. She stroked him languidly, feeling him start to harden in her hands. She moved her hands up and down his length, her other hand sometimes diving low to massage his testicles.

He opened one eye and watched as she worked her magic on him. She must have noticed him staring because she used that to her advantage, bringing a hand to her mouth and licking it to provide moisture for when she gripped him again. She was already dressed for work—she had hours to spare and she was already demanding him to get ready?

She then moved to kneel in front of him—if he wasn't so turned on by her ministrations he would have made a crack at how weird she looked—stroking him vigorously before she started kissing his inner thighs. His breath hitched when she took him in her mouth, instantly applying suction, and making him gasp then moan. The thought of her lipstick being smeared onto him somehow became much more of a turn on, making him harder and harder in her mouth and hands. He felt like putty, under the power of such an amazing woman.

She took him in and out, sucking on him once in a while, using her hands on the space she couldn't take in. He moaned when he hit the roof of her mouth, moaning and throwing his head back onto the pillows. She pulled out, running her lips and tongue along and around him, moaning for effect and partly because she truly needed him.

"Cuddy," he moaned sexily, and she hummed in reply.

Her mouth dipped lower, resting against his balls, fondling him with her hands before coaxing a primal groan from him as she snaked her tongue up the underside of him to take him in her mouth again.

She did this until she felt him starting to tremble, his breathing turning a little more laborious.

She looked at his euphoric face, almost nearing that plateau of pleasure. She almost felt sorry for him, knowing what she had planned to do all along.

She pulled away, licked his slit before placing an apologetic kiss on the tip of his member, officially pulling him back from the edge he was about to fall on.

"God!" he grunted, frustrated beyond belief. His breathing was still erratic, not bothering to compose himself. She looked at him, only feeling half-sorry he didn't finish. One of his hands shot down, seemingly aiming to finish the deed by himself, but her hand stopped him.

"If you want that happy ending, go get ready and I'll give you…" she stood from the bed and sat beside him again so she could whisper in his ear, "_multiple _happy endings tonight."

He huffed in absolute frustration before gingerly dragging his body to the bathroom, cursing her under his breath. She really didn't give a damn as long as she got him to do what she wanted him to do.

She laughed when she heard him mumble, "She-devil," under his breath.

"Go finish what I've started and hurry up! We're going to be late!" she called out before walking to the dresser, grabbing her lipstick before following him to the bathroom after she heard the shower start running. She brushed her teeth quickly and exited the room, needing to reapply her makeup and lipstick—she would have retouched in the bathroom, but seeing him finish himself off was torture for her.

Thirty minutes—and a reprimand for taking so much time—later, they exited the house and made their way to the hospital with Cuddy mostly excited about having him back, and House apprehensive about being glad although thankful that he'd be dealing with the puzzles again.

_**

* * *

July 11, 3:45 PM**_

"Blood test confirming Hep C. He got sicker; his viral load came up, finally showed up on the test," House told Cuddy as she read over the file he had handed her.

Cuddy lowered the file, a small, thankful smile on her lips. "Thank you. There was a time when you would have completely ignored my request. That means a lot that you respect me enough to do this," she honestly told him.

House nodded, somehow able to hide how uncomfortable he was feeling because of her words. He could tell her at that moment, he thought. Sadly, he didn't; he opted to hide it from her still.

He gave her a nod, looking at her a bit playfully and said, "I've come a long way, baby."

Cuddy gave him a smile before shooing him out of her office; she had more things to deal with before that day was over.

_**

* * *

8:15 PM**_

"Wanna have late dinner out?" he asked her as he signed some paperwork she wanted him to.

Cuddy shook her head, wishing she could. "I have to work late. Gloating about you finally choosing to listen to me requires a lot of paperwork," she said, smiling.

"See how much easier things would be if I didn't have to listen to you?" he smirked, craning his neck to look at her, "Less paperwork!"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, "More lawsuits! I'd take paperwork over lawsuits any day!" She suddenly grinned before leaning into him and pressing her lips to his and slapping his ass playfully.

He gave her that trademark smirk she'd learned to love over the years before handing her the files he had signed.

"It's late, give yourself a break," he told her when she pulled away and gathered the papers on his desk.

"I'll take a cab home," she told him, kissing his cheek before wrapping her arms around him. His hands settled on her waist before they slid to hold her abdomen, smiling as he felt a soft kick from within. "I really do have to finish some important things."

House stared at the carpet of his office, feeling guilty yet not regretful of what he had done. He caressed her stomach more gently as if in apology. Cuddy smiled at his tenderness before telling him, "Thank you." She was proud of him for opting to try following guidelines for a change.

"Want me to wait for you until you're done?" he offered, shrugging when she smiled at the thoughtfulness. She pulled away from their embrace and shook her head.

She gave him one last kiss and told him she'd see him at home before exiting his office with a smile on her face.

_**

* * *

8:33 PM**_

Cuddy was on her way back to her office when a nurse stopped her for an inquiry.

"Do you know where the Senator's records are?" she asked, eyes glued to the computer monitor.

Cuddy pursed her lips before she replied, telling the nurse, "House was treating Anderson's campaign manager, not the Senator himself."

The nurse took a swift glance at the Dean before breathing an "Oh."

" Why did you think he was the patient?" Cuddy's brows furrowed, suspicious now.

" House saw him in the clinic. I guess it wasn't medical," the nurse shrugged, not really concerned.

"When?" Cuddy asked.

"Friday. Around 3."

Cuddy's stomach churned. House couldn't have lied to her, could he? "House's team ran a Hep C test on Joe Dugan on Friday. Can you look up the time?" she walked over to the desk, her forehead creasing as she waited for the nurse's reply.

The nurse searched their database records before telling Cuddy, "Chase, Taub, and Foreman were running tests all night. All negative. Positive test at… 3:17 P.M. House ran it himself. Is everything okay?" she looked up towards the very pregnant Dean, brows furrowed now as well.

Cuddy met her eyes for a second before she started walking out of the clinic, away from her office as well. "I don't think so," she said as realization came over her. Her voice was barely audible as she tried her best to stop the tears from falling. She felt like an idiot. She walked to the nearest fire exit and sat on the steps. It took her a few minutes before the first few tears fell.

So much for all that talk about respect.

Her boyfriend and the father of her child was a real bastard.

She felt so betrayed.  
_**

* * *

**_

When Cuddy got home that night, she didn't bother greeting him. When he joined her in the bedroom, she just cited that she was exhausted and that it had nothing to do with him.

He didn't believe her but he let it slide; he was sure she was genuinely tired.

_**

* * *

July 12, 3 PM**_

"What?" she snapped tired of him annoying her with his questions. He had lied to her about a test. A test he really didn't perform. He was right, okay, but he went behind her back and lied to her! He had the audacity to lie to her! So okay, fine, he had lied to her God knows how many times before, but still, he lied. It mattered more now because they were in a relationship.

"Why are you mad?" he asked her, knowing exactly why she was mad at him. He wouldn't apologize, though. He had done the right thing and he saved his patient's life by not wasting time. Besides, she'd get over it, he thought. He had spoken to Wilson earlier, telling his best friend that Cuddy must already know about Dugan and all that.

"You tell me!" she said, avoiding him. She headed to her file cabinet, intent on filing noisily through folders just to release some of the anger bubbling inside her.

"You know." He acquiesced, bringing up the topic once and for all. He owed her that. But he didn't think he owed her an apology. He didn't lie to his girlfriend, he lied to his boss.

"Of course, I know! It's my hospital, for God's sake, House!" she hissed, turning to look at him. He felt uncomfortable seeing the disappointment painting her face. He felt bad being the one who put that look there. But he stood firm: he wouldn't apologize for doing the right thing.

"Just go," she said, turning to face the file cabinet again.

"Can't we even talk about it?" he asked, forehead creasing.

Cuddy sighed, running a hand across her expanding belly. "You can't apologize, we can't talk," she told him simply, trying to compose herself. Her hormones were making it challenging, though.

House closed his eyes, internally fighting his stubborn, stubborn pride. "I'm not apologizing for doing the right thing," he told her, gritting his teeth, not annoyed at her but at himself.

"Lying to me was not the right thing," she lectured, glancing at him before looking back at the file she'd found.

House rubbed his temple with his fingers before sighing deeply as he said, "I lied to save my patient's life. I didn't lie to you, I lied to my boss. Either of those arguments working yet?" he frowned when she slammed the cabinet shut, a resounding bang echoing through the corners of her office, and walked back to sit on her ergonomic chair.

House stared at the top of her head. He puffed out his cheeks before he clicked his tongue and told her, "Well, I guess I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Maybe you could crash at Wilson's! Maybe he could teach you how to apologize!" she called out sarcastically when she heard him walking away.

The door to her office closed and she sighed deeply before burying her face in both of her hands.

_**

* * *

July 25, 2 PM**_

Cuddy eventually tried to forget about House lying to her. They were still somewhat avoiding each other, but she would never be able to change him. House was House. She did her best to try and forget his offense. Most of the time she was successful; sometimes, she hurt thinking he couldn't even lower his pride for her. He was still the same, but these days he just kept acting like he did nothing wrong. It was hard for her to control her urge to confront him about it but she was able to do so. She just wished he'd come around soon. She wanted things back to their type of normalcy.

When she thought they'd somehow get there soon enough, House just had to get himself into another mess. Her heart practically stopped upon hearing his idiotic move, cursing him and worrying for him at the same time. What had he been thinking?

Cuddy's face was slightly pale as she put a red Hazmat suit in the airlock. She could see him pacing the room, thinking, diagnosing—who knew what theory he was thinking of. Did he even feel remorse upon entering that room? Did he even think of her or their unborn daughter? They'd never know what the problem really was until the tests showed results and until other symptoms arose. But alongside the waiting came the risks and complications.

She didn't want to think about the 'what ifs' of the situation. Seeing him in that isolation room was torturous and painful enough. She didn't know what she'd do without him.

She leaned her elbows on the top surface of the airlock box and met his eyes while one of her hands tried to massage her temple. "This is what happens when you have no respect for authority, no respect for anything."

"You don't think it's a little much to use the threat of death to win a totally separate argument with your boyfriend?"

Cuddy sighed, "You think this is about the other thing?"

"Does seem to track suspiciously closely," he smirked.

Cuddy leaned heavier on the box, concerned. "House… I don't care right now that you lied to me, or what your reason was for going inside there. I just…" she bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying at the thought of losing him.

"I want you to stay alive," she disclosed her only wish.

"Put the suit on," she ordered softly a moment later, her eyes misty.

"Don't cry," he awkwardly told her. "I won't die, you idiot," he gave her a small reassuring smile.

Too bad, she didn't seem the least bit comforted by it.

House sighed deeply.

_**

* * *

6 PM**_

"Do you think it's… karma?"

"Don't tell me you believe in karma."

"Any fever, nausea? How are you feeling?" she asked before pressing her palm to her forehead. "I don't understand why you had to do this."

"I don't believe in karma, Cuddy." He sighed.

"First, you lie to me. Second, you do this. What's the third time going to be?" she somberly asked him, her eyes searching his soul, piercing his heart. She hated it when he got stuck in situations like the one he was in now. She was the one who always got hurt.

House looked at her, his gaze never straying from hers. Why was hurting her inevitable when they worked together? He frowned. He knew he should have turned down going back to diagnostics. It had been better working just as a consultant. It was far less complicated.

"I think you should go rest," he said, his voice soft as he looked her in the eyes. His hands longed to touch her, his arms longed to surround her and let her drift off to sleep. She didn't need this. She didn't need the stress that accompanied what he'd just done. Her pregnancy was already high risk as it was.

But the sad thing was she was being stressed by all this—by him and his stupid actions and decisions. It was taking its toll on her, he could see it in the way she moved, the way she talked. Waiting for answers was exhausting, especially if the one waiting was a pregnant woman who was also waiting for confirmation on her boyfriend's possible fate.

"I wouldn't be stressed out like this if you didn't find it necessary to storm inside an isolation room!" she suddenly snapped, her voice hitching. It'd been hours and he hadn't been able to come up with anything. His team continuously ran tests and differentials. She was, among many other emotions, insanely exhausted and afraid.

"For heaven's sake, House, we're having a daughter! _You're _going to be a father; I'm pregnant yet you go barging into a room with a highly infectious disease spreading inside it! HOW can I rest when every time I leave you, I fear you'll be taken away from me and our child in the snap of two fingers?" she cried out in a pained hiss, her eyes blazing with pain, anger, and disappointment.

It killed him.

"Hey," House gently called out, "Relax. It's—"

"It is _not _going to be okay until we figure out what this is," she gestured towards the man lying prostrate on the bed a few feet away from House. "It is _not _going to be okay until you're out of that room _alive_!" she said, wanting to say that one of the reasons she wanted him out of there alive was so that she could kill him herself.

"All you care about is yourself, House… you could die, you know that? And I'm still torn between hating you for lying to me and going inside that room!" her chest was heaving as her pained eyes took in his concerned ones. She couldn't believe he didn't even think about her and his daughter. She knew she had to try and understand that what he did was who he was. But this was just intolerable! He had _them_. He couldn't just think of himself now.

"I won't apologize for what I did with Dugan, Cuddy. I did the right thing. I cured my patient, and you can't always get what you want," House mumbled, looking down, though his voice was firm. Times like this he hated his pride and stubbornness.

"You don't get to lie to me!" she hissed, her eyes venomous now. "And you don't get to do… this!" she gestured to him and the place he was in. Her chest was heaving as every emotion inside her threatened to break; spectators be damned.

"I've lied to you a thousand times! And I had to do this," he said, his hands motioning to the ground he was standing on. "I had to—"

"You had to what? Prove you're right, as always? Well, fuck you, House. You're wrong _this_ crucial time! You don't get to play God this time!" she spat before sighing and shaking her head. She pursed her lips and lifted her head to look him in the eyes, trying hard not to cringe as a contraction seared her insides. Her eyes were disappointed, worried, and sad at the same time as she told him, "Now look at what you've done, not only to yourself but to me and our daughter as well. We're left with a man who challenges life and couldn't even apologize for lying." A tear slipped down her face and she vehemently wiped at it, not wanting to show him her tears.

"Cuddy… I've lied to you a thousand times, I've done crazier things in the past," House murmured, not wanting to acknowledge what he thought was an implication of how much he'd screwed up just after weeks of starting to work for and with her again.

Cuddy's mouth closed instead of shouting back, upset that he decided to ignore her practically telling him that he was screwing them up with his brash decisions as of late. "You have," she nodded curtly, "And I've forgiven you for each one... until now."

"What is the _big deal_ about now, Cuddy? Because let me tell you, nothing's changed!" House hissed, not wanting to raise his voice to her if he could help it.

"Everything's changed! We're in a relationship, we're having a daughter; but we still work together." Cuddy desperately wanted him to see what she meant.

"You didn't even bother rectifying it _after _your case, you don't even bother apologizing right now for going in there without any solid proof of your theories!" she shook her head, utterly disappointed. She bit her lower lip when another strong contraction hit her out of nowhere. Her grip on the glass box connected to the wall tightened.

"Cuddy, are you okay?" House asked, wanting badly to hold her and see for himself.

"Don't change the subject!" she growled, the pain making her snap. She looked down to hide her face as the contraction stretched for long seconds. God, what was happening?

"I'm not! Trust me, you could go back to yelling at me once I know you're alright," he said, his voice's tone in between annoyed and concerned.

"God, you're such an ass!" she shouted against the glass through gritted teeth, wanting to hit him. Actually, she just wanted the pain to be gone. She wanted to go home and just forget that her contractions were coming in short intervals and that the father of her child _could die_.

"Don't give me that crap about compartmentalizing because we can't do that. Maybe _you _could, House, but _I _can't!" Cuddy said, raising her head to meet his gaze, her hand gesturing towards herself.

"I lied to my boss, not my girlfriend," House said, adamant on not apologizing. He had done nothing wrong! Okay, maybe this time he outdid himself, but…

"House, when you chose to lie to your boss, you _inadvertently_ chose to lie to your girlfriend! My roles don't separate me from who I am; _I am_ your boss _and _girlfriend!" Cuddy explained her point, biting her lip as she felt like the room around her was spinning. She held a hand up to her forehead, trying to assuage the pain she was feeling in her head. Her other hand protectively cradled her stomach, pained as she was.

"Cuddy," House whispered distractedly, fixated at the trickle of blood along the inside of her leg.

"Cuddy, you're bleeding."

Cuddy knew she was going to fall. She knew it was coming. She tried to lower herself, leaning against the glass, so that when she fell, it'd soften the blow even if slightly.

"Cuddy!" he cried in a thunderous bellow as she fell to the ground. Her head hit the floor, rendering her unconscious. He pressed himself against the glass, trying in vain to reach her, hold her, carry her to triage and find out what was wrong.

"Cuddy!" God, his heart was racing in its cavity; his blood pressure was through the roof as he watched her lying on her side, unconscious.

"Dr. Cuddy!" a nurse exclaimed, running to where the gurneys were parked and shouting at other nurses on the floor. "Dr. Foreman!" she called out when she saw the doctor about to make his way to another part of the hospital.

"Dr. Foreman, Dr. Cuddy just collapsed, I need your help," she cried professionally, her worry affecting her voice.

Foreman's brows scrunched in concern but nonetheless followed the nurse, along with other male nurses rushing to help their boss.

"God, House, what did you do?" Foreman inquired as he bent down, chancing a glance at his boss' worry-stricken face. He then looked down to his boss's boss, whose face was sweating bullets and skin spiking up a low-grade fever.

Foreman and some nurses lifted Cuddy onto a gurney, rushing her to the ICU. House's fists pounded against the glass, wishing it would break and he could go after her.

"House! Stop it!" Chase said, raising his hands up, trying to get his boss to calm down.

"How do you expect me to calm the hell down?" House exclaimed, his face flushed, his ears searing red as he continued to glance in the direction Cuddy was taken. His fist curled even tighter as the storm of emotions raging inside him threatened to rage anyone who dared cross his path. His knuckles were as white as slate. Why couldn't he have just kept his mouth shut? Why did he have to argue with her? Guilt oozed from every pore in his body. He couldn't just stand there, staring. He had to see her, he had to help her, he _needed _to apologize—he _wanted _to apologize.

"Call Broda," House ordered in a stoic whisper, eyes never leaving where he last saw _her _unconscious body being wheeled to.

"House, wh—"

Chase was about to try and calm him down again but he was caught unaware and was forced to do as he was demanded when House suddenly roared his command again.

"I said call Broda! NOW!"

_**

* * *

A/N: **_Longest chapter of Absence! Will Cuddy and Sofia be okay? Do _you _want House's girls to be okay? Will House get to Cuddy in time?  
Click the ***Review*** button and do let me know what you think!

_**FOR SPOILERS/Sneak Peeks/teasers:**_ follow me on Twitter: Iane_Casey  
-I sometimes give out spoilers in my reply/ies to your reviews when I feel generous. Lol. ;)


	41. Cry

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I don't own anything related to Fox or the TV show House. I'm only borrowing some characters. The characters belong to David Shore and company. Scenes/lines taken from "A Pox on Our House" and a bit of "Small Sacrifices" are not mine either. They belong to whoever amazing [H]ouse writer wrote them._

* * *

As always, ;D, thank you to my writing buddy, **Penelope S Cartwright,** for betaing! Read her fics, people! Awesome stuff! :D  
Also, special thanks to those who contributed thoughts and PsOV (PSC included) which helped me come up with this chap: **Oc7ober** and the one and only** w8ing4huddy**! :D

_**

* * *

A/N: This took me quite some time to write. LOL. Why? It topped A39. This now has the most number of words in Absence history. And, it need not be said, UNI kills my time to write. **_

_THANK YOU SO MUCH! For the reviews last chapter! Please keep them coming, anon or signed—I love hearing your thoughts, musings, fears and or frustrations! :D You guys have no idea how much it helps! ;D_

_**Okay, this is OFFICIALLY the 40**__**th**__** chapter. ;) **_

_**So, of course, it should have quite a memorable thing in it, right? :D Yes, yes? **_

_**Leave some love and sugar and reviews if you like/love the chapter! :D Constructive criticism is also very appreciated! ;D  
**_

_**Enjoy!**_

_**

* * *

ABSENCE**_

_**

* * *

CHAPTER 40:**__** CRY**_

_**.**_

House struck the glass with his fist one last time before he allowed himself to slide onto the floor, damning himself and how difficult it was to sit in the suit he was wearing.

All he could think about was her; how she was and what he'd done. What if she miscarried? What if something went wrong? What if Sofia…

He shook his head from side to side rapidly, his mitted hands gripping the back of his head, instantly dismissing those thoughts.

He wanted to hit himself, to inflict pain on himself for what he'd done to her. He wanted to see her; to see if she was alright and to apologize for what an idiot he'd been. For what an insensitive son-of-a-bitch he'd been to her. He acted too callously. He was such an idiot, he had forgotten about her condition, of the risks stressing and pressuring her could cause. He had not only lied to her and resisted apologizing, but he also put her in the position of worrying for his life.

He didn't want to think of worst-case scenarios but he couldn't help himself.

He'd never forgive himself if something happened to her or Sofia.

"Dr. House, I heard about what happened to Dr. Cuddy," Dr. Broda, the CDC's Head of Infection Control, said as he stopped inches from the glass panel.

"You need to get me out of here," House's voice was deadly serious although humility showed on his face. He'd beg to see Cuddy and assess her himself.

Broda immediately frowned. "I don't think I could do that, Dr. House," he said frankly. "Not until we've secured a diagnosis for your patient. Don't say I didn't warn you earlier."

"Look," House hissed with malice that didn't seem to intimidate Broda the slightest. "Cuddy _collapsed_. She's carrying _my _kid," he told the man, inching closer to the glass panel with every word he spewed. "If something happens to her while I'm stuck in here, I'll hunt you down when I get out. Get me out of here, now!" House's breathing was labored; his insides were being ravaged by a tornado of emotions.

"She wouldn't have collapsed if you hadn't gone inside that room. Anyway, I wish I could, but we have to assume you've contracted what he has," Broda said, his voice professional and calm. He did feel bad for the man. But he had it coming, defying authority like that. "I'm sorry, Dr. House," he said, turning to head back to the diagnostician's office to try and diagnose the patient along with the man's team.

"Hey!" House yelled angrily when Broda turned his back on him. "Hey!" he shouted again, but Broda didn't so much as turn his neck to look back.

With all the rage inside him, he slammed the underside of his hand against the glass a second time, the sound reverberating through the four corners of the isolation room. It only reminded him all the more of how dim-witted he was to go in there.

"House!" Wilson called out, his voice pissed off. "What the hell did you do? Why did Cuddy collapse?" he asked. His face was flushed with anger. How could he be so insensitive? "What were you even thinking? I just got back after a call from my assistant! What in the world were you thinking?" Wilson demanded an answer, his hands on his hips.

House had the decency to look guilty and embarrassed, his head hanging low. "That's just it, I wasn't thinking," he mumbled so quietly that Wilson barely heard him.

"How do you plan to fix this?" Wilson asked, comforted that the man in front of him whose pride and stubbornness was seemingly unconquerable, stood in front of him with deflated pride.

"I don't know," he shook his head, his anger dissipating into disappointment in himself. "But I plan on doing something as soon as I get out of here."

House sighed deeply, visibly distressed. He met Wilson's eyes, his own cerulean orbs pleading for any sort of reassurance that Cuddy and Sofia were okay. Wilson knew what House wanted.

House's forehead creased even more as he dejectedly revealed, "No one will tell me anything."

"There's nothing to tell, yet," Wilson finally decided to at least inform his best friend. He planned on withholding information from House, as harsh as that sounded, but seeing how guilty and regretful the man was for what he'd caused, Wilson decided that House had enough on his plate.

"Cuddy was given an IV and Sofia was hooked up with a fetal monitor. Cuddy's blood pressure is slightly above normal for her pregnancy and she has a low-grade fever. Nothing critical and I hope it stays that way. I'm sorry, House, but you really did outdo yourself today," Wilson sighed heavily, running his hand along his nape.

"I know!" House suddenly snapped at Wilson. He didn't need his nagging. He needed to cure the man on the bed a few feet away from him. Or at least come up with a diagnosis. Wilson stared at him, brows furrowed. House lowered his head before mumbling, "I know. Please, just… just look after her while I'm in here."

"Of course," Wilson promised in a heartbeat.

House was about to tell him something when the patient suddenly groaned accompanied by beeps from the various monitors in the room.

"I'll be right back," House told Wilson in a quiet whisper.

Niles, House's patient, tilted his head to the side to look at his family. He wouldn't even be able to hold them before he departed from this life. "I'm not gonna make it, am I?" he asked, meeting House's eyes for a few seconds before moving them back to the people he loved.

House didn't answer. Instead, he told him, "You should say good-bye to your family." Nodding, Niles panted as he waited for House to unhook the lines and wheel his bed closer to his family. House walked back to Wilson who was distraught. They only listened, not looking, and allowed the family as much privacy as they could give.

A few minutes later, House was peeled off the glass wall as the shrill sounds of the monitors and the ever-so-familiar sound of flat-lining and vitals dropping drastically filled the room. House quickly wheeled the crash cart near the bed and attempted to resuscitate his patient. He used the paddles first before climbing onto the bed to administer CPR, all in vain. He checked Niles' pulse, looking at the monitor's screen: all the lines had gone flat.

Wilson met his defeated gaze when he looked away from Niles to Niles' crying family.

"I'm sorry," Wilson whispered, eyes meeting House's.

"Me too."

_**

* * *

6:33 PM**_

House watched as the people who loved the dead man a few feet away from him cried in each other's arms, unable to hold their beloved. For some reason, he wondered if that was what Cuddy also felt the moment she saw him in the room, not knowing if he'd come out alive or dead and untouchable.

As he gazed at the man lying prostrate and deceased on the bed, he couldn't help but think that he took the man away from his family. His own pride had hindered him from solving this case in time. His smugness and lack of respect for authority had gone over the line yet again, and this time he felt that which he hated feeling: guilt. He couldn't bear to look at the woman and the boy crying in each other's arms.

Would he have solved this in time if he hadn't gone in and tried to prove himself right? Would he have saved this family's paternal figure had he ignored his itching desire to demonstrate his smugness, pride, and confidence in being right most of the time?

Unfortunately, for him, those questions wouldn't matter now. The man was dead and his family lost a paternal figure.

The world and life would go on despite this loss.

Now, all that was left to think about was how to save his life by figuring out what killed the dead man near him, and how he could make it up to Cuddy.

His guilt ate at him, feasting on his mind.

How could he have done this to Cuddy?

How could he have done this to his own family?

_**

* * *

9:40 PM**_

Cuddy's eyes slowly opened to the dim lights in a room she couldn't identify just yet. But if her sense of smell was right, she was in a room at her own hospital, confined—well, she deduced that she was, due to the needle on one of her hands and the bed on which she laid.

Her hands immediately reached for her abdomen, needing to feel the confirmation that nothing had made a turn for the worst while she'd been out.

"She's still there," Wilson assured her with a small smile. Her head snapped to where he was—she hadn't known that she wasn't alone in the room.

Once assured that her daughter was still there and holding on, she immediately tensed and gasped once her thoughts drifted to her daughter's idiot of a father.

"House—"

"He's still down there," Wilson said, lips pursing. He knew that Cuddy knew the gravity of the situation so he couldn't actually fabricate a lie just to calm her down.

"What time is it?" she asked. Wilson informed her of the time and she bit her lip. "How is he?" she asked, trying to process what she was truly feeling at that moment. She wanted to be mad—she was mad—and sad at the same time, but she didn't want him dead. She wanted him to be okay so she could kill him herself.

"His patient died three hours ago and his team is still trying to figure it out," Wilson informed her, letting her know in the calmest voice he could muster. He looked away from her when he saw a tear fall from her eye. He knew she was breaking.

"He has a low-grade fever now," Wilson added in a low whisper, knowing that despite how much it would stress her more, she wouldn't like it if he kept even the smallest bit of information from her. He learned from past mistakes. "Who knows, maybe it's just Couvade Syndrome," he joked, trying to lighten up her mood even if just a fraction. Thankfully, it worked a little bit because she gave a ghost of a smile and shook her head.

"He's going to be okay, Cuddy," he said, trying to comfort her.

"We don't know that," she simply negated.

"Go to him, Wilson," Cuddy ordered him quietly, reaching for a tissue on the bedside table.

"Cuddy, we're doing our best. But please, try taking care of yourself while we try taking care of him. And by that I mean try not stressing yourself too much," Wilson pleaded, waiting for her reply. She gave him a brisk nod. He turned and exited the room when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, knowing for sure it was House's team trying to contact him.

Cuddy let the tears fall, knowing it'd be worse if she kept it all in. She was thankful that the blinds were shut.

"God, your father's a jackass," she said, chuckling bitterly as she gazed towards the ceiling. She received a light kick from inside her, making her smile softly; Sofia was probably agreeing with her.

_**

* * *

11:12 PM**_

"Lisa! Wilson contacted me and I came as soon as I could," Dr. Kate Owen said, moving quickly to the woman's side and automatically checking her out. It had become a habit.

"I'm feeling much better now, thank you. The low-grade fever from earlier is gone. The blood pressures back to _my _normal. Fetal heart rate's good so I'm deducing Sofia is fine," Cuddy replied, updating her own doctor. She was glad that Kate had taken time from her leave to check how she was doing.

"That's good to hear. What exactly happened?" Kate frowned as Cuddy's face fell.

Cuddy told her about everything, letting her know what she and House had done and said. She didn't really want to go down memory lane and think of it, but she needed a friend and an ear. Kate was ready to listen.

"I'll try and knock some sense into him," Kate winked, trying to alleviate whatever stress was still inside the woman in front of him. Cuddy chuckled, wishing her luck on that.

"I advise you don't get out of that bed other than to pee, poop, or shower," Cuddy's doctor suddenly said as she reached for the ultrasound machine in the room and pulled it near her. "No, I'm not putting you on bed rest again. I'm just putting you on bed rest _tonight _and tomorrow morning_. _Unless we find that you also need to be on bed rest after tomorrow," she teased, causing Cuddy to puff out a breath, while she applied gel on Cuddy's abdomen before positioning the Doppler and slowly roaming the expanse of her stomach for a better angle.

_Just great_, Cuddy thought.

"Hello there, Sofia," Kate suddenly whistled playfully as Sofia flashed through the screen when Kate slowly moved the ultrasound machine's Doppler around.

"She's beautiful," Cuddy whispered, temporarily forgetting her troubles as the image of her daughter moving about brought a smile to her face. She couldn't wait to have her baby in her arms. But she did, however, wish that said baby would wait a few more weeks.

"How about we check your dilation and effacement, since I'm already here?" Kate asked, lips pursing expectantly. Cuddy nodded and called a few nurse to help the doctor set up.

"I know it's a terrible question to ask you, but… if the baby _does _come early, would you want to give birth here or at your original choice, Princeton General?" Kate inquired out of curiosity.

Cuddy moistened her lips before telling her doctor and friend, "I think I'll have her here, if she did come early. But I want _you _to deliver her." Other than that, she didn't really want to think about Sofia coming early. She feared the complications that could compromise her and House's daughter's health. She prayed that their baby would enter the world healthy.

"Okay," Kate smiled, honored by the trust Cuddy had in her.

_**

* * *

July 26, 12:30 MN**_

It had been hours but they had yet to figure out what was wrong with House's dead patient before he could be released.

"You're killing me!" House yelled at the CDC guy, the nagging voice in his head telling him that he was about to run out of air supply and that Cuddy still hadn't woken up—according to Wilson. He had a feeling the man was only messing with him to get even, but he didn't think Wilson could be that harsh. Or could he?

Broda, face as blank as ever, told him, "The suit will protect you if you haven't already been exposed."

House's face contorted into a menacing feat, informing him crankily, "My air supply's almost out!"

"We'll give you another canister." Broda simply stated, eyes never faltering as they stared each other down.

House scowled, "Yeah, and when I change it, I _will be_ exposed."

"Just move him!" Wilson exclaimed, just as pissed off as House was at the man.

"I wish I could," Broda said. House scoffed, _yeah right_, he thought.

The man's face angered House more. "Oh, that's great!'Cause you know what you can do? You can move me. You don't know that I have smallpox yet."

"We have to assume."

"There's another isolation room on the fifth floor," Wilson told Broda, his voice firm.

Broda's face contorted into annoyance as he reminded Wilson of the problem they would be facing if they attempted to move the stubborn diagnostician, "The problem is getting him from here to there!"

"So it's inconvenient. My having a fighting chance at life is inconvenient!" House shouted in disbelief, his face centimeters from the glass.

"I'm sorry."

Defeated, House glanced at Wilson, their eyes terribly worried.

Only time would tell if he had contracted the disease.

He hoped, as he never allowed himself to do so before, that it wasn't Smallpox.

_**

* * *

7:00 AM**_

House craned his head towards the hall when the sounds of his team running towards Broda echoed in his ears. He stood from his position in the floor and walked closer to the glass, waiting for someone to speak.

"Just start them on doxycycline," Foreman said, trying to catch his breath.

Broda's brows furrowed. "Based on a bald cat? You never heard of shedding?"

Foreman shrugged, "What's the downside?"

"If we shove her full of antibiotics plus the antivirals, it'll suppress her bone marrow," Broda explained, irritated.

"That girl's about to die," Chase said, pointing towards the girl.

"She probably is, and I don't want to risk pushing her over the edge!"

Foreman just told him, "At least look at the dad's body. Small patches of black, dead tissue will prove I'm right. Eschars appear with rickettsialpox but not with smallpox."

"If he had developed eschars, I would have noticed," Broda stated.

"You haven't been within 20 feet of the guy in hours," Chase commented. He gestured to two men carrying cans about to enter the isolation room, telling Broda, "Have them check."

"Their job is to bleach the body, kill the virus, and get it out of there for Dr. House's sake."

"Bleaching the body will destroy all evidence of rickettsialpox!" Foreman said, running out of patience.

"There is no evidence! I'm not trying to hurt anyone here. I'm not lying to you. This is smallpox," Broda said, agitated.

Foreman knew there was nothing else he could do to persuade Broda into not bleaching the body so he turned to the glass. "House, you have to examine the body," he told him, watching the men as they closed the door to the room.

"I'm not going anywhere near it!" House said, not wanting to take the risk thinking of the many times he's been wrong that day.

"Look for eschars, hurry!" Foreman instructed urgently.

At the mention of eschars, House's interest was suddenly piqued as he inquired, "You think it's r-pox?"

Foreman nodded. "The Captain had a cat. It lost its fur and then died."

House moved from the glass and walked quickly to the corpse, ignoring Broda's warning about stepping away from the body. House uncovered the body which was still oozing blood. He started examining it, but he fumbled, his gloves getting in the way of examining it properly.

"It's kind of hard to do an autopsy in oven mitts!" he announced, glancing back at his team.

"Then take them off!"

House snorted indignantly, "Says the man standing behind two panes of glass."

Foreman looked at him, meeting his eyes as he asked, "Do you believe me? Forget me. Do you believe you? You think it's rickettsialpox, don't you? If it is, it's curable, and she's gonna die unless we can prove it."

"You really are annoying, Foreman." House took a deep breath, taking one last look at Foreman, Cameron, and Chase before removing his gloves. He started examining the body once again whilst Broda gestured to the two other men to hurry up.

"Come on, House. Come on." Foreman chanted, at the edge of his seat as they awaited the confirmation or the impending lack of one. The two men entered the room and came close to House who was still moving the body.

House never thought he'd be as relieved as he was at the moment he saw an Eschar. "Eschar," he whispered in shock. "Eschar!" he then exclaimed in unrestrained relief, showing the people outside the tiny black patch.

The two other men inside checked to see and confirm. They looked to Broda and nodded.

Relief washed over every individual in and outside the room.

Reassured, Broda nodded to House before instructing nobody in particular, "Get the girl on Doxycycline. Right now."

The moment House removed his helmet he glanced at Foreman, giving him a nod of gratitude and respect. Despite the lack of words, Foreman knew what House was trying to say with his actions...

"Thank you."

_**

* * *

8:30 AM**_

The moment he got out of the isolation room, House rushed to the showers, not wanting to risk giving Cuddy and their kid anything, and cleaned himself as fast and thoroughly as he could.

As he hurried to Cuddy's room, he ran into Dr. Owen as she was about to leave the suite Cuddy was in.

"How is she?" House asked her, his eyes on Cuddy's sleeping form. "Did you stay the night?" he added as an afterthought.

Owen shook her head. "I just dropped by this morning to check again. I was here last night," she informed him.

House nodded. "Wilson told me."

"How is she?" he asked again.

"She's doing well. Her BP went back to what's normal for her a few hours after she fainted, and the baby is fine," Owen answered. "Although I did give her something to try and delay what I think is an incoming preterm labor. I also had her put on corticosteroids to hasten the baby's lung development, just in case she comes too soon."

"It'd be too early," House mumbled as the gears in his mind started working.

Owen nodded in agreement, looking at him. "We should try and hold off delivering prematurely as long as we could. Hopefully your kid doesn't take after you and decides to go against our preferred schedule," she added, trying to lighten the mood with a small joke.

House smirked at her, "I'm _always_ late."

"Maybe the baby's not yours," she teased, grinning.

House opted to glare at her for that comment for a while before letting his face fall into his thinking face when Owen's face suddenly took on a serious outlook.

"What?" House asked, frowning.

"What you did earlier, please don't do it again. And please, apologize to her. Note that I said _please _to _you_."

"I won't, and I will," House whispered truthfully. It had become a wake-up call, what happened.

Owen sighed before opting to explain further and let him know that she didn't blame him, not entirely. "Dr. House, I'm not saying it was your fault. It wasn't the going-inside-an-isolation-room per se but the shouting and arguing to the extent of stressing each other. It didn't do her good as you must have seen," House nodded. "I'll be monitoring her to make sure no complications arise."

House's face scrunched up in thought, internally thankful though he was, "Don't you have other patients?"

Owen smiled softly. "My week is free, I'm on leave. Besides, Cuddy isn't just a patient, she's a friend."

House nodded in acknowledgment of what she had just said, glancing back at the woman he loved inside the room before them.

"Thank you," he told her, locking eyes with the doctor before nodding and excusing himself. Owen walked towards the elevators while House carefully and quietly snuck into the room.

_**

* * *

8:55 AM**_

It was insane, what he did. He knew he was practically the epitome of insanity when it came to practicing medicine, but what he did had really gone over the line this time. He realized that even more as he gazed down at her sleeping form; on her side, a hand next to her face on the pillow while the other that was hooked up with an IV settled, as always, cradling her bump protectively.

He pulled the lounge chair from its place and dragged it as close as virtually possible to the bed, wanting nothing more than to be close to her without waking her up. He was beyond relieved to see that nothing too serious had happened.

He managed a glance at her patient file on the foot of the bed. He could not help himself from being a doctor. He could never just be her lover. He'd always be both, even if, God forbid, she needed his intelligent diagnostic mind at some point. He stood and took it before going back to his spot on the chair.

He gazed at her for a few minutes before finally focusing his intense orbs on the folder in his hands, attention solely on the information before him.

He cringed nevertheless as he read the confirmation of Owen's words that Cuddy had indeed been given corticosteroids for Sofia's lung and brain development. As he took in the information relayed on the chart, he could not help but remember the updates about Cuddy that he had received earlier.

Chase had told him hours ago that her fever had broken. Wilson updated him every half an hour just so he would shut up and stop asking him how she was. Foreman had come to him two times; the first, letting him know how much of an insensitive ass he was—he couldn't agree more—and the second, letting him know that Cuddy's blood pressure had returned to normal bounds. Cameron had been to see him once with regards to Cuddy, utterly speechless about how low he went this time.

He had wished that there were blinds in the room so he could hide from all the deadly glares and penetrating stares of people who have gone down and given him a piece of their minds after words about what happened to Cuddy spread like wildfire through the hospital.

But, maybe, he deserved each and every look given to him, the jackass who didn't know when to shut his mouth and submit; the incorrigible misanthropic cynic who did not know of the words "I'm sorry" and 'apology'. Maybe he did deserve to suffer for what he'd done.

He should have known better than to argue with her.

He should have known better, period.

He could not help but ache as he looked at her in the hospital bed.

He brought her there.

But, as undeserving as he felt he was for her, he wouldn't dare leave. He had promised her he wouldn't leave her again. He intended to keep that promise.

_**

* * *

9:15 AM**_

She woke up to the feel of a warm hand settled atop hers, and prickly hair against her clothed abdomen. Cuddy opened her eyes to the dim light of her suite, glancing down to find House asleep by her bedside. His head faced her and she could see that the events had not only affected her, but it also took its toll on him. That dissipated her annoyance and disappointment in him. Just a little bit.

He was out of the isolation room; he was with her now. He was well and safe. His forehead was still knitted, seemingly still deep in thought even in sleep.

Her heart swelled with relief incomparable. He was safe.

But she was still a bit mad at him. She should be, right? He should know his place, and he should know when to draw the line.

She glanced at the large hand clasping hers, thankful that instead of running from them after what had happened earlier, he chose to be the man she needed and wanted; he chose to stay by her side. She lifted her free hand and brushed her fingers though his hair, comforted that she could touch him again. A light smile touched her face when she felt Sofia kick inside her, seemingly welcoming her father back as well.

Those heavenly blue orbs suddenly fluttered open before focusing on her, meeting her tired sapphires, full of emotion.

She was going to greet him, but he was quick to silence her with a finger upon her lips. He stood from the chair, bent forward and kissed her upturned lips as his right hand cupped the back of her skull. He breathed in her scent mixed with the smell of antiseptic. He felt her warmth, thankful that the fever was indeed gone.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, moving his lips to her forehead, making her emotions stir in reaction to his words.

"You're a son of a bitch," she mumbled, her voice chocked as she unsuccessfully tried to stop herself from tearing up. She had to remind herself that he was fine now; he was going to be alright. _They _were going to be alright. But she was still mad at him for doing what he did.

"I know."

"I should have stopped. I shouldn't have gone in. I should have thought of you and Sofia," he mumbled against her forehead, genuinely.

"You should have," Cuddy agreed in a husky whisper. "Could you please," she hated to say it, "just… leave me alone for a while? I…" she looked into his eyes, and she hated herself a bit for the sadness that suddenly took over those cerulean oceans. "I need to think."

House stared at her for a while before he bent forward and attempted to peck her on the lips. She craned her neck to the side so his lips only landed on her cheek.

"I'll go home, get us some clothes… just in case…" he didn't finish that statement. He knew how close to home it had touched.

"Don't," she warned, gritting her teeth and closing her eyes. "Just… go."

"I'll be back," he told her, his words letting her know that he wasn't going to run from this. It comforted her a bit.

She wouldn't be able to stay mad at him for long, she knew that. She just wanted to teach him a lesson. She got her apology, but there was something more she needed.

She was just confused about what she really felt at the moment. She really did need time to think.

She watched as he exited her suite, quickly turning her head away when he glanced one last time at her before she moved from his line of sight.

Cuddy sighed, wishing she could put a stop to her stubbornness.

Taking another shuddering breath, she decided that she'd forgive him later, for real.

_**

* * *

9:45 AM**_

"Hey," Wilson greeted after knocking on the glass door of her suite.

"Good morning," Cuddy replied with a soft smile as she eyed the untouched juice carton in his hand.

"Peace offering before I go and defend your stupid boyfriend," Wilson announced, handing her the carton.

"And it's orange!" Cuddy exclaimed in feigned surprise. "What do you _really _want to talk about?" she teased.

Wilson shrugged before finally speaking, telling her, "What House did yesterday was over the line, I know. But, I think you should forgive him later. I found out you made him leave earlier. The man's guilt-ridden. He has, surprisingly, learned his lesson. You should have seen how distressed he was yesterday after you fainted," Wilson said.

"I will forgive him. I just want him to grovel just a bit more," Cuddy said seriously before a small grin tugged at her lips.

Wilson's raised an eyebrow before his eyes narrowed in on her. "In the words of Gregory House, "You are an evil, cunning woman!" he said, pointing his index finger at her.

"He wouldn't love me if I weren't," Cuddy smugly stated, shrugging.

Wilson chuckled, nodding in approval.

_**

* * *

10:30 AM**_

"Hey," she said with a small smile on her lips, eyeing the food he had probably bought as a peace offering.

"Mine?" she asked playfully, making his previously tense form relax. He was glad she wasn't that mad at him anymore.

He nodded, walking towards the bed, kissing her temple before sitting down on the chair, interlacing their fingers.

"Wilson's already been over, so you better make sure what you brought tops his," she playfully challenged, a small smile on her lips. He gazed at her for a second before a small smirk tugged at his lips, glad she wasn't all-out ignoring him. _Maybe she really needed that breather to think_, he thought.

"Won't you service me?" she asked him, her voice soft and playful, and a pout on her lips.

Cuddy's face turned serious the moment he started talking, and she squeezed his hand, wordlessly telling him to go on and talk. He gazed at her for a while before saying, "I've been an idiot. I got this argument stuck in my head. If everybody lies, then trust is not only unfounded and pointless, it's fictional. But trust is not an argument that can be won or lost. Maybe I just have to suspend my cynicism and believe. Maybe it's time I took a leap of faith. I'm sorry. I won't lie to you again. And I won't do what I did yesterday, again."

She trusted the genuineness of what he said up until promising he wouldn't lie to her again. She knew he would, someday; she wasn't naïve, she knew how he could be. As much as she wanted to believe him, he would lie to her again. Promising he wouldn't do what he did yesterday again, she was still a bit doubtful about that, too. But maybe… maybe she should also take the same leap of faith he had just taken and put her faith in him. Maybe… maybe she'd eventually learn how to compartmentalize him lying to his boss for medical procedures and doing idiotic things that put his life in danger, consequences be damned…

She couldn't. It just wasn't her.

Cuddy was trying hard, fighting not to give in. She was certain he wouldn't lie to her, not when it truly mattered. But she found it endearing how he'd lowered himself to a typical man's level; apologizing and promising not to lie again— or do life-threatening decisions— just to placate her and make amends. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes and willing herself to just let it go. She shouldn't have been surprised that he'd done that. He'd probably do it again, if the time came—she just prayed he wouldn't anymore especially since Sofia would be around soon—or sooner than they thought, and she didn't want their daughter to lose her father.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she smiled wistfully, tilting her head to the side, her cheek slightly touching the pillow, her wild curls matting the pillow as well. House looked at her, his eyes masking the feeling of uselessness.

Her eyes were accepting, understanding, "I _know_ that one day… who knows when, you'll pull off something like this again. It's who you are and what you do, House. I understand that, but—"

"I won't, Cuddy, I—"

"I don't want you to change," she said, smiling fondly at the sudden confused face he made. "I just want you to open up to me more. I want you to be able to trust me completely. Just… please take things into consideration next time with regards to what happened yesterday," she whispered. Her eyes were serious and expectant.

"There won't be a next time. I promise," he sincerely vowed, sitting beside her on the bed, facing her.

"I hope so," Cuddy said, caressing his face.

"I'm sorry… about earlier, for making you leave," she said a second later. He shook his head, not letting her speak such nonsense; she deserved to be mad at him.

"_I'm_ sorry," he said, referring to rushing into that isolation room.

They remained quiet for a while before he gave her a small smile. She returned it, confirming that they had finally made up about the smallpox scare.

Feeling that his lying to her still needed to be addressed, she opened her mouth to let him know what she thought about it. "It's just…" she started, "you never apologized for anything when we weren't together and you did insane things. I just… I didn't want it to be like that now that we _are _together. I expected you to respect me as not only your girlfriend, but as your boss as well. Because, no matter how hard I think about it, I don't know if I could really compartmentalize your lies at work into 'just work'. It's a lie all the same," Cuddy explained, her orbs never disconnecting from his soul-searching gaze. "And it hurt me and made me angry," she finished, wishing he'd understand her reasoning this time.

House sighed. "And I'm sorry if it did," he sincerely said; that was the last thing he wanted to do—hurt her. He laid a hand on her knee, caressing it with his thumb. "Okay... I won't promise you anything but I _will _try my best to tell you the truth concerning patient care," he offered, feeling it was the only thing he could promise and not break when it came to the lying issue.

"But if you lie to me again?" she prompted.

"I'll tell you as soon as I've solved the case," he offered, receiving a frown in return.

Silence draped over them for quite some time, Cuddy contemplating and deciding between what she wanted and what she needed to do. Some moments later she sighed, acquiescing. It was better than not knowing at all. She would have to resign herself into understanding, as she always had before they got together, that he'd do anything for his patient; lie, cheat, manipulate, among other things. She had always looked up to him for his dedication to solving his puzzle and curing his patient.

She knew that at one point or another, he'd have to lie to her again. It was the nature of his job. If he went by the rules—as she tried to make him do so even before—he'd lose more patients not worth running the department for. They were doctors, they took risks.

She looked at him, through him, pouring the trust she had in him into her gaze.

She'd just have to settle for what he was offering her. It was a thoughtful offer nonetheless. She would just have to trust him to tell her about things when they truly mattered; tell her things he did behind her back in order to save his patient. It may have sounded insane, but there was truly no other option as she couldn't really make him vow not to lie to her.

She would just have to up the ante of her supervision of him and his team. She would also have to do better at keeping him aground when it came to risky procedures and such. It would be harder, but she had no choice; people would rather resign than supervise the man. Shocking.

Taking a deep breath, she looked at him again and sighed resignedly, wishing she knew what she was doing in telling him, "Okay."

"Thank you," he said, beyond relieved. He leant forward and kissed the corner of her mouth before hopping off of her bed. He retrieved the paper bag from where he settled it on the small couch in her room and walked back to the side of the bed.

"Breakfast?" he asked, raising the bag near the side of his face and shaking it with his lips pursed.

Cuddy smiled, nodding.

"Yes, please."

_**

* * *

9:00 PM**_

The day had gone by rather quickly for House and Cuddy. House, despite Cuddy's urging, kept his team from looking for cases by sticking them with clinic duty just so he could keep his focus on Cuddy a hundred percent.

He was now lying beside her on the hospital bed, occupying a great part of the bed with his form. Cuddy was jabbing at his side with her elbow, making him scoot if he didn't want her to fall.

"I'm sure your ass will cushion your fall," he retorted with a grin, stuffing his face with chips as he watched wrestling on the tube.

"I'll have cable disconnected from this room," she threatened, glaring at the side of his face.

"Okay, okay!" he surrendered, shifting to the free space on his right, making more room for the demanding pregnant woman beside him. He couldn't exactly say that there were other television sets in the hospital; he'd die before he even got to set foot outside her suite.

"I will never understand how you could stand those shows," Cuddy mumbled, reaching for his bag of chips. He gently smacked her hand, glaring at her. She pouted. "Ever heard of sharing?" she sarcastically asked, smirking.

He mimicked her before letting go of the bag and handing it over.

"Was that so hard?" she teased, grinning as she got a handful and proceeded to eat it.

Thirty minutes later, House finally turned off the television and craned his neck to look at Cuddy who was surprised at his sudden action.

"What?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow.

House's face turned serious. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but I really think we have to. I wish we didn't, but we have to," he murmured hesitantly, his hand unconsciously settling on top of her baby bump.

Cuddy visibly tensed at that. It took her a while before she expelled a deep breath, feeling a little boost of strength when he squeezed her free hand with his other one. "I don't know, House. I guess all we could do is hope that she'd come out ready and healthy. I don't want to think of anything else. But… if something does happen, I'm ready to give everything I have to give her a fighting chance at living."

Her eyes were misty as she tried her best not to dwell on 'what ifs'. She chuckled humorlessly, wiping at her eyes before meeting his gaze.

"Yeah," he agreed. The only thing he feared was that she'd make _him_ try and save their daughter if something did happen. He wouldn't be able to be objective, try as he might, if that were to happen. So he joined her in a wordless, silent prayer that their child would be healthy when born.

She gazed at those beautiful eyes, wishing that Sofia would have the same pair. She extracted her hand gently from his grip and cupped his jaw, running her thumb along his scruffy jaw and those kissable lips. She gave him a small smile before leaning in to kiss him. He accepted her lips and enveloped them with his own, tenderly showing her his love.

Seconds later they parted and Cuddy gazed at his lips before trailing her eyes up his regal face. She caught his eyes again and told him, "You are an _incredible_ man, Gregory House." She pecked his lips once before continuing. "And you're going to be an incredible father to our daughter," she tenderly said, smiling teary-eyed.

"You and your hormones," he fondly mumbled, smiling. He settled his lips upon her pouting ones again, kissing her passionately this time.

She captured his bottom lip, running her tongue along its expanse, baiting him. He followed her tongue with his, slipping it into her sweet mouth, tangling slowly with it. He groaned when she moaned into his mouth, enjoying the feel of their mouths pressed against each other's. She smiled and he grinned when the sound of her heart monitor started beeping in accordance to the beat of her heart.

"Wow, I walk in and you're giving her CPR. Let me tell you, that was quite a show though," Wilson teased, Chinese takeout bags in his hands. "I brought sustenance," he announced, lifting the bags a bit.

When they parted, Cuddy blushed and House glared at Wilson. The man just grinned in reply.

"Why are you here?"

"House!"

"What? He ruined our make out session and you're not mad?" he smirked down at her.

Cuddy and Wilson rolled their eyes at the man.

"Well, I would have been mad if it was our final kiss for a while, but it isn't," she smirked back. She glanced at Wilson and grinned. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," Wilson replied.

"Food _always _makes her nice these days," House commented, scoffing in mock incredulity.

Cuddy slapped him in the arm. "Go help him out," she said.

"Yes, Mistress," he replied in a deep throaty voice.

"She's bossy at work, she's bossier in bed; such a turn-on!" House announced, grinning Wilson's way. He didn't have to be House to know Cuddy was melting a hole through his cranium.

_**

* * *

July 27, 4 AM**_

"Where do you think you're going?" House asked Cuddy, leaning against the glass panel of the room. He just finished showering for the day and was surprised to walk back to Cuddy's room, and seeing her unhooking herself from the monitors.

"I need to get to the bathroom," she told him, her face a little flushed.

House frowned, his face falling. "Everything okay?" he suspiciously asked. "And you could have called a nurse," he added as an afterthought, walking towards her to support her with a hand on her lower back and one on her elbow.

"I think I'm leaking amniotic fluid," she told him uncomfortably.

"You sure?" he asked, brows meeting in thought.

"It's clear, and it gushed when I shifted this morning. I woke up to it," she told him, lips pursing.

House let go of her for a while then walked towards the bed which had a wet spot in it. She was right, the fluid was clear. He dipped a finger on the wet spot, Cuddy watching his every move, then licked his finger to taste it.

"House!" she scolded disgustedly, her face scrunching up.

"You're right, it is amniotic fluid," he told her, grinning at the disgusted look on her face.

"Couldn't you have just smelled it?" she inquired, her face still scrunched up as she made her way to the bathroom again.

"Where's the fun in that?" he inquired in an exaggerated, pitchy tone.

"It was disgusting," Cuddy commented, shaking her head. She reached for a clean pair of underwear and closed the door on him, making sure not to lock it.

"I used to lick your putty tat, and you're disgusted by my checking if you're leaking urine or amniotic fluid?" he smirked as he waited for her to finish.

They fell quiet for a while. "Cuddy… what if your labor is progressing?" he inquired softly, staring at the wall in front of him, lost in thought. He was not unaware that if she was leaking amniotic fluid, there was a possibility that Sofia would indeed be coming early.

"I hope it isn't," she told him as she exited the bathroom after a few minutes. "We could start worrying if my water breaks."

"Let's get you back to bed," he said. "It's too early for you to be up," he chastised playfully.

"Then what are _you _doing up?" she inquired.

House shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"Come on, help hook me up with these wires again and let's get some decent shuteye," she softly said, patting the bed with a grin.

House smirked. "I'll hook you up the minute the sheets are changed."

Cuddy chuckled.

"You big baby," she teased before calling the nurse's desk and asking for the sheets to be changed.

_**

* * *

5 PM**_

Cuddy had been in constant pain since after lunch. She was moved to a suite in Labor and Delivery upon finding out that her water had broken an hour before lunchtime and she had back and belly pains coming at long bursts and staying at shorter intervals ever since. Owen had already dropped by three hours ago and checked her again—the resident obstetrician of Plainsboro also checked her a few minutes after she announced that her water broke. Owen was stuck in House's office at the moment.

The lower back pain and the cramp-like sensations she was experiencing were something she hadn't been prepared for. She was desperately clutching at her pillow and biting down on it as the pain slowly escalated.

House had tried his best to make her feel comfortable but there was nothing he could do but tenderly run his pianist fingers along her back, wiping at the sweat on her forehead. He had already tied her unruly hair away from her face an hour ago when her pains started to develop.

Cuddy was lying on her side, curled up in a ball. She huffed, breathing in and out like a practiced yogi. She wanted to shout from time to time but she refrained from doing so. House held her hand in his, desisting the urge to tell her that her grip was killing his hand.

"Wuss," he teased, receiving a scathing and deadly, "Bastard!" in return.

A while later, his face turned serious as he took in, from face value, just exactly how much pain she was in. "You can do this, Cuddy," he told her, his voice trembling partly from the pain of her squeezing his hand and partly from his insides churning from nervousness.

Cuddy knew that delivery was inevitable. She was completely effaced, her dilation was at a 6.5 and her contractions were closing in on her. The baby was also slowly descending; the rectal and pelvic pressures were so uncomfortable. She knew that Sofia would be coming soon, despite her parents' wish that she'd stay put for a while more. She'd been given corticosteroids for the baby's lung development already. She wished that it was doing its job accordingly.

"It's too early," she told him, her voice shaky. It was too early and she genuinely feared that their daughter wouldn't be ready yet.

"I know," House answered. He was just as concerned as she was about the possible complications their unborn daughter would most likely face if she came out early. He and Cuddy had been so attached to their little bean already and the thought of her suffering due to prematurity was scaring him shitless. Their daughter suffering was the last thing they wanted to happen. And the thought of losing her was so unacceptable that he couldn't fathom thinking of it at all. He was afraid for Sofia and Cuddy. She wouldn't be able to handle it if something catastrophic happened to their little one.

Cuddy turned her head to look at him and see the reason why he suddenly became quiet. "Stop thinking, House," she suddenly cut him off of his thoughts, knowing that the gears of his mind were shifting and trying to think of all the possible scenarios. She knew, the moment his face dropped, forehead creased, and face turned serious. She knew that look. "Just… don't. Please," she told him quietly. She didn't want to think of 'what ifs', she didn't want to think of anything negative no matter how tempting it was.

She dreaded what could be.

He bent forward to press a kiss to her cheek, apologizing against her skin. "It'll be alright," he lied. He didn't know if it'd be alright. But for her own health, she needed to hear him assure her that things would be so. He bit his lip before exhaling. "The two of you are going to be alright," he repeated, genuinely taking another leap of faith; wanting, needing to believe that the two most important women in his life would come out of this alright.

"You suck at reassurances," Cuddy replied with an amused, fond smile. She carefully turned to face him, still on her side, and cupped his stubbly cheek, running her thumb across what it could reach. Her eyes held in them hope, giving him some as well. "But thank you," she sincerely whispered, "it means a lot to me."

House shrugged, a little guiltily, and wished that he could do better at the reassuring thing for her.

"I love you," she murmured sweetly, pulling him down by the nape so she could meet his lips. "And House," she waited for him to look her in the eyes before telling him, "I just… I want you to know that none of this was your fault." She gave him a small smile, patting his cheek.

"A part of it was," he guiltily mumbled. He really did regret entering the isolation room without so much as a consideration for the people who cared about him.

"I love you for being you, I—"

"That was cheesy."

"Shut up," she smiled for a while before she softened her gaze when he frowned. She took a deep breath as another contraction hit her.

When House noticed that she had relaxed a little again, he told her, "Don't go easy on me, Cuddy," he mumbled. He still couldn't believe that she was quick to forgive him. He didn't doubt her sincerity. He doubted his deservingness to be forgiven. "Don't make excuses for my ass-hood. I went there without even thinking of you and the kid. I was stupid and look at what it did to you." He knew they've been over this and that everything was forgiven, but he just couldn't seem to let go too soon.

Cuddy's lips firmed into a thin line, her brows furrowing. She licked her lower lip before correcting him. "That was a _small _part of what happened. If you had just apologized for lying and entering that isolation room, we wouldn't have gotten into that stupid argument and I wouldn't have fainted from the stress. It wasn't exactly your actions; it was about you and your twisted rationalizations. Don't you think I'm used to your insanity?" she smirked.

"I really am sorry, for everything," House said, still uncomfortable with being so openly vulnerable.

"I know, and I've forgiven you already," Cuddy sighed.

They remained silent for a while before Cuddy let out a quiet chuckle, remembering something.

"What?" he asked, lips pursed.

"Nothing, I just remembered the last time you apologized so much," she told him, running the back of her hand across his cheek. He frowned, but a few seconds later he let out a small smirk.

"You apologizing too much never fails to creep me out," she revealed jokingly. He chuckled, shaking his head.

"Contractions again," he mumbled as he got back to his work of vainly trying to sooth her pain with his hands as she curled up in a ball once again, gripping his hand and the pillow her head laid on. "Well, at least you won't need to worry about scars," he smirked.

Cuddy, not exactly in a joking mood, smacked his leg hard with a hand, making him yelp a bit. She scowled at him before glaring at him. "You're such a sweet boyfriend," she sarcastically said, her tone sickeningly sweet for his taste.

"I know. Part of my charms," he smugly volleyed, bobbing his eyebrows up and down.

_**

* * *

7:45 PM**_

More than two hours later, one could barely talk to Cuddy as she was in too much pain. Her contractions weren't that far apart anymore. She _barely_ got any break from the pain. The contractions never really eased off. They stayed strong and hard, and she was getting tired.

Owen had checked on her an hour ago and found out that she was at 8 centimeters already. The baby's station was at zero. Another two centimeters and Cuddy would be ready for delivery. Owen had the room prepped already, and they were just waiting for the time.

"You could do this," House told her, kissing her sweaty forehead. He later wiped the space with a damp towel.

"It hurts," she panted breathlessly. "So bad."

"We get to meet our spawn soon," he reminded her, bringing a smile on her face.

"Yeah…"

"Not too long a wait," he softly said. She nodded in agreement.

He couldn't believe that he was actually becoming a father in the _very _near future. He was scared shitless, but he was excited as well. Seeing Cuddy's face light up every single time Sofia was mentioned made him smile. She was happy. He'd made her happy. Sofia made her happy, and the kid wasn't even present yet!

The sense of pride and fulfillment filled him and he smiled, kissing her forehead again, making her look up at him for a while with eyes filled with pain yet distinguishable excitement.

"I love you," he told her, his face a painting filled with sentiment; just like hers was.

"I love you, too," she replied hoarsely, closing her eyes, reminding herself that all of this was meant for their Sofia. The baby inside her gave her strength. The man beside her gave her willpower and courage to push through this. The mother inside her made her fight.

"Hey, I brought the camcorder," Wilson suddenly popped inside the room, breaking their intimate moment. Both blue eyes turned to look at the obviously excited, and on edge, oncologist.

"House, please don't tell me you're having Wilson videotape?" she moaned, but it was more from the thought of the images Wilson would be seeing rather than the contraction attacking her body.

"Okay, Wilson won't be videotaping the birth of our child," House said, pursing his lips after he said it.

Cuddy sighed, puffing out a breath. "Fine, don't say I didn't warn you, Wilson," Cuddy told him.

"It's fine. I've been asked to record childbirth a few times in the past," Wilson disclosed, rather uncomfortably.

House looked from Wilson, then to Cuddy. "Estrogen," he smirked, looking at Cuddy who just rolled her eyes at him. "Get yourself checked, Wilson."

_**

* * *

July 27, 8:35 PM**_

When Cuddy was completely dilated around eight in the evening, she was prepped for delivery and Owen checked if the baby was at a positive station already. Sofia was at a positive 1 already and was more than ready to come out.

House stood by her side and bended towards her so he could support her body, providing a cushion for her back with his right arm while his left hand held her left one. She was panting raggedly for she had been pushing for more than twenty minutes already, in vain. Sofia's head was crowning though, and that gave Cuddy utter relief and joy as she was told to feel it for herself. Tears sprung to her eyes as she waited for Owen's signal to push again.

"She's almost here, Lisa," House told her, purposely using her first name. Cuddy looked at him, eyes wide upon hearing her first name pass through his lips. Her eyes watered even more as he smiled for her, just for her. She tried to regulate her breathing again, her grip on him tightening as she prepared for another push, just waiting, waiting, and waiting for that go-signal and contraction.

"Okay, Lisa, push again. Push harder this time," Owen instructed, helping dilate her a bit more to make way for Sofia.

Cuddy's cry rang throughout and ricocheted across the four corners of her room and she cried again, her voice almost gone from all the shouting, moaning and groaning as she pushed harder, not breathing for a moment, waiting for the push to ease. When she felt like she couldn't go through with the push she fell back onto the reclined part of the bed, panting as she looked to House, desperately wanting everything to be done with. The pain was unbearable, and she was surprised to realize that she'd done it without an epidural.

House gazed down at her, his respect and pride for her unimaginable. The woman could keep a handle on him and deliver his child. He kissed her forehead while she waited for the signal again. "You're doing great," he whispered. "She's almost here, just a little more pushing," he coached softly, almost cooing.

"Wait a while, Lisa, don't push just yet," Owen said, checking the pathway and how far Sofia's arms were from the exit.

"Okay, on the count of three, push again, hard," Owen instructed. House counted along, never failing to repeat the instructions in a firm yet soothing and supportive whisper against her ear.

"One… two… three!" House said, his grip on her fastening, standing as her anchor.

Cuddy pushed again, bearing down, her upper body bending forward as she moaned loudly, gritting her teeth. She felt the baby move out of her a bit more before Owen told her to push again. She did so and House held her through it.

She pushed a few more times until she plopped back down onto House's arms, burying her face in his chest as she heaved in a lungful of air. It was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life, and she didn't know how she was able to go this far without the incredible man beside her, holding her, whispering reassurances, soothing words, and instructions into her ear.

She tried to regulate her breathing, but she couldn't get any break from the pain, excitement, and other emotions surging through and from her. She felt House kiss her temple again, giving her yet another boost of energy that kept her going.

"Come on, Lisa, one last push and I promise she'll be out. On the next contraction, push hard," Owen said, her eyes moving from the baby, to Cuddy, the monitors, and back to the baby. She could tell that Lisa was nearly drained of strength, but she needed her cooperation in this. She was fairly certain that one last push will end the most difficult part of this process. She secured her hands in between her patient's thighs and waited for the anticipated finale.

House held her firmly as he whispered into her ear, "Come on, Lisa, one last push." He wiped her sweaty forehead with his palm before repeating the words into her ear. "One last push," he said reassuringly, stroking the small of her intolerably aching back.

Cuddy braced herself again before she pushed what she felt was the hardest push she ever did. She pushed with every ounce of strength she had left. She couldn't have cared less if her grip on House's hand was borderline bone-crushing; she could have cared less if a few of her employees saw her like this. She was determined to have this baby shoot out of her in this last push.

She desperately needed the breather but the moment she felt _him_ press a kiss to the crown of her head, her will to push through this won out. She took a quick breath and pushed again at the next strong contraction that hit her; that was the moment she felt Sofia slide right out of her and into her doctor's waiting hands. She collapsed against House's broad chest, her hair unruly, and her entire body sweaty from the exertion. Throughout the delivery, House's voice and presence was dominant amongst the others that talked to her and tended to her needs. He repeated everything Owen had told her, whispering the words right into her ear. He was all she heard.

Physically tired yet emotionally elated, she watched House, filled with what she could only describe as fatherly pride, clamp the umbilical cord that connected Sofia to her.

Her eyes trailed to their tiny yet very beautiful daughter, tears stinging her eyes as she took in how tiny she was, but grateful that she didn't seem too small compared to how small she should have been considering her early arrival.

She only got a swift glimpse of her before Owen brought her to the waiting nurses. After suctioning, they waited for her cry.

A few seconds turned into a minute, which turned into a few minutes.

"Why isn't she crying?" Cuddy nervously inquired from the bed, trying to sit up. House helped her do so, moving his eyes from their daughter to the worrying mother in his arms, and back to their daughter. Wilson moved closer to Owen so that he could check for the couple if everything was alright.

"Cry, Sofia!" Cuddy sobbed, her trembling form clinging onto House who was internally praying for the same thing Cuddy wanted to happen.

"Cry, Sofia, cry for Mommy," Cuddy cried, swimming in a pool of hormones and mixed emotions. House held her firmly, eyes on their daughter, thinking and observing. She was so little; so little yet so brave.

A quiet moment later, as silence filled the room, Cuddy and House along with everyone else, heard the gurgling, weak cry of the baby. It couldn't exactly be called a cry, but Cuddy nonetheless released the breath she didn't know she was holding upon hearing her and House's daughter for the first time. Her next breath morphed into an unadulterated sob of happiness and fulfillment.

It was the most wonderful sound she had ever heard.

Tears fell from Cuddy's eyes, cascading down her cheeks. She couldn't help but bury her face into House's chest in utter relief and happiness. She smiled and let out another soft sob when she felt him kiss her temple, telling her she did great, and how incredible she was to him.

The man beside her and the baby girl a few feet away from them made her heart flutter with so much love and unspeakable joy that it threatened to overflow or explode from such feelings of elation. She had never been as happy as she was at that exact moment.

One cry, one beautiful cry, lifted her heart to such unimaginable bliss.


	42. Momma's Girl

**_A/N: _**Oh my God, it's been how long? Sorry for the uber long wait! Hopefully [I won't make promises] from hereon, it'll take 3-4 days for a new update! :) This is just a filler chapter, so it's short. Next chapter will be longer for sure!

Thank you **_SO _**much,** Rebecca Law** (BecDL_Star on Twitter), for the help with the medical stuff! :) Hope you feel better soon! :)

_**Hope you guys like it!**_

* * *

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 41: MOMMA'S GIRL**_

_**.**_

"Congratulations, Dr. House," the NICU intern greeted with a small smile as she stepped away from the neonatal incubator that would protect the diagnostician's preemie daughter for the next few weeks.

House stared at the lively brunette for a while before nodding in acknowledgement.

"She has Dr. Cuddy's eyes," the intern added with a barely suppressed giggle. House glared at her for it, so she bit her lip and walked away with a smile, glad to have something to tease the cranky doctor with.

House huffed out a breath of annoyance, rolling his eyes, before stepping closer to the incubator. He stared at his own daughter for a while, taking in the reality that he _actually _had one, with Cuddy no less.

The right corner of his mouth tugged up a bit.

He looked at his daughter through the clear glass, something wrapping around his heart, clawing at the restraints once around it.

He smiled.

All he could think of as he rested his eyes on a pair resembling Cuddy's own was that she resembled her mother. He also liked the fact that her color was better now than earlier.

He didn't notice that his hand had unconsciously drifted into the incubator and reached in to allow Sofia to wrap her small fingers around his large index finger until he felt it. He looked at her tiny hand enveloping his finger and was reminded of a time when another life held it with its own, reminding him of the miracles and mysteries of life and childbirth.

Overcome with emotions, House swallowed a lump that had seemingly formed in his throat. What if he screwed this up? What if he let his daughter down; what if he let Cuddy down?

House inhaled deeply and then released the breath a few seconds later.

He won't.

"Hey," he greeted his daughter for the first time in person. He received a tightening of her fingers on his and kicking legs in reply.

He smirked in amusement.

* * *

"How is she?" Cuddy asked House as he entered her private room and sat beside her on the bed. He took her hand, intertwining their fingers before looking at her with a smile she's never seen before plastered on his lips. It wasn't an obscenely ecstatic smile, no, his eyes conveyed his happiness; his lips conveyed his content. His lips were upturned, one side almost lopsided as he grinned; face proud and content. House gazed at her before letting out a sound which resembled a snort, telling her that Sofia was "Wrinkly," earning a smack from Cuddy in return.

"She's _beautiful_," Cuddy corrected with maternal pride, remembering the first time she held her daughter. She'd never seen such a tiny, beautiful life before her eyes. She was already enraptured and captivated by her and House's daughter that she'd actually prayed to whatever god was out there that she would be spared from complications. She had kissed Sofia before she was taken to the NICU. She'd be standing by her side now if she wasn't so exhausted. House informed her of their daughter's current state, not even daring to leave behind a single piece of information.

"How are you feeling?" he asked afterwards, stroking the side of her thumb with his own.

Cuddy let out a tired but radiant smile. "Exhausted," she said, snuggling towards his side when he situated himself closer to her. "Like a watermelon popped out of me. But it was all worth it…" she smiled against his shirt before looking up at him and beaming dreamily, "I can't believe she's here."

"She's a lot smaller than a watermelon," House couldn't help but jostle, smirking. They remained quiet for a while, wrapped in a blanket of companionable silence. "Still feels surreal," he mumbled after a few minutes, chuckling afterwards and shaking his head. Cuddy smiled, caressing his bicep with her free hand. "It's kind of hard to wrap my head around," he said, looking from their intertwined fingers to her eyes.

She carefully shifted on the bed, bringing herself up a little to be in eye-level with him. She brought a hand up to the center of his chest, looking from where her hand was and trailed it back to meet his cerulean gaze. "I find it hard to believe, too," she said, brows furrowing for a while before grinning playfully and resting her lips lightly against his pouting pucker.

She pulled away and pouted when he remained staring at her. "What? You can't blame me," she chuckled, running the back of her hand along his jaw. He stared at her for a while, mesmerized by her smile and incandescent happiness before breaking out into a grin himself.

"You can't blame me if I screw up though," he almost timidly warned her.

Cuddy clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes at his warning. She once again settled her hand to the center of his chest then told him, "We are _both _going to screw up from time to time," she told him, melting at his suddenly vulnerable gaze directed at her, "But it doesn't mean that you won't make an amazing father to Sofia, because I think you'll be just that: amazing. You are an incredible man, House," she said with utmost sincerity, "You should see that for yourself sometimes."

"You'll be a great mother, Cuddy," House said after a while of taking in what she'd said. He kissed her tenderly, his eyes mapping her face.

"Thank you," Cuddy smiled sweetly in between kisses.

A moment later he pulled away and got off of the bed. "Now, rest," he said, pulling the sheet up for her and kissing her on the forehead. "I'll look after our spawn," he informed her.

"Our _spawn_ has a name, you know," she muttered, glaring at him with a pout.

"I know," he answered, "She's my daughter. I just like riling you up," he smirked, "Makes you look sexy with or without makeup."

Cuddy rolled her eyes at his immaturity. She would have continued glaring had it not been for him possessively calling Sofia _his _daughter. It made her heart flutter.

"Go easy on my NICU staff!" she called out as he walked to the door.

"Not if they don't do their job!"

Cuddy chuckled to herself as she watched his retreating form. She knew by 'job', he meant tending to Sofia.

* * *

"Okay, what's wrong?" Wilson asked House after noticing that his friend was staring at his daughter with a deeply pensive face. House quickly let his face turn blank.

"Nothing's wrong," House then said, looking at Wilson.

"You're worried."

"I'm not worried," House negated. Turning his gaze from Wilson to set his eyes upon his preemie daughter again, he added, "She's going to be fine."

"You _hope _she'll be fine," Wilson countered, his face serious, "You've been here on guard, for hours. You've been alternating from here to Cuddy's room, but spending more time here."

House sighed. "If something happens to her…" he trailed off, his eyes narrowing as he kept his eyes on Sofia. There was no reason to hide from the truth. Wilson would just continue pestering him.

"She's doing fine, House," Wilson comforted, patting his friend on the back.

"So far," House mumbled under his breath. "It's still too early. She could develop any of numerous symptoms from of different diseases, or infantile respiratory distress syndrome in a few hours, or—"

"She's fine _now_, House. Savor the moment," Wilson said with a soft smirk. "Besides, you owe me a cigar, or something."

"I'll buy you one when we get to take her home."

"How does it feel?" Wilson asked after a moment of silence.

House's eyes remained on Sofia for a while before he tilted his head to look at Wilson.

"Honestly? Scary."

All Wilson could do was let out a laugh.

"She looks like Cuddy," Wilson acknowledged, patting his best friend on the shoulder and congratulating the man again as he reached his side.

"She doesn't look like anyone yet," House negated with a smirk, rolling his eyes for an added measure. Internally though, yes, Sofia's taking after Cuddy in terms of physical appearances—he couldn't help but notice that over and over again. He wouldn't admit that to Wilson though. He had a rep to keep up.

"Still can't believe you procreated, huh?" Wilson chuckled after a few minutes of watching House looking at the life he had created with Cuddy. House nodded, gaze never waning from his daughter. "I always thought that I'd have more of a chance in procreating than you. What with three failed marriages and more girlfriends. You stud," he joked, jabbing House in the ribs playfully.

"I'll let you off for that 'stud' comment," House smirked, swinging his head briefly to look at Wilson before swinging his head back to continue observing Sofia.

"One thing's for sure though," Wilson said, eyes fixated on the baby swathed in pink cotton. "She's definitely got Cuddy's eyes," he stated, the left corner of his mouth tugging up as the said baby started shifting. House looked to where Wilson's eyes were settled and a barely there smile made its way to his face.

"I bet Cuddy will be the slightest bit disappointed," he chuckled, offering his hand to the baby whose tiny hands were opening and closing.

"Because she wanted Sofia to have your 'gorgeous' blue eyes…?" Wilson mocked in a playful tone. House's only reply was his trademark smirk.

"Maybe your second kid would inherit your eyes," Wilson quipped, earning a glare from his best friend. He shrugged, eyes sparkling with mischief.

House's head shot to the side, glaring at Wilson who raised both his hands in defense. "Just saying," the grumpy doctor's best friend said, grinning as he enjoyed House's terror at the thought of another kid.

"House, Cuddy's asking for you," Foreman suddenly called to him before exiting the room again after sneaking a glance at his boss' daughter.

House gave Wilson a nod and took one last look at Sofia before exiting the room.

* * *

Two hours later, Chase walked into the NICU room, seeing Wilson just looking at Sofia.

"Where's House?" the younger doctor asked curiously.

"Helping Cuddy with something, I don't know. He won't say," Wilson shrugged.

Chase had an idea as to what House was "helping" Cuddy with, though he didn't even think of telling Wilson.

They watched the sleeping little girl in the incubator with curious eyes for a while before Chase broke the silence.

"You think he'd do a good job?" Chase asked Wilson, looking from Sofia to Wilson and back again.

"At being a dad?" Wilson asked, pondering his answer. A second later he nodded, "He will. It's going to take some work and some getting used to the fact that he has a daughter and that he'd have to take better care of _himself_, but I think he'd do good, if not great."

Chase nodded before noticing something. His brows furrowed and he moved closer to the clear plastic Sofia was in and make sure he wasn't just seeing things.

Wilson's face dropped and he turned serious as he turned to look at Sofia. His brows drew together.

"She's…"

Wilson trailed off, noticing the baby grunting quietly and having difficulty breathing as he observed by her nostrils flaring. One or two seconds later the monitor connected to the baby were set off, signaling Sofia's Oxygen stats were dropping.

"Could be RDS," Chase said, looking at Wilson, before assisting the neonatologist and nurse who immediately responded to the alarms.


	43. Sofia

**_FIRST AND FOREMOST,_**

**_I'd like to acknowledge the amazing women who have helped me with this chapter... Without them, I prolly would've produced a poorly written chapter or worse, thrown in the towel._**

_To my awesomesauce and sexy beta, **Penelope S Cartwright**, thank you for the beta and whiteboard services you've provided! :) I owe you lotsa pennies for your thoughts ;) Lol. Anyway, thanks a bundle for all the advice, help and support! Love ya, love!_

_**Oc7ober, aka Sophie,** you bitch. :)) You have no idea how guilty you have made me over this chapter! :)) Fun though, that after everything, I was able to stand my ground and not change MONTHS of planned stuff. ;) Your asdfghjS are awesome albeit undecipherable. xD Thanks for giving me opinions on this. Feel free to call me a bitch as you please, you slut. ;) LOL. Love you too! xD_

_**Aleramp88, aka Ale/AleTheHouseWife**, DUDE, I cannot even begin to comprehend HOW IN GOD'S NAME do you write the medical stuff as if it were some easy recipe! You're AWESOME! :) Thank you so much for the help with the medicine (sadly, there's not much because of me) in this and allowing me to snatch your writing style for a chapter! :) *hugs*_

_**BecDL_Star** LOL, thanks for not calling me a bitch despite my stubbornness to go through with what I've planned. ;) Thanks for the baby help, too! :)_

_To **W8ing4Huddy**, whose help I've acquired MONTHS back, thanks a bunch for opening my eyes to other possibilities and giving me another Huddy's POV of what I've decided to pursue. :) If you're still out there, reading, I truly hope you pick up where you left off with ATEOHR... You're fan-freaking-tastic! :)_

* * *

**_DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Shore & Co.'s._**

**_A/N: I'm so sorry it took 3 months for me to update! _**_Aside from things at Uni killing me, I've experienced the world's nastiest writer's block with this baby!_

_We are **NOWHERE** near finished with this story, so I hope you guys are still there! :)_

_**NOTE**: Everything in this chapter had been planned months (a year even, maybe) ago! And I've got advanced chapters/scenes already written for what's to come. **ALSO,** I hope you guys remembered that on CHAPTER 36, I've said it'll be fast paced from that chap onwards. **After this chapter, that pace will slow down.** :)_

_If you guys find faults in the medical stuff I've added in there, the faults are mine._

_**Hope you guys stick around after this! :) I have SO much planned!**_

* * *

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 42: SOFIA**_

_**.**_

_**July 27, 11:45 PM**_

"Hey, a kangaroo told me you rang?" House spoke as soon as he stepped foot into the hospital suite, sliding the door closed behind him.

"Yeah, I just wanted to know how she was doing," Cuddy smiled, "besides, I was starting to get jealous. You seem to be spending more time with her than me," she joked, a mock pout on her face.

"Taking care of Sofia equals happy Mommy, happy Mommy equals well-laid Daddy," House replied with a sly grin on his face as his hands gestured every analogy. "Simple mathematics," he shrugged, walking to stand next to her on the bed. He bent down to press a soft kiss on her smirking lips.

"Well, Daddy won't be happy for quite some time," she mumbled on a breath before looking up at him, her smile faltering a bit. "It's going to be quite a number of weeks ahead of us," she said, recalling Sofia's tender gestational age. She just hoped as hell the corticosteroids did their job with no, or, at least, not many adverse effects.

House took her hand, interlacing their fingers as he pressed a reassuring kiss on her temple. He wasn't comfortable being the reassuring one, but he'd learned how to comfort her. He wanted to be there for her and their child.

"Sofia's going to be okay, _we _are going to be okay," he reassured her, tenderly running his thumb along the side of her own.

"I want to see her," Cuddy said, looking into his eyes. He couldn't help but notice the glow her skin had seemingly adapted. She was incandescently happy.

"You good to go?" he asked. "Want me to get a chair?" He smirked.

"If it makes you happier," she replied without missing a beat.

"Well, choosing between pushing your gargantuan ass and letting you walk isn't really hard," he noted, pretending to weigh the pros and cons.

"I'll walk. It'd be better anyway," she said, sitting up from the bed. House helped her step down and she put on the slippers he'd brought for her.

"Thanks."

They were about to step out into the hallway when they saw Chase heading in their direction.

"What's wrong?" Cuddy was quick to inquire, her tone turning serious and concerned. House currently had no patients and Chase was the one who had told House she was asking for him, so she deduced that what Chase was there for concerned Sofia.

Chase looked from Cuddy to House. House nodded, not wanting to spare the details from Cuddy.

"We think she developed RDS. The neonatologist is on it," Chase told them, feeling sorry for having to break the news when he saw Cuddy's face fall. Their course of corticosteroids probably lessened it, but it did not definitely eliminate the risk of Sofia developing complications.

House gave a curt nod to Chase before leading Cuddy towards the NICU, resolute on diagnosing their daughter.

* * *

_**July 29, 2011**_

Cuddy walked towards the isolette, her heart aching at the sight of the machinery surrounding it. She reminded herself again that the machinery kept her daughter warm and protected. She felt House's arms come up around her waist, unaware that he had followed her to the NICU, engulfing her with his warmth.

"Hi honey," she whispered as soon as she reached Sofia's side, her heart blooming with so much love as she laid eyes on her daughter. On her _and _House's daughter. She reached a hand inside and settled her fingers upon her daughter's belly. She felt tears stinging her eyes upon contact with the smooth skin. "Mommy's here," she whispered lovingly, her voice breaking from the happiness taking hold of her.

They were thankful that there had been no other incidents so far. They hoped no more would come.

"Mommy's here," she repeated, smiling brightly the moment Sofia turned her head towards her and opened her eyes which were a replica of her own. She smiled radiantly, offering her fingers for Sofia to take. Sofia tried her best to hold onto her index finger, but failed. Cuddy couldn't wait until her grip developed. Her eyes brightened up and she gently caressed Sofia's tiny hand with her thumb.

Cuddy looked back at House who had un-wrapped his arms from around her and settled his hands on her hips. She looked at him with so much love radiating from her that he couldn't help but question what he'd done to deserve such happiness in his life.

"She's so beautiful," Cuddy said in awe, looking from House back to Sofia who had started gurgling softly.

Cuddy checked her diaper with her other hand, noticing that Sofia was, in fact, ready for a changing. It would be her first time doing it for her daughter and she couldn't help but keep the smile on her face.

"You're so tiny," she whispered as she carefully pulled down the front panel of the isolette to gain full access to Sofia. She leant forward and placed a tender and loving kiss on her forehead, vowing to do right by her daughter every step of the way; vowing to protect her.

"Mommy's here," she repeated as she pulled away, looking down into Sofia's beautiful eyes. Her baby let out the softest coo, and her smile widened.

"Let's get you changed," she finally said after a while of letting Sofia feel her index finger. The baby kicked her feet, as-if annoyed at being deprived contact with her mother's smooth skin. She couldn't help but blame that littlest of tantrums on House's genes. She would have laughed, but House would wonder what she was thinking. They'd have more time to blame this or that on one another when they finally got to bring their daughter home.

"Oh, look at the time," House suddenly announced, pecking Cuddy on the lips and reaching out to run his fingers along Sofia's belly again before turning on his heel. He was about to make his way out when Cuddy called him back.

"You stay right here, House," she ordered, smirking with a hand on her right hip.

"But Mooom!" he whined, stamping a foot before turning to face her again.

Cuddy couldn't help but chuckle. "Get your ass back here," she insisted, turning her back to him.

"Language!" House mock chastised as the smirk on his face widened all the more as he reached Cuddy's side again.

"I will not be put on diaper duty," House argued in feigned disgust, tilting his head down to look at Cuddy.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?" Cuddy tilted her head up, challenging him teasingly.

House loved the happiness practically oozing out of every pore she had. He leaned down and pecked her on the lips once more, surprising both him and Cuddy.

Not that she was complaining, Cuddy asked, "What was that for? Two times in a row? Anything you want to tell me?"

House shrugged before looking away, slightly sheepish at his sudden display of tenderness and affection. "Just get her changed," he mumbled, looking at Sofia.

Cuddy smiled, choosing not to badger him with questions. "Help me, will you?" she whispered, handing him the wet wipes.

Cuddy carefully unfastened the diaper straps, and laughed at the face House made. "I don't know how you could laugh at poop," he told her, scrunching up his face.

"I'm laughing at _you. _And it's not even poop, House," she smirked at his antics, knowing he was only messing with her. "It's practically liquid and scentless," she added.

"You don't say that about mine," he smirked. Cuddy rolled her eyes, choosing to continue cleaning up their baby's bottom.

Cuddy's eyes snapped to look at House when she heard a click.

"For posterity," he said, tucking his cell phone into his pocket as quick as he pulled it out to snap a picture.

"Yes, you just _had_ to take a picture of me changing our daughter's diaper," she replied with a smirk.

"What?" he feigned shock, "I thought you'd want to compile pictures of her first times?" A hand made its way up to his heart, pretending to be hurt. Cuddy rolled her eyes at this, internally reeling though.

"Ha-ha," Cuddy replied before finally setting Sofia's bottom down on the new diaper while House pretended to disgustedly roll up the used one.

"You there!" House called out to one nurse, "Dispose of this evil diaper, will you?" he ordered, garnering a glare from Cuddy who was holding a bundled Sofia in her arms.

The nurse rolled her eyes at the doctor but took the diaper anyway and properly disposed of it.

"Did you have to do that? It was just a diaper, it wouldn't have eaten you alive," Cuddy smirked, moving to sit on the single-seat couch next to the isolette.

"Got to maintain my bad boy rep," he smirked. He moved to kneel in front of the two ladies in his life, causing Cuddy to arch a brow.

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking at his expectant blue eyes.

"I thought you were going to breastfeed. As your Baby Daddy, I've got dibs on a front row seat," he replied, that smug smirk still pasted on his face.

"I just want to hold her," Cuddy said with a soft smile. They both knew that Sofia's suck was still poor so she still had to be fed intratracheally, for now.

"Then hold her," House told her, voice soft, resting a hand on her knee. Cuddy propped the baby against her chest, Sofia's head resting there. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the joy filling her heart upon finally having a reason to do what she does every day; someone to live for and to call her own. Someone she could love unconditionally and who would love her back. She was in raptures at receiving Sofia—the most precious thing she could ever ask for. As well as joy in finally being with the man she's loved for decades.

But, just as she was starting to fantastically drown in the euphoria having staked its claim on her, her thoughts filled with what the future could bring. What if this joy didn't last? Could it last? Did they have the power to make it last?

She was suddenly overwhelmed by the things that could happen that she suddenly forgot about her happiness. Fear had gripped her out of nowhere.

House noticed this as he looked at her.

"House…" she suddenly breathed, a tear rolling down her cheek.

House's brows drew together and he stood to his feet, wiping away the tear, and another as it rolled down her face again. His eyes asked the question, his hand offering her reassurance that he was there. That they were in it together and that Cuddy wasn't alone anymore. She had him. He hoped that was good enough.

"What if…" She swallowed a lump that had seemingly formed in her throat. Before she could get her words out, House pressed two fingers to her lips.

"She'll be fine. We'll take it one day at a time," he tenderly told her, stroking her cheek. "Okay?"

Cuddy couldn't express how thankful and happy she was that House was the father of her child. She nodded, smiling for him. She looked down at Sofia once more who was now staring up at her with eyes a replica of her own.

"Have you held her?" Cuddy inquired softly, playing with Sofia's fingers with a smile, looking from their fingers to House's eyes that had grown wide.

"I guess that's a 'no'," Cuddy mumbled, gently repositioning Sofia in her arms.

House shook his head adamantly knowing what she was going to make him do next.

"She's just a baby, she won't bite," Cuddy smirked playfully, finding it endearing how afraid he was to hold their fragile daughter.

"I don't—"

"She won't break," Cuddy smiled sweetly at him.

House met her eyes and sighed before carefully taking Sofia from Cuddy as carefully as he could.

"Mind her head," Cuddy whispered, looking into House's eyes as he did a much closer inspection of their daughter. Again, he counted ten fingers. He couldn't help but let out the smallest of smiles. Pride. That was what it was. He was proud.

House didn't deny that he was frightened of holding her. She was so small and he was so much bigger. But Cuddy was right she wouldn't break. Besides, if he kept avoiding contact, he'd have denied their daughter the chance to bond with him. And that was the last thing he wanted.

Cuddy adored the look on House's face; she loved it so much. The sight made her melt.

House was proud of their daughter already, she could tell. A side of his lips was almost arching up as he hosted a staring match with their daughter.

They knew then and there that they'd fight for this little life with everything they had. _Everything._

She was the best thing that has ever happened to them.

The best.

* * *

_**August 28, 2011**_

It was shining… the sun. The clouds were adorning the skies above them. It was a great day—for others.

For Gregory House and Lisa Cuddy, it was not.

Today was one of those days where there was no point in having hope and faith anymore; theirs had dissipated into time and space, rendering them… lost.

The sun shined down on them, its rays harsh against their skins. The sky above was a light shade of blue, seemingly contemptuous as they mourned the loss of their child. They had hoped for a storm to match their emotions, rain to wash away their tears, but the storm they longed for came in the form of death; a storm seemingly too powerful to overcome.

Sofia House was laid to rest beside her grandfather's grave—their baby who only saw and took in what she could of the world in twenty-eight days. Their baby, whose eyes had gleamed like her mother's, had finally given into the illness that had befallen her.

Her presence had enraptured her parents more than anything ever had—more than _anything _could have. For seven months and some days, their hearts beat with more life than they ever had, waiting for her to come into the world.

When she came, nothing else mattered. Only her. Their precious angel.

But illness had taken her away from the world, away from them, her parents.

Her death killed them just as much as what took her away did. It wasn't her fault, but the absence of her life in theirs overpowered their will to continue without her. They were at an impasse with Life, torn between moving on and mourning the rest of their days in sorrow. The latter was an option, but they _knew_ that, at some point, they would have to face the former. At some indeterminate point in time, they knew they'd find themselves again, hopefully together, and move forward with only the memory of her.

Lisa Cuddy grieved like she never had before, her arms clinging onto the father of her deceased child as if he was the only thing keeping her upright and on her feet. In fact, he really was the only thing keeping her from falling to the ground. House held her, head cast down as his eyes repeatedly scanned the name engraved on the marble stone. His daughter didn't deserve her early departure. He would have given his own life, had it been possible, to give her a chance to live her own.

Pouring her heart and soul out into the silence of the cemetery, Cuddy wept, as she had never done before, drenching herself and the man she loved in a sea of saline tears. Every tear shed slowly took her life along with it. Every anguished cry and sob reminded not only her, but also her lover of what they had just lost and how much they had failed the little life now lying lifeless, buried underneath the earth's soil. They had failed their daughter as parents and doctors. Nothing hurt and killed them more than not being able to do anything for her. Nothing hurt more than knowing they couldn't have done anything at all to save her. Every second, every minute, every hour of the days that passed by was heartbreaking agony for Cuddy and, silently, for House as well.

Cuddy felt like she had died with her daughter. Her heart felt like it was repeatedly being ripped out of her and burned right before her eyes as she slowly wasted away. It was an agonizing pain that would leave its wound always raw until the day she'd leave the world.

_Sofia House  
July 27, 2011- August 24, 2011  
Mommy and Daddy's angel_

Reading what was carved in script killed them over and over again. It felt as if the painfully torturous reality was being carved into their souls… stroke per stroke.

* * *

_**August 25, 2011**_

The corridors were eerie throughout the entire hospital, mourning the daughter of the Dean of Medicine and Head of Diagnostic's daughter who had passed away the day before.

The death of an innocent child…

No word, no emotion would ever be able to describe such a tragedy.

True, not everybody liked House, but he was a respected doctor. Everyone felt bad for Doctor Cuddy. They had milled around the nurses' stations, hoping that the couple would be able to pull themselves through it. Some offered prayers, spending a few minutes during break times, praying for the family.

Robert Chase had been one of them.

He'd witnessed Cuddy falling apart in front of him, seen House cradle both mother and lifeless daughter in his embrace, hoping as one never hoped before that he could carry what was to come.

Never had he seen House cry.

He had walked away, shutting the blinds for the family. They deserved happiness, but it seemed elusive in a permanent sense.

He was haunted by Sofia's eyes, having seen them so many times in the past few weeks. He had faith that she was with the Lord now, a real angel. He'd silently asked her to watch over her parents whose hearts and souls were bleeding from the loss of her.

He had prayed in the chapel, Bible in his hands.

It had been a long time since he last prayed.

He made his way to the morgue, having caught wind that House was lingering about there. No one ever questioned why House usually went there, so this time was just like any other.

Just House being House.

But the moment he'd heard about it, he felt dread. He _knew_ that this instance was different. He had to look out for the man. Changed as he may have been, Chase believed he was still the man he used to be; in the deepest, darkest recess of his being, he could regress to the House he once had been—self-destructive, emotionally stunted.

He tentatively entered the unusually cold room storing bodies of the deceased, taken by illness and unfortunate accidents.

He never thought he'd be so taken aback by seeing his boss, his mentor, so torn apart.

He diverted his eyes, lowering his head to the cold floor.

House sat at the farthest corner of the room, head cupped by his palms.

Chase eyed the room.

He realized then that House couldn't bring himself to see his daughter void of life. That he'd _never _see his daughter with life. Blue eyes like Cuddy's flashed through his mind again and he swallowed a lump in his throat.

However, the instruments meticulously laid down on one of the steel tables caught his attention. His realization, he thought, was partly right. But it was not the reason House was here.

Shock pervaded his entire being at his next deduction.

He wouldn't…

But this was House he was thinking about.

Would he really?

No…

"House…"

"Leave."

"You can't."

"Go!" He didn't shout. His voice was as cold as the bodies lying in different drawers in the morgue. Cold, but emotion seeped out of that one word alone.

"No."

"Don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to _Cuddy_!"

House stood then, grabbing him by the lapels of his lab coat, shoving him against the wall.

He didn't say anything, just stared him down, his eyes a cacophony of destructive and undecipherable emotions. House had broken down. He was lost.

Chase found it his responsibility to set him straight, never mind that the man could very well throw a punch at him, or do something worse.

"You're not doing this to have closure."

"What do you know about my motives? What do you know about—"

"You're self-destructing! Like always! It's too much, I know, but don't—"

"You don't have any idea how I feel!"

"Then why this reaction? House, don't be stup—"

He wasn't able to finish his sentence as he felt House's fist meet his jaw and he stumbled backwards, gripping his offended limb. He didn't bother wiping at it as he continued determinedly, "You want something you could blame yourself for."

"Leave now, Chase, or I swear to God, I'll—"

"Punch me again? You've done it many times before. Kill me? You're a lot of things, House, but you're not a murderer. And you're better than this. Don't do it."

House exhaled through his nose, turning his back against the younger doctor.

"I'm not looking for something to blame myself for."

"Of course not." Sarcasm.

"I'm not." He didn't know anymore.

"You are. I'm not an idiot, House… Don't do this…

You _know_ there's _nothing_ neither you nor Cuddy could have done. Nothing could have saved Sofia. Not even that VP shunt."

"I said _leave!_" House suddenly roared, his voice that of a wounded lion whose pride was still intact, but falling apart before his prey's eyes.

"No. You're going to listen to me," Chase's eyes determinedly stared House's down. His posture straightened and he steeled himself. He had to do this. He wasn't Foreman—he wouldn't back down. He was going to save this man from making the biggest mistake of his life.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Nobody deserves this. You and Cuddy most definitely didn't deserve this. Sofia died not because you didn't find what was wrong with her. We already knew what took her, House. You don't get to make yourself suffer by looking for something to blame yourself for. You'll be stuck in the past. You'll never be rid of the 'what ifs'. You'll be miserable. You'll make _Cuddy _miserable."

"It's not—" House mumbled, lowering his head as a stubborn tear escaped his eye.

"It is, House. You may or may not be consciously sabotaging what's left of your relationship with Cuddy. Don't do it."

"It's not what I'm doing."

"It is. Don't go there, House. Cuddy will never forgive you."

House knew then that he was right so he nodded, acknowledging what Chase had said.

"You'll never be able to forgive yourself."

Consciously, Chase moved to where House had slid down to the foot of the table. He touched House's shoulder, squeezing him there once, including a silent prayer for this strong man who had almost lost himself to the darkness of his past self again.

"I'm sorry," Chase whispered. House only nodded.

"Go to Cuddy. She needs you, now more than ever. You need _each other._"

House met Chase's eyes. A wordless thank you was expressed through that alone.

"Go," Chase quietly told him, gesturing toward the door. "She's in your office. She passed out from exhaustion earlier."

House nodded again before he stood and exited the morgue, never once looking back at the forlorn yet peaceful room and the instruments he had laid out.

He wasn't going to lower himself to that.

He wouldn't do that to himself and especially not to Cuddy.

He wouldn't go back to what he used to be.

He had changed. People _did _change.

Somewhere, he knew then that his daughter would have been proud of him for choosing the right decision and her mother over destroying himself again over the power of misery and darkness.

He wouldn't leave Cuddy; he wouldn't forsake her, especially not now.

He would be there for her for as long as she needed and wanted him to be.

* * *

_**August 28, 2011**_

They were at a loss for words. Cuddy's voice was almost gone from all her crying and voicing a mother's loss and anguish. House wanted so much to carry her pain for her and save her this anguish, but all he could do was hold her through all of it— useless in his point of view. He had to be her pillar, her only source of strength. Somehow, he was still thankful he could do her this small comfort. Letting her know she was not alone in this mourning, and that he was with her living this nightmare.

He had cried in solitude for their daughter's death, his lover's pain and suffering, and for his inadequacy at healing his ill daughter whilst he could heal others; he had failed his daughter and the mother of his child. He had hid his suffering from her. She didn't need to see him break down. He had to be strong for her. For _them_.

He was her pillar, standing strong and sturdy for her despite the Spanish Armada waging a futile war with the sea of raging emotions inside of him.

He had been right before. She deserved more. So much more. But he couldn't—_wouldn't_ leave her like this, not now. She could very well be on her way to a downward spiral towards depression. He wouldn't risk losing her like they lost Sofia. He just couldn't. He had already failed his daughter. He wouldn't fail Cuddy again. He just _couldn't_.

But... if it would be for her benefit, he would leave. He loved her enough to do that again. His absence would once again loom. He was sure it would sometime, once she pulled through this tragedy. He just didn't know if they could still make things work after this. He was more than willing to try, but he didn't know what or how she felt. He didn't know if she could handle being with him after what had happened. He didn't know if she'd still want to be with him. He knew she was a strong woman, but he didn't know if she was strong enough to handle this.

He held her against his chest, not giving a damn if his shirt was drenched or if she was clinging onto him so tightly he knew he'd have bruises. He wanted to be with her. He wanted to hold her. She mattered to him more than she would ever come to realize. He was and would be there for her. He'd hold her for as long as she'd let him.

For as long as she needed him.

* * *

_**July 31, 2011**_

They had believed she was on the road to recovery and recouping, but she wasn't.

Sofia had a seizure.

As much as they wanted to convince themselves that the worst wasn't happening, it was. That was the sad and painful reality.

Their daughter had seized.

Cuddy's heart had never beat so rapidly before as she immediately made her way to the NICU after having been informed, House hot on her heels behind her.

None of it was happening.

It was all a nightmare.

First, a seizure that came out of nowhere, then apnea spells. They ordered tests, not even waiting for more symptoms to arise, acting as quickly as possible.

A few hours later, they did an ultrasound and a CT scan of her brain, discovering that bleeding had occurred in the ventricles of Sofia's brain, though, thankfully, the ventricles weren't dilated.

They diagnosed her with Grade II Intraventricular Hemorrhage.

It was common for premature babies, but House and Cuddy both knew the severity of it.

There was no cure, no treatment.

No reassurances.

And that was what scared them most of all.

* * *

_**August 10, 2011**_

He walked into her office spotting her staring outside her window, arms folded atop her stomach. He watched her for a while, her face blank as her eyes observed the world outside the four corners of her office. Her face was clear of any tearstains so he assumed she was just lost in thought, processing everything.

He walked up behind her. He didn't have to make his presence known; she already knew it'd be him.

"We should consider other options," he started, his voice lower than usual. He was still watching her, how beautiful she was despite everything they had been through recently.

"What do you mean?" Her eyes didn't part with the scenery before her as she replied in question.

"If Sofia's brain bleed worsens. We should start considering other options."

It hurt her to think of it, but House was right. They had to plan in advance; be prepared.

"She may require Ventriculoperitoneal shunting. Or they might try draining CSF via her spine."

"She's too young, too fragile for those things," Cuddy quietly murmured, her eyes finally meeting his as she looked at him from over her shoulder. She saw that he was just as scared as her of the things that could happen, but at least he was being strong.

She had had the feeling that he'd be the first to breakdown, but things were different now. And he had changed. She was glad she had him. To be strong for them in the moments she could no longer be.

House nodded in agreement.

"I know. But if—"

The word 'but' made her cringe and worry relentlessly these days.

"She won't. She's going to get better," it was her turn to reassure him, pressing her fingers to his lips after turning to face him, the fingers of her other hand settling above his heart.

"But—"

"No buts."

"She's going to get better," he echoed, doing his best to overcome his negativity and think positively. But being House, he couldn't help but run through possibilities and probabilities in his mind. It was irritating him to no end, knowing there was no other way around what had taken hold of his daughter. Knowing that, even with his great diagnostic skills, there was nothing he could do medically.

"Stop thinking."

"Have you met me?" he gazed down into her eyes, a small smirk on his face. They knew each other too well.

Cuddy sighed, turning in his arms, her back facing him.

House held onto her arm, pulling her against his chest.

"I can still hear that brain of yours," she muttered, though his arms enveloping her made her voice come out soft; he was security and strength personified for her.

"The day you don't is the day I—"

"Not funny."

"Sorry."

He rubbed her arms before wrapping his around her again.

"She's going to be okay," Cuddy said, believing with every fiber of her being and soul that she would, trying with all her might to purge her skepticism, doubt, and fear. They had to fight, because not fighting meant giving up on their own flesh and blood, their own daughter.

She was depending on them; they had to be strong and fight for her.

They had to _believe_.

* * *

_**August 28, 2011**_

"She's gone, Greg," she whispered so forlornly that House barely recognized her as the strong Lisa Cuddy he knew. His first name leaving her lips made him tighten his grip on her, running a hand through her curls. He kissed the crown of her head with a tenderness he never knew he was capable of extending. Her voice was almost incoherent, her face pressed against his chest. "My baby's gone," she said, her body wracking with sobs. Every time she was reminded of it was like the first time the truth had hit her.

"Sofi's gone," she'd cry over and over, hands clutching onto his shirt so tightly her knuckles turned white. She had never known pain like the one she was living at that moment. It was terrifying and excruciating. Each time she said this in her hoarse, raspy and breathy cry and moan of grief, he broke, like pixels dissolving into a million fragmented pieces.

There was nothing he could tell her, nothing he could say, nothing more he could do but hold her. Never had he felt so useless.

"We'll get through this," he said in the softest whisper minutes later, finally finding the courage and the voice to speak. It was the only comfort he could provide. He had to say something to give her even the tiniest shrapnel of hope and comfort amidst the looming darkness and uncertainty threatening to mercilessly engulf them.

He could only hope that they'd get through this, or at least she would. She had to.

He kissed her forehead, feeling that her temperature was too warm again. She had a fever. She was too tired, too weak.

"We need to get you home," he told her gently. "You have a fever. You need to rest," he whispered softly against her ear, tentatively wiping the tears from her face as he cupped her cheek with one hand.

She shook her head, wanting to stay close to her daughter's grave for a little longer. She sniffed but just as quickly broke into sobs again, her legs almost giving out.

He had to convince her to leave—for her own good. He didn't know how much more her body could take. He himself didn't want to leave yet, but he was thinking about her well-being.

"Lisa..."

She laid her hand atop his heart, feeling it beat against her palm. Slowly, she met his eyes, pleading, and breathed, "Greg... please... just a few more minutes? Please…"

House closed his eyes and nodded in helpless acquiescence, pressing his lips against her warm temple once again and wrapped his arms tighter around her. The sparkle and life had been drained from her eyes and from her being. He hated seeing emptiness in her eyes. He had no reason to, but he blamed himself for it.

"Okay," he whispered. He couldn't say no. He wouldn't dare say no. They'd leave when she was ready. She sighed against his neck and buried her face there, seeking an unattainable solace in his arms.

House eventually lowered them to the ground. They sat grieving the death of their firstborn who had stayed with them and made them happy, giving their lives meaning, for the few days and weeks she had lived. It wasn't enough, but there was nothing they could do, nothing they could have done.

She just wasn't meant to be theirs, at least not in this life.

Their only wish was that she was in a better place now, without pain.

* * *

_**August 19, 2011**_

As House and Cuddy made their way to the elevators, a nurse called out to Cuddy, excusing herself.

"Dr. Cuddy, I was wondering i—"

"Dr. Cuddy's on leave. Take your incompetence to her Temp."

Cuddy shot House a glare as the nurse's face reddened with embarrassment, mumbling an apology before turning to leave, but before she could walk more than three feet away from them, Cuddy stopped her.

"Wait for me in the nurse's station," she instructed the nurse before looking at House.

"I'll be right there, I'll just," she was about to gesture towards the direction of the nurse's station just around the corner when House's face suddenly turned serious, his forehead creasing.

"What?" she asked him, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"We've got a bundle of poop to see," House told her, making sure she knew the hierarchy of their priorities as of late. He took hold of her elbow, but she gently pulled it away from his grasp.

"I know, I just—"

"You're on leave. Let your Temp handle it."

"I'm sure she knows there's a Temp, but—"

"Our daughter comes first," he cut her off, his voice slightly awkward. He was surprised that _he _was the one reminding her of their top priority.

Cuddy stayed silent for a while, licking her lips then pursing it. She looked into his eyes and asked him, "Don't you think I know that?"

"You can know it but not honor it, Cuddy. There's a difference. Right now you just know it."

"I won't be long, it's not like I'm doing paperwork right now."

"Fine. I'll see you later," he told her coldly, annoyed at her at the moment for putting her job first over their sick daughter. Maybe it was just the stress, but he couldn't help but snap a bit. He turned to head towards the NICU when Cuddy suddenly latched onto his biceps.

Cuddy watched the emotions play across his face. He was really disappointed. She wasn't planning on working at all. She was only going to see what the nurse needed to ask her about. How could she be a good Dean of Medicine and Hospital Administrator if she didn't accommodate her employees' questions?

But, as she looked at his face and the way his shoulders slumped, she couldn't help but acknowledge and agree that he was right. There were far more important things than nurses with questions. Besides, she could ask the Temp _then _look for her if she wasn't satisfied with her Temp's reply or advice.

"No," she whispered, taking hold of his biceps with a warm hand. "I'm sorry, you're right." She slid her hand down his arm and slipped it into his, interlacing their fingers. "I'm coming with you."

Awkwardly, House nodded once, his face lightening up the slightest bit at her change of heart.

Together, they made their way to Sofia, hand in hand.

House was thankful that he was able to convince Cuddy to stay home that night.

"Just tonight," she had told him begrudgingly, wishing she didn't have to go home to get a change of clothes and actually _rest _for a while. There was still a big probability that Sofia would have to get a surgically placed shunt; her IVH wouldn't go down from Level II.

As with every other child in the NICU, the neonatologist and NICU staff kept very close tabs on her. Another reason House was able to convince her to go home for at least a night was that Chase and Wilson volunteered to keep an eye on their daughter as well.

House's eyes slowly fluttered open to the dark room he was in. He reached beside him and didn't feel Cuddy. He pressed himself against her side of the bed to gauge how long she had been out of it. Based on the lack of warmth, he surmised that she had been gone from his side for quite a long while.

House rubbed a hand along his face, trying to wipe off sleep and exhaustion. He had to check if she was alright. He got out of bed and exited their bedroom, trying to use his ears to locate her whereabouts. He heard no silent cries.

That was good, wasn't it?

She wasn't in the kitchen or the living room.

Instantly, he knew exactly where she was. He sighed deeply.

He entered the nursery and saw her reclined in the rocking chair, knees tucked under her chin. She was staring off at a distance, consumed by her own thoughts. He saw the tears continuously framing her once vibrant visage and he felt something inside him break.

He walked towards her and knelt beside her. Cuddy didn't even bat an eyelid until he pulled her out of her trance and into his arms. His fingers ran through her untamed curls as he gave her his shoulder to cry on and his warmth to remind her that he was with her; that he wouldn't be going anywhere.

"You need to sleep," he told her in a low, soft whisper. He pulled away from their embrace and molded his palms against her damp cheeks. He brushed her tears away and gazed at her defeated face.

"I can't," she brokenly revealed, her lifeless eyes piercing him. "All I see is her. All I could think about is her," she told him in a whisper. "I can't sleep… I just…"

Thinking of it, she honestly couldn't remember what lead her to the nursery that night, or the breakdown she was currently having. Helplessness had struck her out of nowhere; it made her feel so powerless, so inefficient. She felt so guilt-ridden she couldn't sleep.

Almost every minute of her day revolved around thoughts of their daughter, whether or not she'd make it. Every minute spent of thinking so negatively made her want to retch. She should be the one with hope. Their daughter more than deserved a fighting chance and parents who fought alongside and for her.

"I know," he hushed her soothingly, lifting her into his arms and setting her down on the couch they had bought for the nursery.

"She's going to leave us," Cuddy shakily moaned, slowly breaking into tears again, her voice muffled by his chest.

House pulled her from him, frowning as he reminded her, "She's not gone, Cuddy. She's still fighting for her life. She's a fighter, just like her mother." He let out a small smirk, making Cuddy let out a small, wistful smile.

"She's been fighting too hard, too long," Cuddy whispered, shuddering. It made her ache just as much as it made her proud, seeing Sofia fight so hard. No child, especially no infant should be subjected to so much pain and suffering. No mother should see her child suffering and not be able to do anything about it. Though she already knew it, she just couldn't help but think how the way of the world could be so cruel.

"I'm not big on faith, Cuddy, but I think the best we could do is suspend our negativity and believe that she'd pull through."

That night, Lisa Cuddy fell asleep on the couch they had purchased and placed in their daughter's room, wishing Sofia got well soon so they could finally welcome her home, where she truly belonged. House fell asleep on the floor, faithfully staying by Cuddy's side.

Five hours later, Cuddy woke up and opened her eyes to the dimly-lit room. She saw House passed out on the floor, head propped up by a pillow, an arm covering his eyes. She stood from the couch and lay beside him on the carpeted floor, seeking comfort in his warmth and temporary serenity in his arms.

A few minutes later his arm came to wrap around her. She buried her face into his neck and fell into a restful sleep for the first time in weeks, hope slithering into her heart.

* * *

_**August 20, 2011**_

"How is she?" Wilson inquired. They were having lunch at the hospital cafeteria, in a booth away from others.

"Cuddy or the spawn?"

"How about both?"

"Cuddy's about to kill herself with worry and Sofia might need to have a shunt placed if the bleed exacerbates into another level."

"By the way, why aren't you with Cuddy?"

"Because I'm having lunch with you," House retorted without missing a beat. Wilson rolled his eyes.

House turned serious for a moment, telling Wilson, "She wanted some time alone."

"Why, what did you say?"

House rolled his eyes at his best friend, asking him, "Why is it when she wants to be away from me, to you it means _I _did something wrong?"

"Because you're House. Simple as that," Wilson stated nonchalantly, shrugging.

After a moment, the oncologist took a pause, thinking.

"Go be with her," he suddenly ordered House in a firm yet low voice.

"I think you didn't hear me tell you she asked to be left alone."

"And you gave her that?" Wilson snapped irritably. "It's the last thing she needs, you idiot," he chastised.

Silence.

"I have no idea what I'm doing."

Wilson sighed, his eyes softening as he looked at how tired House looked. "Go be with Cuddy," he told him, "I'll stay with Sofia until either you or Cuddy get back."

House nodded in agreement.

Cuddy's eyes widened.

"Who's with her?"

"Wilson."

"Why are you here? I told you I—"

"You don't want that. Not really."

"My arms are open, feel free to throw yourself at me," he sighed in mock exasperation.

She just stared at him for a while.

A second later she shook her head.

"Just go," she told him, diverting her gaze.

"No."

Her head shot at him and she glared, piercing him with her icy gaze. He could see right through the façade of strength she was trying to embody.

"I want to be alone."

"No, you don't."

He sighed, running a hand across his face. He took the initiative and approached her. He took her hands in his, pulling her up from her seat. She was tense and her form was rigid. He wrapped one arm around her waist and his other hand moved to cup her nape, pulling her head towards him so she could rest her face in his neck. So she could rest her troubles and fears in him, in his arms. He knew he wouldn't be able to do much, but he was more than willing to show her that now more than ever, she wasn't going to have to go through this challenge alone.

A moment passed before she finally surrendered her pride and stubbornness, wrapping her arms around him and molding herself to his solid and warm frame. She let out a deep and heavy sigh.

"I've got you," he whispered into her ear, a promise to never give up when things get rough.

* * *

_**August 22, 2011**_

"We can't just ignore that the severity of her bleed increased and extended to other parts of her brain." House spoke. They were in his office, reclined on his couch.

"I know that!" she suddenly burst, her head moving to look away from him.

"Why are you yelling?" he asked, a frown taking hold of his face.

Cuddy shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I'm just…" she trailed off, sighing, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"This is _so _hard," she whispered, her head tilted down.

"I know," he held her by the shoulders, squeezing them. "I know."

"We can't agree to the surgery. It's _insane_. She's too young. She won't be able to make it," Cuddy argued softly. Sofia was still too fragile. In a few months' time, if her bleed hadn't gone down, they can talk about considering it.

"It would give her a better chance at—"

"No, House. We _can't _give our consent."

"If push comes to shove, Cuddy, we're going to have to," his voice had never sounded so serious, so firm.

House could see the utter fear in her eyes as she said, "It's o_ur daughter's life _we're talking about here. One move, one _wrong _move on our part could take her away in the blink of an eye. I _can't _take that;I won't be able to take that."

"Not doing anything is the worst course of action," House stated, his head lowering a bit.

Cuddy sighed, nodding her head, wishing this didn't have to happen to her little Sofi. She knew that things like this happen all the time, but nobody deserved this.

_Nobody._

It proved that one of House's many philosophies was right.

Nobody got what they deserve.

They just get what they get.

* * *

_**August 24, 2011**_

Sofia's Intraventricular Hemorrhage worsened the day prior. The doctors had been trying to convince them that the last option was to surgically place the Ventriculoperitoneal shunt to alleviate the pressure. That their daughter's life _might _be saved by that shunt. Might. They would never settle for anything below _'will', _especially not Cuddy.

"We should give them the consent."

"No! She could _die_, our daughter could _die_. We can't just consent to them opening her up at her age. She won't make it through that!"

Cuddy had stood on her toes, her chin raised as she opposed him. Her eyes were ablaze as she fought for their daughter's life, not knowing whether she was doing more bad than good, but aware that she just_had _to protect her from further threats. Even if it meant protecting her from her own father.

"You don't know that!"

"Like how we don't know if she'll leave the OR _alive_!" Cuddy spat, her face red, eyes red-rimmed. They hadn't had much rest in the past few days.

"There's a reason they wait _months_ before surgically inserting a shunt into an infant's head!"

House sighed heavily, running a hand along his face. He shook his head."Cuddy. Don't be difficult."

"I'm not being difficult, I'm being ethical and reasonable!"

"You're being emotional!"

"I'm her _mother_!" Cuddy hissed, gritting her teeth.

"I'm her father. Emotions won't get her anywhere, not right now. We have to stay objective."

"It's her last chance," House added.

"It is not," Cuddy indignantly negated.

"Stop blinding yourself!" he suddenly blurted out, practically scoffing. The doctor in him was taking hold of the steering wheel. If Cuddy refused to see reason, he was going to make her see it by whatever means necessary.

Cuddy stared at him for a while, surprised by his outburst.

"We've tried hope," he told her, "It didn't work. We should move on to the next thing. The only miracle in front of us is that surgery," House was losing patience. They were losing precious time, arguing about the surgery.

"She could _die_!"

"Or she could get _better_ and live a normal life! Keeping her from having that surgery could end up killing her!"

"No House, no," Cuddy adamantly shook her head. "She's not one of your patients. You don't get to use her as—"

"That's not what I'm doing! I'm thinking rationally about what could _save _our daughter."

He sighed, lowering his voice. He was getting very agitated. "We have to drain the fluid; we've got to alleviate the pressure on her brain. Sticking a needle into her spinal cord won't be as effective."

Cuddy shook her head, standing her ground. "It's insane, House."

"It's our only hope."

"I can't allow it, I—"

Her words were cut off by the sound of his pager which he immediately unclipped from his pocket. His eyes widened and he immediately turned deadly serious.

"We'll talk about this later," House firmly stated, his voice soft but stern. He met Cuddy's eyes as he reread the page.

"We-"

"We'll talk about this _later,_" he firmly stated before telling her in a slightly shaky voice, "Sofia's coding."

Cuddy's eyes widened as fear crept into every pore of her being, slithering into her veins. She met his frightened orbs with her own panicked pair and without a word she started to move towards the emergency exit, not having the time or leisure to wait for the elevator. She made her way to the NICU's floor, pulling at the heavy door. She ran as fast as her feet allowed her, her heart pounding mercilessly against her insides, blood blurring her hearing. Nurses looked on, seeing their boss run to where her and House's daughter was.

Cuddy stopped dead in her tracks once she reached the NICU. The monotonous beeping sound of the electrocardiogram was what met her. All she could manage to do was stare.

She felt arms wrap around her waist the moment she felt her feet giving out from under her. She didn't even bother to look at the man behind her. She knew it was him.

She watched the people around Sofia, seemingly detached from her own body, doing their best to revive her and House's daughter, in vain. The cardiac flatline, music to Death's ears, continued to blanket the once quiet unit.

They came too late.

They didn't reach her in time.

They were too late.

And now she was gone.

Neither of them was ready to accept that, not just yet.

"We should call time of death," House and Cuddy heard someone say.

That broke the mother of the infant out of her trance.

"No!" was Cuddy's immediate and stern reply to the person. She pushed forward, breaking free from House's embrace and continued what her employees had given up on doing— she wasn't going to give up on her daughter.

"No!" she repeated, tears starting to cloud her vision as the frightening truth slowly sank in.

This wasn't happening. They weren't losing their daughter. This couldn't happen. Not to them. Not to anyone. Nothing could compare to this torturous and painful feeling of loss and defeat.

They weren't losing Sofia. Not tonight. Not ever.

Again and again, she tried to bring their daughter back from Death's grim embrace.

Again and again, she failed.

People had evacuated the room, giving the parents time alone with their child.

Her baby wasn't leaving them. No. She couldn't leave them. Not now.

House watched helplessly as Cuddy tried with everything she could to revive their daughter. He couldn't believe his own eyes. He just lost a daughter. He and Cuddy lost her.

He looked on, rooted to his spot, frozen, numb. Broken. As every attempt of Cuddy's failed, his walls crumbled around him, bringing him down along with the debris. He was about to lose everything. God forbid, he might lose Cuddy as well.

"Don't go," Cuddy cried in an incoherent whisper as she continued what she had been doing. Every second, every minute spent trying to bring back that rhythmic sound of Sofia's heartbeat only increased the inevitable reality that she wasn't coming back to them. She wouldn't be coming back.

House knew he had to do something, but do something, he couldn't. He was practically standing in front of his daughter and his lover, almost catatonic.

She was gone.

Their daughter was gone.

"No!" Cuddy cried in an anguished mantra, repeating the word over and over again, sobbing as she fixated her eyes on their daughter's cherubic face. How could she sleep at night, knowing her daughter wasn't with them? How could she continue living on if she had no reason to do so?

The spell cast upon House was broken and he blinked, unaware that he had started to shed tears. He watched in helpless countenance as Cuddy cried unabashedly, the idea of keeping her strong image and reputation far from her conscious.

Cuddy was stricken with grief only a mother who lost her child would ever be able to perceive. What else was there to live for? Her job? House?

Everything seemed pointless now that she didn't have her daughter.

Cuddy continuously cried in earnest until she felt a pair of hands take hold of the instruments she held in her own, taking them from her and setting them aside. She glanced to her left and saw House finally turn off the machines connected to their daughter.

The room once again became filled with silence.

The father of the baby who laid still on the bassinet called time of death- the hardest and most painful thing he had ever done. Nothing could come close to the coldness and loss seeping into every fissure of his being as the words passed his lips, their effect on the woman next to him twice as large, destructive and poignant.

House's walls crumbled around him, stripping him bare of anything, including his life. He stood beside the woman who gave life to his child, dead to anything but the fact that he'd lost his daughter, losing a part of the woman beside him, as well as himself along the way. He had failed them.

For minutes, they stood there gazing at their deceased child surrounded by a number of infants whose futures were as uncertain as Sofia's had been.

Their daughter laid there, lifeless— an angel who never got to see the rest of the world. She would be remembered as the daughter of the hospital's dean and the curmudgeon diagnostician who lived only to say goodbye, leaving her parents grieving and as lifeless as she left the world.

House watched as Cuddy brought Sofia into her trembling arms, kissing every exposed piece of flesh of their daughter. She whispered her love and everything else she could put into words...

Everything but goodbye.

Cuddy couldn't say goodbye. She wouldn't say goodbye. She was dying inside as it was. Letting those parting words flow from her mouth would just twist the knife deeper into her aching chest. She was drowning from the ache already; she'd die if she said goodbye now, at that moment. She wasn't ready to let those words go, let Sofia go.

House pulled her to his chest, embracing her and the infant in her arms. He buried his face in her hair, kissing the top of her head.

Where would they go from here?

* * *

_**August 28, 2011**_

He held her until the exhaustion drove her to unconsciousness. He carried her in his arms, bidding their princess goodbye and apologizing for Mommy's lack of parting words.

Despite himself, he spoke, telling her that Mommy and Daddy loved her so much. That they'd _always_ love her.

House sat her inside the car and strapped her securely, reclining the seat a little bit. He kissed her forehead once more, brushing away the wild curls that fell upon her worn face. She was still beautiful in his eyes. He wished there was anything he could do, but nothing would make her feel better anytime soon.

"I love you," he whispered before he gently shut the door to her side in place and rounded the car to the driver's side.

"We'll get through this," he determinedly stated, looking at her before driving them, slowly, back home.

* * *

**_A/N: _**_Loved? Liked? Hate me for being so goddamn cruel as to kill a baby and make you waste packets of tissues? What do you think is gonna happen next?_**_  
Leave a review and lemme know what you guys think or how you feel, if you please!_**

**____****Don't let go and don't lose faith in me! ;) You all know I love happy endings. :)**

**___As always, thank you so much for reading!_**


	44. Grief

**_DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Shore & Co.'s._**

**_A/N: 7 MONTHS! _**_Unforgivable, I know! I'm sorry it took THAT long for a measly 6.9k-word chapter. Things got really busy in school with all the programming and stuff we had to complete. One of the important subjects was a prerequisite for Software Engineering (Thesis!)- really important. __Proud to say I'm on my fifth and final year of college this incoming school year! :) Depending on what I'll be doing in my internship, I might have more time to write. I make no promises, though! _

_Thank you to my ever-awesome whiteboard/beta **Penelope S Cartwright**! She has a new oneshot out, you guys! It's called "**Deep Breath**", and it's CRAZY good! :) _

_Things in Absence land will get worse before they get better! I'm not going to rush this important phase, don't worry! Hope you guys like it! This chapter picks up from where 42 left off. _

_**Not a very easy chapter to write or read, but I hope you guys bear with me! **_

* * *

_**ABSENCE**_

* * *

_**CHAPTER 43: GRIEF**_

_**.**_

He'd been parked in front of the house for an entire hour already. She had stirred on the way home, but she never woke up.

He reached for her hand, which had fallen to her side, caressing her palm with the lightest of touches. He gazed at her as she slept, the most heart-breaking pain and sadness etched on her worn face—a mother's sorrow.

He couldn't believe how the tables had turned. It seemed only weeks ago they were happier than they have ever been. Happier than they ever thought they could achieve to be.

Never in his life did Gregory House imagine that he'd lose his firstborn child. He couldn't believe how it was eating him up inside. The grief, the loss, the pain, and the guilt for not being able to do anything other than watch as their daughter died.

Nothing had ever struck him as hard.

His head dipped down, staring at their intertwined fingers, hoping this tragedy wouldn't sever what they had, and what they could still have, together. He had never been an optimist, but he was more than open to try and be just that, for them. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her as well.

"Cuddy," he whispered throatily, squeezing her hand gently. She shifted in her seat, but didn't wake up. He felt her forehead, feeling her temperature. He sighed. He wished she didn't have to be sick; she was already weak enough from everything they'd been through.

He exited the car and shut the door as quietly as he could. He went to the front door, unlocked it, and pushed it open.

He walked back to the car, opened the passenger's side door and unfastened her seatbelt. Carefully, he extricated her limp form from the car and kneed the door closed. As he carried Cuddy to their home, he felt her bury her face in the crook of his neck. He dropped a delicate kiss on her forehead.

He settled her in bed, pulling the duvet up and under her chin after having removed her shoes.

He brushed her hair from her worn face before getting up from the bed and leaving the bedroom.

* * *

House sat down heavily on the living room couch, running a palm against his jaw.

He was just as lost as Cuddy.

Breathing deeply, he tried to think of anything that could distract him from their situation. But his mind wouldn't let go. It couldn't.

He still blamed himself—how could he not? He was supposed to save his daughter. They had silently vowed to do everything for Sofia, but they ended up doing nothing but argue about their options. He couldn't blame Cuddy; he would never blame her. She had only been trying to protect their daughter from the risks because she was afraid that the procedure would end up taking their daughter instead of reducing the bleed.

He abruptly stood from the couch and made his way to the kitchen. He pulled the fridge door open and pulled out a bottle of water, uncapping it. He drank until the bottle was empty.

He fisted his hands after disposing of the bottle, taking long and deep breaths to try and calm himself.

Once more contemplating how useless he'd been, his fist retracted from the granite countertop before loudly crashing down onto the surface with force.

He hated himself then.

Everyone had told them they couldn't have done anything, but deep inside himself, he knew he should have tried harder to search for anything that could have helped Sofia. He was supposed to stop at nothing to cure his daughter.

He grit his teeth as he fought with himself. The part that insisted he was to blame for this tragedy grew stronger even as part of him reminded himself that there had been nothing they could have done.

Nothing could have saved Sofia, even if they had all the money and resources in the world.

It took him more than twenty minutes to calm down, but even then, his thoughts were still driving him mad, voices and emotions warring within him.

As he made his way to the living room once more so he could sit, his eyes caught sight of his piano.

Peace suddenly seemed attainable as his eyes roamed over his baby grand, music pushing the thoughts threatening to unglue him into the back of his mind.

A hand caressed the sleek instrument while the other lifted the lid. His heart's beating slowed as his fingers started to glide over the pristine keys.

Only when he played did he find peace.

* * *

Everything was as silent as the night, save for the most melancholic of melodies mystically floating across the rooms of the house.

It was the heartbreaking melody of a man, beaten down by life's tragedies. The melody was the _heart_ of a man who had lost someone. It was House's music, stirred from within the depths of his being by the loss of his daughter.

What he could not show in actions, what he could not speak in words, and what he could not express through tears, he let spill into his fingers and onto the pristine keys of his prized piano. His music floated around him, enveloping him in a cocoon of mixed emotions led by the grief and blame he thrust unto himself. The music gave him peace, but his melody mirrored his emotions.

The emotions he could not allow himself to feel just yet, he let flow from him and into his music.

He was a man who had to remain strong no matter how much he wanted to revert to his old ways—drink himself into a stupor, become detached, self-destruct, and damn everything else.

He had and _was _going to stay with her faithfully, he had promised himself that. _He_ had promised _her _that. Promised her he would never leave again.

Everything _hurt_ and he just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted _her _agony to be ended. But all of that was just wishful thinking. The unfortunate reality was inescapable.

All they could do was try and go against the looming darkness, hoping they'd survive the cataclysm of the death of a child, their own_ daughter_, had caused.

Cuddy's eyes opened to the darkness and emptiness mirroring her heart. The only light was one she could not see but hear.

His own heart, his _soul_, poured into and translated through music only he could create.

She closed her eyes and squeezed them shut, taking in his emotions—the things he could and probably never would say. The feelings he would probably do his best to hide, to try and be strong for her, for them both. She knew he was also hurting, but instead of going out there and comforting him, she allowed him his privacy for a while. They would talk and comfort each other later.

Her eyes opened once again and a tear escaped her left one.

For all the strength she knew she was capable of embodying, never in her lifetime did she think she'd be as lost as she was at that moment.

Another warm tear caressed her skin as she squeezed her eyes shut once more, her own heart strangling her.

She didn't know where to go from here.

* * *

It was an hour or two, later, that she found herself waking up to her hateful reality once more. As she pulled herself up from their bed, she could not help but feel empty.

She went out of the bedroom and made her way to the kitchen. She watched him as he quietly moved about, preparing dinner. Her heart pounded against her chest as she tried to keep herself from running towards him and wrapping her arms around him.

"Hey," he quietly murmured, having the feeling that she was right behind him.

She let out a quiet "hi" back before taking a step forward to stand directly behind him. She couldn't help herself from wanting to feel his warmth engulfing her. She told herself that at least she hadn't run towards him. Slowly, her arms crept up and curled around his waist. He stopped mixing the pot and settled his hands atop hers.

"I wish she hadn't—," she whispered shakily, still unable to accept what had come to pass.

"I know," he gently cut her off and took hold of one of her hands. He held it up to press a soft kiss on her knuckles. "I know," he repeated with a sigh, turning in her arms to wrap her in his embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing her hair.

That was the moment she sobbed, unable to contain herself and her overwhelming emotions. It was an unstoppable influx of every hurtful and suffocating thing she felt laced with sadness and despair. She cried against him, allowing him to anchor her, carry and lift her through the raging waves.

An hour had passed before her tears stopped. He was able to convince her to eat, knowing that he had only been successful due to her not having eaten anything in almost twenty-four hours. He knew she was nowhere near having any appetite to eat, but he was partially glad she had acquiesced.

She was taking her time in eating, taking minutes upon minutes until she took another bite. He was watching her, wanting to make sure she was at least going to eat enough.

"I was thinking—" He had only started talking when Cuddy quietly cut him off.

"Not tonight," she said in a whisper, looking him straight in the eyes.

"I need it to be quiet," she explained, almost shyly. There was a spark of desperation behind her sapphire gaze that made him speak no further.

"Okay," he conceded, brows knitting together.

When they'd finished eating she took charge of the plates and he allowed her, knowing she was just instinctively (and ineffectively) trying to keep her mind off of… things. She headed to the bathroom afterwards, not speaking a word to him.

House made himself as comfortable as he could on their couch, turning on the TV but putting it on mute so he could hear her if she called for him.

She watched as the water slowly started filling the tub, lost in her own thoughts. The heat the water was giving off was so inviting that she could hardly wait to soak herself into it.

A blind hope that the heat of the water could warm the chilling cold she felt rose within her. The moment it entered her mind though, she knew no scalding heat would be able to bring back the warmth she had felt just a few weeks earlier. That welcomed warmth that had usurped her body and soul as she held and gazed at the life she and House had created together.

She feared that warmth would forever be gone from her.

She sat on top of the covered bowl, eyes fixated on the tub before her. She watched the water escaping the tap, busying her mind with anything she could think of, and observed how it melded into the waiting water below. She looked on, as it seemed to flow and swirl gracefully along the inside of her tub before her eyes.

She was only pulled from her thoughts when the sound of the first splash of water spilling onto the tiled floor of their bathroom entered her ears.

"Plan on making the bathroom a swimming pool?" House's voice flitted through the room and her head whipped towards him. She would have glared, she knew, but she didn't.

But the first smile since before Sofia died graced her lips. Okay, he thought to himself, it wasn't a smile. The right corner of her mouth had tugged up the slightest bit. He took that as a positive sign that things _could_ and _would_ get better.

He knew it was going to take time, but he was not going to be impatient. He wasn't going to rush her. He himself needed time to heal as well.

He was relying on her just as she was relying on him for hope that things wouldn't fall apart. They were two pillars leaning on one another for support. If one caved, the other would fall as well. They were both hanging by a thread, and neither wanted to fall into the darkness and misery waiting to claim them.

"Want to join me?" she asked softly, their eyes meeting.

"You sure?" he asked just as delicately.

Cuddy only nodded.

"Sure," he accepted the offer, the need to be near her growing within him.

House closed the bathroom door behind him before approaching her.

The reason for her turning her back on him would probably forever be a confusing thought to ponder for them both. They had never been hesitant of letting each other see their nudity. In fact, they had used to love studying each other's bodies.

Delicately, she undressed herself, her back facing him. House did the same, eyes trained on her, his mind confused as to why she had turned from him.

When they'd undressed, House began to get settle into the water first. But he had barely gotten a foot in when he pulled back and almost fell on his ass from the scalding water his foot had ventured into.

"Are you trying to burn your skin off?" he almost shouted, wondering why she would want to soak into practically boiling water.

Her forehead creased and she walked towards the tub. As him, she pulled her hand from the water instantly after having dipped two fingers in.

"Oh." She murmured.

"Oh?" House asked in confusion.

"I wasn't aware it was that hot," she answered timidly.

House sighed before running a bit of cold water into the scalding water, never mind that the tiled floor was being graced with more water.

When House felt the water wasn't going to skin him alive, he shut the tap and settled himself into the warmed water. Cuddy carefully got in and she almost naturally leaned back into his broad chest. As her skin touched his, she felt at home for the first time since she woke up.

"What was with the turning thing?" House asked her.

"Nothing," she answered, eyes closed.

"You've never done that," he pointed out.

"It was _nothing_," she stressed in a firm whisper.

He knew there was a reason. He felt it in the way her form had tensed a little.

He snaked his arms around her waist and held her to him. But the moment he had touched her stomach she sat up rigidly.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked, running a hand along her spine.

Her eyes were screwed shut and her breathing slowly started to accelerate.

His touch burned her with the beautiful yet painful memory of the moment they'd been in the same position months ago, when they had agreed to name their daughter Sofia. Her happiness had consumed her body, mind and soul that night. She had told him that he made her happier than she ever hoped to be.

Cuddy wasn't aware that she had begun to cry until she felt him wiping her tears away.

She turned her head and curled herself towards him, burying her face against his neck.

It was too much.

Everything served to remind her of the daughter they had lost. She couldn't even allow herself to be comforted the way he knew how without recalling a moment he had done so during her pregnancy.

As she cried against him, her emotions clouding any other thoughts, she couldn't help but lose herself in her tears. Tears she thought she wouldn't be able to cry anymore.

It was only the sound of his voice that was able to pull her out of her hole.

"I'm here," he reminded her. He was not good at being there for anyone but her.

"Come on, water's getting cold," he said about fifteen minutes later, gently nudging her.

They got ready for bed and House went out of the room to check that every door and window had been locked and bolted properly before returning to the bedroom.

She was already asleep by the time he joined her in bed.

He watched her sleep for a while until his own exhaustion washed over him by surprise.

He pulled her to him before he allowed himself to succumb to a restless sleep, fingers carding through her hair until his mind and body surrendered to it.

* * *

_**August 29**_

House turned to drowsily drape an arm around Cuddy, but his limb only met with the soft comforter covering the mattress. His eyes shot open, feeling awake almost immediately.

He glanced at the digital clock on her nightstand and was surprised to see that it was only a few minutes past six in the morning.

He tried to listen to his surroundings, checking for any indication that she was inside the house: running water, the sound of the TV or radio, even the smell of something cooking or brewing. Nobody was inside the house, he was already around fifty percent sure of that. She could be sleeping on the couch in the living room or the nursery, or she could be sitting on the couch reading or whatnot. She could even be staring at a distance for all he knew.

He sighed heavily before sitting up in bed.

He got up off the bed and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, wash his face and relieve himself before he went looking for her in the house.

A couple of minutes later he found no Cuddy.

She could have gone to work, he thought. He knew she always took solace in the fact that there were _always_ a lot of things that needed to be done at work so she could have a reprieve from things she did not want to have to deal with. But her car was in the driveway, parked in front of his.

To be certain though, he called the hospital to check if she had gone in.

A few rings later and an answer to his question, he started to be more concerned.

He thought for a while before an idea as to where she could be entered his mind.

* * *

"You could have left a note," House told Cuddy in a whisper.

Cuddy's head whipped back to look at him, surprised that he was there. Quickly, she wiped the tears from her face.

"Sorry," she mumbled before looking back at their daughter's grave.

"S'okay," House assured her, moving to stand behind her. Tentatively, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her against his chest and pulling her against him. He made sure to not brush against her abdomen, remembering her reaction to it the night prior. She still had that fever, he noted with concern.

"House," Cuddy suddenly whimpered, his presence rendering her unable to contain her sadness. She was aware that she had to let out what she was feeling or else she would breakdown completely. House's arms tightened around her and she hooked her hands onto his arms, clutching him harder against her aching chest.

They stood together in silence, mourning their daughter for what would be always.

The tears House could feel dripping onto his arms made him feel so useless. He knew there was nothing he could do other than be present, but it didn't make him feel better.

It was minutes later when her crying had ceased, but her trembling continued. She never let go of him, not knowing how to because he was the only thing keeping her upright.

"Let's get you home," House whispered when her trembling subsided, pressing his lips to her temple.

Cuddy was too tired to object. She had only wanted to visit Sofia.

Together they made their way back to the car.

As House led her to it, Cuddy couldn't help but look back.

House gently pulled her closer, arm cinching up and around her shoulder. Subtly, he was leading her forward, knowing that, despite everything, they had to move on.

It was easier said than done, House knew that, but he also knew that they had to take at least even the smallest of steps towards that direction sometime. Staying stuck in the past would only serve to hurt them more. They were going to have to take it one day at a time.

* * *

When they arrived home, Cuddy got out of the car and made her way into the house. House could only watch as she walked away.

He wondered why and how she went from needing him to having to be away from him in different and confusing intervals.

He parked his car properly before following her inside.

"Hey," he greeted when he found her in the kitchen, a glass of water in her hand. "Did you take anything for the fever?" he asked her.

"Yeah," Cuddy replied before drinking the rest of the water in her glass. She moved to the sink and washed her glass.

"Did I do something?" House then asked her, eyes fixed on her almost mechanical movements.

Cuddy's head shot to him, eyebrows drawing together. "No," she told him, "Why?"

House shrugged before looking away. He took a deep breath and met her eyes once more, hands on his sides.

"You're giving me the impression that you'd rather not have me here," he told her sincerely. They already had a lot on their plate. He didn't want to add more to it, but he wanted to know if he'd done something wrong.

Cuddy approached him, placing a hand on his chest. "I'm sorry," she started, placing her forehead to where her hand was. She sighed, "You didn't do anything."

"Then why are you pushing me away?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm not," she shook her head as she looked up to fix her gaze on his cerulean stare. "I wouldn't. I just... I don't know." She sighed heavily, closing her eyes and burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm just so tired."

House ran his hand up and down her back as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. "I know," he said.

"What do you want for lunch?" He asked her as he led her to the living room. When they were seated comfortably on the couch he reached for the remote and turned on the TV. Cuddy draped herself over his torso, head on his chest as she thought.

When Cuddy couldn't think of anything, she told him, "Anything will do."

House frowned.

"You haven't been eating properly for days, Cuddy," he stated, stroking her elbow and hoping she didn't get mad.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, sighing. "I wonder why that is," she murmured, eyes on the screen. He'd stopped at The Discovery Channel.

"You're a doctor," he told her pointedly, "You're sick. You know you need to eat properly to get better."

"What's the point?" Cuddy wanted to mumble, but she bit her tongue. He only wanted to help.

"I know that," she chose to say instead, "I just don't feel like eating." She shrugged.

"That's why I'm asking you to tell me what you want. I'll make it for you," he told her.

"Can't think of anything," she told him honestly. There were too many things in her mind as of late.

"How about..." House thought for a while, mulling over his mental archive of Cuddy's food choices. He smiled slightly upon remembering something.

"How about New York Steak and then Chocolate Mousse for dessert?" he asked. He waited for her to lift her head from his chest to look at him upon remembering.

"Why does that sound familiar?" She suddenly smiled as she picked her head up from his chest and met his eyes.

House could not help but return her smile, one of his hands coming up to cup her cheek. It came rarely these days, her smiling that way.

"Does it?" he asked, smirking playfully.

"Yeah," Cuddy breathed, remembering that beautiful night many months ago.

Brushing a few stray locks of hair from her face, House asked her, "So? Feel like having that for dinner later? I'll think of something else for lunch."

"Hmm," Cuddy hummed, placing her head back on his chest, one arm wrapped around his torso. "Sounds good," she said, smiling fondly at the memories of their reunion blocking the painful memory of the past few weeks. It was a welcomed recollection, because for the first time in weeks, she was able to remember something that did not cause her chest to constrict.

A couple of minutes later, House dipped his head down to check if Cuddy had fallen asleep. He brushed her hair from her face and pressed a feather-light kiss to her head before carefully setting her down on the couch. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen after turning off the TV.

He checked the fridge and the cupboards, wondering what he could make for lunch.

After scouring for ingredients he could use he decided to make spaghetti. He would run to the grocery later that afternoon to buy what he would need for the steak and dessert for dinner that night.

* * *

_**August 30**_

As he stood behind her, House wanted to ask Cuddy if this was what her new morning routine would be- leaving the house at six o'something without leaving a note and heading to the cemetery where Sofia's remains were buried. He did not dare open his mouth. He was only upset that she couldn't spare a minute or two to write about her departure so he wouldn't be left guessing where she'd gone.

Just like yesterday, she hadn't driven her car. He stood by, watching, and waited for her to be ready to leave.

She was still sick, he recalled. He had checked her temperature around four in the morning. He hated not being able to help her get better. He hated how she wouldn't allow him to.

More or less ten minutes later she stood to her feet and turned to look at him. She walked over to him, hooked her arm around his, and whispered, "Let's go."

Together they walked to the car and House drove them back home.

Cuddy still glanced back, sadness in her eyes.

* * *

**August 31**

Moving forward seemed impossible. The first thought that entered her mind when she woke up was that that day marked the first week since Sofia had passed.

Her chest tightened and she rolled to face House. He was fast asleep, his chest rising and falling. She wanted to move closer to him, but she didn't. He looked so peaceful in his sleep she didn't want to rouse him from it.

Carefully, she left his side and changed into something she could wear for her visit to the cemetery. When she finished dressing she quickly scribbled on a piece of paper, left it on the nightstand closest to him and made her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water before she left.

On her way to the front door, she heard House call to her. She turned and saw him hastily tying his shoes on bended knee. She would have smiled fondly at how cute he looked like, tying his shoelaces hurriedly, if her mind hadn't been so preoccupied.

"I'm coming with you," he told her, choosing to not remind her that _it's _been a week already. They both knew what day it was.

"Well, hurry up," she crooned, offering him a small smile which he gladly returned.

"Come on, I'll drive," House said, taking hold of her hand as he moved past her. He quickly noticed that her temperature had gone down, feeling slightly relieved.

They locked up, got in the car, and House drove to the cemetery.

* * *

No one should have to bury their own child.

Cuddy couldn't stop thinking about how unfair the world had been to them.

Sofia had only been twenty-eight days old, why couldn't she have been given more time? Why were they denied the privilege and happiness of knowing and raising their daughter?

She would have gladly given her life if it meant Sofia would get hers to live.

It didn't matter what she thought or how much she hated what happened though. Sofia was gone.

A tear slipped past Cuddy's defenses. She let it.

It had been a week and she had yet to talk about it. Her emotions were bound inside her, unable to confide even in House.

She feared that letting go of those emotions, even the slightest bit, would be her undoing.

Together, House and Cuddy stood quietly, alone amidst the quiet sanctuary of the dead.

* * *

_**3 PM**_

"How are you and Cuddy doing?" Wilson asked the moment House answered the phone. He wanted to call earlier, but had wanted to give House and Cuddy time to themselves. The last thing they needed was someone smothering them with questions like, "Are you okay?" when they weren't.

"How do you think we're doing?" House answered wearily, brows drawing together.

"Sorry," Wilson apologized. "Cuddy?"

"Asleep."

"It's three in the afternoon," Wilson stated. "She still sick?" he asked. He recalled Cuddy being sick during the funeral. He felt utterly sorry for his friends. They didn't deserve what happened. Sofia didn't deserve to die so young and defenseless.

"Low fever, loss of appetite."

"Do you think—no, never mind." Wilson shook his head on the other side of the line, slapping himself at the thought.

"What?" House asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"It's stupid." Wilson told him, cursing himself for even thinking of what he was going to suggest.

Sternly, House spoke into the phone. "Wilson. What were you going to say?"

Wilson sighed. "I was going to ask whether you think it would do Cuddy some good to go back to the hospital. She could—"

House cut him off, saying, "No. You were right, it's stupid."

"Yeah."

"She needs rest. LOTS of it, Wilson. I don't even know how to do this," House divulged, his tone seemingly disappointed at himself.

"You're doing well, House," Wilson assured him, "Just be there for her. And keep your mind off of dark thoughts."

"Got it."

They were silent for a few seconds before House almost hesitantly told Wilson, "Thanks. For checking on us."

"You're my friend," Wilson said, "I was concerned. Let me know if you guys need anything."

They talked for some more, Wilson telling him that his team was doing fine on their own at the moment, and Cuddy's Temp making no attempt to stage a coup. Their conversation lasted for less than ten minutes before they hung up and House headed back to the bedroom.

* * *

_**September 4, Sunday, 10 PM**_

A few days had passed, but they were still walking on eggshells around each other, cautious to not remind the other of things that would only hurt them further.

Sunday night, while they were in bed with House leaning back against the headboard and Cuddy on her side, facing away from him while she browsed through her Blackberry, Cuddy could not help but bring up something she knew House wouldn't quite agree with. At least not at the moment.

"I'm going into work tomorrow," she informed him plainly, eyes affixed to her mobile device.

House tore his eyes away from the book he'd been reading to stare at the back of her head. "Talk to Wilson?" he asked.

Cuddy frowned, "No."

House was still staring.

"You're on leave," House reminded her.

"I can go back whenever I want," Cuddy replied nonchalantly. She would have shrugged if she could.

House closed the book and removed his glasses. He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he told her, "You're still sick."

Cuddy sighed before finally setting her Blackberry on the nightstand and turning so she was facing him.

"I can't just stay here. Everything reminds me of her," she told him quietly, looking into his eyes.

"_You _remind me of her." She was unaware that she had actually voiced that thought out loud, until she noticed him recoil, his eyes wide open. House stared at her, speechless. A moment later he got off the bed and walked out of the room. Cuddy sighed and lowered her head into her hands, letting out a breath. She hadn't intended to tell him that.

Unsure of what she should do, she closed her eyes and hoped sleep would claim her quickly.

Unfortunately, sleep did not come for her at all.

She sat up in bed ten minutes later after having decided to find him so she could apologize. The guilt ate at her, her insides knotting uncomfortably the longer she did nothing to tell him she was sorry.

Slowly she made her way to the living room, thinking he went there to clear his mind. She tried the kitchen when she didn't find him in the living room. He wasn't there either. She frowned. She hadn't heard the front door open or close. She walked towards the nursery, wondering if he was hiding out there, but he wasn't.

Cuddy had no doubt then that she had hurt him deeply.

Walking to the front door and opening it, she stepped out of the house and checked if he was outside. She wasn't surprised to find that he wasn't.

Cuddy sat down on the doorstep, leaning back against the door she'd just closed. She stared out into the darkness hoping to see him walking back home to her.

Mindless of the tears framing her face she sniffed, hating herself for having pushed him away. She hadn't meant to say it aloud!

She felt even more terrible for what she'd done.

It was true, he reminded her of Sofia. Everything in their goddamned house reminded her of their daughter! He was the father of her child, why wouldn't she remember their daughter whenever she saw him?

Briefly she wondered if it would have been harder if Sofia had had House's eyes.

She sobbed quietly into her knees, her tears gliding onto her pajama pants as she hugged her legs to her chest.

* * *

When House had walked out of the bedroom, he quietly grabbed a pair of running shoes, putting them on and tying them as quickly as he could. He didn't care if he looked like an idiot running at night in pajama pants and a tee.

He had quietly left the house and started running.

A few minutes into his run, he couldn't help but chastise himself.

He shouldn't have left her home alone.

She wasn't well. She was vulnerable.

The memories in the house would start haunting her the moment she knew she was alone.

Maybe she fell asleep. Maybe she didn't.

He ran as fast as he could.

Anywhere.

The wind was blowing against his face, cooling the sweat dripping off of him. It was a welcomed sensation.

Faster.

He sprinted towards the park more or less seventy feet before him.

Her words cut him like a jagged, rusted knife. Her five words slowly cut through his armor, making him unable to compartmentalize what emotions he had to be strong enough to support Cuddy and what emotions he had to push to the background because it would only weaken him.

Breathe.

It was okay to feel. It was okay to hurt. But he wasn't like the others. One wrong thought, one _insidious _thought, and he could go back to his old ways. He could self-destruct like he'd never done before. He couldn't afford that. Not when Cuddy needed him now more than ever.

He slowed to a fast jog, settling with doing rounds around the fairly large and empty park.

Yes, there had been moments when they eased into a comfortable silence like before, but now they also had their moments when they were walking on eggshells around each other. Sometimes she held herself back from leaning on him for support. He would tell her he was fine when in truth he was a mess inside.

House and Cuddy were too afraid to hurt any more than they'd already been. They were too afraid to confide in one another because it would only bring back the memories of Sofia's death. To them, it was coping when in fact they were pushing each other away by cultivating their fears and hesitance.

House knew they should talk. He knew it was important for them to talk. However, he didn't want to pick at wounds that were still so raw and fresh. He himself was still reeling from everything that had happened. He was far too afraid to face their past just yet.

It was integral to moving on, but neither he nor Cuddy was ready.

He stopped jogging and hunched forward with his hands on his knees, panting. He sat back on the grass before lying down on it. He ran a hand across his face.

_You remind me of her._

He was still reeling from those words. At first he was upset and mad that she had told him that. She reminded him of Sofia, too, but he'd never tell her that. It was okay, normal even, to feel that way. It was another thing to use it as an excuse to go to work so she could escape being with him even for a few hours.

If she only knew just how much _she _reminded him of their daughter. Whenever he looked into her eyes, he saw Sofia's. She was the mother of his firstborn. The mother of the child forever lost to him.

He would always be reminded of that.

He would never tell her like she'd unintentionally told him.

He sat up and breathed in the fresh air of the night, his body cooling down.

He knew he had to go back to her, check if she was all right.

House stood up and brushed off the hurt he felt from her words. He felt the same way, but he would never make the mistake of telling her that and allowing it to come in between what he felt for her and what they could still have together.

* * *

Pathetic could not describe how Cuddy probably looked to her neighbors, she thought as she wiped at her eyes with an arm. She didn't want to go back in. She didn't want to be left alone with the ghosts of a past she wished had never happened.

She didn't regret having Sofia—she would never regret bringing her into the world.

She regretted not having done everything in her power to help her get better.

She blamed herself just as much as she blamed House sometimes.

She always thought, what if she had agreed to the VP shunt? What if she had let House give the go signal? What if she had trusted in him enough to allow their daughter to go through the risks just so she could have had a chance to get better?

Her tears were relentless, each tear and each ache and constriction in her chest a punishment. Motherhood wasn't meant for her.

It seemed only yesterday she held her newborn daughter against her chest, her heart ablaze with utter happiness. Now that memory was accompanied by Sofia's demise. It had been a truly heart wrenching tragedy.

At night when she closed her eyes all she could see was her baby fighting for her life while her parents argued about what steps to take. Dreams of the memory of seeing her employees trying to revive her daughter—_her _trying to revive her daughter haunted her each night since she'd left.

Cuddy jolted, pulling herself from her thoughts, when she felt a sweaty hand fall on the back of her head. She lifted her head up and was met with the eyes that never failed to anchor her when she was drifting away in a sea of emotions.

"I'm sorry," left her lips immediately as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly as she buried her face where his neck met his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she cried hoarsely, quietly, squeezing her eyes shut. She felt his arms wrap around her trembling frame, not saying anything.

"House—"

"Shh," he gently said, pulling her closer.

She wondered if he was still upset—stupid question. Why wouldn't he be?

Getting a whiff of him, Cuddy commented in a watery voice, "You stink."

House chuckled gravelly.

"I'm so sorry," Cuddy repeated, gazing into his eyes.

House shook his head, "It's fine." He rubbed her arms gently with his hands.

Cuddy sighed, eyes drawing together. "It is _not _fine!" she whined. "I shouldn't have said that. I—"

House pressed two fingers against her lips.

"It's okay," he said. "I forgive you," he told her just so she could stop feeling guilty for how terrible she'd made him feel. He wanted them to move past this.

Cuddy nodded in resignation.

"Come on. I need to shower and you need to get some sleep if you want to get to work early tomorrow," House stated, leading her inside the house.

"You're okay with me going to work?" Cuddy asked curiously.

"Yes. Just be sure to take something for the fever. Don't stress yourself," House said, closing the door behind them. He locked and bolted it before they headed to the bedroom.

"Okay," Cuddy agreed. It wasn't like she wanted the fever sticking around.

House nodded.

"Good, now get some sleep," he kissed her temple before heading for the bathroom.

Cuddy followed him to the bedroom a while later. She buried herself under the duvet, hoping that going to work the next day would actually be beneficial to her.


End file.
